A/N this one takes place during Thor (2011) when Loki sends the destroyer to New Mexico to kill Thor

Thor never thought this day would come.

Loki, his brother, his dearest friend, has turned on him.

Before him stands the Destroyer, its wrath turned up on him, but all he can see when he looks upon it is his brother's face.

Loki wants him dead.

There's no explanation; there's no reasoning.

Loki wants him dead.

And Thor is ready to give him what he wants.

He approaches the Destroyer, no weapon in his hands, no armor to defend himself. What chance would he stand against the Destroyer? He's no match for its power. His true foe is the man behind it. This fight is between him and his brother's rage. That is what he plans to battle, and, should it come to it, that is what he will surrender to.

"Brother," Thor says, "whatever I have done to wrong you, whatever I have done to lead you to this, I am truly sorry. But these people are innocent. Taking their lives will gain you nothing."

The Destroyer begins to glow, the fires inside it preparing to attack once again. Thor stops walking, looking up at the flames he knows to fear, yet he feels a strange wave of peace, of serenity as he comes to terms with this.

"So take mine," Thor says, "and end this."

There's a long pause, and he feels a glimmer of hope on his chest. Maybe he did it. Maybe he succeeded. Maybe his brother doesn't truly want to see him dead.

The panels of the Destroyer's head begin to close, its flaming weapon retracting. But Thor doesn't allow himself to feel that relief yet. Not until the Destroyer leaves will he be safe. Until Loki recalls his weapon and leaves him, he could be mere seconds from death, and he may not know it until it's upon him.

The clouds begin to swirl overhead, and a beam of light shoots down behind the Destroyer. It takes every ounce of self-control Thor has not to back away.

This is it, then.

This is how it ends.

The Bifrost disappears, and in its place stands Loki in all of his Asgardian glory. He wears his golden armor, his horned helmet. He's dressed as a king. He's dressed for a battle for that title.

But he's not here for that.

He holds his hands in front of him, picking at his fingers the way he does when he's nervous, the way he's always done when he's nervous, but his hands are shaking as he does it. His bloodshot eyes are wide with fear, glued to Thor's face and taking no time to look around at the world around them.

"Stand down," he says quietly, his voice shaking as much as he is.

The Destroyer powers down.

In spite of everything, in spite of the violence and the attempt on his life, seeing Loki right now, Thor feels... relieved. It's his brother. His brother is here. It's nice to see him again. Nice, but nerve-wracking, especially seeing his condition.

"Loki?" Thor says cautiously.

Loki slowly walks toward him, shaking with every step. Thor does the same, approaching his brother warily. It's a relief, seeing him again, but at the same time, Loki lied to him. He doubled down on this banishment to protect his unearned throne. He tried to kill him. It's hard to view this reunion with unbridled enthusiasm.

But as Loki comes closer, Thor can see the tears in his eyes, and his wariness is instantly replaced with worry. It's been clear since he learned that Loki lied that something is wrong, but he'd assumed his actions were born of malice. Now, with his brother on the brink of tears, he's not so sure about that.

"Loki?" Thor says again, just as cautious as before, but this time, it's not because he's wary of what Loki may do to him; he's concerned about what he's missed.

"Thor," Loki whispers, stopping just out of arm's reach.

"Loki, what's happened to you?" Thor asks. What's turned his brother against him? What's reduced him nearly to tears? Something big must have happened; something bigger than Thor's exile.

"Thor..." Loki shakes his head helplessly. "I don't know what to do."

"Loki—" Thor steps toward him, reaching out a hand to rest it on his shoulder, but Loki steps back, stumbling away.

"Don't," he says quickly. "Don't touch me."

Thor furrows his brows, his hand frozen out in front of him. "What?"

"Don't touch me," Loki whispers. "Don't—" He wraps his arms around himself, holding himself tight. "You don't want to touch me."

"What—"

"Come home," Loki pleads, his voice growing more frantic. "You need to come home. I don't know what I'm doing. It's all happening so fast. I wasn't ready — I didn't want—"

"Loki." Thor tries again to put his hands on his brother's shoulders, to calm him down.

"Don't touch me!" Loki yells, jumping back and nearly colliding with the Destroyer behind him.

Thor puts his hands up by his hand, making a show of keeping them away from his brother. "Loki, calm down," he says, firm but gentle in his speech. "What happened? Why are you acting like this?"

"I lied," Loki says, rushing his words. "I let the Frost Giants into Asgard. There is no truce with Jotunheim; no reason you cannot return home. Father isn't dead and Mother doesn't hate you. I don't want to be king. You need to come home."

