Wanda and Natasha have literally been running around all fucking day.

Tomorrow is their semi-monthly-except-it-never-really-ends-up-being-monthly girls night with the Avengers, and it's their first time hosting, so it has to be perfect.

They both ran to the grocery store this morning. Wanda took the food on the left side of the store, Natasha took the food on the right side, and they met in the middle; a brilliant time-saving move that they will never make again because grocery shopping is so much less fun without your wife by your side.

Then they went to the local party store. After a bit of back-and-forth about what theming to get, they decided on pink and purple – for everything, from plates and napkins to balloons and streamers – with a few officially licensed Avengers decorations thrown in the mix for laughs more than anything else. Then, of course, after they drop all of that off, they have to hit the other local party store in search of decorations to see if they can find decorations with some of the other female Avenger guests, because it's only fair to try to include as many as possible.

When they get home for the umpteenth time that day, Wanda goes about working on the crafts while Natasha starts putting up decorations. She begins with the name plates. They won't lay them out for anybody; their friends are welcome to choose their own seats, of course. But at least this way, they'll know whose food is whose when they inevitably get up to mingle – and, more importantly, it will be a nice little souvenir for them all to remember what a wonderful day they had.

Wanda and Natasha's beloved pet cat, Paprika, begs to differ.

She hops up on the kitchen table, walks through the plate full of paint as if it's not even there, and trots right over Jane Foster and Darcy Lewis's name plates, leaving little kitty cat paw prints all over the carefully decorated (and personalized) pieces of paper.

Wanda scoffs. "Excuse you!" she tuts, picking the little kitty up and cradling her like a baby, much to her chagrin. "I worked hard on those!"

Paprika just stares at her for a few moments, until, without warning, she reaches out and taps Wanda's cheek, just hard enough that Wanda can feel the painted paw print she left behind.

"You are such a pain in my butt," Wanda tells her. But, unfortunately, she loves this pain in her butt more than life itself, so she must endure. "C'mon, let's go show Nat my new face paint."

Paprika wiggles around in her arms, and Wanda just holds her tighter until she settles down. With her cat rather content – or just defeated and not willing to fight any longer – Wanda makes her way out to see her wife–

And almost walks straight into her as they round the corner.

Thank god they weren't walking any faster, or poor Paprika would be flatter than a pancake right now.

Wanda yelps and stumbles backward, and Paprika jumps out of her arms, landing rather gracefully on her four paws while her poor owner has a heart attack above her. Natasha's scowling as she walks into the room, but then her gaze lands on Wanda and her expression softens. She's such a cutie.

"What's wrong?" Wanda asks her. Something is definitely wrong – and it's not just that Paprika is getting paint all over the floor.

Natasha's annoyance returns as she's reminded of whatever problem she's having. "We got purple and pink napkins, right?"

Wanda furrows her brows. "Uh... yeah?" She distinctly remembers seeing her wife put both colors into their basket.

"Then where the hell did the pink ones go?" Natasha asks. "Because they're not in the bag!"

Wanda frowns. Well, that's... weird. "Let's go look." Maybe they just have to sift through the bazillion different party supplies they bought today. All she knows is that it has to be in there somewhere. Things don't just disappear into thin air, after all.

So they head out to the kitchen, and they both look through each and every bag on the countertop. They look in every bag, they look between every bag, and they look under every bag, but to no avail. The pink napkins are nowhere to be seen.

Paprika, of course, is everywhere to be seen, walking back and forth through their bags until she finally finds one to curl up in for a nap. It means nobody can inflate the balloons until she gets up, but it's a small price to pay to get the resident annoyance to cease her annoyingness. (They love her annoyingness.)

When that doesn't pan out, they check around the rest of the house – anywhere that either of them have been since they bought them. They check the food cabinets and the fridge and the freezer – anything they've opened this afternoon is getting opened again. They even check the bathroom, as if either of them would bring a pack of napkins into the bathroom for no reason.

Wanda heaves a sigh. "Well, we could just use plain white napkins if we run out of purple," she says. It doesn't go with the theme, nor are white napkins at all fun or exciting, but if they really don't have the pink ones...

"We already bought pink and purple everything," Natasha reminds her. "We can't just not have the pink napkins to go with the pink plates."

Wanda heaves another, even more dramatic sigh, this time less in annoyance and more to amuse her wife in some small way. "Well, I guess you gotta head back to the store, then."

Natasha looks up at her with the biggest, most adorable puppy dog eyes known to man. "We?"

"What?"

"We go back to the store?" Natasha folds her hands in front of her, quite literally pleading with her.

Wanda huffs a laugh. "Nat, the store's, like, ten minutes away."

"Yeah, but that's ten minutes in the car, and then five minutes in the store, and then ten more minutes in the car, and by the time I get back home, it's like I haven't seen you in half an hour."

Wanda rolls her eyes lightheartedly. "We have work to do, babe."

"Like going to the store," Natasha agrees. "Together."

Wanda shakes her head to herself. "Okay, let's go back to the store."

Natasha beams and presses an eager kiss to her wife's cheek. "You're gonna leave the Paprika print, right?"

Wanda gently touches her other cheek, where the now-dry paint still sits. "As long as you don't mind being seen with the weirdo with the cat print on her face."

