"Oh, Celestiaaaaa!" I scream down the hallway, poking my head out my bedroom door.

When I get no answer, I begin trotting up and down corridors, screeching her name to my heart's content. A grey unicorn guard comes up to me. "Ms Assface," he starts, but I interrupt him.

"DON'T YOU FLUCKING DARE CALL ME BY MY LAST NAME, OK! YOU KNOW HOW SENSITIVE I AM!" I yell into his face. His golden helmet falls off, clattering on the ground.

He curls up into a ball, rocking back and forth, tears flowing comically from his eyes as he sucks his hoof. "Waaaa! I want my mommy!" He bellows.

"Me too!" I cry, joining him on the floor, "And I want my iPad!"

The two white pegasus guards standing outside a large, yellow door both look at us as we cry. "What's an iPad?" The grey unicorn wails as we both start to roll in front of the pegasus guards, my eyes derping. They back away slowly.

"Would you two mind closing your mouths?" We both hear a muffled yell from behind the door we are crying in front of.

I recognise the voice instantly. "Lerki!" I screech.

"It's Loki! And no, I'm not in here!" He yells.

I burst into tears again, grabbing the grey unicorn guard. I have him locked in a very tight hug, sobbing into his neck. "Loki isn't here!" I cry, shaking him by the shoulders,

The guard's eyes dart around. It doesn't look like I plan on letting go anytime soon. All of a sudden, Princess Celestia comes trotting towards us.

"Rosie Burrito Chuckito Assface," she starts, keeping a straight face.

"AAAAAAH!" I scream and dive into the floor, instantly regretting it because I bashed my nose on the marble.

Celestia rolls her eyes and clears her throat as I rub my now bruised nose. "Rosie. Remember the job you had?" She asks me.

"Well, yes, but I can't find Loki," I reply, flapping my wings so I can hover weightlessly.

The Princess face-hoofs and opens the doors behind me, beckoning for me to follow inside. The room is rectangular, with bronze walls and flooring with detailed patterns carved into it. In the very centre, however, is a glass cell.

It looks more like a fishbowl to me, with its' circular shape, being situated in the middle of the room. Unnaturally white light glows from above the cell like an incubator, a single bench at the side of the prison.
Beside the cell looks like a control box of some sort. (Where'd Equestria even get this technology?) And, who might be on that bench? Why, Loki!

"Loki!" I cry, galloping up to the glass and smooshing my face against it, "I came back for you!"

Loki folds his arms. No cuffs this time. But he doesn't look the least bit happy. And why is he wearing what looks to be green battle armour? Geez, those clothes look really thick, thank Celestia I don't have to wear them. Or anything, for that matter.

"This prison isn't very hospitable," he complains to Celestia, totally ignoring me, "At least in Asgard, I'd get a book or something."

My eyes dart over the cell. "And where the hell is he supposed to poop?" I turn to the princess.

"Silence, prisoner!" Celestia shouts, attempting to be intimidating. Meanwhile, she completely ignores me.

"You think I'm afraid of you?" Loki teases, getting up and walking over to the glass in front of Celestia. "How could I be so afraid you? I've seen far more threatening things than a multicoloured horse."

Princess Celestia scowls, "Well, just for that, you're not getting pop tarts for desert!"

Loki's face falls, "Uh-What?"

With that, Celestia turns to exit the room, but not before magically forming a scroll with her magic and giving it to me. "Follow these instructions, Rosie, and you'll be fine. Don't fail me, like all the other times."

I nod and salute her, before clumsily fiddling with the letter still hovering in the air. This is what I get for not having opposable thumbs. The paper drops to the ground.

"Heheheh... oops?" I shrug, wincing when I get a disapproving look from the alicorn.

"Just don't let him out," she says over her shoulder, leaving the room and slamming the doors behind her.

"Oh," I mumble, "Okay! I'll, uh... I'll do that," I call at the doors, before turning to Loki and sighing. "Soooo...."

"Listen, I don't like you and you don't like me," Loki says, pointing at me.

"I like you," I reply, flapping up so I'm eye level to Loki, but still on the other side of the glass.

His face wavers for a second. "Really? What is it you like about me, is it my- Ahem, anyway, I'm only in here for the next ten centuries, please don't make it painful."

"Painful as what?" I cock my head. Hehe. Cock.

"As, say... giving birth to an eight legged horse," he shrugs.

"That's very specific... wait, you know that that feels like?" I grin.

"Y-n-no," he shakes his head slightly.

I snicker, trying to contain my laughter but it just won't go down. Loki glares at me, which only makes me spin into a giggling fit. Within the next minute, I'm roaring with laughter and rolling around in the floor, punching it. "You... you... HAHAHAHA! YOU GAVE BIRTH TO AN EIGHT LEGGED HORSE!" I screech between laughs.

"I did not!" Loki retorts, folding his arms and looking away.

"You actually legit flucked with a horse!" I roar.

"I have told you already, you ignorant fool! I did not!" Loki raises his voice, banging a fist on the glass.

The loud noise echoes throughout the room. I stop laughing and freeze. Then I start to snicker again. "What's his name? Octohorse?" I ask mockingly.

