This is a little bit late. My bad.
***Trigger warnings for mentions of suicide and self harm.***

Start the song. It's Come Down by Sylvan Esso.

To say Tatum and Jay were surprised when Tyler practically catapulted himself through the front door on his mad dash for the stairs, calling to Tatum, "Is Zack in his office?" despite not really waiting for a response, would be a massive understatement.

"He-yeah?" She called back, clearly still in the middle of feeding P breakfast while Jay ate beside them, proving that Tyler really hadn't been gone long at all. "Is everything-"

Tyler didn't hear the rest of her question, turning the corner into Zack's office and immediately entering through the open door. His brother's eyebrows raised in surprise over the rim of the coffee mug he was currently drinking from, clearly not expecting his disheveled older brother to come barging into his office, out of breath and too anxious to sit down.

Zack set his cup down on the desk, sighing as he stood up and pushed his chair in calmly as he anticipated, "I'm guessing you'll explain in the car?"

"You're going to think I'm an idiot and that I'm doing something really dumb, but I just need you to trust me enough to listen and help before you say anything or get mad," Tyler insisted breathlessly, too anxious about going to work while Josh was unsafe to have the presence of mind to be anxious about what Zack would think when he heard what Tyler had been doing for the past couple months.

Zack studied Tyler with a diluted version of the same worry and barely concealed disapproval as his father had shown him when he'd first told him he was thinking of dropping out of law school. "Is this something I'm doing as your brother or as a lawyer?"

There was a lump forming in Tyler's throat that was difficult to swallow, but he tried his best before quietly responding, "I'm asking you as my brother to help me by being someone's lawyer. Just...just because I don't really know how else to keep him safe. Zack, you're going to kill me, but I really just need you to do this for me. If you really really don't want to, I can ask Maddy, but-"

"Whose lawyer?" Zack asked simply, blunt and to the point as always. When Tyler's face drained of colour and his tongue turned to lead, the worry and disapproval on his brother's face became more apparent. "First name and last name, or I'm not leaving this room. You can explain to me how you know them and what's going on in the car, but I'm not agreeing to this if I don't know who I'm doing this for."

Tyler felt like his chest was going to explode, and the world seemed to be moving in slow motion. He glanced anxiously at the door, wishing for only a millisecond that Tatum was in here too before he remembered that she wasn't really on his side with Tyler even just talking to Josh as friends. She wasn't going to be happy to find out that Josh was his boyfriend or that Tyler was now asking Zack to get involved. A familiar sense of helplessness washed over Tyler. Once again, he was in a position of advocating and caring for someone he had no idea how to do those things for, only this time, he'd signed himself up for it while blissfully unaware of how unprepared he was to carry out those responsibilities outside of the prison walls.

"Tyler?" Zack sounded more worried than anything now, taking a step to remove the barrier of the desk between the two of them as he anxiously prepared himself to have to figure out how to diffuse an anxiety attack if necessary.

Tears were forming in Tyler's eyes as he finally forced himself to admit, "I need you to help Josh Dun."

Zack stopped on his tracks, blinking as if he'd just misheard what Tyler had said before asking, "Josh Dun? Josh Dun? Josh Dun as in...the Josh Dun? The kid who lit the Birchwood fire, pled guilty against the counsel of his lawyer, and received a life sentence as a little kid? That Josh Dun?"

Tyler's arms were wrapped around himself as if they would somehow protect him from the potential fallout of this situation. He nodded slightly. "Yes," he whispered.

"Tyler-" Just from his tone, Tyler knew Zack was about to turn him down. Zack was about to give him a one-man intervention about talking to convicts before sending him to work, and the urgency to keep Josh safe won out.

"He had a severe PTSD episode last night and hurt himself. He should be on suicide watch, but it's too crowded for people in that block to not have a cellmate right now, and he can't have one, so they just took him off and sent him back to his cell like normal. He's not safe in there, Zack. He won't sleep because he's afraid of having another flashback, he's already attempted suicide sixteen times since he was arrested, and he self harms without even knowing he's doing it when he's like this. They don't have a female therapist in the prison at all-which is the only kind he can have. I just-They can't just send him back to his cell like that, right? There has to be-" Tyler's anxiety attack was starting to leak through as he spoke, his mind finally having the space to process how terrifying it had been to see Josh in the state he was in last night now that Tyler wasn't trying to mediate a family dispute or hold Josh together for a second.

"That's negligence, at least. He could sue the prison for a lot of different things if he really wanted to. There are a lot of things prisons do that they shouldn't, especially for-profit prisons, which honestly are a crime in and of themselves, but they rely on incarcerated people not having the knowledge, means, or social status to do anything about it," Zack replied. He stared at the carpet for a moment before letting out a sigh, his eyes then going to Tyler as he stated, "Give me two minutes. I'll meet you in the car. Don't tell Tatum."

It took Tyler a moment to process those words, and even longer to realize that they hadn't been a rejection. The smile that spread across his face was almost painful. "Wait, are you serious?"

Zack shrugged. "Dad was always pissed with how that kid's case turned out. He always wished he could've done something for him after he saw how badly the legal system fucked him over. If he's still getting fucked, I guess now's as good a time as any."

Tyler froze. "You're not telling Dad though, right?"

Zack smirked slightly as he picked his briefcase up and opened it, switching out the papers inside with others he had inside of his desk. "No, Tyler. I'm not going to tattle on you to Dad. I'm fully capable of handling this on my own." He shut his briefcase and locked it shut before telling Tyler matter-of-factly, "But if you ever find yourself looking for a fucking shark who's willing to take on Dun's case pro-bono when he's up for appeal, you might want to consider telling Dad yourself. You want Dad to stop badgering you about going back to law school? Let him know you can put this case into his hands so he can settle it for good. Hell, let him talk to Dun for five minutes, and you'll be Dad's best friend."

Discomfort surfaced inside of Tyler immediately. "I don't really think I'm interested in using Josh as a pawn to improve my relationship with dad," he stated honestly, albeit restrainedly.

Zack shrugged. "Your choice, dude, but he's your fucking golden ticket back into Dad's good graces."

