Reviewer:  laurynjanelle

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TITLE

The Dummy Run

By @jonquilles  

SUMMARY

After a death in their family, Collien Raish is shocked by what was once a well-kept secret. Turns out her father, rest his soul, had not one but a few skeletons in the closet. Their family business is going downhill. Not to forget the appalling fact that they owed a bank way beyond their means.Now living alone with her mother, Collien accepts it's just another bitter pill to swallow if she wanted to keep them afloat.But exactly how do you wiggle out of a loan worth millions and millions?Then comes into play a suspicious contract, proposed by a mysterious acquaintance, who, turns out, is also planning a sham marriage. Could it be the answer to all of her problems?

Cover/Blurb/Title

Cover • 

So the cover is intriguing and interesting to look at. I like it and I think it was a creative choice to make the guy's face blurred out since in the description it mentions a mysterious stranger.

Blurb •

                                                                                            None

Title •

 I don't understand how the title relates to the story from the first few chapters, but I'm assuming it has something to do with the sham marriage. It is eye-catching though.

Description

The description is interesting, but also is kind of transparent, meaning it is very predictable. Of course, there could be plot twists within the book, but it seems to the general eye that you could see how Collien is going to meet a stranger, who then fixes all her problems because he is rich. I would suggest maybe selecting a piece of dialogue from your story so it would be less predictable, or if you're fine with the predictability, then you should keep it because the writing is fine.

Characters

  The characters are relatable from what I could understand. Collien seems understandably distraught over her father's death and I'm sort of confused on the other characters.  

Plot/General Writing

  We are introduced to Collien and I'm assuming the stranger. The flow seems to be going normally and the plot is developing at a good pace. At the same time, I couldn't quite understand the text with the switching of languages.  

Grammar/ Reader Engagement

 So it's hard for me to critique this when I don't know the language. When my computer attempted to translate it, the grammar was really funky, but I know that other languages have different rules. The grammar that I could see was inaccurate and held a lot of minor errors such as saying on when it should be in and so on. These errors make the story very unengaging and it makes it harder for the reader to understand what is going on in the story. My suggestion is to write in one language only.

Overall

Overall, I couldn't judge the book very well due to language switches, but it seems to be on the right track. I highly suggest picking one language to write in for any book, for the reader's sake. I recommend this book for business-romance lovers and for readers who can understand the other language you wrote in.

3 out of 5 stars

Good luck, lollipop!