***Trigger warnings for PTSD, a panic attacks, thoughts of suicide/self harm, unintentional self harm, and mentions of vomiting.***

Wait to start the song.

Tyler grumbled irritably when someone grabbed his shoulder and began to not-so-gently shake him awake. He buried his face in his pillow, his body so heavy with exhaustion that his joints were aching and his eyelids were glued shut. The shaking didn't stop, so he grumbled again.

"Tyler, wake up," he heard Jay whisper fearfully, making his eyelids slam open instinctively. "There's someone sleeping on your couch."

"What?" Tyler mumbled groggily, looking toward his bedroom door in confusion. It took a moment for his brain to supply him with the information that he'd given Frangipane his address and permission to crash on his couch last night. He sighed, laying his head back down on his pillow as he told Jay, "It's just Frangipane. I told her she could sleep there. It's okay."

"Frangipane? What? Are you still asleep right now?" Jay asked worriedly, flicking Tyler's temple a couple times until his hand was swatted away.

"It's her last name. She helped take care of my friend last night, and she probably didn't get done until super early this morning, so leave her alone. And leave me alone. I'm trying to sleep," Tyler explained grumpily, already half asleep again.

Jay was quiet just long enough for Tyler to almost fall back to sleep, but then he asked, "So am I not allowed to go get food until she wakes up?"

"You can eat. Just do it quietly, and in the kitchen," Tyler permitted. "Why are you even awake right now? What time is it?"

"It's like five thirty. This is when I usually get up for school, but I obviously can't go today," Jay replied, already headed for the door.

Tyler groaned, pulling Jay's pillow over his head before thinking to warn his brother, "Don't try to sneakily do anything illegal while I'm asleep. Frangipane's technically a cop, I think. I don't really know how it works, but she's definitely in law enforcement."

"Gross," Jay commented before leaving the room.

"Yeah," Tyler agreed tiredly as he pulled the pillow back over his head and allowed himself to go back to sleep.

---

Frangipane had left around five in the morning with a plethora of soft kisses to Josh's face and just as many promises that she'd be back again tonight at nine, and Josh hadn't been able to sleep since. His mind and body were exhausted though, which was making things infinitely more difficult for him. It was also making things more difficult for the guard they'd tasked with watching him. The guard looked younger than Josh by at least a year, and jumped whenever Josh moved even the slightest bit.

At the moment, Josh was drawing. That was the only thing he could think to do to keep his mind from going back to an incredibly dark place. He was making extremely colourful and detailed portraits of Tyler, Abbie, Jordan, Ashley, and Frangipane with his crayons as he sat on the cement floor, surrounded by pages he'd torn out of his sketchbook. He'd purged all of the old pictures of his mom and dad, but even now, he kept looking down at drawings he'd started of Ashley and Jordan and seeing his parents staring back at him, forcing him to rip out more pages. Drawing Frangipane made the fresh wounds beneath the bandage on his forearm sting, so he stuck to drawing Tyler and Abbie. After a while, he was able to replace his other parents and siblings with Hoppus, Skye, Jack, and Xavier, which made him feel safe enough to draw Frangipane again.

He drew until his hands hurt, until his crayons were too short to be useful, until he only had ugly and unhelpful colours left, but then he used those too. Every time he tore out a page, the guard outside of his cell grabbed the nightstick on his belt, prepping himself to beat the shit out of Josh if he acted up. Josh wanted to go home. He wanted to be where Tyler was. He wanted Frangipane to come back so she could keep rubbing his back until he fell back to sleep, whispering how safe and loved he was as his eyelids got heavier and heavier. He wanted to be safe. He wanted to stop being so aware of the blue eyes watching him from outside of his cell, even if these ones were fearful and uncertain.

Josh couldn't do any of those things though, so he just kept drawing. It wasn't until he'd filled up every last page of his sketchbook that he tiredly looked up and asked the guard (causing him to startle so severely that he nearly fall out of his chair), "What time is it?"

The guard's hand was shaking as he held it up to check his watch. "A little after seven," he informed Josh, trying to sound authoritative and superior despite the fact that he was visibly shitting bricks just from watching Josh draw with crayons.

"Okay," Josh replied, nodding to himself as he stood up, glanced warily at the guard-who had flinched violently at the movement-and walked over to climb back into bed.

