( chapter v. CONFRONT YOUR FEARS )

— 🌙 —

Calypso's plan to confront her uncle – not the cat but the dog – was placed on hold until the day she was supposed to give the map back to the twins. She hadn't planned on having the map for so long, thinking about what her father would think if he ever found out she knew where it resided keeping her from wanting to keep it, but with her unwillingness to confront him the first night she had it and her classes keeping her busy, she simply didn't have the time. At least, that's what she told herself.

Logically, Calypso knew there was no reason to be afraid of seeing him. This man was her uncle, the same one who would place her on his shoulders and parade her around the house singing vulgar lyrics as her mum yelled at him to stop, the whole time little Cal just laughing, loving every moment of it. This was the same uncle that bought her first pair of earrings after she had her ears pierced. This man who loved her Aunt Nadia more than anything in the world, who would protect his family no matter the consequence – even if it meant life in Azkaban.

Yet, she still found there was a fear inside her. Not for the reasons many people thought either. She knew Sirius would never hurt her, she knew that he wouldn't hurt anyone, but that begged the question as to why he was there at Hogwarts in the first place. It couldn't be for Calypso, he hadn't made a move to see her.

(Which actually hurt her when she thought if it.)

And she didn't think it was to see Harry either, seeing as the boy still seemed hesitant to even be in the same room as her. Maia, who was in his year and had Divination with him, always scoffed when the boy said something remotely bad at her, ready to jump and defend her cousin. That was another thing people didn't know. Since she was Maia Greene and not Maia Black, there seemed, at least to others, there was no relation between them. The public had forgotten of Nadia's relationship with the alleged murderer.

While Maia would always defend her, she did it because of her relation to Calypso, not because she herself believed that Sirius was innocent. She did it because, technically, she too was apart of the Black family and didn't want to be casted as evil, like they were beginning to paint Calypso.

No, the real reason Calypso was scared to see Sirius was going it had been so long. There had been no real relationship before he was imprisoned, Calypso could barely remember the time. Only smells, only foggy memories. There was no clear event she remembered with her Uncle Pads. He remembered her, though. Maybe he had even seen her around the castle. Was he proud of her? Did he liked how she was turning out? They were all questions Calypso wanted to ask but knew she never would.

"Hey, Cal," Birdie threw a cracker at her, "What's got you all misty eyed?"

"Misty eyed?" Calypso smirked, glad to have the distraction of her friends. It helped take her away from the more pressing matter of Sirius Black and his residency inside the castle. "You been hanging with Hermione lately?"

"Please," the Bishop girl rolled her eyes, "We haven't even spoken one word to each other, and I only used that term since I've been reading some old books. They have that kinda language in it, so I just picked it up."

Calypso rolled her eyes in a fond matter, "Of course, my mistake."

The four girls – the other two being Angelina and Cho – sat outside near the Black Lake, enjoying warm weather for a little while.

Cho huffed and slammed down her book in her lap, "I hate Muggle Studies. What the hell am I even supposed to learn from this fucking textbook?"

"Woah, calm down, Chang. Nothing to swear about," Angelina snickered, "And nothing. Burbage is shit and those textbooks don't teach you anything. Just ask Cal here, she knows so much about muggle culture. Can tell you anything you ask about."

Calypso shook her head, cheeks tinted in pink from the compliment Angelina had given her. "I don't know about that. I didn't even know what bowling was before a couple weeks at the end of summer," she confessed, "But then Leo took me. It was a lot of fun and I think I kinda understand why people do it."

"The hell is bowling?" Birdie wrinkled up her nose in confusion.

"The fuck with bowling, who cares about it? I wanna know who Leo." Angelina leaned in, but there was something in her eyes that Calypso couldn't place her finger on. It was excitement or anger, something in between maybe.

But then Calypso froze, but only for a moment. Oh right, yet another thing people didn't know. It was in these times Calypso was reminded of how many secrets she kept – too many probably, but they were mostly family ones. Maybe that would help ease her panic, the mantra in her head playing shit shit shit over and over again.

They didn't know about Leo, they didn't know about Maia, and they most certainly did not know about how innocent Sirius Black was. No, the Black family held many secrets that Calypso knew she wouldn't – couldn't – share.

There were some that weren't exactly secrets, like the fact her grandparents had been Death Eaters and wanted their children to be the same. There were others that she barely knew the truth to, like the life her mum and uncles had in 12 Grimmauld Place. She knew it wasn't nice, she knew that her mum's back was littered in scars, but there wasn't much more Remelda had ever told her. And then there were the others that Calypso knew fully and was never meant to share, like the one of Sirius Black.

