"Hey, FRIDAY," Pepper says as she enters the compound, "where's Tony?" He usually bombards her with texts the whole way over. The fact that she hasn't heard from him once is a little... weird... But he said he'd be here, so he must be, somewhere. He's probably just busy – working in his lab or something, she'd guess, though what he busies himself in there with now that he doesn't spend his time working on his suits, she can't even guess.

"Mr. Stark is in your bedroom, ma'am," FRIDAY replies.

Now that would explain the radio silence. A nap would definitely draw him away from his phone.

She keeps an eye out for the others as she walks, but they must all be elsewhere, because she hasn't run into anybody by the time she reaches the door to their room. That's not too unusual. It's a big place – and didn't he say that the Spider-Man kid was coming today? She wouldn't be surprised to hear that everyone's hounding the poor guy right now.

Tony's not, though, as she very clearly sees when she opens the door and finds him lying in bed with his face shoved into his pillow.

She smiles to herself. She really does have the cutest boyfriend ever, doesn't she?

She closes the door behind herself, offering them a bit more privacy, not that she expects to run into anyone over here. She kicks off her shoes, leaving them against the dresser and out of the way. Then she climbs into bed, and gently wraps her arms around her partner as she snuggles up with him. It's good to be home.

"Pepper?" Tony mumbles into the pillow.

"It's just me," Pepper assures him. She presses a kiss to his neck before letting her head rest on his arm. "You can go back to sleep."

Tony takes a deep breath, and she can feel the rise and fall of his chest as he settles back in.

... It lasts, like, ninety seconds.

Still, it's nice while it does.

Tony rolls over to face her, and she knows the moment he meets her eye that something's wrong.

"Hey," she murmurs, cupping his cheek in her hand. "What's going on?"

Tony shakes his head helplessly. "A lot," he says, his voice barely a whisper.

Pepper sighs. "Oh, Tony..." She presses her forehead against his, her hand still resting gently on his cheek.

"It's been a really bad week," Tony says quietly. "I'm really glad you're here."

"You should have told me," Pepper says. "I would've come sooner." He knows that. She knows that he knows that. If he needs her, she's there, Stark Industries be damned.

They just lie there for a while – seconds, minutes, hours; she doesn't know – but eventually, Tony sits up, so Pepper sits up, too, her legs criss-crossed in front of her and a frown on her lips. He just looks so... defeated. She hates that. He's not supposed to be defeated. He's Tony Stark. He's the Tony Stark. He's supposed to be on top of the world, not... like this.

"What's going on, Tony?" Pepper asks quietly.

Tony sighs and shakes his head. "A lot," he says again, but this time, he elaborates. "I don't think I know who I am if I'm not Iron Man."

Pepper's frown deepens. "What...?"

"I thought it would be fine," he says. "I thought I could just step back, maybe help with some of the behind-the-scenes stuff, but it just feels like I'm betraying the team; like I'm feeding them to the wolves when I should be helping them, protecting them."

Pepper lets out a long breath. She hates to say it, she hates to put this idea in his mind, but... "You could go back." She doesn't want him to. She doesn't want to risk losing him, and every mission he takes, she knows damn well that's exactly what's happening. But if the alternative is this, is him tearing himself apart every time the team goes off to fight, she'd let him change his mind. She'd let him risk his life every day if it means keeping his sanity intact.

But Tony shakes his head. "No, I can't," he says. "I tried that 'hero' thing, and too many people got hurt. I can't go back to that. I can't take another innocent life on my conscience."

She gets the feeling he's not done, so she stays quiet.

Tony sighs. "But if someone on the team dies because I'm not there to protect them... I don't know if that's something I can live with, either."

Pepper nods sympathetically. She can't fault him for that. It really is an impossible situation. There's no winning here. No matter what he does, whether he jumps back in or hangs the suit up for good, he's betraying himself. She doesn't envy him at all.

Tony lets out a long breath and buries his head in his hands. "I'm so fucked," he mutters.

Pepper reaches over, rubbing gentle circles over his back. She wishes there was something she could do. Ever since this whole superhero thing started, she's wished there was something she could do. She'd essentially been 'in charge' of him (as much as anyone can be in charge of Tony Stark) for years by that point. She'd always been the one he called on when he had a problem.

But that was all over the minute Iron Man entered the picture.

Now he's into all these things that she can't touch, can't play a part in, can't fix for him, and she hates that. She's so, so proud of him for everything he's done, but selfishly, a part of her wishes he never had. She wishes things had never gotten so big, so out-of-control. She wishes he'd put the suit away as soon as Obadiah was out of the way and left it in the dust, that he'd turned SHIELD away when they showed up at his door looking for the Tesseract all those years ago, and things had just stayed simple.