Josh had barely been lying down for five minutes when another guard came over to talk to the one who was supposed to be watching him, speaking too quietly for Josh to hear them. The young guard looked relieved though when the other turned around and unlocked Josh's cell, making Josh sit up in a mixture of surprise and anxiety.

An orange jumpsuit was thrown at him as the new guard told him coldly, "Good news. Apparently you weren't the only one who went psycho last night. The suicide block's got overflow. You're one of the only fuckers in here we can't give a cellmate to, so you're back in the solitary block today. Warden's extending your visiting time and trying to get Blackett or Hoppus in for the day, but you're not Hansen's problem anymore. Suit up, grab your shit, and let's go."

Josh genuinely didn't have the capacity to be surprised by shit like this anymore. He felt annoyed and a little bit terrified to be alone with himself in solitary again, but he didn't have any power here, so he just put on the jumpsuit, gathered up his drawings and the pinecone and hand tracing from Tyler, and followed the guard out of the cell. He wasn't handcuffed again this morning, which made the young officer, Hansen apparently, look terrified as he watched Josh walk past him, but Josh couldn't bring himself to care. He'd just been told loud and clear by the prison for the millionth time that his life wasn't a priority, but he was still struggling to sit with that.

Maybe it was the fatigue and depression, but the walk to Josh's cell was a lot longer than usual. By the time Josh was locked inside and able to set his stuff down on his desk, he was exhausted. He felt like he was going to cry too, which was pathetic, but he couldn't help it. All he could think about was how badly he wanted to just be able to go to wherever Tyler was right now so he could feel safe enough to sleep for a while. He was so tired, but his nerves were still so fried from his PTSD that even blinking was a dangerous task. Any second spent with his eyes closed was a possible reunion with the man with the blue eyes.

Josh climbed into his bed, pulling his blankets up over his head and trying to ignore the nausea he felt the moment he tried to close his eyes. He wasn't safe though. He knew he wasn't safe here. He'd been right here on this bed the last time he'd seen the man with the blue eyes, and things had only gotten worse from there.

When sleep proved to be an unachievable goal, Josh sobbed his throat raw. He cried so hard that he had to shoot out of his bed at one point to go throw up. He was still throwing up when he heard his cell door open, making him flinch so hard that he nearly smacked his face on the toilet.

The only thing that calmed Josh down even the tiniest bit was hearing Hoppus's voice gently tell him, "It's just me. It's just your dad. I'm here to keep you safe. I'm not going to hurt you."

Josh sobbed again, suddenly aware that he was shaking so hard he could barely balance enough to stay upright where he was crouched in front of the toilet. He didn't protest when Hoppus gently shifted him so he was sitting on the floor instead before one of the blankets from Josh's bed was being wrapped around his shoulders.

"I'm so tired," Josh sobbed out, allowing Hoppus to flush the toilet for him when he was too shaky and too panicked to leave the blanket now wrapped around him.

Hoppus hummed his understanding, the tenor of his voice soothing Josh immensely as he watched Hoppus put toothpaste on his toothbrush for him. "I bet you are," Hoppus validated softly as he crouched down in front of Josh, holding his chin gently as he brushed Josh's teeth. Josh didn't know why he was so comforted by this interaction, but he definitely felt a million times more cared for in this moment than he had when he'd been kicked off of suicide watch this morning. "I'm sorry I wasn't here last night. I can't believe I slept through that call. Your mom and I have been kicking ourselves all morning. She's going to come see you while Jack's in school. We're both so sorry we weren't here, Josh. Were you by yourself all night?" He asked worriedly.

Hoppus let Josh spit into the toilet so he wouldn't have to attempt to stand up.

Josh shook his head, sniffling quietly. "Tyler came. Abbie, Ashley, Jordan, and Ashley's husband came too. It's okay. Tyler got me to sleep for a while, and I felt better seeing everybody else too."

"He got you to sleep in the visiting room?" Hoppus asked curiously, carefully picking Josh up as if he wasn't a grown man and carrying him over to be tucked into his bed.