"I would love to be seen with the weirdo with the cat print on her face," Natasha assures her. She holds out an arm, looking at her wife expectantly. "Shall we?"

Wanda hooks her arm in her wife's. "We shall."

~~~

They return from the party store with a pack of pink napkins and half a bar of chocolate.

Talk about a successful trip.

"You can remake Jane's plate if you want," Natasha tells her wife as they walk through the door, "but don't even bother with Darcy's. She'll be thrilled to have cat feet all over it."

Wanda huffs a laugh. "You're probably right," she agrees. "I'll see if I can fix Jane's and make hers presentable, but I'm definitely giving Darcy the cat one."

"She's gonna be ecstatic," Natasha says.

So Natasha heads back to whatever it is that she's doing, and Wanda makes her way back to the living room to work on the name plates, and–

"Are you fucking kidding me?"

Wanda whips around just in time to see Natasha hold up a pack of pink napkins.

"They were right here," Natasha says. "Right here next to Paprika. They were right here."

Wanda can tell that her wife is frustrated, so she tries very hard not to laugh about that. "Well, where are the purple ones? Is it weird to have twice as many pink as we have purple?"

"Probably, but at this point, we're just gonna do it," Natasha says. She tosses the napkins back down on the counter and wipes her hands on her pants before she starts digging through the party bag once more.

"What, you don't want napkin germs on your hands?" Wanda quips.

"The package got wet," Natasha says. "At this point, I don't even care enough to ask."

She goes back to digging through the party bag, and Wanda leans up against the wall to watch. She probably should go back to making the name plates, but something tells her she's not supposed to leave just yet.

And, sure enough, Natasha throws the bag back down on the counter with a groan and looks up at her wife. "Where the fuck did the purple ones go?"

Wanda furrows her brows, head cocked slightly to the side. "The purple napkins?"

"Yes, the purple napkins!"

"You left them on the counter," Wanda reminds her. "Next to the plates and Paprika and her balloon bag."

Paprika, who now lays on top of the balloon bag, meows quietly as though to assure them that she is, in fact, still present and accounted for.

Natasha steps to the side and gestures pointedly to the counter. "So where the fuck did they go?"

Wanda heaves a dramatic sigh. "Alright, let's start looking."

So they look through everything again. They look in, around, and under every single bag. They check the few rooms they may possibly have been in since the last time they saw them and when they left for the store, and they even check all of the floors that they could possibly have been knocked off onto, and yet somehow, the purple napkins are nowhere to be seen.

"We had the purple ones, right?" Natasha asks. "We lost the pink ones, not the purple ones?"

"I thought so," Wanda says cautiously. "I mean, I'm pretty sure..."

They're both quiet for a few moments, thinking. Could they have gotten the color wrong? Maybe they were confused. Maybe they weren't looking for the pink napkins at the store; maybe they had the pink napkins and they got that mixed up during the drive.

Eventually, Natasha just sighs. "Well, I guess we just have a bunch of purple napkins now."

Wanda shrugs halfheartedly. "A napkin is a napkin." And exclusively pink napkins will certainly look nicer than pink ones mixed with boring white ones.

Natasha groans dramatically, stomps across the room, and throws her arms around her wife, burying her head in the crook of her neck. "Why did we wait until the last minute to do this?" she mumbles.

Wanda lets out a long breath, wrapping her arms around her wife's torso and holding her close. "Because we're stupid," she murmurs.

"We're so stupid," Natasha agrees.

"But it's okay," Wanda adds. "Nobody's coming for the napkins; they're coming to see their friends who are always in different galaxies."

"Yeah, I know," Natasha mumbles. "But I really wanted the purple and pink napkins."

Wanda presses a kiss to the top of her head. "Maybe we can order them online and ask Carol to pick them up on her way."

"You think she'd mind?" Natasha asks.

"It's Carol," Wanda reminds her. "She would be thrilled to have a chance to help."

Natasha huffs quietly. "Yeah, that's true."

~~~

Natasha gets so frustrated with setting up the party decorations – for which Wanda mostly blames the napkins mishap, because nothing else she grumbles about should really be all that annoying – that Wanda has to step in and set it all up with her magic. It frees her wife up to help with crafting the name plates, because with how many women will be coming over tomorrow, they're going to need a lot of name plates.

Every few minutes, Natasha peaks over to see what Wanda's working on, and every time she does it, Wanda leans in and kisses her cheek, and every time she does that, Natasha giggles. It's a beautiful cycle of love and kissies that neither of them want to break.

Speaking of love, Paprika has been curled up on Wanda's lap for at least the last half-hour, and that makes it really hard to be a productive human being. She's this close to using her magic to draw and paint these things so she doesn't have to keep bothering her cat. She's just so cute and sleepy. How could Wanda disturb her?

And then the doorbell rings.

Immediately, Paprika is on her feet, and she jumps off Wanda's lap to go see who's at the door. Sometimes, Wanda swears her cat is part dog – but only sometimes, because often, when the doorbell rings, Paprika will completely ignore it and pretend it never happened. She's a silly little kitty, that's for sure.

Wanda looks over at Natasha, who's already standing up. "Carol?"

