Reviewer: Ginny_7

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Tears of the Shadows

By ProjectKyle

SUMMARY

"Light, can even be found, in the Shadows."

In the heart of Era. A fantasy world filled with color and light. Lurks a cold, merciless nightmare, Dugan of Shadows! For years, Dugan has driven fear into the hearts of the citizens of Era, and now seeks to make his move on the strongest of Eras defenses. But one final challenge stands in Dugans way. One force that he must overcome before wiping out humanities last hope. And that, is where our story begins...

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Cover/Blurb/Title

Cover • I actually really like it! It looks like a lot of effort was put into it.

Blurb • If I'm being completely honest this sounds like a really predictable cliche. It sounds like District 13 standing in the way of President Snow, or The Divergent messing up the whole faction system. When you say "humanities last hope" that was a little bit of a turnoff for me. I understand that it adds a flair of dramatics but it doesn't really appeal to me. 

Title • The title "Tears of the Shadows" doesn't really relate to your blurb. The blurb talks about how triumphant Dugan is with one challenge left standing in his way so it doesn't make much sense for it to be related to him yet the prologue talks about how he's obsessed with the shadows. 

Descriptions

I feel like there aren't that many descriptions of anything. Sometimes you mention what color things are, or if they're bright or not. I'm looking for sensory details. Describe what he hears when he comes back to the real world. You could say something like "The drum of the horses hooves drowned out all other thoughts in my mind including the man Solomon, who was trying to grab my attention. Da-dum...Da-dum...Da-dum." Or something like that. 

Characters

Where are they? In the first chapter you've only introduced two characters. Dugan and Solomon. Try to add more characters. I like the ones you've created so far but try to introduce more.

Plot/General Writing

I'm very confused as to whats happening. He goes from one reality to his original one, then goes to take a reactor? That he's been planning for his whole life? The first chapter was so confusing and I can't say the second one was any clearer. 

Grammar

Your grammar is pretty good. Although you've done one of my pet peeves which is not using the correct form of a word. For example you used "Rome" instead of "roam", "site" instead of "sight" and things like that. Otherwise it looks good. It's really nice when a writer knows how and when to start a new paragraph.

Reader Engagement

I didn't exactly feel engaged. The book didn't hook me as others have done but it wasn't bad either. 

Overall

3 stars out of 5

I will rate this a three out of five stars. There's definitely great potential to this book. My review probably seems really harsh but I want to help you grow as a writer as much as I can so I'm being completely honest with you. I wish you good luck and hope you find this review helpful!

Good luck, lollipop!