"Yeah," Josh replied quietly, and he allowed Hoppus to cover him up with his blankets before pulling his desk chair over so he could rub Josh's back. "Just in his lap. He was helping me stop panicking, and then a guard wanted to sedate me, so I passed out, and Tyler just kept me calm after I woke up until I just fell asleep for a while."

Hoppus let out a deep breath of relief, nodding as he gently wiped away the tears clinging to Josh's cheeks. "Thank God he was there. I'm so glad you had him to keep you safe. He's good for you. He's really good for you."

Josh hesitated for a moment, just soaking in the comfort of Hoppus's presence, before he decided to inform his dad, "Tyler's my boyfriend now."

An immediate, completely sincere and supportive smile stretched across his dad's face. "Good. I love that kid. Not as much as I love you, but I do think he's one of the good ones."

Once again, Josh hesitated as he remembered that Hoppus still didn't know about Tyler's connection to Abbie. Would he still love Tyler if he knew that? Josh didn't know, so he kept his mouth shut. He couldn't risk his dad not loving the person he loved most in this world.

"He is," Josh replied instead. He was still shaking, still being held captive by unbridled panic, but he felt a lot better with his dad here and his mind focused on his boyfriend. "He said he'd come back this morning before work."

His dad nodded, soothing across the knotted muscles in Josh's back with his palm as he coaxed, "Okay, well, that gives you enough time to rest a little bit, even if you don't feel ready to sleep. I'll stay between you and the door so you know I'm here to protect you from anything outside of it, and you can just rest your eyes for minute. I've got everything else under control."

Josh wiped at his tired eyes, which were already burning from lack of sleep. "Too scared to close my eyes," he admitted in a quiet mumble.

Hoppus hummed. "You don't have to close your eyes then. You can just try to focus on your breathing for a little while. I'm sure Tyler will let you try to sleep for a little while when he gets here."

Josh nodded, sniffling quietly as he tried to mentally reassure himself that Tyler would still come in, even if the prison was no longer acknowledging the fact that he was at a high risk for self harm and suicide at the moment. Tyler would come in even if they weren't telling him it was an emergency anymore, right? He knew better than to assume Josh was completely fine again after last night, right? Josh's mom had been fooled by things like this in the past, but Tyler wouldn't be. He would come see Josh because he loved him, right? And then Josh could feel safe again.

"Hey, hey, stop that," Hoppus warned him gently, confusing him for a moment before he dazedly watched Hoppus take hold of his hand and pry it off of his already bandaged arm, revealing fresh scratch marks. There was no blood this time. He had only just scraped along the surface of his skin. "You need to be gentle with yourself right now, okay? Don't punish yourself for feeling whatever you need to feel. I know I can't possibly imagine how scary all of this must be for you, but I do know that you aren't in this alone, so I'm going to keep you safe. I promise."

Josh nodded, reaching out to grab one of Hoppus's hands in his before grabbing a handful of his sheets with the other. He just had to keep himself safe until Tyler got here, and then he'd be safe enough to sleep. He could do that. He could hold out until Tyler got here.

"What time is it?" Josh asked tentatively.

Just as Hoppus began to answer that question, his radio alerted them, "Dun's got a visitor."

Tears of absolute relief flooded Josh's eyes as he immediately lumbered out of bed, his body so exhausted that he felt dizzy and off-kilter, but he didn't complain. Tyler was here. His person was here. The one person who made him feel the very safest had finally come in to see him, and that meant that this overwhelming fatigue had an expiration date now.

Josh stumbled a bit and had to hold onto Hoppus's arm as he followed him to the visiting room, but as soon as he saw Tyler, a wave of calm washed over him. He was safe now. Everything was going to be okay. He didn't have to worry about who was going to protect him from himself anymore, especially not when Tyler wrapped him up in a tight hug, pressed a lingering kiss to his forehead, rubbed his back, and told him in his honey-smooth voice, "You're safe. You're safe. I'm here. I won't let anything hurt you. You know that. Besides, your dad's here, and he could kick anyone's ass."

Start the song. It's For Kenneth by Rosie Diamond.

A smile tugged at Josh's lips, and he heard Hoppus chuckle. He could barely focus on anything but Tyler though. He ran his fingers through Tyler's hair, across the planes of Tyler's back, along his jawline and cheekbones. He couldn't stop touching Tyler, soaking in every second he got to spend within arm's length of his boyfriend. He was so grateful that Tyler was finally here.

