Reviewer: BloodyTurtle

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I am a Dreamer

By @LaveshG

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Cover/Blurb/Title

Cover • The Cover is really dark. It's annoying how dark the image is. You can't really make out the image unless you really stare at it, so it doesn't intrigue well. I wouldn't pick it up for this cover. But I can read the words, and that's good. I recommend you get a new cover though. If you need one, try the lollipop cover shop or my personal shop Murderous.

Blurb • The blurb was interesting. I liked it. It raised a lot of conflict and questions, so it does its job of hooking. However, I have a few complaints. First, I dislike the effect you used around the quote. It digs into the other words when the book isn't clicked on. Also, it just feels unnecessary. Second, a lot of basic grammar mistakes were present in the blurb. Typically, grammar mistakes.

Title • I like the title. Nothing needs to change about it.

Descriptions

You need to work on descriptions. I could picture hardly anything. I saw some, but not all. The most descriptive thing had to be the injuries, but I saw nothing but that in much detail, and even that wasn't detailed enough. Have more body language and thoughts and just more of everything in descriptions.

Characters

At first, I liked the characters. Notice at first. They seemed interesting, then I realized how flat they were. All the food characters act around the same and feel as though they have the same wants and thoughts and desires. Then, all the evil act the same and follow the same thoughts, wants, and desires. Depending on the side, they are flat and similar to others of their types. Also, I felt like things were working far to swimmingly for the mc. Yes, she was bullied and has nightmares that injure her, but all the good things are way too convenient. I couldn't even understand why anyone did anything so easily without any questioning or reasoning.

Plot/General Writing

The plot has a lot going for it, so that's good. It keeps people questioning a lot. The "dreams injuring those in reality" bit is in no way new, but I feel like you can do it in a fresh way. Now, a lot of the plot in the first few chapters felt irrelevant. It was just living, but it bored me horribly. Sometimes it can be used to draw out more about the characters so you learn about them, but they did way too much without much new information going my way. Also, nothing really affected me. I felt completely bland when reading. This is due to the lack of description and flat characters. I just felt blah the whole way through.

Also, the pacing was too slow. Far too slow. Nothing really happened in the first few chapters. However, too many events happened at the same time with little description. It horribly confused me with the little detail. Work on pacing. Also, many sentences were awkward to read.

Grammar
The grammar wasn't good. I found many mistakes; it got to the point where I was thoroughly annoyed. I'm annoyed due to the simplicity of the mistakes. Most were commas, and that's understandable. But there were really basic mistakes such as-
1. Spacing. No spaces.
2. Quotation marks put in wrong place
3. Paragraphs that should be together
4. Accidental new paragraph within a paragraph.
5. Apostrophes
6. Likely more.

Reader Engagement

Okay, so. The cover didn't grip me, so I wouldn't have picked this up. Then the blurb didn't make me wish to read due to the basic grammar issues, as I'd dread reading them. Then, if I did pick it up, you killed me brutally. So many author's notes were before the story that I would've given up if I didn't have to review. Seriously, it annoyed the hell out of me. Put them all together so you don't murder your audience with boredom! Then, when I reached the story, it just came off as boring. Very boring.

Overall

Sorry for the harshness, but this book needs a lot of work. Maybe rewrite the whole thing after you finish and really put a lot into it. It seems like it has potential, but you need to have distinct and diverse characters and better grammar and... A lot to make it something I'd willingly read. As of now, I wouldn't read this complete story if paid.

1.5 of stars out of 5

Good luck, lollipop!