She was never supposed to share for two simple reasons. One, no one would even think to believe her. They all liked to think he was a murderer and would stick to it until evidence showed he was innocent. Maybe if there had been a trial people would've seen the evidence, heard the alibi, and know he was innocent. But there wasn't and Calypso couldn't change that now. Two, her Uncle Pads himself never to engage in anything that could associate the two of them with him.

They couldn't visit him, first off, and he didn't visit him. He wanted to keep them out of everything but that wasn't too easy when everyone was watching you, waiting for you to get in contact with him and give him up – something that Calypso would never do.

"Oh, right. You don't know him," Calypso continued the conversation, "Leo's my neighbor. He's really helpful." She lied. It was better to lie. They didn't need to know the truth.

"But Calypso, what the fuck is geometry? We've been reading at muggle school subjects and geometry just looks like you're trying to summon a demon," Cho ranted, causing the girls around her to laugh.

"Honestly, Cho, I don't really know. We don't talk about school very often, but I know it's a form of math," Calypso answered.

Cho leaned away and nodded her head, "Math...I read about that. Sounds terrible."

Calypso just smiled. "It probably is," she agreed, "but it's like their version of Potions...not in the sense that they're anything alike but the torture part."

Birdie groaned when she thought of that horrid class, "I feel bad for muggles now. And hey – Cal – can I see her homework from last class? I need some help."

"You need to copy mine so that you don't get a zero for it," Calypso deadpanned, "And I don't have it with me right now. I have that class tomorrow."

"Me too! And I don't have the time to work on the assignment, I'm too busy," Birdie began to plead, "Please, please, please!"

The Black girl rolled her eyes, "Oh, you're too busy? More like you're going to stay up all night with Luna talking about how the Americans didn't actually land on the moon."

"They didn't!" Birdie exclaimed, "It was all a scam and Luna and I are gonna prove it – you'll see! But really, I have to do Transfiguration and Charms tonight, I don't have time for Potions if you want me to actually get some sleep."

Calypso sighed. She was going to say yes either way, always willing to help her friend out, but sometimes it got annoying. Birdie just wasn't willing to put in any work to a class that she didn't like, often meaning she just copied off of Calypso. "Fine."

"Thank you!" Birdie smiled brightly, a look of joy and relief and there. That was the reason why she always said yes, just to see that smile, that happiness and gratitude, on Birdie's face.

"I wish I had a friend who let me copy off of them," Angelina sighed.

"Me too."

"No, you don't," Angelina rolled her eyes and elbowed Cho, "You enjoy working to copy off of anyone. If anything, you'd be the Calypso in the partner but I'm definitely the Birdie."

The bell rang and the friend departed. Lunch time was over and there were more classes to attend to. But as she walked and without the distraction of her friends, Calypso's thoughts returned to Sirius. She had to give the map back either today or tomorrow morning and still needed it to find him, which left only one option; she'd have to confront him tonight.

― 🌙 ―

SHE WAS NERVOUS. Her hands were shaking greatly as she held the map in her them, the parchment without ink on it. Not yet, anyways. Calypso, in the days before, had time – she had six days, five, four, three, two, one – but now, now she had no more time left. It was after dinner and she didn't have any more time, she wouldn't go looking in the morning. No, her time had run out and she had to go looking that night, right then. She had to.

She walked with Angelina back to the Gryffindor tower, bade her goodbye as she went into her own dorm. Once in her room, Calypso got the map from her trunk where she hid it, knowing none of the other girls would dare go her bed, and went back down the stairs. Down there, she had seen the cat figure of her Uncle Regulus and she didn't intend on having a conversation with him right then. Calypso had another mission involving her other uncle. Regulus could wait, she could chat with him another day. No, right then Calypso had to focus on Sirius Black. Figure out why he was there, maybe even embrace him, and talk with her uncle whom she hadn't seen in person since she was two, and that was a long time ago.

But she had known Regulus since she was eleven, in the summer after her birthday and before she went off to Hogwarts for the first time. She had time to talk with him, on the nights where he stayed with them and they crowded in the living room to watch a movie that on the TV or put in a Disney one. He could wait.