"Definitely Carol," Natasha agrees. She extends a hand, and Wanda takes it, letting her wife lead her to the front door. Is there a reason they need to hold hands while they do this? No, there is not. But is there a reason they can't hold hands? Also no, so here they are.

They open the door, and, sure enough, Carol Danvers stands on the other side, with their much-needed shopping bag of napkins in one hand and a conspicuously box-shaped bag in the other. (She's also wearing her superhero outfit, which, of course, looks amazing, but also makes Wanda feel very underdressed in her pajamas.)

"You made it!" Wanda greets her with a grin.

"I told you I would," Carol reminds her. "I was told we have a party to decorate for."

"You were told correctly," Natasha replies. She steps back, and Wanda does the same, letting her inside so they can close the door behind her. "Thank you so much for coming early – and for stopping at the store for us, because if I had to go back and buy napkins one more time..."

Carol just laughs. "It was no problem," she assures them. She holds up the other bag – the one that is very obviously holding some sort of box – and says, "I didn't realize the party store was next to a bakery, so obviously, I had to get cupcakes for the night."

Wanda beams. "As if you weren't already the best."

Carol shrugs, a playful grin on her lips. "I know."

The three head into the kitchen so that Carol can put her bags down, and the first thing she does when her hands are free is crouch down to see Paprika. (Obviously, she did not come here for Wanda and Natasha, and neither of them can hold that against her because their cat is so cute.)

"Hey, Pappy," Carol coos, scratching her favorite spot under the ear and earning an onslaught of contented purrs. "It's so good to see you again."

Paprika presses her ear further into Carol's hand, her head tilting further and further with every pleasurable moment. Why do Wanda and Natasha even try? She clearly has a favorite.

Carol picks her up, and as she stands up, she slings the cat over her shoulder, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. To Wanda and Natasha, she asks, "Well, what's new with you guys? Anything fun going on?"

The two share a look, and it's Natasha who answers, "Not really, no. Just... enjoying semi-retirement."

"The guys have stopped bugging us about missions they don't really need us on, which is nice," Wanda adds. It's not that she doesn't like going out and kicking ass with them; it's just that she likes staying in and cuddling with her wife more.

Carol snorts. "Sounds boring," she says teasingly.

"It is," Natasha replies. "I love it. I need boring."

Wanda just nods. Sometimes, boring is ideal.

"It means we have a lot more time to work on our tappies, though," Natasha remarks. "Can't complain about that."

Carol scoffs. "Ugh, I'm so jealous," she says. "I feel like I never have free time anymore."

"We have to set something up," Wanda decides. "Just the three of us. A tap dance day."

Carol beams at that. "Oh, I'd love that!"

"It's a need," Natasha agrees. "It will happen."

"It better," Carol agrees.

"And how about you? What's new with you?" Natasha asks. With a suggestive bounce of her eyebrows, she adds, "How are you and Valkyrie doing?"

Carol rolls her eyes goodnaturedly. "I told you guys, we're not together anymore."

"Mm-hmm," Natasha hums skeptically. "So I won't see any heart eyes tomorrow when she comes up?"

Carol rolls her eyes even more dramatically. "It was never going to work out," she says. "We're both just too busy."

"Mm-hmm," Natasha hums again.

"Mm-hmm," Wanda hums as well, a brow raised teasingly.

Carol rolls her eyes so dramatically that she rolls her entire head with them. "It's just not possible right now," she says. "Maybe someday in the future, when New Asgard becomes more self-sufficient without their king micro-managing everything and when the rest of the universe learns to get along without me, then we can see about maybe giving it another try, but until then..." She shrugs. "Here we are: just really, really good friends."

Natasha heaves a dramatic sigh. "The least you could do is move to New Asgard and make that your home base when you're on Earth."

Carol shakes her head. "I promised Maria I'd look after her house. I can't just leave it."

"That's what Monica's here for," Natasha reminds her.

"SWORD has been sending her all over the world," Carol says. "And when she has down time, she usually spends it by SWORD headquarters so she's there if they need her." She frowns and looks down at Paprika in her arms. "So I need to stay in Louisiana. I need to stay with Maria."

Wanda sighs and rests a hand on her friend's shoulder. "I know you love Maria," she says softly, "but she's gone, Carol. And she was so lucky to have you in her life, but you don't have to live your life for her. She would want you to be happy – much more than she'd want to see you hanging around her empty house all day."

Carol lets out a long breath, and she buries her face in Paprika's fur. "I know," she mumbles. "I just miss her."

Wanda rubs her back sympathetically. She never did meet Maria, but from what Carol and Monica have said about her, she sounds like she was an amazing woman. Carol was lucky to have her – and, of course, Maria was lucky to have Carol. But it's been years since she passed away. She wishes she knew how to show her friend what's right in front of her – a sarcastic little king who is obviously in love with her and will be making an appearance in this very house tomorrow.

Carol sighs and sets Paprika down on the counter, amidst all the plastic bags that she loves to bat around. "I should bring Goose someday."

The very obvious change of subject is rather conspicuous, but for her sake, Wanda and Natasha go along with it.

"I bet Paprika would love that," Wanda tells her.

"Or Paprika would try to kill her," Natasha adds. "She's never actually met another cat – or, at least, not since we got her."

