Loki usually enjoys Tony's parties. He enjoys dressing up; he enjoys his Sylvie persona; he enjoys the nights of carefree fun.

But, waking up this morning (or, technically, this afternoon), he finds that he's not overly eager to attend tonight's event.

He will, of course. He may not be looking forward to it as much as he usually does, but he's still going to attend. It's still preferable to sitting alone in his room while everybody else is out enjoying himself. But he's not feeling that same excitement he usually does, and he doesn't like that.

There are a few different explanations for this, he muses to himself. The first is that he's really comfortable lying on his side with his cat curled up against his chest, and he would be rather content staying here until he dies. The second, of course, is that everything is weird now between the Avengers, and he's really not looking forward to Tony coming back at all unless he, Steve, and Bucky plan to resolve their problems very quickly. And the third – and perhaps the more difficult to explain – is that he doesn't really feel like Sylvie right now.

Loki does not control his gender. He has never been able to control his gender. His gender decides what it wants to be when it wants to be it, and he usually just ignores it because he's forced by society's limitations to "be" a man at all times, even when he knows he's something else.

He doesn't usually have the opposite problem. He doesn't usually feel so connected to the masculine side of himself that the idea of presenting as a woman makes him cringe – likely because he's rarely in a situation where he has to present as a woman when he doesn't want to. He's really not sure what to do about this.

"What do you think?" he murmurs as he gently strokes Snowflake's stomach with his fingers. fingers. "Hmm? Do you think I should go?"

Snowflake, of course, does nothing but lie there, because that is what Snowflake does best.

"I still want to, I think," Loki adds. "I just..." He sighs. "I wish it was a different day."

Again, Snowflake just lies there. He kisses the top of her head, and she mews quietly.

"Maybe I'll feel differently by this evening," Loki says. That would be the best case scenario. Maybe he will feel like a woman by the time the party starts. That would be nice. That would be an easy way to solve all of his problems.

Although, really, that would only solve one of his problems. It would solve the issue of how he's supposed to present himself at the party, but everything else would stay the same as it is now. The fact that the Avengers are still fractured wouldn't change. The fact that Bucky killed Tony's parents, the fact that Steve had some semblance of an idea that that was true, the fact that Tony's pissed at them for it, that's not going to change.

... Probably.

Unless they have a nice heart-to-heart conversation before the party, which, now that he thinks about it, isn't entirely implausible. They might have done it already, for all he knows. He wouldn't be too surprised. It's somewhat late. Tony could be home by now. He and Steve and Bucky could have talked already. They could be preparing for the party together right now, for all he knows.

Loki sighs and presses one more kiss to his cat's head. "I'm going to get up, darling," he murmurs. "You can stay here if you want."

Obviously, Snowflake doesn't answer, because she doesn't speak English.

Loki carefully sits up, doing his best not to crush his cat or disturb the mattress too much. His chest feels cold without a cat to warm it up. He wonders if Snowflake feels the same way about her back now that he's not lying against it. He wonders if that's why she stands up despite his best efforts to leave her lying comfortably where she is.

Snowflake yawns, and her ears fold so far back, it almost looks like she's lost them. One day, he's going to get a picture of her doing that. He doesn't know how he's going to do it, but he's going to figure it out. It's too cute not to immortalize onto his phone.

Loki stands up, and Snowflake takes a moment to stretch, arching her back as her legs reach out in front of her. She stretches the other way next, leaning over her front feet and letting her back legs stretch out behind her. Loki waits beside his bed for her to finish, a soft smile on his face. She's so cute.

Snowflake yawns one more time, blinks twice, and then hops off the bed. Loki takes that as his cue that he's now allowed to leave his room, so he does. Snowflake, of course, trails after him. She's really the ideal stalker (when she's not running between his feet to trip him).

They're just walking through the halls together, just like any other day, when he hears a noise. He wouldn't even know how to describe it. It's a mechanical whirring and a whooshing, and he can't tell where it's coming from. The longer he listens, the harder it is to pinpoint. It's as though it's coming from everywhere all at once.

Out of an abundance of caution, he reaches down and picks up his cat, cradling her like a baby. She doesn't protest.

"Do you hear that, too?" he murmurs to her.

Needless to say, Snowflake again does not respond. Somebody else does, though.

"Loki?" Steve's voice comes from down the hall. "Is that you?"

"Possibly," Loki answers. He nuzzles Snowflake with his nose, then continues down the hall in search of the captain.

Fortunately, Steve is pretty easy to find. Less fortunately, he's barely processed that he's found him before Iron Man himself is flying right toward him, and Loki quickly steps back around the corner he'd just rounded.