But now she was in the lit corridor alone, knowing that she had – maybe, hopefully – two hours before the Prefects started to walk the halls and give her detention if they caught her out of the Gryffindor tower. Two hours. Two hours wouldn't compare at all to the years she had been robbed on with her uncle, but they were a start. She could do with two hours.

With a shaky breath, she brought out her wand again and pressed it to the paper for a second time. "I solemnly swear I am up to no good," she whispered the command, watching as the ink danced on the paper, covering the parchment.

And the words she said true. This wasn't a good idea at all. If anyone found out that she had been in contact with a criminal she didn't know what would happen. If anything, she could only afford to be caught by her own dad. He wouldn't get her expelled, he wouldn't get her in Azkaban, he wouldn't tell anyone at all, but he'd want to know why. That was something she couldn't give him. He wouldn't accept it until he had seen proof himself that Sirius was innocent and at that moment, and possibly even forever, Calypso didn't have it.

She looked everywhere on the map, and like the first time, she saw the name. The very name of her uncle, the very last name she shared with him. SIRIUS BLACK. But then, like the first, it had disappeared from the map altogether.

But she started walking. When she passed people, Calypso hid the map in her robes and continued on to the sixth floor where she had seen his name. Many others appeared there too but they didn't mean anything in that moment, she had to get to the place where his name had last been seen.

When she reached there, Calypso just stood there, looking an empty wall. This had been where his name was. He was here but he wasn't; he was gone. But Calypso was still determined. She needed to find him – had to. It was what she wanted more than anything, to find her uncle and be with him, talk to him.

And then a door appeared. From the wall, a door appeared and it seemed to be just for her. With her heart beating inside her chest, she hesitantly inched closer to the door, afraid of it almost. No, afraid of what could be waiting behind it. But then, maybe fifteen seconds away at most, she heard other students which caused Calypso to take hold of the handle, pull it, and go into the room. She couldn't be questioned now – she couldn't be seen with the map now. She had come so far.

Calypso took a look around the room. It was rather plain but looked comfy enough and when she turned to look in the corner she saw a man, an aged one, there with a knife in his hand, almost ready to attack. He looked just like in the papers. This was her uncle and he was holding a knife, regarding her as an enemy.

He didn't know who she was. He didn't see her at Hogwarts, he wasn't proud of her, he didn't even know who she was. Did he even remember the days before? Did he remember carrying her on his shoulders and singing? Did he remember tucking her in bed and reading her stories with crazy voices for all the characters. Did he?

"Hello," Calypso found herself saying, "Sorry for barging in, but I had to find you."

The man didn't waver. Calypso took a step forward, holding her hands up as a sign that she wasn't the enemy, heart clenching because she had to. And, in her hand was the Marauders Map – something he noticed.

"The map," he muttered, lowering the wand and relaxing, staring at it.

Calypso nodded, "Yeah. I got it from someone, Uncle Pads. Had to know if you were here." I still need to figure some things out here.

"Uncle Pads," he muttered again before his eyes softened and he looked at her, "Calypso?"

"Hi," she smiled, happy that he did remember. He did remember the days before. He knew her name. "Nice to, uh, see you again. Well, nice to see you. I can't really remember you from when I was young."

"You've grown so much," Sirius placed the knife down, "Oh, you look so nice. I-I, it must've slipped my mind that you'd be here."

"I'm a fourth year now. And dad's a teacher here. Started this year," she informed him.

"Remus is a teacher?" he snorted, relaxing more and more, "Oh, we always used to joke about that, never thought it'd come true. How's Remelda? How's you mum?"

Calypso was smiling more now, glad that she had learned more about her dad. "She's good. Really. She works at a business company, nothing really big, but she's been good," Calypso told him, "But she's been a bit irritated with all press around our house."

"Because of me?" she nodded, "I'm sorry."

"Don't be. Never be. It's okay."

"I don't mean to be rude, Callie," she winced at the nickname, "but why are you here? I mean, why did you have to see me?"

"I had to make sure you were here – that's what all the rumors say anyways. That I'm helping and hiding you in the castle, that's what they all say. It's terrible and I hate it. But mum told me the truth when I was eight. I know you're not a murderer," Calypso explained, giving detail but not too much.

"Remelda did that?" he asked softly.

"Of course," Calypso nodded her head, "but dad doesn't know. Mum didn't tell him at first because of how their relationship was heading and then he went away for a while, we didn't know where. And after that she knew there'd be no way to convince him."

Sirius nodded, "Of course, of course. Remus has always been like that."