"I think it'd be fine," Wanda decides. She strokes the cat, from the head all the way down to the butt, and Paprika just stands there as she does it. "She's a good girl."

"And if she caused any problems, Goose could just eat her," Natasha quips.

Wanda balks at her, an exaggerated look of offense on her face.

"Mm, I don't know," Carol says playfully, and she boops Paprika's nose – to which Paprika pulls her head away and looks at her as though this is the biggest betrayal known to man or cat. "I think Pappy could eat her first. She seems very talented."

Natasha huffs. "She can scarf down tuna like it's nothing," she says, "but I don't think she could eat a whole flerken."

"She's not that talented," Wanda agrees. She scritches the back of Paprika's head once more, then excuses herself to the bathroom.

A part of her feels bad about going to the bathroom within three minutes of her friend's arrival. A part of her knows that Carol would understand: she would have gone sooner, but there was a cat on her lap that she wouldn't dare disturb.

She pops into the bathroom down the hall, closes the door behind herself, and–

What.

The fuck.

Is that?

She instinctively reaches out to touch it, before she realizes how incredibly stupid that instinct is and she pulls her hand back. Instead, she leans down to get a closer look, her hands held carefully behind her back before she does something stupid with them.

In the middle of the sink, there's a pink... wriggly... ball... thing. She can't even describe it. It's small, much smaller than a basketball but bigger than a baseball. And lining every portion of the near-spherical ball are lines and crevices, almost as though it was a literal brain just sitting in the sink.

There's only one thing to do right now.

She pulls out her phone and calls Natasha.

It takes a few rings, and Wanda can hear the laughter down the hall, but, sure enough, Natasha does answer.

"What, did you miss me already?" she asks teasingly.

"Oh, always," Wanda replies, though with this pink brain thing just sitting in the sink, it's hard to feel all that playful. "Hey, can you come in here for a second?"

Natasha huffs a laugh. "Seriously?"

"Mm-hmm," she hums awkwardly.

"Wanda?" The teasing lilt to her voice dissipates, replaced instead with genuine concern. "Are you okay?"

"Just... come here."

"Um, okay, I'll..."

Click.

Wanda puts her phone back in her pocket, and then she turns her attention to the sink. She doesn't know what this thing is, but if it's going to do something weird, she wants to know.

Fortunately, it only takes a few seconds for Natasha to open the door, and Wanda grabs her and pulls her inside, locking the door behind them. She looks up at her wife, but Natasha's eyes are glued to the pink thing in the sink, too.

"What is that?" she asks quietly.

"I don't know," Wanda whispers. "I just came in and found it there."

Natasha crouches down in front of the sink, looking at it closely. "What the...?" She narrows her eyes, and for a few moments, she's silent, until finally, she stands back up. "What if we turn the sink on?"

Wanda scoffs. "Are you serious?"

"Dead serious," Natasha says. "It looks kinda weird and goopy. Maybe it's the kind of weird and goopy that just... dissolves."

Wanda looks at her skeptically, but she doesn't have a better idea, so finally, she nods. "Go ahead."

So Wanda takes a step back, and Natasha takes a step to the side, careful not to reach over the pink thing as she reaches for the faucet. After a silent countdown from three, Natasha turns the sink on.

... Not much happens.

The water begins to flow, and... that's it. The ball might end up a little cleaner – it's hard to tell – but otherwise, the only real change is that it's now covered in water. With a frown, Natasha turns the water back off. It was worth a try.

So Wanda makes the next suggestion: "Let's just put it in the closet and close the door and deal with it later."

Natasha scoffs. "Ignoring the problem will not make it go away!" she hisses. "Ignoring the problem has never made it go away!"

"We're only going to ignore it until everyone leaves," Wanda says. "And if something happens before then... Well, we'll have a house full of superheroes to take care of it."

Natasha just stares at her for a few seconds, but, upon reflection, she huffs and remarks, "Well, it could be fun, I guess. We haven't gotten the gang together for a fight since Thanos."

"See! Everybody wins!" Wanda insists. She's a genius!

"Why don't we tell Carol now, though?" Natasha asks. "She's our best friend – and, more importantly, she's half alien, and this feels like some sort of alien something."

"Because I don't want to detract from the party," Wanda says with a frown. "It's girl time. We're supposed to talk about stupid things like boys or cute girls or glorious battles or nail polish."

"I don't know," Natasha says with a playful grin, "an alien mystery-themed party sounds pretty cool to me."

"No!" Wanda hisses. "Not unless it... does something..."

They both look at the pink blob in the sink.

It does not do anything.

... For now.

"I'm gonna put it in the closet," Wanda says. "And we'll check it in the morning, and then nobody touches this closet until everyone is gone."

Natasha rolls her eyes. "You're ridiculous, babe," she says. "Just... don't touch it. I don't trust it."

"I'm way ahead of you," Wanda assures her.

The closet door opens itself, and, engulfed in a faint red light, the little pink ball levitates out of the sink and up to the highest shelf of the closet. Wanda looks over at her wife, an eyebrow raised, but Natasha is still looking at it with a frown. After a few moments, she grabs a towel off the shelf and throws it up until it's covering the ball.

"How's that?" Natasha asks.

