Reviewer: laurynjanelle

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Loving the Annoying You

By nevergottired59

Ever had a crush on a boy that you'd do anything just to get to him? Well, Juliette is feeling the bliss of love for the first time and if she wants it she gets it. Besides, she have awesome friends who'd definitely be willing to help. Or so she thought. What happens if her so called bestfriends are the ones hindering her love? Would she still have her happy ending? Of course she would, the question is, happy ending with who? A friend, another friend, or her dream prince.

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Cover/Blurb/Title

Cover • The cover is really cute and I like it a lot. The vibrant yellow definitely helps the cover to stick out and the title is visually clear. Great job!

Blurb • The blurb makes sense and the plot appears to be clear within it. It's cute, short, relatable, and clear. I think with some minor editing, it's sure to attract many readers.

Title • So while reading the first few chapters of the story, I couldn't quite see how the title relates at all to the story. I think it's just because the story has only four chapters, but I'd just keep that in mind while writing. Always make sure your title, description, and blurb are relevant to the plot or topic of the story.

Descriptions

The description is the same as the blurb except for a couple of word changes. I like how the last sentence sort of lays out what the book is about, which seems to be her choice between her best friends and her crush. Other than that, just focus on the grammar.

Characters

Juliette seems to be the stereotypical MC. She's a teenage girl with two male best friends that are twins. Juliette is pretty likable, as are the twins, who portray a reasonable bond between siblings. The introduction of Emma was missing though. She popped out of nowhere and is not introduced to the audience at all. Is she Juliette's friend? Aunt? Sister? The world may never know.

Plot/General Writing

Firstly, I think I know what the plot is but I'm not actually 100% sure. It seems to be about Juliette and how she plans to woo Vincent Somers. It also seems to be about the twins and how they influence her choice of their friendship and her crush. You should make the plot more clear in the description and in your writing. I assume there will be more detail in the following chapters though, so I won't harp on it.

The flow was kind of funky mainly due to the irritating tense inconsistency. I'll talk about that in the grammar section. Anyways, that messed up the flow and another thing that disrupted the story was the fast pacing. One chapter, Juliette doesn't even mention Vincent (even though the chapter is called Meeting the One) and the next, she calls him her prince and she seems like she's practically in love with him. I think rephrasing would do the story some good like maybe Juliette thinks Vincent is hot instead of being in love with him already. Also, if you keep the first chapter's title as Meeting the One than you need to make sure she actually meets him or else it doesn't make any sense to have the chapter named that. 

Grammar + Engagement

Okay, so if I am being honest, the grammar within the story completely disengages the reader by being very confusing and odd, which makes it hard to read.One thing I noticed was Tense Switching. This is a big no-no. Tense switching is moving in and out of different tenses such as the past and the present. For example:Past: Juliette ate lunch while sitting next to Etan.ORPresent: Juliette sits down next to Etan and eats her lunch.Another thing I noticed was POV changes. So before you start your book, you need to pick how you're going to narrate your story. There is first person, second person, third person and omniscient. Well, those are the basics. Anyways, you pick one of those and then you pick which tense you are going to use, past or present.In your story, you said things like:I loved to wake up in the morning.Then you switched to:Emma thought Juliette was weird.Those weren't exact quotes from the book, but do you see how the POV switched? If you were keeping first person, in the book, you'd have something to say Juliette's POV: I loved to wake up in the morning.and then you'd have to switch to Emma's POV: I thought Juliette was weird.That's just one example, but it works for all of the points of views. You cannot switch the type of POV during the book or else it gets confusing. So if you're in first person, stay in first person the whole entire book.

Overall

3 stars out of 10

Overall, I like the book, it's cute, funny and interesting. Still, the story needs a lot of work. It needs to be edited, more detailed and the plot is going to need some work as well. I would first work on the grammar and flow of the story and then you can work your way to a more complex plot and storyline. I recommend this book for teens.

Good luck, lollipop!