Not really having the time or energy to explain to his younger brother why he'd rather be in Josh's good graces than their dad's, Tyler simply replied, "I'll meet you in the car," before retreating back down the stairs and nearer to seeing Josh again.

Tyler had barely made it to the base of the stairs before Tatum's head popped out of the kitchen doorway, her concern not even remotely concealed. "Hey, Ty, are you okay?"

He nodded, forcing himself to not look as panicked as he felt as he told her, "Yeah, I'm good. Sorry for busting down your door. I just needed to talk to Zack."

At first, she nodded too, looking sympathetic, but then her eyes narrowed slightly. "About what?" She inquired carefully, clearly seeing right through him.

Tyler had learned a while ago that it was hard to lie when you were one of the only non-lawyers in a family of lawyers, and it wasn't really that hard to see why his parents were so hellbent on getting Tatum into law school. Even just the way she looked at people she suspected of being guilty of something was enough to land somebody a life sentence. Tyler hadn't even said anything yet, but she was already giving him one of those looks.

It was a living miracle that Zack came down the stairs when he did, telling Tatum in his usual monotone voice, "Everything's confidential for now, Tatum. Sorry. I'll tell you about it if the client actually wants me to represent them and gives consent for me to talk to you about them. Until then, we can't really tell you anything."

Tyler hoped he never learned to lie that fluidly-or to at least twist reality that evasively-when he was speaking to Josh. Maybe it was a little late for that though, given how they'd met. He was never doing that to Josh again though, and he knew that for sure.

Tatum looked her husband over for a moment before seeming to relax slightly. The loss of tension in her shoulders was what made Tyler so surprised when the next words out of her mouth were, "Oh, so Tyler told you about Josh. That makes sense."

Zack's eyebrows raised like they had this morning. He relaxed slightly too though. "You know?"

"I do. How much do you know?" Tatum questioned curiously.

"Not as much as you, but I'm filling him in on the way because this is an emergency, remember?" Tyler pressed anxiously.

Zack snapped back to attention then, heading to the mud room to pull his shoes and coat on as Tatum asked Tyler worriedly, "What kind of emergency?"

"Mental health and prison negligence," Tyler informed her, waiting for her to lecture him about taking on other people's problems or talking to strangers or about how people with mental health issues could be unpredictable or something along those lines.

Instead, Tatum asked softly, "Is he in a facility where I can send him food?"

Tyler had to swallow down the lump that formed in his throat at the sound of Tatum offering up her favourite form of comfort to Josh without hesitation. "I don't think so," he replied meekly.

Tatum sighed, looking around for a moment before telling him, "Give me one second."

She disappeared upstairs, not coming back down for a couple minutes. Tyler and Zack spent that time waiting by the front door, Zack impatiently and Tyler both anxiously and curiously. When Tatum did come down, she handed Tyler a manilla folder from Zack's office, the metal part having been removed carefully.

"What is this?" Tyler asked, opening the folder to peek inside.

Tatum smacked his hand though. "You can look through it with Josh while Zack fixes whatever you need him to fix. It's just a little something to brighten his day a little bit. He can keep everything in there when you leave."

A grateful smile tugged at Tyler's lips as he told her, "Thank you, Tatum."

She hugged him tightly, reminding him softly, "I love you. I want you to be happy. Do what you've gotta do, okay? And call me if you need me. I'm here for you. Always."

Before Tyler could respond, Zack's voice came from the mud room saying, "Okay, yeah, now we really need to get in the car so I can know what the fuck is going on."

Tatum laughed at that despite Tyler's face flushing with anxiety at the words. She patted Tyler's back before releasing him. "We need to keep a closer eye on this one, but I think he's going to be okay," she reassured her husband.

Tyler smiled, more to ease his nerves than anything, as he left the safety of Tatum in favour of following Zack out to the car. Zack held his hand out for Tyler's keys, which Tyler handed to him without question. He wasn't going to be able to handle his anxiety and talking about Josh with Zack and driving at the same time right now. He remained silent until they were both buckled in and on the road, and he would've probably stayed quiet longer than that if Zack hadn't immediately given him an expectant look as soon as they reached the stop sign at the end of the street.

Words started pouring out of Tyler like lava the second they made eye contact, surrendering almost every detail of how he'd come to know Josh and how things had been since they'd met. There was only one confession Tyler managed to bite back: "Josh is my boyfriend."

The more he told Zack-who sat silently and listened without commenting or asking any questions-the more he realized how badly he'd been dying to have someone he could talk to about Josh. He wanted to be able to tell Zack about how Josh played with his hands whenever they were within arm's length of each other, how Josh stuttered without noticing whenever he talked about something he was really excited about, how precious he seemed when he slept in Tyler's lap, how pink his cheeks had burned after Tyler had kissed him today, how quickly Tyler was starting to realize how glaringly obvious it was to him now that Jenna has never been anywhere close to being his Tatum. No one had ever offered Tyler unconditional love, understanding, and safety like Josh did whenever they were together-or even just talking to each other on the phone. Tyler wanted to tell Zack about all of that, but he couldn't risk doing so before Zack had first ensured Josh's safety for the night.

---

It didn't really seem to sink in for Zack that Tyler meant it literally when he told him he came in to see Josh every day until the security guard let them in despite it not being a visiting day, barely looked through the folder Tatum had sent with them, and told Tyler, "You were gone for barely over an hour, and you already missed an incident. Officer Hoppus said to buzz you right through."

The guard was a plump woman who looked to be around Tyler's mom's age. He'd seen her a million times. Her name was Lupita, and she always seemed a little too excited to tell Tyler personal information about Josh.

Still, Tyler asked, "What kind of incident?"

She waved the question off with a diminutive hand as she searched Zack's briefcase quickly. "Nothing too big. Another flashback, maybe. It's hard to keep track of all these boys lately. It's always something. You know, I told the warden it would be better if we didn't let so much of gen pop back in just yet, but he didn't listen though. Never does. And these boys-the ones like Dun, who never left the prison after the incident.... Dios mio, they are struggling. We had a stabbing last night. We're not supposed to talk about it, but you won't tell anybody, will you?" She smiled conspiratorially at Tyler.