"And-and I needed to why – when I saw your name on the map – why you're here in the first place," Calypso continued, sitting on the couch in the room, "It's dangerous. You should know by now that Dementors are guarding Hogwarts. You shouldn't be here."

"But I have to," Sirius stressed his words, sitting down beside her, "Peter is here so I have to be."

"Wait – Peter's here? Are you sure?" Calypso's eyes widened. She knew that he had gotten away, but she assumed that he was living life in another country – like Regulus. Wait, no. No. She'd never compare her uncle or anyone else in her family to that traitor.

"Of course I am. It's the reason why I escaped," and ouch. He could've gotten away this whole time but stayed there. He didn't escape because of her or her mum, not even his family, but because of Peter. And probably because of Harry. To save Harry again from that traitorous bastard but to save him, not for Calypso.

She didn't voice those thoughts, though. They were meant for only her. Calypso was always more emotional, she guessed, and these were petty feelings that didn't need to be shared. "How can you be sure though?" she asked.

"The newspaper," Sirius spoke, "I saw him in the newspaper. The prophet. I knew it was him – I was sure of it. He looked the same."

Calypso's eyebrows furrowed and she looked over at him, "Where in the Prophet?"

He blinked, as if trying to remember, "The family. A family of gingers. They were in Egypt and the youngest boy was holding a rat – was holding Peter."

Sirius spat the name out in disgust and Calypso could understand why. But a family of gingers? "Do you mean the Weasleys?" she inquired.

"Yes," her uncle nodded, "Yes, yes of course. Of course it's the Weasleys."

"The youngest one's Ron. Well, Ginny, but you're talking about Ron. He's friends with Harry," Calypso informed him.

Sirius' eyes lit up at the thought of his grandson and a part of Calypso ached because his eyes didn't do that for her. "Is he?"

She nodded, "Yeah."

"Are you and Harry close?" Sirius looked at Calypso.

She bit her lip and shook her head. Calypso knew that she never even tried to be friends with him. Harry didn't know about Sirius Black until summer when he escaped and that meant she had two years to try and befriend him but didn't; she was too scared. Too scared that he would find out about her uncle and blame her, hate her. At least, that's what she told herself. But now he hated her just the same and thought she was evil – which she most certainly was not.

"No," Calypso answered her uncle honestly, "We've never really spoken before either."

"Well, why not?"

That most certainly was not a tone of approval. No, it was the opposite. More one of disappointment. Calypso tried to shrug it off. "I don't know. He sticks with like two people and that's it. I have my friends and he has his."

"But you could've been friends."

And this. This was another reason, one which she just realized, why she didn't want to see Sirius – why she put it off for so long. It was the truth that he could've gotten free for so long but stayed there, didn't even escape for Calypso or their family but his friend. Sirius chose James' son over his own flesh. She could understand turning from the dead ancestors before but his own sister...his own niece and girlfriend (ex) and, although he didn't know this, brother?

Harry meant more, it seemed. Fred and George were giving the map to him soon, even though it should fall to her. She was the first child of Marauders yet he got to keep the map? It was being handed over to him? She was Sirius' niece yet he only escaped for Harry – his godson. She was born first and she should...no.

She wasn't more important. That was the truth. She was just Calypso Black, a werewolf. Harry Potter was The Boy Who Lived, who defeated Voldemort when he was only one and fought against him again in his first year, who saved Ginny Weasley last year. What had Calypso done? Lie? Keep secrets? No. She most definitely was not more important.

"But we aren't," Calypso swallowed, hoping to keep her tears from falling. "And there's no changing that now. He hates me."

Sirius sunk down into the couch, "Because of me, right? Because of your connection to me?"

She saw how broken he was, how even though he tried to stay away he was still affecting Calypso and her mum. How he was still a poison to them. And this, this right here, was the exact reason her own father didn't know about who she truly was. Didn't know about the scars that adorned her arm and how everything month she went through an extremely painful process with him. It would break him.

Calypso nodded. "He thinks you're going to murder him," she informed.

Sirius sighed deeply and shut his eyes, "Of course. The whole wizarding world does. But why...why didn't you tell anyone? Tell him?"

It was always about Harry, wasn't it? "Because why would he believe me? Your niece," she hoped that in saying this, he would understand that she had a connection to him – she would matter to him. But Sirius didn't even know who she was at first.

"You're right," Sirius conceded.

She tried to crack a smile, a little light in the dark situation, "I always am."

But that was just another lie.