But he didn't. He did the selfless thing, and he kept fighting. He kept risking his own life to save the world, time and time again, and this is how it repays him: a no-win situation that he'll beat himself up over no matter how it goes.

"There's, um..." Tony lifts his head and clears his throat uncomfortably. "There's one more thing."

Pepper's frown only deepens. "What's that?"

Tony takes a long, deep breath, blowing it out slowly before he forces himself to meet her eyes. "My parents."

Her incredulity gets the best of her, and without thinking, she repeats back, "Your parents?" His parents that have been dead since before she even started working for Stark Industries? (Unless they're not dead? Is that where this is going? God, she hopes that's not where this is going. That would be so weird.)

Tony huffs an insincere laugh. "Yeah, I know, I'm 46 years old and whining about my parents that've already been dead half my life." He rolls his eyes at that – at himself, really, which is even worse.

Pepper sighs. "Tony, they were your parents," she says. "Of course you still miss them. It doesn't matter how long it's been; they were your parents."

But Tony shakes his head. "That's not what this is about," he says. "Not really. It's..." He sighs, running his hands down his face before letting his gaze drop to his lap. "You know, I haven't actually said this out loud yet, and I'm kind of afraid that this is going to make it feel more real."

"You don't have to tell me," Pepper says. She wants to know what's bothering him. Of course she does: he's her partner, the love of her life; knowing what's wrong is basically her eternal commitment by now. But if it's going to make things worse...

"No, I can..." Tony shakes his head and takes a deep breath. "Bucky came to talk to me last night."

Pepper furrows her brows. What the hell does Bucky have to do with his parents?

... Actually, now that she thinks about it, Bucky probably has a lot to do with his parents – or at least his dad. If Howard was friends with Steve and Steve was friends with Bucky, then they must have crossed paths, right?

Tony looks up at her, and all he says is, "He killed them."

Pepper stares at him blankly.

There's probably a very obvious explanation to what that means, but right now, she is very confused.

"It wasn't his fault," Tony continues. "He didn't ask to become HYDRA's best weapon. But he still did it."

It takes a moment, but Pepper figures out what he's talking about – something so obvious from his words, but also so completely out of what she would have thought was the realm of possibility, she didn't even process it.

"Bucky killed your parents?" she repeats softly.

Tony swallows hard and nods. "So he says."

Pepper doesn't know what to say, so she doesn't say anything. How could she? What could she possibly say about this?

"He said they went quick," Tony continues. "He didn't, you know, make them suffer before he..." He trails off, and he runs his hands down his face once more, then shakes his head to himself. "It's been a shitty few days."

Pepper leans in, wrapping her arms around him in a gentle hug. "I'm sorry," she murmurs. "That's..." She sighs. "I'm so sorry, Tony."

"I don't know how I'm supposed to act like everything's normal after this," he says. "I don't know how I'm supposed to look at him after this. I mean..." He shakes his head helplessly. "My parents, Pep. He killed my parents – he killed my mom."

Pepper cups the back of his head with her hand, holding him close, and he collapses into her, burying his face in the crook of her neck.

"I know it wasn't his fault," Tony mumbles. "I can't blame him for this any more than I can blame Loki for the shit he pulled. But at the same time..."

Pepper nods sympathetically. She can't even imagine how he feels right now. Nobody can, she thinks. There's not a single soul in the world who's been through what he's going through right now. Some might come close – a lot of them have Loki to thank for that – but she's not sure there's anybody who could understand what he feels right now.

Tony sighs. "And now Rogers and Banner look like they're gonna stage an intervention 'bout my drinking – and I'm sure that Spider-Kid thinks I'm a full-blown drunkard, so, you know, off to a great start there."

She'll ask about the Spider-Kid later. Right now feels like the wrong time.

"Do they know?" she asks. "Rogers and Banner? About...?"

"Mm-mm," he hums against her neck. "I haven't told them, at least; Rogers might've already..."

"He might've already known," Pepper finishes for him, and Tony nods minutely.

She lets out a long breath. Collecting formerly brainwashed killers was bound to come with its share of problems, but this... Never in her wildest dreams could she have predicted something like this.

"What can I do?" she asks quietly.

"Kill me?"

"Tony..."

Tony groans. "I don't know," he mumbles. "I'm just glad you're here."

"I'm here whenever you need me," Pepper says. "You know that."

"Yeah, I do," he agrees. "Don't know how I got that lucky, but I did."