"Has it been a rough morning?" Tyler asked, nothing but empathy, love, and concern living within his tone. He soothed his palm along Josh's shaved head until he could just lightly hold the back of Josh's neck, his thumb softly rubbing Josh's skin as he pressed a soft kiss to Josh's nose before searching his eyes kindly.

It wasn't a conscious decision for Josh to go up on his tiptoes just to press his forehead against Tyler's, but he was still endlessly comforted when Tyler leaned down to meet his height instead so his tired muscles wouldn't have to strain themselves to reach Tyler. Maybe it was just his fatigue, but he forgot Tyler's question, his heavy eyelids finally falling shut without fear as he wrapped his arms around Tyler's waist and allowed his heart rate and muscle tension to slowly begin to relax. His heart fluttered briefly in his chest when Tyler nuzzled his nose softly, never withdrawing the comfort of his fingertips from Josh's skin.

"The suicide block is packed as of this morning, so the warden is having us assign two guys to a cell. Josh can't be in a cell with another person for his own safety though, so the warden just decided to take him off of watch, give him extended visiting time, and only assign the three guards Josh is most comfortable around to stay with him for the next few days. As I'm sure you can imagine, this morning has been really triggering for him," Hoppus explained for Josh.

The arm Tyler had around Josh's waist pulled him in closer as the hand on the back of his neck continued to soothe him. "How is that even legal? He hurt himself last night, and he still doesn't have a therapist in here. That's negligent." Tyler was pissed, and that was only making him more protective of Josh than usual.

"I think the warden is counting on Josh not doing anything about it being negligent," Hoppus replied, and Josh could hear the anger hidden beneath his dad's voice too.

"Fuck that," Tyler fumed, his fingertips tracing featherlight patterns across Josh's back despite the anger in his voice. "They can't just not prioritize Josh's life. That's.... It's.... I don't even have words for that. I just know that we're not letting that happen."

Josh moved to tuck his face into the crook of Tyler's neck like he usually did, but Tyler brought their foreheads back together gently. When Josh opened his eyes tiredly to look at Tyler, he was surprised to find that there were tears in his boyfriend's eyes. Before Josh could do anything to comfort Tyler though, Tyler spoke to him calmly and firmly.

"Your life is important. You are important. No one gets to decide what level of priority your life is at compared to anyone else's. Ever. Okay? You have just as much of a right to feel safe as anyone else, and if anyone tries to treat you like that isn't true, I want you to tell me about it so I can try to help you. You aren't alone in this. It's my job to love and support you through anything and everything you go through, and you should never ever feel like you can't ask me for help because I chose this job. I love this job, and I love you, so we're going to take care of this. I promise. I'll do everything I can to keep you safe. You deserve to be safe." Tyler was trying very hard not to cry, and Josh knew without a shadow of a doubt that he meant every word he said.

Josh nodded slightly before whispering, "Okay." He leaned into it when Tyler held his cheek gently and pressed a lingering kiss to his forehead before wrapping both arms around Josh and just holding him. "I love you too," Josh added, earning a kiss to his temple.

All Tyler did for a moment was hold Josh, occasionally pressing kisses to his skin or murmuring to him how much he loved him, how proud he was of him, how grateful he was for him, how precious he was, etc. Josh rested his head on Tyler's shoulder after a while, feeling himself begin to doze off standing up.

He actually thought he might have been asleep for a moment before Tyler's voice startled him slightly with the words, "I bet my brother could get you back on watch and make the prison actually put some effort into finding a female therapist."

Josh blinked a few times to reorient himself before reminding Tyler groggily, "He'd have to know about me for that to happen."

Tyler let out a huff. "So? He can think I'm crazy for talking to you if he wants, but you're the nicest and cutest person I've ever met, and he'd know that within five seconds of talking to you, so I can handle a little judgment from my brother if it means you're safe."

Josh smiled, yawning through it before jokingly asking Tyler, "Who says I'm nice to people who aren't you?"

His boyfriend chuckled. "You don't have a mean bone in your body. Your blood type is honey. Everything about you is sweet."