"Perfect," Wanda replies. "No one has to know."

~~~

Wanda and Natasha had set an alarm for the morning, but Paprika, it seems, believes that she knows their schedule better than they do, because she walks across their faces half an hour or so before they'd planned to get up.

Wanda groans and starts to sit up, but Natasha wraps her arms around her and pulls her back down – nearly crushing their poor cat in the process before she makes herself comfortable behind Natasha's knees.

"Nat, babe," Wanda murmurs, "we should get up."

"Mm-mm," Natasha hums. "Not yet. Snuggle."

Wanda huffs a laugh. "We snuggled all night," she reminds her wife.

"And now we snuggle more." Natasha squeezes her tighter.

"We have things to do," Wanda reminds her.

"No things. Just snuggle."

Wanda heaves a sigh. "Okay, five more minutes of snuggles, and then we have stuff to do."

"M'kay," Natasha mumbles contentedly, nuzzling the nape of her wife's neck.

So Wanda closes her eyes once more and lets herself drift off into...

Shit.

Wanda sits up, so quickly that Natasha can't even try to fight back. "We need to check on the brain-looking thingy downstairs." She can't believe she forgot about that. She can't believe that hasn't been at the forefront of her mind all night.

Natasha groans. "I don't wanna," she whines.

"Then you can stay in bed," Wanda says, "but I'm going to go make sure the bathroom hasn't blown up."

Natasha groans once more, but, reluctantly, she sits up and rubs her eyes, so hard that it's almost surprising that they manage to stay in their sockets. "So sleepy," she mumbles.

"I know." Wanda leans in and presses a kiss to her cheek. "But if the pink brain thingy is still there and nothing's changed, then we can go take a nap on the couch together until Carol wakes up."

Natasha gives her a tired, somewhat crooked smile. "I like that idea."

So they sneak down the stairs, as quietly as they can so that they don't wake Carol up in the guest bedroom. (For Wanda, it's a very quiet journey. For Natasha, it's just a miracle that she doesn't fall asleep walking down the stairs.)

They make a beeline for the bathroom, and Wanda quickly closes the door behind them, just in case Carol wakes up and comes looking for them (or a place to pee).

"Ready?" Wanda asks, glancing back at her wife cautiously.

"Mm." Natasha rubs her eyes and covers her mouth as she yawns. "Yeah, I'm ready."

Wanda opens the closet door, and then immediately brings her hands up, ready to use her magic at a moment's notice. Fortunately, nothing jumps out at them as exceptionally wrong. This seems like a good sign.

"I'm gonna take the towel off," Wanda warns her wife. "Be ready."

"Mm-hmm." Natasha wraps her arms around her wife's waist from behind, resting her chin on her shoulder, and Wanda instinctively bends her knees to make it easier for her. "So ready," she mumbles.

So, with a bit of magic, the towel comes off.

It looks exactly like it did yesterday (except less wet).

Perfect.

"Meow?" There's a scratching against the door, and then the doorknob jiggles as Paprika tries and fails to open it.

The towel covers the ball once more. "I told you it'll be fine until tomorrow," Wanda says. (She'll admit that she wasn't sure of it at the time, but she's fairly certain now that she's right.)

"I still think this is a stupid idea," Natasha mutters.

Paprika meows again, and the door thumps softly as she smacks it.

"Close the closet so Pappy can come in, will you?" Natasha asks.

Wanda pushes the closet door closed, and Natasha lets go of her and opens the bathroom door.

"Oh my god!" she yelps, stumbling backward into her wife.

Wanda whips around, only to find Paprika outside the door, rubbing up against another one of these freaky brain things.

Wanda squeaks and picks the cat up as quickly as humanly (Pietro excluded) possible, hugging her to her chest. "No, no. no," she murmurs. "Don't touch the magic alien brains. That's not good for you."

Paprika rubs her head against Wanda's cheek, not a care in the world.

"Wanda, I don't know if you should be holding the cat that was touching the magic alien brain," Natasha says cautiously.

"If loving Paprika too much is what kills me, then so be it," Wanda replies.

They both look down at this new alien brain thing. That was not there two minutes ago. Wanda is almost certain of it. So where the hell did it come from?

"I don't think we should leave this until tomorrow," Natasha says.

Wanda sighs. "I just don't want to ruin the party," she says. "We've been trying to plan this thing out for, like, six months now. I don't want it to all fall apart because some random alien brain things keep showing up in our house."

"I feel like this is a really good reason for the party to fall apart, though," Natasha says. "Like, out of all of the reasons in the entire world for the party to fall apart, this is really high up there on the list of good ones."

Again, Wanda sighs. "If we see another one, then we'll do something about it. But I want this party. I need this party."

Natasha just looks at her for a few moments, a frown on her lips, until finally, she concedes, "Okay. But if we do see another one, we're telling Carol."

Wanda nods. They can do that.

"And if you see another one," Natasha adds, "you're telling me so that we can tell Carol. Don't you dare hide any of these alien brains from me just so we can have the party."

"I won't!" Wanda says defensively. "I would never hide an alien brain in our shared bathroom closet without the mutual consent of the bathroom owners!"

Natasha purses her lips, eyes narrowed, until finally, she cracks a smile. "Well, now that that's settled, put that brain up with the other brain and then meet me in the living room. You promised me snuggles, and I demand that I get them."

