It took me a little while to get back to sleep, I kept tossing and turning, the sheets feeling too hot and then too cold. Then the moonlight fell on my face and I had to roll over, only to come to face to face with a wall.

Eventually, I sat up and I carefully walked between everyone's mattresses, trying to not disturb them. I walked into the kitchen and checked over my shoulder to make sure no one was watching me before I pulled open the fridge and grabbed out a bottle of cold water. I searched through all of the cupboards as quietly as I could before I found a glass, setting it down on the bench and filling it with the cold water from the bottle. I slowly drank the water and rested against the kitchen bench, thinking over my dream again.

I didn't think it was something my brain had made, it felt too real. All of my other nightmares had involved me feeling... panicked, but this one, I was oddly calm. It was like... like it wasn't even me in the dream. But I knew it was me, and I knew that was a memory. The thought of me killing two innocent people, one of them a child, without any remorse, it made me feel horrible.

I drank the rest of my water and gently placed my cup in the sink, trying to not make any noise. I walked back towards the beds, everyone still there and asleep, except for Loki. I sat back down on my bed and looked down at my bracelets, spinning them around slowly. I sighed heavily and looked out the window, moon still bright in the sky. I lay back down on the mattress and looked up at the ceiling, knowing I wasn't going to get to sleep easily. I rolled onto my side, looking at everyone else sleeping peacefully, and after a little while I felt myself slowly drifting off.

I was in my HYDRA, in a another white tiled room, lying flat on the familiar experimenting bench. The usual thick silver bands were clasped around my biceps and forearm. .I was dressed in only a black sports bra and black bike pants, which is what I normally wore underneath my horrible-coloured jumpsuit. I could feel the cold metal of the bench against my bare back and every time I moved, it sent shivers down my spine

That was when I knew they were experimenting on me.

The door to the experimenting room opened and I looked over fearfully to see the same scientist that experimented on me every time, Zola. He walked towards me in his usual beige coloured suit with slicked back hair and red bow tie. I tried to struggle out of my bonds but he just chuckled as he moved over to a table displaying a number of needles, scalpels, and other surgery equipment. He picked up one big needle that was already half-filled with some sort of purple liquid. He flicked it a couple of times before making his way over to me.

"Let's see if it works this time." He said in his chilling voice, holding up the needle as he made his way over to me. I struggled even more, desperate to try and get out of the bonds, but they didn't budge. .

"What are you going to do to me?" My eyes were wide with fear and my heart was pounding hard against my chest. He grabbed my shoulder and lined the needle up with my arm.

"This is just a simple sedative." He smirked. "What comes next is what you won't like." He jabbed the needle into my arm and I let out a pained whimper, trying to hold back my cries as I knew any HYDRA agent hated it. Zola pushed down on the needle and I felt the liquid squeeze into my arm. I squeezed my eyes shut, wincing as I tried to hold back my tears. Within seconds, I could feel my whole body be over-taken by painful tingles and I lost control of my body. I lay limply on the table as Zola pushed my head to the side, exposing my neck. He picked up something from the table next to the table I was on and I strained my eyes to look at it to see that it was a little silver disk. He lowered it down and I felt the cool metal meet my skin.

"What is that?" I managed to ask, my tongue loose.

"So many questions." Zola smirked, looking down at me and pulling the metal disk away from my skin. "This is just something to make sure you don't question our orders again." He picked up a scalpel from the table next to me and flicked it onto the longest blade before digging it into my neck. This time I couldn't help but let out a scream of pain, the scalpel digging hard into my neck. I tried to move away from it, but the sedative held me down. Zola kept digging into my neck and I felt him place the silver risk into the open wound, pain flaring through my body. I thrashed around, desperate to escape. I tried to pull up my fire to burn through the bonds, but it just resulted in a sharp stabbing in my head and stomach. Tears streamed down my face and through my blurry vision, I saw Zola pull back from my neck, holding the silver pad with the button in his hand. He pressed the button and immediately, my whole body became still, the coolness of the metal disk in my neck seeping through my body until everything turned numb and I lost control of everything.

"подними мое пламя". Zola spoke in Russian, but my brain immediately translated it.

"Rise my flame."

"EMILY!" A voice yelled and I thrashed around in the hands holding me down. My heart was a pounding frenzy against my chest and I was screaming loudly, my throat tight as tears rolled down my face. I kicked out at the people holding me down and there were several pained intakes of air, but the hands didn't move.

"Someone get some water!" A voice yelled and a couple of seconds later, water was dumped onto my head and I instantly began coughing and spluttering, water in my eyes as I blinked rapidly. The hands holding me down loosened and I sat up, coughing up water that had landed in my mouth. I swept the hair out of my eyes and blinked rapidly as I made out blurry shapes all around me. I scrambled backwards, my head spinning and heart pounding, only for my back to hit a wall.

"Emily." A voice cut through my buzzing thoughts. "It's just us." I coughed again and something soft began to rub against my face. I flinched away from it and it stopped. I kept blinking the water and tears out of my eyes, everything slowly coming into focus. I saw Steve crouching down next to me and Pepper on the other side, a towel in her hands. Wanda was holding a bucket of water with Bruce next to her. Tony was just behind Steve, a worried frown on his face with Nat standing a little way off, her arms crossed with a similar frown to Tony. Thor's snores still filled the room, oddly comforting. Loki was nowhere to be seen.

