Reviewer: weasleyqueen- 

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30 Blind dates

By parnikalal

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❝Calvin you can't love me.Its not possible.It will never be. ❞ I whispered in a teary voice.▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ ➳Meet Clara Wright head of Multinational Company called Strands. Her company is a money making machine making millions of dollar each second but for Clara money wasn't something she has ever carved for. Her life had been a series of misfortune with past relationship failures, depression,loosing her parents,stereotypes, and the rest well was history. With that she was diagnosed with a rare skin disorder which ruined her face and body.Now Clara avoids looking at herself anymore and everyone keeps a distance from her. Until she decided to go on a blind date with a stranger for 1 month. The date will take her around complete Europe which will ultimately show her the beauty of the world and herself. Will this stranger bring back the bubbly lively Clara or will loose her completely?

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Cover/Blurb/Title

Cover • The cover isn't bad. I like how simple it is but maybe you could add a little pizzazz to it you know what I mean? Like maybe you could do a fancier font or something.  

Blurb • Okay I'm just saying the first line is really cliche. If I came across it, I wouldn't have read the book. So many writers want to have the "you can't love me. I'm not good enough." or something like that. Please carved to craved. It's really a turnoff when author's misspell in their description. The rest sounds interesting but try to make it sound more original. 

Title • The title is interesting but I don't see how it connects with the blurb. When you said "30 blind dates" I thought there were thirty different guys or something. If you don't want to change it that's completely fine. Those were just my thoughts. 

Descriptions

You don't really seem to have any. Once you described her scars in greater detail but it didn't help create a clear image in my mind of what she looked like with her scars. 

Characters

It was good how you included Clara's past in the first chapter. But you said barely anything of her personality other than she wanted happiness. Is she organized? Disorganized? Likes sports? Loves to relax and watch Netflix?

Plot/General Writing

The plot isn't really going anywhere yet. When you introduced the 30 blind dates with the brochure that was really creative. However as I've said before, maybe try to make it a little less cliche. The writing is pretty good so far but try to make the story flow. Right now it seems like each thing you add, it hits the reader in the face and quickly moves on to something else. 

Grammar

The grammar is okay. However don't start paragraphs too soon. Personally I do whenever there's a new paragraph, or the setting changes. You added a lot of those. Also, quite a few sentences need a little tweaking normally because of spelling issues. Make sure to space after each sentence too.  

Reader Engagement

Nothing really jumped out at me and grabbed my attention. Try to leave the end of the prologue on a cliffhanger. 

Overall

3 stars out of 5

There's potential for this story. The blind date idea is good but I wish you would make it a little more original. With some fixes this story could be one that readers would be eagerly anticipating the next update. 

Good luck, lollipop!