Iron Man rounds the corner after him, zipping right past him without a word.

"Excuse you!" Loki calls after him. It doesn't even earn a glance.

Loki rolls his eyes and steps back into the room... where he finds many other Iron Mans perusing around. They're setting up tables; they're setting up drinks; they're setting up candles. They're everywhere and they're doing everything and he doesn't know how to process any of it, so all he does is stare.

"So, in case you haven't guessed," Natasha says, "Stark's not back yet."

Honestly, Loki had not guessed that. He hasn't guessed much of anything. He's really not sure what to make of this.

He takes a moment to look at the non-robotic people in the room. Natasha's here, of course, as is Steve, though he expected that much. Clint is also here, and, a bit more surprisingly, so is Sam Wilson, who definitely was not here when he went to bed early this morning. He's sure that would be more noticeable and surprising if he wasn't distracted by the army of Iron Man suits in front of them.

"I..." Loki furrows his brows, looking around at all the chaos. "... am very confused."

"You and me both," Sam says.

"Tony's redecorating," Clint says. "Call me crazy, but I don't think he's coming home in time for party prep."

Loki looks up at the ceiling. One of the Iron Man suits is putting up a disco ball. It's a strange sight, to say the least.

"What did we even do to piss him off this much?" Natasha wonders aloud. "The Accords were, like, two weeks ago. He can't still be upset about that."

Loki glances at Steve instinctively, but he's just looking around the room. It's hard to tell if he's avoiding their gazes, or if he's just in awe of what's going on around them.

"The fact that he's still planning to retire tells me he's probably still upset about that,." Clint remarks. It's a fair point, even if it's not actually what's upsetting him.

"So, what's the play for us, then?" Sam asks. "Business as usual? Are we going to be super nice to him all night? Or try to stay out of his way?"

"I guess that'll depend on what he's like when he gets back," Clint says.

"Play it by ear," Natasha agrees. "I'm assuming he'll be back before the party starts. We'll see how he's doing."

"I don't think you guys have to worry about anything," Steve assures them. "Just act normal. Don't make a big deal out of it."

"It's hard not to make a big deal out of the thing Tony's making a big deal out of," Clint remarks.

Steve sighs. "I know," he admits, "but try. It's better than making things worse."

There are a few nods and murmurs of agreement among them. It will be interesting to see if they're able to keep that up. It's hard to be normal with someone who's acting abnormal – though they might have an easier time than Steve would; they don't know it, but at least he's not upset at them specifically.

"Loki," Natasha says, and then everybody's staring at him, which is not at all what he wanted. "You're being suspiciously quiet."

Loki raises his brows. "Am I?" He's quiet, yes, but suspiciously so? This doesn't feel like a conversation he's supposed to be overly invested in.

"A little bit," Clint agrees.

"What, you have some insider information you want to share with the class?" Natasha asks teasingly.

Loki shakes his head. "I can't say that I do," he lies. "And I'd hardly say this affects me as much as it does you. We communicate almost exclusively in sarcastic remarks, and I have no plans to change that." Things are different, of course, when they're alone. They've had real, genuine conversations when they were alone. He doesn't expect much alone time with him today.

Natasha nods approvingly. "Fair enough."

"Hey, weird question," Sam says, earning some – fittingly – weird looks in return. He gestures toward Loki with his head. "Can I pet the cat?"

Loki looks down at Snowflake, still contently lying in his arms. If she looked to be falling asleep, he'd refuse in an instant. He always feels bad about waking her, though she's such a light sleeper that it's hard not to. But she's just looking up at him, no thoughts behind those pretty little eyes, so he doesn't have much of a reason to refuse.

So Loki puts Snowflake down on the floor in front of his feet. "If she comes to you, you're welcome to," he says, but he's not going to force her to accept affection from someone she only kind of knows.

Sam crouches down and holds a hand out toward her. "Here, kitty, kitty," he coos.

Snowflake looks at him blankly. At least she's looking at him. That's a good start.

"Hey, buddy," he murmurs, and he snaps his fingers a few times. "Come here."

Again, Snowflake just stares.

Sam rubs his fingers together enticingly. "Come on, little guy. Come here. Come to papa." (Natasha huffs a laugh at that.)

Snowflake just stares.

Then she turns around and rubs against Loki's leg.

Sam throws his hands up, exasperated, as he climbs back to his feet. "Oh, come on!"

Loki picks his cat up, letting her rest over his shoulder. She rubs her head against his cheek, and he smiles. He really does have the world's best cat.

Sam crosses his arms. "Now that's just not fair."

Loki shrugs. "What can I say? My cat loves me."