Ordinarily, a single one of these things would result in an argument, but right now, Thor can't imagine reacting with anger. All he feels is concern. "Loki, what...?" He doesn't even know what he's trying to ask. He's too confused to form a coherent question. He just... doesn't understand.

"Please," Loki whispers. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to — it was never supposed to escalate. You were never supposed to leave. I can't do this. I wasn't ready. I don't know what I'm doing."

Thor has never, in the thousand years they've known each other, seen him like this. The panic in his eyes, the fear... It almost hurts to watch. He reaches out to lay his hand on Loki's arm—

"Stop it!" Loki pulls his arm back, stumbling away — and not just one or two steps; it's a few feet before he finally slows to a stop. "Don't touch me! You don't—" His voice cracks, and when he blinks, a tear trickles down his face. "You can't touch me," he whispers. "Please. I—" He looks down at his hands in front of him, scanning the backs of them, then the palms, then the backs one more time before he meets his brother's gaze again. "I'm a monster."

Thor can feel his heart shatter in his chest. He longs to reach out, to pull him into the tightest of hugs, but he can't. He can't risk scaring him off more. "You're not a monster," he says.

"I am," Loki insists. "You don't understand. I'm a monster."

"No, you are not," Thor says firmly. "You are not a monster. I don't care what you've done. I don't care about your tricks. I don't care about your lies. You are not a monster. You're my brother, and—"

"But I'm not," Loki says quietly. "I'm not your brother. I was never your brother."

Thor furrows his brows. "But you are," he says. "Of course you are."

Loki shakes his head. "I'm not." He falls to his knees, choking out a sob as he looks up at him. "I'm not your brother, Thor. I'm a monster. And nobody told me."

Thor sighs and crouches down. He would like nothing more than to move closer, to comfort him, but he can't. That may be what hurts most of all. His brother is suffering, and Thor can't do anything about it.

"Why do you think yourself a monster?" Thor asks.

"Because I am," Loki buries his head in his hands, muffling another sob. "I'm a monster. I'm a monster. I'm a monster." He repeats it over and over and over, interrupted only by his sobs.

Thor looks over his shoulder at his friends. He'd expected his new friends to be confused, but a part of him had hoped that his Asgardian friends might have an explanation for why he's acting this way. They don't.

He sighs and sits down cross-legged on the ground. He tries to keep his voice calm as he speaks. "Loki, you're scaring me," he says. "What happened? Why do you think yourself a monster?"

Loki stops uttering those words, though only because he's sobbing too much to continue.

Thor moves closer to him until they're only a foot or so apart. He could almost reach out and... but he can't. Loki won't let him. And he hates that.

"Loki, look at me," Thor says.

He doesn't.

"Loki," Thor repeats.

Nothing.

Thor reaches out, brushing the back of his hand against Loki's cheek. Loki slowly raises his head and another tear runs down his face — one Thor would do anything to brush away if he thought he could.

"Loki," he says quietly, "what happened while I was away?"

Loki shakes his head. "You'll hate me," he whispers.

"I won't hate you," Thor says. "I could never hate you."

"You say that now, but you don't know," Loki insists. "You don't know what I am."

"Yes, I do," Thor says. "You are my brother. There is nothing that could change that. Nothing you've done; nothing you've seen. You are my brother. And I love you."

"I'm not," Loki whispers. "See?"

Loki holds his hands out in front of him, and the Casket of Ancient Winters appears in them. Thor stifles his gasp. Loki has the Casket. He has it here, on Earth, out of the sanctuary of the Vault. What is he doing?

Slowly, subtly, Loki's skin begins to change. It changes color, from his usual sickly pale to a deep blue. It changes texture, from its usual smooth porousness to a ridged design. He can hear the gasps from his friends behind him. Loki's eyes flicker to look at them, and he knows his brother heard it, too.

"Loki," Thor says cautiously, "what are you doing?"

Loki shakes his head, his bright red eyes full of sorrow. "I've done nothing," he says. "This is what I am. This is what I've always been."

"No, it's not," Thor says quickly. "This is not you. The Casket must be—"

"The Casket is doing nothing but revealing the truth," Loki says. "This is what I am. I..." He looks down at himself helplessly. "I am Laufey's son."

Thor's mouth falls open, but no sound escapes.

Laufey's son.

He's...

No.

He's not.

He's not Laufey's son.

That doesn't even make sense.