Tyler glanced at his brother, who was very professionally hiding an amused smirk. He smiled politely at Lupita despite how anxious he felt about getting to Josh as quickly as possible. "I won't tell a soul," he promised her.

She smiled contentedly, closing Zack's briefcase and sliding it to him so he could lock it shut. She studied Tyler's face for a moment before informing him, "You are good for him."

Tyler let out a shaky breath. "Yeah, well, things are looking rough today, so we'll see about that."

Lupita shook her head, reaching out to squeeze his hand gently before telling him firmly. "Trust me, mijo. Last year, I rode in an ambulance with him to the hospital across town because our medics weren't prepared to fix the damage done by four months of him sitting alone in solitary without his mother calling him even once. I remember thinking to myself that he didn't even know his body was in pain because there was too much pain inside of him, but Officer Hoppus and Officer Frangipane tell me that he laughs now. He's been in this facility for almost three years, and none of us had ever heard him laugh until after you started coming in. Trust me. Even on the rough days, you are good for him."

Tyler could feel his brother's eyes on him, the weight of that one omitted piece of information hanging heavily and very obviously between them now. He smiled at Lupita, allowing her to squeeze his hand again before leading him, Zack, and the crushing weight surrounding them through the prison toward the visiting room. Zack didn't say a word.

Tyler's heart throbbed when they were let into the visiting room. Josh has already been let inside and uncuffed. He was sitting at the table, his eyes looking very distant and far away as he drew distractedly in a sketchbook with a crayon. There were crayons scattered across the table, obviously there for Josh's benefit, but beside the sketchbook also sat a pinecone. Josh didn't look up when they came in, didn't even seem to recognize that they were here.

Hoppus looked relieved though from where he was standing beside Josh. He crouched down to be at Josh's level, saying quietly as if he was speaking to a frightened animal or a little child, "Josh, Tyler and his brother are here."

Zack hesitated in the doorway, still assessing the situation, but Tyler went straight to the table and sat down across from Josh, smiling warmly as he set the envelope down softly on the tabletop. He looked at the page in front of Josh, smiling at the miraculously accurate portrait Josh had done of Abbie with only a green crayon. His eyes went to Josh then, finding a mixture of fear and relief inside of them.

"How the fuck did you do that with a crayon?" Tyler asked through a grin, which widened when the corners of Josh's lips tugged upwards just slightly despite his obvious anxiety.

Josh shrugged, looking incredibly small and vulnerable as he watched Zack take a seat beside Tyler.

Thankfully, instead of a ridiculously formal greeting, Zack just calmly said, "Hey, I'm Zack." When Josh glanced nervously at Tyler and then back at Zack without finding his voice to reply with his own name, Zack continued seamlessly. "Tyler told me about the prison kicking you off suicide watch while you're still not safe to back in your own cell, which is bullshit but also illegal, so if I have your permission, I want to try to fix that for you. I'm not going to charge you or anything since that would also be bullshit. Our prison system is fucked as it is, and you shouldn't have to pay money to be guaranteed safety, especially when the reason you're unsafe is because the prison failed to protect you previously. You can just hang out with Tyler while I go sort this out. Okay?"

Josh looked to Tyler again, almost as if he was looking for permission to agree or making sure Tyler thought it was a good idea or something like that. Tyler smiled at him again. "You don't have to say yes if you don't want to," Tyler told him gently.

Josh glanced nervously at Zack before looking down at his sketchbook and nodding. Zack nodded too.

"Okay. Thank you. I'll be right back," Zack told Josh, giving Tyler an expectant look as he left the table. Tyler had no idea what it meant, but he still smiled gratefully at his brother.

As soon as the door closed behind Zack, Tyler leaned across the table and hugged Josh. He hugged him tighter when he heard Josh draw in a shaky breath. "What happened after I left? Are you okay?"

"I don't know. I just panicked. It was stupid. I don't know. I'm sorry," Josh told him in a tiny shaking voice.

"He fell asleep for a little bit. I think it was another nightmare," Hoppus explained carefully.

Tyler nodded, kissing Josh's cheek softly. "That's okay. It's okay. You're safe now. We won't let anything hurt you."

"I hate that you always have to leave," Josh whispered against Tyler's shoulder. "I hate that I can't come with you."

"I hate that too," Tyler agreed. He sighed. "I brought you a present from Tatum, if that will help you feel any better. I have no idea what's in it."

"From Tatum?" Josh asked, sounding confused.

"Mmmhm. She wanted to send you food, but that's not allowed. She and Zack both know everything about you, apart from the fact that you're my boyfriend. I figured I'd wait until Zack was done helping you to let them know that little bit of information in case it takes them a minute to come around," Tyler explained.

"Makes sense," Josh agreed.

Tyler released Josh, standing up and helping Josh to do the same before guiding him over to where they could sit on the floor. He shifted Josh into his lap before handing him the envelope. "Let's see what she gave you then."

Josh smiled timidly as he opened the envelope, reaching in and pulling out something that crunched in his hand. He raised an inquisitive eyebrow, but his face was immediately overtaken by a wide smile when he looked down at his palm and realized he was holding a handful of dried flower petals. They were bright yellow, and Tyler's heart swelled with the knowledge that they were likely the first flower remnants Josh had seen in years.

"Oh my god," Josh whispered as he looked down at the petals in awe, leaning more into Tyler as he studied them with twinkling eyes. "Ty, look."

"They're beautiful," Tyler offered, but he was watching the tears filling Josh's eyes at the sight of the bright yellow treasures sitting in his palm. He couldn't help but press a comforting kiss to Josh's forehead before asking, "Are there more of them?"

"Um," Josh's voice was quiet, made gentle by how touched he felt, as he looked into the envelope. He gasped, quickly but very carefully handing Tyler his petals before his hand was shooting into the envelope to procure his next treasure. "Oh my god. Oh my god."

Tyler couldn't help but chuckle at Josh's excitement as he pulled out a tumbled amethyst stone, his eyes wide as he turned the crystal over in his hands again and again. "That's amethyst," Tyler provided, not really knowing anything beyond that but wanting to add to Josh's excitement in some way. "It's a crystal or something."