~~~

"How does it look?" Wanda asks, glancing between Natasha and Carol.

"I like it!" Carol says. "The pink and purple is adorable, by the way. You guys chose well."

"Personally," Natasha says, "I think there should be more Black Widow balloons."

Wanda rolls her eyes and throws the empty pack of uninflated balloons at her. "Be grateful that you even have your own balloons," she says. "Carol doesn't even have a licensing deal."

"And yet," Carol says, "there is still so much 'Captain Marvel' merchandise out there."

Wanda raises her brows. "Is there really?"

"You have no idea," Carol says. She reaches into her back pocket and pulls out her phone, feverishly tapping away at it. "You guys need to see Kamala's room – but don't tell her I showed you. She doesn't even know I took pictures."

Natasha tosses the balloon package aside. "Now this I need to see."

But, just as Carol turns her phone around to show them the picture, the doorbell rings. The three of them share a look – who the hell is ringing their doorbell this early? The party doesn't start until this afternoon – and Wanda excuses herself to go answer it.

She peeks through the window, and she can't help the smile that creeps up onto her face. She's okay with this. If anybody had to be here early, she's okay with it being these two.

She opens the door, and in an instant, little Love Gorrsdottir has her arms wrapped around Wanda's pajama-clad legs. She giggles and pats the little girl on the head, careful not to disturb her little braided pigtails.

"Hey, cutie," Wanda coos. "It's good to see you!"

"You, too!" Love says, beaming up at her.

Wanda raises her gaze to the other woman in the doorway, whom she greets with a less manically enthusiastic but equally as sincere smile. "Hey, Val."

"Hi, Wanda," Valkyrie says. "I'd give you a hug, but..." She looks down at Love, still holding her legs tight. "I think she has me covered."

Love just giggles at that.

"Sorry we're late," Valkyrie adds. "Love was adamant she wear her new light-up shoes, so we had to tear the house apart to find them."

"They were under the couch cushion," Love giggles.

Valkyrie nods. "They were under the couch cushion. I don't even want to know how they got there."

Wanda cocks her head to the side. "You're not late," she says, confused. "You're, like, two and a half hours early, actually."

Valkyrie furrows her brows. "Wait, seriously?"

"The party doesn't start until one."

"What time is it now?"

"10:30."

"Is it really?" Valkyrie asks, incredulous. "Man, I hate time zones."

Wanda just shakes her head to herself and laughs. "Well, come on in. It's just me, Nat, and Carol right now, but we can put out some drinks and some fruit to snack on."

Valkyrie's brows shoot up. "Carol's here?"

Wanda tries to hide her smirk. She should have known that would get a reaction. "She got here last night," she says. "She's been helping us set up."

"Oh!" Valkyrie blinks at that. "Okay. That's... Okay."

Wanda reaches down to take Love's hand, and the little girl finally stops hugging her legs. "C'mon, cutie," she murmurs. "Let's go see Nat and Auntie Carol."

Wanda leads them out to the kitchen, and Love is practically vibrating with excitement the whole way. The moment she lays eyes on Carol, who's standing next to the kitchen table to pet Paprika, she takes off running, barreling into her aunt and giving her the biggest of hugs – even bigger than the hug that she gave Wanda, and that's a big feat.

"Hey, Lovebug!" Carol reaches down and picks her up, and Love giggles. "I was hoping I'd get to see you today!"

"Uncle Thor didn't tell me you were coming!" Love gushes.

"Well, Uncle Thor's a big meanie head, then, huh?" Carol says teasingly, and Love just laughs.

Valkyrie walks around the other side of the table, and Paprika walks over to her, rubbing her head against the woman. Valkyrie scratches the nape of her neck, and Paprika leans into her, content.

"What's his name, again?" Valkyrie asks.

"Paprika," Wanda answers.

"And she's not a stinky boy," Natasha adds playfully.

Valkyrie huffs a laugh. "I should have guessed," she says. "You two would never let a boy live here with you."

"It would just bring down the whole vibe of the house," Natasha jokes.

Carol puts Love back down, and then it's Natasha's turn to say hello to her. That leaves Carol and Valkyrie in a conspicuously awkward position.

Except Carol seems to disagree. She walks around the table to her former love and pulls her into a hug, and Valkyrie rests her head on the Captain's shoulders, closing her eyes as she takes a slow, deep breath.

"It's good to see you, Val," Carol murmurs. "I've missed you."

"I've missed you, too," Valkyrie murmurs back. "How've you been?"

"Better, since you brought Monica back," Carol says. "You're a hero, Val. I don't know how you do it."

"What can I say?" Valkyrie says. "I'll do anything for the people I love. You know that."

"Yeah, I do," Carol agrees. "I really do."

Carol presses a kiss to Valkyrie's cheek before they separate. Wanda and Natasha share a knowing look. Their relationship definitely isn't over.

Love climbs up on a kitchen chair and holds her hands out to Paprika. The cat just stares at her, not a thought behind her eyes.

"Love, darling, don't climb on the furniture," Valkyrie admonishes, picking the girl up by the waist and putting her back on the floor.

"I want to pet it!" Love whines.

"I don't think she wants you to pet her right now," Valkyrie says gently.