Josh wondered if Tyler could feel the heat of his blush against his neck, but he didn't voice his thoughts aloud. He liked when Tyler called him "honey." Even just hearing the word from Tyler's lips now made him feel treasured in a way he never had before. He wanted Tyler to call him that forever. It felt so safe coming from him.

Josh still felt flustered as he pressed a light kiss to Tyler's neck before telling him sincerely, "I love you."

"I love you too," Tyler replied easily, his smile audible. "So if I was to leave here and go ask my brother to come in here and yell at the warden in legalese, would that be okay with you?"

"You're going to leave right now?" Josh asked warily, his heart dropping into his stomach.

"Oh, no. No, not right now. Right now, I'm going to sit on the floor and hold you again so you can try to sleep for a while. I mean after our time runs out. I'll bring him back in here as soon as I can," Tyler explained, already sitting down and tugging Josh down to be held in his lap. Josh curled up against Tyler's chest like he had the night before, instantly feeling safer. "Unless you'd rather we tried to fix this without him."

"If you trust him, I trust him," Josh decided, his muscles already melting into Tyler as he felt himself beginning to doze off. He yawned. "Wish you could always be with me when I need to sleep. Don't feel scared now. Just safe," Josh mumbled.

Tyler hummed. "Soon," he promised, making Josh smile and his heart thunder in his chest. Just the thought of ever sleeping beside Tyler outside of a prison, where Tyler could sleep beside him too, was a dizzying concept for Josh. It was magical. "We won't sleep on the floor. I promise."

Josh laughed sleepily. "No. Not on the floor," he agreed.

He could've cried just from how comforted and secure he finally felt now that he was wrapped up in Tyler's arms, softly being rocked in the most soothing way possible, no longer having to cope with the grief and absolute gut-wrenching trauma of feeling like no one cared if he was even alive or dead. Tyler cared. Tyler would advocate for him. Tyler would fight for him. Tyler would offer him love and kindness when he needed it. Tyler was his person, and he could always rely on Tyler to be here for him when he needed someone to lean on.

For the first time since five o'clock this morning, Josh was able to draw in a deep breath and exhale it out. His lungs no longer burned, and he was barely shaking anymore. His eyelids and limbs felt unbelievably heavy. He could already feel himself drifting closer and closer to sleep, feeling a million times safer in doing so simply because he could smell Tyler, hear his breathing, and feel Tyler's body against his own.

"I'm so grateful for you," Tyler told him quietly, waking him up again just slightly, but bringing a lazy smile to his lips nonetheless.

"Love you," Josh murmured, still half asleep, but unable to skip out on an opportunity to remind Tyler.

"I love you too," Tyler replied easily, rubbing Josh's back soothingly. "And I'm so proud of you."

Josh was too close to sleep to do much more than hum his gratitude, but he was still rewarded with a kiss to his cheek and a warm and affectionate, "Get some sleep, honey. I'm not going anywhere. I'll take care of you. I promise."

Despite everything Josh had experienced this morning, that was the easiest advice Josh had ever followed. It seemed like only seconds passed before he was drifting into a dream in which he and Tyler were lying on his bed in his childhood bedroom, just making each other laugh and delighting in each other's company. It was peace, and Josh couldn't believe he had finally caught hold of it.

---

There was absolutely nothing in this world that was quite as heavenly as waking to the sound of Tyler's voice softly saying, "It's time to get up, honey. Are you feeling okay?"

Maybe it was because of his fatigue or because his brain was still turning on after his nap or because he'd spent too much time being sappy with Frangipane the night before, but Josh's first instinct was to sit up and look Tyler in the eye with a dazed grin and slur out to him, "I love you so much."

Endorphins flooded though him when Tyler laughed, nuzzling his nose against Josh's before telling him sweetly, "I love you too." Tyler pressed their foreheads together, holding Josh's cheek in his hands and gently soothing the pad of his thumb across his cheekbone. "Good dreams then?"

"Mmhm," Josh hummed quietly, blushing as he bumped his nose lightly against Tyler's.

There was such an overwhelming sense of safety that came from being so close to Tyler the moment Josh woke up. He didn't have to worry that he might hurt himself or that someone else might hurt him or that he was waking up to another month or so of no calls or visits from loved ones. Tyler was right here, rocking him gently like the tides as his thumb shifted to soothe across Josh's bottom lip, making it tingle pleasantly. Josh wished he could wake up to Tyler every morning. He wished he could feel the safety of sleeping in Tyler's arms every night as well.