"It's so pretty," Josh whispered, absolutely awestruck. He finally tore his eyes away from the soft purple rock to look at Tyler for a moment, smiling when he saw Tyler's expression. "Stop looking at me like that!"

"Like what?" Tyler asked, his cheeks aching from how wide he was smiling.

"Like that," Josh mumbled, his cheeks pink as he looked down at his stone again.

Tyler laughed. "What? Like you're cute? You're being very cute. I'm not at fault here. This might be the cutest you've ever been."

Josh rolled his eyes, still blushing deeply as he handed Tyler his stone and reached into the envelope again. "I'm not cute."

"Prove it," Tyler replied childishly, making Josh's smile widen.

The next item was a little square of paper, and the way Josh's eyes lit up and jaw dropped when he saw it was so cute that Tyler honestly had no choice but to press a gentle kiss to his lips. The kiss only lasted a second, but it was absolutely essential. Josh giggled when the kiss broke, making Tyler laugh.

"You're doing a horrible job of not being cute," Tyler informed Josh, who giggled again.

Josh held up the square for Tyler to see then, giggling louder when Tyler's smile disappeared immediately as he was greeted by one of his own baby pictures. To make matters worse, his tiny baby self was sitting in the bathtub. Tyler was going to kill Tatum.

"Don't be mad! You're so cute," Josh insisted through a laugh. "Oh my god, Ty. The back says you were two! You're so cute. What the fuck? Look at you."

Tyler rolled his eyes, but ultimately just rested his chin on Josh's shoulder and watched Josh gleefully stick his hand into the envelope again. "I'm going to be so pissed if I can't track down your baby pictures today. They better be online. I swear to god."

"Just ask Frangipane. She's already seen them," Josh replied as he pulled another photograph out of the envelope.

This one was current. It was the one on Tyler's work website. He smiled at the way Josh's muscles relaxed as soon as he saw it, his fingertips holding the edges almost reverently.

"I can keep this?" Josh asked hopefully, his voice quiet.

Tyler smiled. "It's yours," he confirmed gently. He rested the back of his hand that was holding Josh's petals and stone down against the cold tile floor as he pressed a kiss to Josh's shoulder. "You get to keep everything but the baby picture."

"Oh, you're not getting that one back. Like, ever. That's mine now. Sorry," Josh replied without missing a beat, laughing when Tyler pretended to bite his shoulder.

"Fine," Tyler surrendered.

The two pictures were set down in Josh's lap before he dug through the envelope once again, producing a simple business card of Zack's. Josh set that down beside himself, seeming unsure of it, before looking for more. Tyler was surprised when Josh pulled out a piece of light blue construction paper that had two tiny paint handprints on it that had been turned into smiling flowers by a sharpie. At the bottom was the letter P and the current year. Tatum had allowed Josh to have a little piece of the comfort that only P knew how to offer. Never in Tyler's life had he expected her to share something so vulnerable with someone she knew so little about.

"P as in your niece?" Josh asked, sounding just as surprised as Tyler felt.

"Yeah," Tyler provided, not meaning to sound so shocked.

"Her hands are so tiny," Josh whispered, touching his fingertips to her tiny blue palm. "I forgot humans could be that tiny."

"She seems really big to me now. She's growing really fast," Tyler replied honestly. He pressed another kiss to Josh's shoulder before telling him, "I wish you could see her. She's so cute. You're so cute."

Josh smiled, his eyes not leaving the blue and purple handprints in front of him for a moment. He looked over his shoulder at Tyler then, tears starting to gather in his eyes as he whispered to him, "Can I say something really honest but also kind of depressing?"

"Absolutely," Tyler replied easily, quickly slipping the petals and amethyst back into the envelope so he could wrap both of his arms protectively around Josh's waist.

"I genuinely never even considered what it would be like to have a boyfriend like you who actually takes care of me and loves me the way I am, partially because of Catholic guilt or whatever, and partially because I thought I would die before I ever found you." There was urgency behind Josh's expression. He needed Tyler to understand how serious he was about this. "You're so much better than anything I could have ever imagined though."

Tyler pressed their foreheads together carefully, cradling the back of Josh's head in his hand gently as he admitted, "I think I wasted a lot of time while I was looking for you, if I'm being completely honest. It sucks that I didn't know who exactly I was looking for, or I could've been here way sooner."

Josh laughed, shifting to rest his head against Tyler's shoulder as he did so. Tyler laughed too when Josh asked amusedly, "What? You weren't actively seeking out currently incarcerated felons who were put away at thirteen? Why not?"

Tyler rolled his eyes, hugging Josh a bit tighter and rocking him gently as he chuckled out, "Shut up. Having a felony on your record doesn't cancel out every other positive trait you have! You're still a lovable and worthwhile person, and no one gets to take that away from you." When his words made Josh bashfully hide his face away against his chest, he added, "And you're gonna get so fucking sick of hearing me tell you that because you're never going to be able to convince me to shut up about it. I love you too much, you precious little cutiepants."

Josh snorted, but he was still hiding in order to conceal his blush. "You're so fucking corny. It's out of control."

Tyler smirked, especially when he saw how amused Hoppus was by Josh's gleeful embarrassment. "Look, I respect that you've gotta act tough in here, which is why I'm not going to tell anyone that you're actually a massive sweetheart, but I'm still going to treat you like you are the kindest and most gentle boyfriend I've ever had until you either prove that notion to be false or communicate to me that my constant fawning over you is a violation of your boundaries."

Josh shrugged, leaning into the kiss Tyler pressed to his forehead as he replied simply, "I'm good with it as long as you don't treat me like a bitch."

Maybe those words shouldn't have been as much of a shock to Tyler as they were, but he felt like he'd just had a vase smashed over his head. Why hadn't it occurred to him that Josh's primary model for how a gay relationship functioned would come from what he had witnessed from behind bars? Had that been a subconscious concern of Josh's? Had he been consciously thinking about which one of them was expected to be the bitch in this relationship? Did he understand that neither of them had to be in a demeaning role or a role that violated their rights to consent and respect? Even Hoppus looked momentarily taken aback by Josh's comment, but Josh didn't seem to notice the shift in the energy within the room. This was logical to him. Consciously or unconsciously, he'd been preparing himself for a power imbalance to exist within their relationship, and Tyler was incredibly concerned about that.