He's the son of Odin and Frigga. They both are. They're brothers. They've always known—

"Father told me himself," Loki says. "And I was angry and I yelled and he..." He wipes his eyes with his sleeve, smearing his tears across his face. "I pushed him into the Odinsleep. Asgard was at its most fragile, and I..."

Thor lets out a long breath.

Wow.

Okay.

He's not entirely sure what to do right now.

He's only been gone a few days, and Asgard has already fallen apart. And it looks to be largely Loki's fault. Loki certainly seems to think it is. What does he do now? How I'd he supposed to proceed?

"Of all the lies you've told," Thor says slowly, "the fact that you are the King of Asgard...?" Was that just one of his many falsehoods? Does he really have the throne?

"I shouldn't be," Loki says. "I don't want to be. I tried to refuse, but there was so much pressure. Mother and the guards and Father was in the Odinsleep and I couldn't—"

"Loki," Thor tries to interrupt. It doesn't work.

"She wanted me to be king," Loki continues, his tone growing more frantic. His hands begin to shake again, and, with them, the Casket he holds. "She told me to make Father proud. That's all I wanted. I wanted him to be proud. I wanted to prove to him that I was worthy: that I was worthy of the throne; that I was worthy of his love; that I was worthy of my place in this family."

"You are," Thor says.

"But I'm not," Loki continues as though he never spoke. "I'm not worthy. I don't belong here. I don't belong anywhere."

"Loki, you—" Thor grabs the Casket from his brother's hands and tosses it aside. Loki's eyes go wide, but the Casket remains unharmed, and Loki's appearance slowly returns to normal. "Loki, stop it," he hisses. "I do not care whose blood runs through your veins. You are my brother. You've been a part of this family for a thousand years. That is where you belong. You need not prove anything to anyone."

Loki looks down at his hands, watching as they turn back to their normal hue. He looks up at Thor with tear-filled eyes. "You need to come home," he whispers. "I don't want to be king. I've made a mess of everything. I don't know what to do. You need to come home."

"Okay," Thor says quickly. "Okay, we can go home. If you are the new king, you can end my banishment—"

"You're unbanished," Loki interrupts. "Come home. Please. Come home"

"I will," Thor promises. "Of course I will. There is nothing I would rather do than go home."

Loki smiles hesitantly, hopefully. It looks strange when he's still so clearly broken inside. "You will?"

"Of course I will," Thor says again. He pushes himself to his feet and holds a hand down to help Loki do the same.

Loki takes his hand and stands up, and Thor pulls him into a hug before he can even think to step away. At first, Loki tenses in his arms. Then he melts into it, his own arms wrapped loosely around his brother's torso.

"Are you alright?" Thor asks. "That is what's most important to me."

"I've made such a mess," Loki mumbles. "I don't know what I'm doing. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"You have nothing to apologize for," Thor assures him.

"I tried to kill you."

... Right.

That might warrant an apology.

"It's alright," Thor says. It's not the first time. Perhaps the only time he's come close to succeeding, but that's beside the point.

"No, it's not," Loki mumbles. "I don't want to kill you. I don't know why I did that. I don't want you to die."

Thor feels a small smile creeping up on his lips in spite of himself. "Alright, allow me to propose a deal: you do not try to kill me again, and I will forgive you and return to Asgard with you."

Loki nods, his head still resting against his brother's chest.

"Just give me a moment to say goodbye to my new friends, and we can be on our way," Thor says. He'd begun to think he'd be spending the rest of their lives with these humans. He can't just disappear now. Not without saying goodbye.

But Loki shakes his head, lifting it from Thor's chest to look up at him. "There's no time," he says. "I made a mistake. A bigger mistake than any other. It all took me by storm. I was so caught up in it, I wasn't thinking, I didn't know—"

"Take a breath," Thor says. "What did you do?"

"I—" Loki swallows hard. "I went back to Jotunheim. I made a deal with Laufey."

Thor feels his breath catch in his throat, but he does his best not to react. Not until he knows what Loki did.

"I was going to kill him," Loki says. "I wanted to prove to Father that he means nothing to me; that I'm not one of them; that I'm not one of those monsters."

"Do you know the chaos that will cause?" Thor asks. "For the King of Asgard to murder the ruler of another realm, especially without just cause?"

"I would have had cause," Loki says. "I had a plan. I did. But I can't — I don't want—"

"Then we will fix it," Thor says. "Do you understand me? We will fix your mistakes and my own. When Father awakes, he will have nothing but pride for us both. You will have nothing left to prove."

Loki gives him a small smile. "Thank you," he whispers. "Thank you."