"I need to go in a minute, but I'm just going to talk to my brother and bring him right in here, okay?" Tyler told him gently, chuckling when Josh frowned. "I can promise you right now that my brother isn't going to bring me in with him when he talks to the warden. I'll get to stay here with you, so you'll get to see me three times today."

Josh smiled at that. "Three?" He inquired hopefully.

"Three," Tyler confirmed easily.

Josh hummed, beaming when Tyler kissed his nose softly. "I guess I will allow you to leave if you're still going to come back two more times," Josh compromised.

"I'll come back way more times than that, just not all today," Tyler assured him easily.

There were very few sights on Earth that were as beautiful as Tyler smiling widely with all of his crooked teeth on display and his eyes so bright that the rest of the room seemed to go dark. In fact, Josh couldn't think of anything else he loved as much as moments like this when Tyler was too happy to be insecure about his teeth. A strong urge to kiss Tyler kept surfacing, but Josh shoved it down, not wanting to fuck things up or scare him away.

"Even better," Josh replied, settling for just wrapping his arms around Tyler's shoulders and pressing a kiss to his cheek as he hugged him. He felt every muscle in his body relax when Tyler hugged him back tightly around his waist. "Eventually, I'm going to stop coming in here triggered and then sleeping through all of your visits," he promised.

"Don't worry about that. You're a cute sleeper, and I like being able to help you feel safe enough to sleep when you need me to. Don't ever worry about needing to sleep or rest or have a bad day or anything like that when I'm here. When you get out of here, there are still going to be days when stuff like this happens, and that's just part of being in a relationship. It's not always cute and glamorous stuff. The only difference is going to be that I won't have to leave after a certain amount of time, and I won't have to tattle to my brother about wardens who can't follow the law." Tyler spoke with so much certainty and even more warmth, making it a lot easier for Josh to trust him on that.

"So if you have to deal with me having PTSD, not sleeping, and being super clingy, what do I get to help you with?" Josh asked curiously, blushing slightly when Tyler laughed at the question.

"Oh god. It's so sweet of you to phrase that like my answer is going to be something super easy and low-maintenance. I'm also a flawed human being, so you should just know that you have never asked too much of me at any time since we've met," Tyler insisted.

Josh nodded, feeling a bit lighter as he inquired, "So what makes you as high-maintenance as me?"

Tyler hummed, pulling Josh in a little bit closer as he considered that. Josh smiled contentedly, soothing his fingers through Tyler's messy hair as he waited. He understood now why cats purred.

"Well, for one, I'm currently taking care of Jay, and I have no idea how long that's going to last. I also have no way of knowing how long I can do that before I'll start having more of my own trauma responses to parenting a child who isn't supposed to be my responsibility," Tyler began.

Josh nodded solemnly. "That's completely understandable," he empathized.

His boyfriend smiled slightly before continuing, "My migraines get annoying. I'll probably cancel a lot of things at the last minute or just randomly have to be in complete darkness and silence for prolonged periods of time, and even if it's just bad enough that I can still function like a person, I'll still be really grumpy and unable to concentrate for very long, and I won't be any fun."

Josh's eyebrows knitted together in concern. "You don't have to be fun when you're in pain," he told Tyler seriously, earning himself a soft kiss to the tip of his nose. He added, "And I'll probably be on house arrest anyway, so I don't really think cancelling plans is going to be a huge deal for at least a year."

Tyler laughed. "Yeah, I guess not," he agreed. He just smiled lovingly at Josh for a moment before providing him with the final warning, "I work a lot, and sometimes really bad stuff happens at work that fucks with my mental health for a while, and I won't be allowed to tell you why."

Josh twisted the hair at the nape of Tyler's neck around his fingers as he considered that, hesitating before asking, "But you'll tell me if you need help, right? Like if your mental health is slipping and you need me there to support you and shit, you'll tell me so I can keep you safe?"

Tyler let out a quiet breath, making Josh suddenly aware that Tyler hadn't breathed since he'd made that final confession. "Yeah, I'll tell you."