Tyler carefully took Josh's envelope from him, setting it down on the tile floor beside his thigh before meeting Josh's eyes seriously, making anxiety cross Josh's features immediately. Tyler spoke softly and gently as he asked Josh, "Honey, you know that we're both equal in this, right? There's not supposed to be one person who's in control of the other in this relationship. There's, um, there's no bitch in our relationship. We're partners. There isn't a specific role I'm expecting you to fill or an expectation for you to be overly masculine or to let me do whatever I want to you or any type of damaging concept like that. I just want you to feel safe being yourself, and I'll do the same, and we'll meet in the middle to make things work from there."

Josh hesitated for a second before nodding and replying quickly, "Yeah, I know." The shame and embarrassment hidden beneath his carefully applied smile broke Tyler's heart.

Tyler glanced briefly at Hoppus, who was holding his breath as he allowed Tyler and Josh to work this out on their own. His eyes then met Josh's again, and he pulled Josh closer to him in his lap as he told him sincerely, "I love you because you're you, not because I think I stand to gain something from being with you. I do think my life is better with you in it, but I think that the...um...dynamic that you're probably used to seeing as relationships between guys is more exploitative and opportunistic than what we're doing here. Does that make sense? Correct me if I'm wrong, but I would assume that guys having bitches in here would be more about sex and power than anything else, and as far as I know, that's not really the motive for either of us."

Josh nodded, looking small as he thought that over. Tyler rubbed soothing circles across Josh's back as he watched him process those words. It took a moment before Josh hid his face against Tyler's shoulder and quietly told him, "Okay, but I'm not going to be able to sit in your lap and stuff if you call me 'baby' or try to make me feel like I'm a kid."

Tyler's eyebrows furrowed in confusion. He didn't think he'd ever done anything like that, but just as he was about to promise Josh he wouldn't do those things, he saw how painful and infuriating just the mention of those actions was for Hoppus. At first, Tyler didn't understand why, but then it hit him. The man who had repeatedly harassed and assaulted Josh leading up to the riot had been a pedophile who'd targeted Josh for his age. Josh was trying to eliminate any possibility of anyone targeting him like that again. Tyler suddenly felt hyperaware of every time he'd called Josh cute today or fawned over him in ways that could potentially feel infantilizing to someone who'd experienced trauma like that, and his stomach dropped. How often did Josh feel triggered and uncomfortable without voicing those emotions? How often did he feel that way because of Tyler?

"I'll do better with that, okay? If I do something that makes you uncomfortable, will you tell me so I know not to do that again?" Tyler asked gently, shifting his hands to hold Josh's hips instead.

Although the idea seemed to stress Josh out a bit, he nodded timidly. "Okay," he replied. He took a deep breath before resting his forehead against Tyler's keeping his eyes shut. He was still hiding. "I'm sorry, Ty."

"For what?" Tyler asked softly, wrapping Josh up in his arms again and pulling him in close.

"Being way more effort than I'm worth," Josh whispered back, fear gripping his tone.

Tyler shook his head slightly, pressing a short kiss to Josh's lips before just holding him close as he rocked him gently. "You've always been worth the effort, and I'm extremely grateful that I get to help keep you safe and love you through everything. And for the record, loving you doesn't take any effort at all whatsoever. We're just putting effort into building a safe environment for me to love you in, just like you've put effort into building a safe environment to love me in. I love you enough to be okay with that."

Josh smiled, opening his eyes again to search Tyler's hopefully. "Yeah?"

"Yeah," Tyler confirmed.

Josh hummed, kissing Tyler softly before informing him seriously, "For the record, I will secretly cry if you never call me 'honey' again."

Tyler laughed, making Josh smile brightly. He pressed a kiss to the tip of Josh's nose. "That's not your government name?" Tyler joked, pretending to be shocked.

"Is now," Josh quipped back simply.

Tyler grinned, holding Josh's cheeks in his hands and nuzzling their noses together. "I love you...so much. You're my favourite person on the fucking planet, so if you need me to talk to you differently or treat you differently to help you feel safer, I'll never be mad at you for telling me that. It makes me happy to know you're happy, so I want to put as much effort into making you happy as possible."

Josh was practically beaming at Tyler now. He soothed his fingers through Tyler's hair before telling him regrettably, "As much as I want to stay here forever, I think your brother might figure out that we aren't just friends if he comes in here and sees us sitting like this, and I doubt he's going to be gone much longer."

Tyler whined in protest, taking Josh's cheeks in his hands again and pressing kisses all over his face. His heart swelled inside of him when Josh practically giggled as he allowed Tyler to speckle his cheeks, chin, lips, nose, eyelids, and forehead with kisses while mumbling, "My sweet, sweet honey. My lovely little bumblebee." He punctuated his final kiss to Josh's nose with an affectionate, "Guess I'll have to come back after work to see you again, honey."

Tyler had never seen Josh smile this wide or look this relaxed, especially on a day where he had gauze on his arm and really did still need to be on suicide watch. Josh let out a deep breath as he rested his head on Tyler's shoulder and wrapped his arms around Tyler's waist. Tyler was soothing his fingertips along Josh's spine as Josh told him softly, "I'm glad I've stayed alive long enough to meet you."

It was like a punch to the chest and a shot of dopamine at the same time. "Me too," Tyler replied quietly, meaning it in more ways than he cared to admit. After a moment, he added, "I'm proud of you."

"I'm proud of you too," Josh replied easily, accepting a kiss to his forehead.

"My brother is not invited when I come back later, and next time, I get to sit in your lap. You know, for equality," Tyler informed Josh, grinning when Josh laughed. He pressed a tender kiss to Josh's lips before patting his hips and solemnly deciding, "Okay, honey. Let's go sit at the table again."

Warmth filled Tyler's chest when Josh remained in his lap just long enough to nuzzle their noses together before agreeing, "Okay, but for the record, not being able to touch you when you're here is my least favourite thing."

