Every time I close my eyes
It's like a dark paradise
No one compares to you
I'm scared that you
Won't be waiting on the other side

-Dark Paradise by Lana Del Rey 

The sky was dark, and the moon was  present as always, as Louis and Harry drove around the busy streets of New York at 2:30 am, windows opened, letting the air rush in. The 1975 was blasting loudly on the radio, and it made the blue eyed boy sigh in content. His eyes never left the scenery outside as they pass through tall, and bright buildings that never seemed to die out. He lived for this kind of nights were he just wanted to drive around the city, his favorite artist blasting through the radio, and the moon being the witness of what was happening.

"No, I don't want your body but I hate to think about you with somebody else."

Sighing, Harry made a sharp turn to the left, eyes never leaving the road. He was still in a deep thought about how they had ended up in a drive to nowhere, when they fought hours ago. The confusion and guilt was there whenever he looks at Louis, and he was scared to ask why he was feeling that way. Deep inside, he knew there was still a nagging feeling in him that he dare to not acknowledge.

"How much do you love me?" He couldn't help but ask Louis, and he glances shortly at the latter before returning his attention to the road ahead of him. They passed by countless of clubs, and other stores, and the street signs were all a blur as they sped up.

Louis froze for a moment before shrugging his shoulders. "If you ask me for the moon, I'll give you the whole universe instead." He looks at Harry and smiled widely. "Hard to explain, but you get my point."

Comfortable silence fell upon them as they both enjoyed the ride of their lives. It was something that Louis knows he would treasure forever in his heart, and he wonders if Harry would too. Maybe he would, who knows.

"You know," Louis said, as he stared at the moon that was only showing a side of it, hiding away his true form. "You remind me of the moon."

Harry chuckles. "Why?"

"You only show a part of you to everyone you encounter. A side you keep telling everyone— convincing everyone that this is who you truly are, and this is who they should know. There's always a cold part of you that no even the sun can burn."

The green eyed man's mouth was parted as the words dawned into him like a metaphor he couldn't understand back then. Shaking his head, he stops the car, and sits there for a moment. Louis looked around and realized that they were by the sea, soft waves crashing.

"Come on." The pair got out of the car, and Louis hugs the jacket tighter as he shivers because of the wind. Taking off his shoes, he stuffs it back inside the car before walking down the sand. Harry was walking beside him, his curly hair being disheveled by the strong wind.

The moon was shining brightly, almost as if he was smiling at their arrival. The light illuminates the sea, creating an aesthetic scenery. Louis smiled as they came to haunt, both sitting down on the sand.

It was just them, the sea, and the moon. The four of them being graced with silence and admiration. Louis couldn't help but admire the moon. How many secrets can the moon keep until he can't anymore? He once told the moon that he was in love with a green eyed man, and the moon had responded to him by shining more brighter than ever. His secret was safe, but it was broken down as he had confessed to the man himself earlier.

"I'm sorry." Harry suddenly spoke, breaking the trance earlier. The waves were running to the shore, before inching away from it. It almost reminded Harry of how similar he was to the waves; the way it inches away after it reaches the shore, almost as if he was afraid of being touched in more ways than one. "I'm sorry if I made you fall in love with me."

Louis snorted, gaze still locked on the sea. His 'sorry' was now useless, because he already fell hard, and fast in the bottomless pit called Harry's heart, and he hated how nobody warned him about men with such alluring souls would be the source of his heartache. He could still remember his mom's words, telling him to love hard because it is not easy being loved less. Ignoring Harry's comment, he spoke slowly.

"No one told me that in love, you'll drown." Harry didn't utter a word, so Louis took it as his cue to continue. "No one told me that it would hurt like this— as if your body is on fire." 

Harry ran his fingers through his curls, a sigh escaping his lips. Louis always leaves him speechless with all the metaphors and poetic sentences, and the least he could do was listen. It won't do much but, it's better than arguing. "What do you want me to do?" 

"I'd ask you to love me, but I know it would be like asking turtles to run." A giggle escapes Louis' lips, and Harry couldn't help but stare at the boy in amazement. "But, I want you to let me go, Harry." The serious tone that Louis held scared Harry shitless. 

Deep inside, he really should let the cerulean eyed beauty go, because all he ever caused him was pain, and agony. But, why couldn't he? Sure, he was selfish, arrogant and an asshole, but there's this thing inside that's keeping him from freeing Louis. He should be crowned as the most selfish man to ever exist, but he didn't care, no. As the night progresses, he had realized that Louis was not a river, he was an ocean. He realized that Louis was not just the moon, he was the sun, moon and stars combined. He had been chasing stars when Louis was the moon afterall. He's the fool now. 

When Harry didn't say anything, Louis spoke. "I want to hear the words you dare not to say to anyone. Learn the different folds of your heart, until I've mastered and treasure it forever." His voice was soft as a pillow now, almost breaking halfway through, but he managed to say it with pure sincerity. "You were not mine to lose, but I still feel like I lost you at the same time." 

"I'm a raging sea inside of a raindrop, Louis. There's more to me than what meets the eye." Harry stated, before taking Louis' hand in his, and staring at him in the eye. "You are made up of poetry, roses, and the whole universe, Lou, and I should be ashamed for not realizing that you are everything that I've ever wanted. But you have to understand, I don't love, and I don't know what that thing is."

Louis shook his head, tears running down his face and to the sand bellow him. "That's the thing, Harry. I want you to love me. The agonizing pain of not being good enough for you to love is there. It's burried deep inside me that I can't just forget no matter how many times I tried to tell myself that I shouldn't-- I shouldn't love you like the moon loves the sun." 

"I fear that if I show you the real me, I would be too much for you. Too much, but never enough." 

"Let me in, Harry." 

No one spoke after that, not even an utter from them. They just stared ahead of them with their minds filled with deep thoughts that never seemed to perish. The moon was beginning to leave their company, giving the sun the chance to witness a love that was damaged and hidden deep inside. The stars were also leaving one by one, until there was only one left, and the sun had appeared with a blinding light that had created a path of brightness on the sea that seemed to savor the sun. The sun had only one job here, and it was for them to realize the beauty that not only lied on the surface, but also underneath it all. The moon had long retired as he had done his job.

 It was the sun's turn now. 

--- ♡♡♡--- 

FEEDBACKS? 

author's note: Hii! I'm so sorry for the short, and shitty chapter, but I had to update! I promise you that I'll be better in the next chapter. Guys, can you read my new story called CARMEN? It's in my profile, and I would appreciate if you vote and comment on it. It's a bottom harry au tho. I love youuuu. 

HERE ARE THE LINKS TO MY STORIES: 

ALWAYS (bottom louis) 

https://www.wattpad.com/story/58251481-always-%C2%BBl-s-au

CARMEN 

https://www.wattpad.com/story/148324374-carmen-bottom-harry-au

-your darling author