"You okay kiddo?" Tony asked as Steve leant back away from me. I swallowed thickly and hesitantly reached up to touch the back of my neck, only for my fingers to touch metal and a zap to go through my whole body. I winced and sucked in a painful gasp of air, Tony's frown furrowing even more. So what I had dreamt was real. Maybe HYDRA had done something similar to brainwashing me like Bucky had said.

"What was that?" Wanda asked hesitantly and I slowly reached up to touch the piece of metal again, only for the same zap to go through my body. Tony crouched down next to Steve and my eyes darted to him.

"Can I have a look?" He asked softly and I nodded, swallowing tightly as I swept my hair away from my neck. Tony crept closer and pulled his pair of glasses with the weird blue lenses out of his back pocket. As he slid them on, the lenses flashed blue and he looked at my neck.

"There is a metal disk at the base of your skull." He said after the first couple of seconds. "Your skin has half-grown over it. I can't get a full scan of it though, there is too much skin covering it, and the skin growth isn't natural either." He took off the glasses and slid them back into his pocket. "I have equipment from the Tower that could scan it completely, but it would take time to set it up, and space too."

"It's fine." I shook my head, my voice slightly croaky from my screaming. Wanda brought over Wa glass of water and handed it to me. I gave her a small smile and brought my hair back over my shoulder, hiding the metal disk again.

"Do you know what the disk does?" Steve asked me carefully and I looked over at him before looking down at my bracelets pausing, rethinking over what Zola had said in my dream.

"I think..." I paused, biting my lip nervously. "I think they might be able to control me through it." My brain flashed with the memory of the numb feeling that overtook my body, almost paralyzing me.

"Like control your mind?" Steve asked, clearly knowing what HYDRA had done to Bucky with the brainwashing, judging by the darkening of his tone. I nodded, not trusting my voice to come out steady. I swallowed another mouthful of water, the mood in the room dropping.

"But we're far away from them." Wanda pointed out, hopefully. "They shouldn't be able to control you from where ever they are."

"Hopefully not." Tony said, though his tone was not convinced.

"Another nightmare?" A voice spoke from the stairs and we all looked over to see Clint walking down, looking much more refreshed than last time. Nat nodded and Clint gave me a reassuring smile.

"Pancakes are on me this morning." He added, walking down towards the kitchen. "Anyone who wants to help is welcome to." That seemed to lighten up the mood a little bit more and slowly, everyone began to move away from me.

"Let me know if that disk gives you any more trouble." Tony told me and I nodded before he walked over to his bag, picked it up and walked off to have a shower. Steve gave me a comforting smile before he too walked over to his bag, pulling out a pair of running shoes and pulling them on. Wanda gently took the empty glass from my hand and it disappeared in thin air.

"If I could help you feel better," she said softly, "I would, but I'm afraid that is more Loki's forte."

"Where is Loki?" I asked softly, my eyes darting again to his bed next to Thor, who was still sleeping.

"I'm not sure." She replied, following my gaze. "He disappeared after about an hour of us all going to sleep. He walked outside and teleported somewhere." I nodded and looked out the window to see the sun slowly appearing over the top of the pine trees. It was quite a beautiful sight and I realized that I hadn't actually looked properly trees for quite a long time.

"I'm going to go for a walk." I said softly, looking back at Wanda. She seemed slightly hesitant but nodded and stood up, giving me a small smile before she walked into the kitchen with Clint. I pulled my overnight bag onto my crossed legs and pulled out my joggers and a pair of socks, pulling them on. I looked back at everyone hanging around the kitchen before I slipped out the front door. I might see Steve out running, but to be honest, I kind of just wanted to be alone.

It was colder than I expected, the cool but refreshing air causing my cheeks and nose to tingle. I breathed in deeply and after hesitating for a little bit, I slowly unclipped my bracelets and tucked them into my pocket. I struggled to keep the sparks beginning to appear over my skin at a low enough temperature at first so they didn't burn my clothes, but I eventually got there. My sparks weren't hot enough to burn my clothes but were warm enough to keep my body at a comfortable temperature against the cold. I stood there, staring down at the sparks and smiled faintly as I thought how far I had come within the week I had been with the Avengers and the two weeks I had spent at Asguard. I slowly looked up from my arms and to the sun slowly rising over the treetops.

I spotted a trail leading into the forest and I blew a warm breath into my hand before I began to walk to it at a slow pace. As I walked, I took in deep breaths of the cool air, trying to not only refresh myself but to push all thoughts of my nightmares out of my head. The one about the child wasn't as fresh as the one I just had, but it was still lingering there.

Trees soon surrounded me on both sides and Itwisted my neck to look at how tall they were. As the sun rose over them, theycreated beautiful dappled patterns over the pine needle-covered ground. Islowly started off a jog, my tight muscles needing to move and release the pent-upenergy from my nightmare. As I jogged, I took in deep breaths, breathing in thefresh air. I kept jogging until I reached a fallen tree, where I sat down,breathing heavily as I looked down at my now blazing hands. I bent down to fixup my shoelaces when I heard the sound of heavy footsteps. I immediatelystraightened and I was on my feet before I could even think. The footstepsslowly came closer and I held my flaming hands out, drawing up more of my powerbefore I took a deep breath and threw a ball of flame in the direction of wherethe footsteps were coming from, and the attacker tumbled backwards with a yellbefore silence filled the air