"It's Sleipnir!" He shouts, before realising what he just did. I erupt in laughter again.

"You admit it!" I holler, dancing around the room, "You grew a vagina!" I shake my tail at him.

"I swear on Odin's grave, the second I get out of here, I will split your skull and throw you at Hela's mercy," Loki grumbles and I back off, literally.

"Uh... okay, but I have no idea who this 'Hela' character is. Are they nice?" I inquire, perking up.

"What? No!" Loki growls, turning away and sitting back down on the bench.

I sit on the floor and stare at him until suddenly, I see something brown and fluffy jerk behind me, catching my eye. Not realising it's my tail, I begin to spin around in circles, chasing after it. "I'm gonna getcha!" I mutter, spinning faster and faster and faster.

I spin faster and faster around the room, moving and stumbling this way and that until I smack into the glass cell. I fall onto my back, groaning in pain. Loki chuckles in amusement. I rub my head, shooting a glare at him. "Shut up, octohorse boy!" I shout, pointing at him.

"Then stop giving me reasons to laugh at your mortal-like antics," Loki replies, crossing one leg over the other.

I roll my eyes and sit back down again, poking my tongue out. "Sooo," I sigh, tongue still out, "What do you do in Ass Guard? Do you guard your asses?"

"It's called Asgard. And we are more superior to you Equestrians," Loki answers coldly.

"Which is why you're my prisoner," I smirk and he scowls at me.

"And what a nice prison this is," Loki comments sarcastically. "You wouldn't even give me anything to entertain myself with."

"You could just stand around and be sexy?" I suggest.

Loki looks at me, bewildered. "What in the nine realms? You think I'm... aesthetically pleasing?"

Yes. I blush profusely. "Wh- No!" I cross my arms and turn my nose up. "You could always poop in the corner," I say, changing the subject.

He curls his lip up at me. "Your people may do that, but Asgardians certainly don't."

I ignore him and open the scroll with my teeth to attempt to read the letter. My eyes widen at the first line;

Rosie Burrito Chucktio Assface,

"RAAAAAAWR!" I screech, flipping the letter upwards in rage. "DON'T CALL ME BY MY FULL NAME!" I scream at the paper.

"And I thought I had anger management issues," Loki mumbles.

"WHAT?" I shout in Loki's direction.

He holds his hands up in surrender. "Nothing, nothing," he replies nonchalantly, "Calm down and read your little letter." Loki stands up and stalks toward me.

I do as he says, trotting to the letter that fluttered down to the ground after I threw it. I lick the first line so the ink smudges and it doesn't have my full name on it. Then I squint at the page. "L... Looe... Loooe-kieee," I sound out the first word, "Loki."

I'm not really the best at reading, nobody ever taught me how. School dropout. But I do know how to spell my full name, and I can read that with ease. Unfortunately, that only helps when someone wants to sell you a burrito or when someone calls you an assface on paper.

"Loki what?" Says the guy in question, stepping towards me.

"Uh..." I say with shifty eyes, "It says, uh...."

"What? What does it say?" Loki inquires, getting closer to the glass. "Actually read it, don't look around suspiciously."

I sigh in defeat. "I don't know what it says," I answer in shame, my ears flattening as I close my eyes. "I... I can't read."

"You're illiterate?" For the first time ever, Loki's voice softens. I answer with a nod. "Here, give it to me," he instructs, his voice hardening back to its' normal tone. I flap my wings so I'm now eye level with him, I press the letter against the glass and Loki begins to read aloud. I really hope I can trust him on this one. "Number one, Loki is not allowed out of his cell unless granted by Princess Celestia."
He rolls his eyes, "Hardly seems fair," he comments.

"Continue, continue!" I half beg,

Loki's eyes flick on me for a second, before going back to the letter. "Two. Do not go into the cell under any circumstances," he continues, "Three. Control box is in corner behind the cell. Red button releases knock out gas..." Loki trails off, "WOAH, nope. No no no, that is not what it says at all."

I raise an eyebrow. "You're lying," I say, pulling the letter away. "I can read this just fine now."

"Oh yes? Prove it," Loki challenges.

I squint at the paper and find number three on the list. "Red button releases knock out gas," I pick up where he left off, "F-oo... Food... in... c... cafet...cafetraka. P-la-ck... pla-ke food in cell w-h-en p-... prise... pres-own-er is... k... k-nocked o-u-t." It takes me more than ten minutes, but I finally decode the sentence. "Place for in cell when prisoner is knocked out!"
I look up at him and smirk. "Looks like you're gonna have to be knocked out everyday." Loki scowls, turning to sits back down on the bench. I give up on the letter and sit down as well. "So..." I say, looking for something to say, "What you in for?"

"None of your concern," Loki growls, turning around.

"Well, this was interesting," I sigh, standing up and trotting away, "Really. But I gotta go."

"Where are you going?" Loki asks.

"None of your concern," I grin cheekily and exit the large doors, making a loud *BANG* when the doors closed.

The real reason? I'm off to the cafeteria to find me some chocolate pudding. Loki was boring me.

🍍🍍🍍🍍

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Stay happy.

~Amazing_Burrito_Mare