Reviewer: BloodyTurtle

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The Escapist's Tale

By @LittleMissAutumn

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Cover/Blurb/Title

Cover • The cover design looks nice. But it's missing the author name, and it definitely needs one on my opinion. Covers typically have author names on them. Also, it's a little picky of me, but the lowercase letters tweak me out for the beginning of the words, intentional or not.

Blurb • The blurb is good. It's adds curiosity right away without giving away too much information. I didn't see any grammar mistakes.

Title • The title works well for the story. It's fitting, and it's not bland.

Descriptions

The descriptions for scenery and body language is very nice, though I feel scenery could have a bit more in a few scenes, like in the classroom during the first few paragraphs. The main character doesn't have much for description in the first chapter, other than the fact she has boots. The next chapter we get that she has brown hair, but that still isn't very much. The characters have pictures in the authors note, but she should get more of a description. However, Mac has a very nice description that flows with the actions, and the other characters from here have a bit more.

Characters

The characters were very nice and well done. The main character has a strong voice, and you can really tell she has a slightly carefree and troubled attitude. The characters later on have well developed personalities as well, so you don't need to change really anything about this.

Plot/General Writing

The writing was well and enjoyable. The dialogue flows nicely, and it has a good amount to convey the characters. The darkness of the town is swiftly shown, and it leaves a needed vibe for the story. I noticed some foreshadow, and it's done well. The word choice is good. The pacing isn't too fast or slow.

Grammar
I am really satisfied here. I saw very scares mistakes, and they were just commas. However, one mistake is a little big of a deal. You use periods instead of commas at the end of dialogue when a dialogue tag is after. (I actually had the same mistake in my books for a while, so I see how you didn't know it. I was recently told about it surprisingly.)

Reader Engagement

I felt really engaged while reading. It hooks you in greatly in the beginning with the deaths and dark atmosphere. The ends hook well, so I wished to keep reading. Many questions are raised throughout, so you've got engagement in the bag.

Overall

This is a very nice story. It's a good mystery, and it hooks like a mystery should. I don't have much to say but to fix the dialogue tag issue. I recommend this to anyone looking for a dark mystery.

4.5 stars out of 5

Good luck, lollipop!