Before Josh could fully climb out of Tyler's lap to stand back up, Tyler pulled him back down. He gathered Josh up into a tight hug, cradling him close against his chest as he pressed a lingering kiss to Josh's forehead. Once again, he was reminded of the reason he'd come in here in the first place. It wasn't much of a stretch to assume that being alone in solitary confinement while suicidal was one of the most traumatic things a human being could endure, and that had been the reality of Josh's existence for nearly three years now. Of course he savoured every moment of physical touch he could get access to. He needed it to survive.

"It's my least favourite thing too," Tyler replied softly, pulling Josh closer and allowing him to cuddle in close and relax once again. "You can always touch me when I'm here though. Even with Zack in the room, you can do whatever you need to do to feel safe. Even if we're still sitting here like this, that's okay with me. I would much rather explain this to Zack than leave here without giving you as much love and affection as you need."

Josh breathed out a nervous laugh against Tyler's collarbone, but he shivered when Tyler's fingertips began to soothe along the planes of his back. "That would be embarrassing," Josh informed Tyler self-consciously.

"It would be embarrassing for him to see us like this?" Tyler asked.

He felt Josh nod slightly. "I'm, like...in your lap," he explained in a timid voice. "That's pretty fucking gay."

Tyler really didn't mean to laugh, but he couldn't help it. "Yeah, well, you wouldn't be the first boyfriend of mine that Zack has met over the years, so I think he could definitely get past the gay part. He actually told me after Jenna that my taste in women is so bad that I should stick with men from now on, so you don't have to worry about him being homophobic. I promise."

Josh's hand found one of Tyler's, squeezing it briefly before releasing it to gingerly trace the scar on Tyler's wrist to silently communicate his discomfort. He took a deep breath before tentatively pointing out, "He still wouldn't want you to be with someone who has multiple violent felonies on their record, though, especially while they're still serving time."

Tyler tangled their fingers together once again before squeezing Josh's hand firmly and telling him, "I trust you, and I feel safe with you, so it's not up to Zack if I stay with you. Besides, you're my boyfriend, not his, so it's really none of his business."

Thankfully, Josh smiled at that, pressing his forehead lightly against Tyler's and meeting his gaze before reminding him quietly, "You're my favourite person I've ever met."

Tyler grinned. "You're my favourite person I've ever met," he conceded easily. His smile widened when Josh's thumb lightly brushed across his bottom lip, the simple action seeming so bold coming from Josh.

The corners of Josh's lips tipped upwards when Tyler kissed his thumb as it passed over his mouth. "You're obscenely cute. It's actually kind of offensive," Josh commented, his eyes twinkling when Tyler laughed.

Tyler slid his hand into Josh's again, feeling comforted enough by the overwhelming joy on Josh's face to not be too heartsick when his fingertips skimmed across the the gauze on Josh's arm on the way there. "Yeah, well, you're easily my favourite person to look at. In fact, I don't think I've ever liked looking at anyone as much as I like looking at you."

Josh's cheeks burned bright pink, and he immediately tucked his face into the crook of Tyler's neck. Tyler couldn't help but laugh when he saw how amused and touched Hoppus looked by Josh's reaction. He wrapped his arms tightly around Josh and rocked him gently, pressing a kiss to his temple.

Not wanting to baby Josh or make him feel like he was being talked down to, Tyler had to choose his words carefully in addressing just how precious Josh was being in this moment. Instead of calling him cute or calling him "baby" or saying any of the other things that felt natural to Tyler right now, he just held Josh close and told him lovingly, "It's going to be hard work finding a way to eventually deserve someone as amazing as you, but I think I'm just stubborn enough to get there in a few centuries or so if I'm really lucky."

"You're so full of shit," Josh mumbled against Tyler's shoulder, but Tyler could still feel the heat of Josh's blush against his skin. He let out a shaky breath before telling Tyler in a voice that was more tender and affectionate than Josh had ever allowed himself to be with him, "How do other people see you and talk to you all day and not fall in love with you? That fucking blows my mind. People should be fucking fighting to the death gladiator-style to be with you. The demand should be that high."

Tyler laughed, resting his cheek atop Josh's head as he did so. His laugh mixed with Hoppus's, and he felt Josh's smile press against his neck.

"How confident are you that you would come out on top in that situation?" Tyler asked amusedly, tracing Josh's spine all the way up to the base of his skull and back down as he spoke.

"I mean, when I was fifteen, I shared a cell with a kid who was notorious for stabbing other inmates with broken plastic forks and spoons and twisting them so they shattered inside of people, so I think I can really handle anything at this point," Josh replied casually.

Tyler's eyes widened. "Did he stab you?" He asked, not meaning to sound as flustered as he felt.

Josh shrugged, "Yeah, but a guard caught him before he twisted it, so I didn't have any serious damage or anything. I was all good."

That didn't soothe Tyler's concern much. "Where did he stab you?" He asked quietly.

Josh sat back then, his expression showing that he truly wasn't thinking about how shocking this information would be to Tyler as he touched a spot about six inches above his knee on the outside of his left leg. Tyler instinctively touched the spot too, his fingertips pressing against Josh's as he felt the slight jagged ridge beneath the orange fabric of Josh's pants. He then covered the area with his palm, partially concealing Josh's hand as well.

His suddenly damp eyes met Josh's confused ones as he told him softly, "I'm so sorry that happened to you, honey."

Josh swallowed, seemingly struggling to process the fact that Tyler found this anecdote to be more solemn than he did. "It's okay," he replied quietly. He seemed to be unsure of what to say for a moment before deciding to let Tyler know, "Abbie was like eight, and she sent me a bunch of drawings of flamingos after it happened because they like to stand on one leg, so she thought I'd feel better if I just thought about flamingos a lot while it healed."

That did make Tyler smile a bit. "That's really cute," he commented.

