Reviewer: BloodyTurtle

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The Changelings of Piconyx

By DragonPower05

Being a human isn't all it cracks up to be, and neither is a being a dragon. Silvestra Astaelondottir is both. She is a Changeling, a dragon-human hybrid that can morph between human form and all the dragon species. Silvestra doesn't know it, but her grandfather is killing all the dragons. If she and her friends don't do anything to stop this villainy their world may fall apart. Can the Changelings of Piconyx stop Gaetir and his warriors, or will all the dragons die? 

Though first she might want to get out of this stupid, dusty cell...

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Cover/Blurb/Title

Cover • The cover works well for the story. I didn't find anything hard to read, and it made sense.

Blurb • It's simplistic, which is good for a blurb. It didn't really do a good job at sparking my interest, though. I feel like it should have an interesting quote or something for that effect. Some sentences felt awkward in it.

Title • It's a good title. It's original and creative, so it's a keeper. I'd keep it how it is.
 

Descriptions

I couldn't imagine much. The descriptions were lacking. I recommend that you go over everything with more detail, as it was really difficult to imagine the story. 

Characters

I didn't feel especially close to any of the characters. Their personalities weren't very strong. I did get a sense that the Viking leader was evil, but that's because it was explicitly stated and he was smiling. Their descriptions were lacking too. I didn't feel motivation or anything for why the characters did anything.

Plot/General Writing

When reading, it felt like another human was speaking to me. It doesn't work too well with third-person, and I didn't understand why the narrator didn't see or know that which the main character didn't. I think you'd be a better first-person writer. For the story, it was lacking a bit. The story had levels of creativity, but I found it bland. I didn't understand anyone's motives, nor did I find reasoning for lots that happened. I don't see why the leader would make his daughter become impregnated by a dragon for a child that'd be locked up her whole life. Nor do I understand why the daughter and dragon weren't killed. I also recommend that you throw in the word "Norse" a few times instead of using "Viking" so often.

Grammar

The grammar was relatively well. Small mistakes are thrown about, though. I recommend you download Grammarly, as it'll help with some of them. I personally use the site. Some commas felt like they should be periods, and some commas didn't belong. Words sometimes were missing letters so they were different words. I felt like a few predicates were missing too. The sentences could be a little awkward at times. Lastly, some letters felt like they should be uppercase.

Reader Engagement

I wasn't especially interested in reading more. It didn't catch my attention greatly, and I wasn't connected to this world. I couldn't feel anything while reading, mostly since I couldn't feel anything with the characters.

Overall

2 stars out of 5

The story has decent grammar. I feel like it would have potential in a first-person PoV, as you're writing has a voice. Work on the descriptions and character personality, and it'll be good. This can become a great read if you put lots of effort and time with it. I recommend this to people who like dragon stories and Vikings.

Good luck, lollipop!