"Give her a few minutes," Carol adds. "She's very friendly. Sometimes she just needs to adjust."

Paprika does not, in fact, need to adjust to new people. She likes people. She's just kind of stupid sometimes.

"Here," Natasha says, picking Paprika up and plopping her on the ground. "Just be gentle with her."

Love plops down beside the cat and starts stroking her back, not necessarily gently, but as gently as a young child usually pets a semi-delicate creature. The four adults exchange a look, but none of them deem this to be a problem in the making, so they move on.

"I was promised snacks," Valkyrie declares.

"And snacks you will get," Natasha replies, stepping toward the fridge.

The fridge opens itself, and within a minute, the counter is decorated in various fruits and vegetables, with the remnants of Carol's cupcakes from the night before sitting in the middle. Natasha looks over at her wife, who smiles. It's just easier this way.

"Oh, tonight is going to be so good," Valkyrie says with a grin, grabbing a handful of blueberries and shoving them in her mouth.

Wanda blinks at that. Personally, she cannot fathom the idea of eating multiple blueberries at the same time, but if that's how she wants to do it...

"We still have to finish decorating," Natasha reminds them. "And we need to alphabetize the name plates so people can find theirs, and we need to put the plates, napkins, and silverware out."

"And the fruit punch!" Wanda adds.

Natasha gestures to her. "And the drinks," she agrees. (Personally, Wannda feels the fruit punch is more important than all the other drinks combined.)

"Where are the drinks?" Valkyrie asks. "I'll help with that."

"Of course you will," Carol says teasingly.

"Uh, Auntie Val?" Love says uncertainly. "What's it doing?"

Wanda's mom instincts kick in (and yes, a cat mom is still a mom, thank you very much) and she pushes past the others and crouches down on the floor with Love and Paprika. Fortunately, it seems her panic was for nothing, because she's just heaving. That's nothing new. She's a cat: puking is her thing. It's what she gets for eating her own fur every day.

Wanda stands up and holds a hand down to help Love do the same. "It's okay," she assures the girl. "It's just a furball."

Valkyrie snorts. "You sure about that?"

Wanda shoots her a look. Of course it's just a fur ball. Or maybe it's not. Maybe it's just cat vomit. But that's fine. That's still just a normal cat thing. There is nothing to be worried about.

Unless...

Shit, could she be sick from rubbing against the alien thingy? She hopes not. She hopes more than anything that she's not. Maybe Natasha was right; maybe they should have taken care of that last night – or at least this morning; at least once Paprika got involved. She doesn't know if she'll be able to live with herself if something happens to her cat because she didn't act quickly enough.

Natasha, whose brain is fortunately still focused on the present, puts a hand on her shoulder and gently pulls her back. "Let's give her some space," she says, and her voice is a calming presence in Wanda's anxiety-filled mind. "She'll be okay in a minute – and don't worry, Love; it was nothing you did."

Love looks up at her with a small, relieved smile, and Wanda does the same. At least Natasha's thinking. At least Natasha knew to reassure the child (and her wife in the process.)

Paprika's silent heaves turn to gags and she fights to get it up – whatever it is. Wanda prays to whatever higher power may be listening that it's just a hairball or it's just a little bit of kitty vomit or just anything that doesn't mean her poor baby's sick. She can't be sick. The alien ball couldn't have gotten her sick. Because if it did, then it's very possible that there's nobody in the universe who would know how to make her better. There's nobody who specializes in both alien weirdness and earthly cats. It would be the end. It would–

Paprika finally coughs it up.

It's the pink fucking napkins.

Wanda squeaks, rushing to her poor cat's side. "Pappy, baby, what the heck?" She just puked up an entire pack of napkins! The entire pack! Plastic and all! How does a cat even do that?

"What the fuck?" Natasha whispers.

But Carol laughs. She just witnessed a cat vomit an entire pack of napkins, and she's laughing. What the hell is wrong with her?

She swoops in and picks up the napkins, and gives Paprika a pat on the head in the process. "I should have known it was you, you silly goose," she coos. "A flerken's always at the scene of the crime."

Wanda balks at her. "A flerken?"

"What do you mean, a flerken?" Natasha asks, just as dumbfounded as her wife. "That's a cat! That's a regular, ordinary cat!"

Carol furrows her brows, and she glances at Valkyrie, who just shrugs. "She's a flerken," she says slowly. "Paprika... is a flerken. Not actually a cat."

"She's a cat!" Natasha insists. "She's just a normal, stupid cat!"

Valkyrie just stares at her. "You seriously didn't know your cat was a flerken?"

"She's not a flerken!" Natasha insists.

Wanda reaches a hand out to her cat, and Paprika leans in to sniff it. "You're just a regular little kitty cat, right? Just a regular ol' kitty–"

Paprika heaves again, and a box of crayons comes up next. Wanda can't even imagine where in the world this cat found a box of crayons, but apparently, she did it.

"Holy shit," Natasha whispers, covering her mouth with her hand. "Paprika's a fucking flerken."

Love giggles. "She's so silly."

Wanda looks between Carol and Valkyrie incredulously. "How long have you guys known she was a flerken?"

Valkyrie puts her hands up in a mock surrender. "Don't look at me," she says. "I've only been calling it a flerken because Carol told me it was a flerken."