Josh smiled too. "I don't have them anymore because of the rrr-riot-ruh-riii-riot, but I kept all of those drawings for a really long time. They were really fucking cute. I wish I could show them to you." He hesitated once again before asking Tyler, "Should I like...not tell you about stuff like that? My mom always tells me not to talk about shit like that because it's dark and hard for people on the outside to hear, but I don't always realize when what I'm saying is fucking...traumatic or whatever...until after I've already started talking. If you don't want me to talk to you about stuff like that though-"

Tyler shook his head quickly, rubbing Josh's back soothingly as he pressed a soft kiss to his lips. "I want you to always be able to talk to me about yourself and your life and the moments that have made you who you are because I love who you are. Just because some of the things you tell me aren't always easy for me to hear doesn't mean that I don't want you to talk to me about them anymore. It's just hard to think about someone I love so much being in pain or being in a scary situation, especially when I know you probably didn't have the support or resources you needed to heal and cope afterward."

Josh searched Tyler's eyes uncertainly for a moment before nodding. He pressed a quick kiss to Tyler's lips before he was out of his lap and on his feet again with the envelope from Tatum in hand. He pulled Tyler up too before walking over to the table and sitting back down, wordlessly returning to his crayons and sketchbook. He turned to a fresh page as Tyler sat down across from him and began to draw.

"When Abbie got anxious or overwhelmed or whatever as a little kid, I used to make her colouring books to distract her," Josh said simply after a moment. Tyler didn't tell him that he already knew this from Abbie's therapy sessions. "Sometimes I made them just because they were fun for her too, but most of the time, it was when she was kind of stressed about something."

Tyler opened his mouth to comment on that, but he closed it with a slight smile when Josh tore a page out of his sketchbook before handing it to Tyler. The page contained a few cartoonish drawings of animals: a dog, a cat, a snake, and a flamingo. Josh has only provided him with the black outlines of these pictures, and his gift was followed up by the box of crayons on the table being slid toward Tyler.

"You have to name them too," Josh instructed, smiling playfully as he dropped his crayon back into the box.

"Okay, but for the record, dating me means never having a pet snake because I'll be too scared to be anywhere near it at any time, and I have no intention of ever overcoming that fear," Tyler informed Josh as he pulled a blue crayon out of the box at random and started to colour in the cartoon snake.

Josh grinned widely. "Name one snake you've even met," he challenged.

"None, and I plan on keeping it that way," Tyler quipped easily. His smile brightened when Josh laughed.

"I will respect your phobia, and I promise not to expose you to snakes if I ever get out of here. Not a lot of snake exposure in prison, but I'll do my best to protect you if one slips through the cracks," Josh mused.

"Aw, honey, you would fight a snake for me? God, that's romantic," Tyler joked back, pretending to be touched.

Josh snickered, digging through the crayon box for a moment before starting to draw again. "Hell yeah, I would. I'll fight any snake for you at any time. That's basically my entire role in this relationship, isn't it?"

"Serpent wrangling? Absolutely," Tyler agreed through a smirk. "What do you need me to protect you from?"

Josh hummed thoughtfully without looking up from his drawing. "Maybe sharks."

Tyler grinned as he started coloring in the dog with a purple crayon. "Yeah, that's going to be a big one. Lotta sharks on the loose in Ohio these days."

Josh grinned as he started adding a little bit more detail to a drawing of a person Tyler didn't recognize. There wasn't enough detail yet to be sure, but it looked like he was drawing a kid. "Mmm. I'll have to prepare myself for that."

"No, you won't. I'll fix it before you come home," Tyler replied with a chuckle.

Josh's head shot up instantly, looking baffled. "Home?" He asked.

It took Tyler a second to process the shock on Josh's face, but then he just smiled softly. "Isn't that what we're calling Hoppus's house? Your home?"

"Yep," Hoppus replied before Josh could, smiling at Josh when he looked over at the officer.

Josh smiled shyly, going back to drawing. "Right. Home."

Josh didn't startle or zone out this time when the door opened, allowing Zack to step back into the room. He set his green crayon down and watched warily as Zack took a seat next to Tyler. Tyler only glanced at his brother as he switched his purple crayon out for a blue one.

"Any updates?" Tyler asked as he started colouring in the body of the dog around the purple polkadots he had already drawn on.

Zack sighed, setting his briefcase down on the floor since there was no room left for it on the table. He looked professional again as he addressed Josh. "You're going to be back on suicide watch without a cellmate." He didn't comment when Josh dropped his crayon in shock, looking up at Zack for the first time in complete dismay. "You will be guaranteed outdoor time as well, which shouldn't have been taken away from you. That's inhumane and absolutely illegal considering you're not in solitary as punishment for your own actions. This shouldn't be punitive if it's for your own protection. This current structure has failed to protect you, which honestly is grounds for a legal suit if you wanted to file one."

Josh blinked, looking over his shoulder at Hoppus who looked just as surprised for a moment before nodding supportively. "He's right," he assured Josh.

Tyler didn't say a word as he watched Josh and Zack silently study each other for a moment. "And what could he gain from a legal suit?" Tyler asked his brother tentatively. He wanted to hold Josh's hand right now, but he kept colouring the dog instead.

Zack shrugged. "Depends. I've seen people's sentences be shortened over shit like this. I could easily argue that the mistreatment you've suffered has violated your rights and exceeded the punishment you were originally assigned in court. Especially if your behaviour is g-"

"I punched a guy not that long ago. I don't think that counts as good behaviour," Josh argued quickly, once again refusing to let someone paint him in a good light without his permission.

Zack blinked. "Who?"

"A violent pedophile," Tyler justified defensively for Josh, giving him a look that effectively said, "That wasn't your fault."

Josh ignored the excuse though. "Still a person. Still not good behaviour."

Zack simply nodded. "I'll look into what we can do about that. Was it self defense?"

"He didn't hit me that day. Just...said stuff. It was wrong to hit him, no matter why I did it. My fault," Josh wasn't looking up from his picture now. "My fault," he repeated in a whisper, most likely to himself.

"He's the reason Josh first went into..." Tyler's explanation trailed off when Josh's eyes shot up to meet his, an abrupt warning burning inside of them. Josh didn't want Zack to know what that asshole had done to him, and he was making it clear that it wasn't Tyler's place to divulge that information.

Zack's eyes flitted between Josh and Tyler studiously, analyzing their unspoken communication before sighing. "Ty...I know I promised not to ask questions, but we're really dancing on the line of concern here."

"What do you mean?" Tyler asked innocently, his eyes shooting away from Josh's to meet his brother's as he set his crayon down on the table.

Tyler's younger brother simply sighed and wiped a hand down his face in obvious exhaustion. He addressed Josh then instead, "Look. I know you're used to lawyers, and really anyone else in the realm of criminal justice, letting you down. I know you're used to only relying on your own abilities to keep yourself safe instead of asking for help, but I need you to understand that our dad and I have literally gotten death row sentences overturned."

Josh's eyebrows raised slightly as he continued to shade what was now very clearly becoming a picture of Jordan, but he remained silent.

This was not what Zack was hoping for. He paused before adding, "Joshua, your case has a notorious reputation that scares a lot of lawyers away from intervening because they're scared of ruining their own reputations, but it's not a hard case to win. It is ridiculously obvious to anyone familiar with your case that justice isn't being served here. Justice isn't supposed to look like this. It's not supposed to put kids in prison for life and facilitate prolonged and severe abuse against them. You have been expressing remorse since day one. We can't keep normalizing this. You didn't die in that house for a reason, and it's not so you could lose your entire life in here. I want to help you. Please let me do that."

Tyler held his breath as he watched Josh stop colouring. Josh's hand was shaking, and it took everything in Tyler not to reach across the table and hold it securely in his own hand. He watched a myriad of emotions flash across Josh's features, too small of a change for anyone who didn't know him to pick up on. Tyler felt each passing emotion like a car crusher, each expression a grating metal tooth ripping him to shreds.

Josh swallowed, setting his crayon down carefully and sitting up straight for the first time since Zack had sat down in front of him. "Why?" He asked carefully, clasping his hands in front of himself atop the green replica of Jordan's curls on the page before him, like a silent prayer. A sick wave of guilt washed over Tyler when he realized Josh was holding his own hand.

Disbelief was the only expression that Zack offered. He shook his head. "Because you deserve justice too. Justice doesn't just go one way. If no one else is willing to fight for you on that, you can bet your fucking ass that I'm going to. You think I want my kid growing up in a world where literal children get life sentences and no second chance? You're a person, Josh. You're a fucking person. You should have a chance to live like one."

Tyler had to look away as tears burned at his eyes. He was going to break if he looked at Josh right now, regardless of how those words affected him. He was just as heartbroken by the idea of those words getting through to Josh and he was by the very real prospect that they wouldn't.

"Those kids in the fire deserved a chance to live their lives. If they don't get one, I shouldn't either." Josh said it so clearly, so calmly, like it was obvious.

The room was quiet for a moment, and Tyler wondered if everyone else felt like they were being crushed alive in the same way he was.

"Survivor's guilt isn't a good enough reason to stay behind bars, Joshua, and I think you know that. I think you're scared of leaving this place, and that's fair. You've been here for almost half your life. That's scary. It's scary to think about how the world has changed since you've left and how the world might perceive you after you get out. Believe me, I've seen this a million times. For me, this guilt complex you have is just further proof that you aren't going to re-offend when you get out. You've learned your lesson, and now you need to trust yourself. No one is going to give you a chance unless you give yourself one first, and Jesus Christ, dude. You fucking deserve one!" Zack cleared his throat, picking up his briefcase again as he composed himself. "But if you aren't ready to believe that, you can call me when you are. The offer isn't going to expire."

Tyler watched in surprise when Zack stood up from the table. Zack sighed before stepping backwards toward the door, tilting his head toward the it to signal Tyler to follow.

"Take it easy, Dun. Stay safe, and get some rest," Zack stated in lieu of a goodbye.

Tyler allowed himself to search Josh's face quickly before standing as well. He couldn't read Josh's expression. There were too many emotions bundled together and stuffed inside a mask of indifference.

"Bye, Josh. I'll see you soon, okay?" Tyler offered quietly as he followed his brother. He needed Josh to know that this wasn't the end. He would be back. Nothing had changed apart from the energy in the room.

Josh didn't respond, simply staring at his clasped hands. His eyebrows were drawn tightly together, and his eyes were starting to look a bit shiny. Tyler wanted to stay. He wanted to make an excuse to be able to sit back down in front of Josh and hold his hands until the hurt passed.

"W-whu-if-What if it doesn't work out? What if it just hurts your reputation, and I have to stay in here anyway?" Josh blurted out, looking so much like the terrified little boy from the mugshot.

Zack laughed, making Josh jump slightly. "If I'm your lawyer, there's no fucking way in hell that you're not getting out of here. I don't care what happens to my reputation. I care about doing the right thing. Getting you out of here is the right thing to do, so that's what I'm going to do."

Zack was only a step away from the door that would take them away from Josh the moment it opened.

"Okay," Josh replied quietly.

Zack stilled. "Okay?" He asked, just barely turning to look at Josh.

"I'll let you...help me," Josh whispered weakly.

A smile tugged at the corners of Zack's lips as Tyler tried to process those words. Zack nodded. "I'll be back tomorrow then. Get some rest. You're going to need to take care of yourself if we're going to get you out of this shithole. See you later, Josh."

Josh nodded, timidly accepting a pat on the back from Hoppus, who had never looked more proud. Tyler smiled then, meeting Josh's gaze as he felt the relief of Josh's surrender loosen every muscle in this body. Josh almost smiled back, but chewed on his bottom lip instead as he picked up his crayon again.

"See you," Josh agreed as he began to colour again.

"Josh?" Tyler asked softly.

"Mmhm," Josh hummed without looking up. Tyler could see the red dusting his freckled cheeks though, and he knew things were going to be okay.

"If I see any sharks on my way out, I'll let you know," Tyler promised.

He smiled when the words pulled a quiet laugh out of Josh. "Right. Careful out there," Josh warned, smiling down at his picture.

"We will be," Tyler promised through a grin. He waved as Zack tugged him toward the door, rolling his eyes.

Josh peeked up at them, offering a wave and a slightly less restrained smile when he saw that Zack was only looking at the door, which buzzed loudly as it opened for them. Tyler kept that smile tucked away close to his chest as he followed his brother back through security and to the car.