"I thought we all knew the whole time that she was a flerken," Carol says, confused. "The first time I came over, she ate one of your kitchen towels. You guys didn't...?"

"She ate one of our towels?" Natasha asks, gaping at her.

"I'm sure she puked it up eventually," Carol offers, like that makes it any better.

Paprika walks up to Wanda and rubs her thigh with her head, and Wanda very cautiously scratches the back of her neck. She's petting... a flerken. This cat that she's petting is an alien. And it eats things. (And sometimes people.) She's not really sure how to process that right now.

"You guys seriously didn't know?" Carol asks.

"No!" Natasha practically yells. "No, I did not know that we had an alien cat in our house, actually!"

"I love her," Love declares. She looks up at Valkyrie expectantly. "Can I pick up the alien cat?"

Valkyrie shrugs. "Ask Wanda and Natasha. It's their flerken, not mine."

Love looks at Wanda, still crouched on the floor. "Can I pick up your alien cat?"

"Uh..." Wanda stares at her... flerken... blankly. It's safe to let Love pick her up, right? It's still Paprika. Nothing's actually changed. She just... understands her cat better now.

She nods once. "Yeah. Yeah, you can pick her up."

Love beams and scoops Paprika up in her arms, her hands under the flerken's shoulders as she holds the cat to her chest.

"Support the butt, remember?" Carol says.

"Oh, yeah!" Love adjusts her grip so that one hand is under the cat's bottom while the other holds her back. Paprika's front paws drape over Love's shoulders, and she raises her head to rub against the girl's chin. Love just giggles and rubs the cat's head right back.

Love seems to have that handled, so Wanda stands back up to give her poor knees a break.

"Aww, someone likes you!" Carol coos. "Between Paprika and Goose, you're like the flerken whisperer!"

Love giggles once more, throwing her head back in excitement. "I want a flerken!" she declares.

Carol sucks in a breath through her teeth. "I don't know if Uncle Thor will let you get a flerken. They're a lot of work to take care of."

"But I want a flerken!" Love insists.

"You want a flerken until Uncle Thor makes you clean the litter box," Valkyrie says.

"Uncle Thor can clean the litter box," Love decides. "I'll just play with the flerken and hug the flerken and tuck the flerken in at night."

Wanda glances back at Natasha, who looks down at her with a look of utter amusement on her face. Wanda fights the urge to laugh at the little girl. Something tells her this isn't a deal that Thor is going to go for – and, as far as that last bit goes, probably not a deal that the flerken would go for, either.

"But flerkens don't like traveling," Carol tells her (which is a fat lie and anybody who knows her and Goose knows that). "And you and Uncle Thor go away a lot. You can't just leave a flerken alone for days and days."

Love pouts and buries her face in Paprika's fur. "I want a flerken," she mumbles.

"There's always Goose," Carol reminds her. "You love Goose."

"I never see Goose," Love whines. "I want a cat in New Asgard."

Valkyrie nudges Carol playfully. "Then I guess Auntie Carol just has to come by more often."

Carol looks over at her, and Valkyrie tosses her a playful wink. The Captain's brows shoot up, her face turning a faint shade of red, and Wanda and Nat share a smirk. They are so not broken up, no matter what they think.

Love looks up at her. "Auntie Carol, you need to move in with Auntie Val so I can play with Goose every day."

Carol sputters helplessly, and the other three adults in the room just burst out laughing. And she's right! Love is absolutely, one-hundred percent correct, in ways that she doesn't even know!

"Please?" Love asks. "Please, please please? Please?"

"Love, babe," Natasha says, fighting back another bout of laughter, "you can't just ask someone to move in with someone else."

"Why not?" Love asks. "I want to see Goose!"

"Kid's got a point," Valkyrie remarks.

Carol's eyes go wide, and she stares at her wordlessly.

Valkyrie just shrugs, nonchalant. "My house is always open for you," she says. "You know, when you're not off on your space adventures."

"Really?"

Valkyrie huffs a laugh. "No, not really," she says sarcastically. "Yes, really. I thought you knew that."

"Well, I..." Carol trails off uncertainly.

Natasha groans dramatically and rolls her eyes. "If you're not gonna kiss, the least you can do is move in."

Carol slaps her on the shoulder almost as though on instinct, and Natasha just throws her head back and laughs.

Valkyrie shrugs. "I'm good with either."

Carol's jaw literally drops, her mouth hanging open as she stares at her.

Valkyrie raises her brows. "What, too soon?"

"I..."

Valkyrie nods slowly. "Alright, too soon. Got it."

Wanda pats her on the back. "Just give her a few minutes."

"I think you broke her brain," Natasha adds.

Still, Carol just... stares.

Natasha lets out a long breath and puts her arm around her wife, resting her head on Wanda's shoulder. "Talk about a happy ending."

Wanda scoffs. "Our cat is an alien that can eat people whole, and you think this is a happy ending?"

"Mm." Natasha shrugs. "Yeah, but she's still cute. And she hasn't eaten anyone important yet. I call it a win."

Wanda just shakes her head to herself. She's so... her.

Natasha lifts her head just long enough to kiss her wife's cheek. "I love you, Wands."

Wanda smiles. "I love you, too, Natty."