Josh nodded, searching Tyler's eyes for a moment before telling him honestly, "I love that you get to have a career that lets you do something you love. It makes sense to me that you would work a lot when you have such an important job that you love doing. You shouldn't count that as a flaw. If you love your job, it's my job to love that you love your job and to support you in that, right? I can do that."

Once again, Josh got to see each and every one of Tyler's precious crooked teeth, but there was something so soft in Tyler's expression too. There was so much love there. No matter how hard Josh tried to will it away, a blush heated his cheeks and the tips of his ears. Never in all his life had he ever imagined he'd live to see someone look at him in the way that Tyler was looking at him right now. He'd never thought he was capable of getting someone to look at him like that, yet here he was, being absolutely drenched in the certainty that Tyler loved him unconditionally. He almost wanted to cry.

He felt like he was going to explode into a billion tiny pieces when Tyler quietly told him through an adoring smile, "I would probably kiss you right now if your dad wasn't here."

Josh's wide eyes immediately darted to Hoppus, who laughed as he pretended to be incredibly focused on the corner of the room furthest from them while he told them amusedly, "Technically, there are rules, like that it has to be a closed mouth kiss that only lasts a couple seconds and includes no other kind of touching, but I'm just so busy right now that I don't know that I would be able to detect any rule breaking in that department."

Josh was still blushing furiously as he processed that for a moment, almost not daring to believe that those words weren't too good to be true. He didn't have a lot of time to think about that though before Tyler's hand was gently holding his chin, turning Josh's head so they were facing each other before Josh was tasting Tyler's soft lips for the first time.

Frangipane hadn't prepared Josh for what it would be like to be kissed this tenderly or this lovingly. His eyelashes fluttered shut as he loosely held onto Tyler's jacket. The kiss was slow and soft, and Josh's lips were tingling pleasantly when Tyler ended the kiss far too soon, pressing a couple of additional short kisses to Josh's lips at the end as if he couldn't help it. Josh absolutely hated that he knew he was blushing and couldn't do anything about it, but he also was grateful that the only person who could see that was Tyler, who was the one person he never really needed to be embarrassed around. That was confirmed for him when Tyler just smiled at him adoringly, cradling Josh's pinkened cheeks in his hands as he nuzzled their noses together. Josh didn't know if he would ever stop smiling.

"Do you think you can do me a favour and try to eat some breakfast while I go get my brother?" Tyler requested, proving just how well he knew Josh by assuming he hadn't already eaten.

"Mm-mmmm-may-beee," Josh replied quietly. He didn't know why he felt shy all of a sudden. It wasn't the anxious kind of shy that he was used to either. He felt completely safe. He just couldn't stop blushing, his tongue felt too heavy, and he didn't trust himself to speak. Still, he swallowed hard before forcing out the word, "Maybe."

Tyler's smile widened at the unbroken word, but the amount of love in his eyes didn't waver at all from when Josh had barely choked the word out. There was safety in knowing that too-that Tyler loved Josh just as much when he stuttered as when he didn't. He pressed a gentle kiss to Josh's nose before bargaining, "There might be another pinecone in it for you."

Josh laughed, resting his forehead against Tyler's shoulder and allowing himself to be wrapped up in a tight hug as he replied, "Okay." He couldn't help but sink into Tyler when he heard his laugh. "Hurry back though, okay? I miss you when you're gone."

"Deal," Tyler agreed easily. "I miss you too. A lot." He kissed Josh's temple softly before telling him, "I better get going then. I love you."

"I love you too," Josh replied quietly, still unable to suppress his smile, even after he'd climbed out of Tyler's lap and helped him to his feet again.

Tyler squeezed his hand before releasing it, calling to Josh as he headed for the door, "Be good while I'm gone. Your dad is going to keep you safe, okay? I promise."

"Okay." Josh nodded, smiling just slightly as he watched Tyler go.

He already missed him. He wished he was following Tyler out of here instead of following Hoppus back to his cell. He did keep his word and eat the pancakes, coffee, and fruit that was brought to him for breakfast. He felt sick when he was done though, already building up anxiety again as he started to convince himself that Tyler wasn't going to come back. He had to trust Tyler though. Tyler loved him, and Tyler took better care of him than anyone else ever had. Tyler wouldn't leave him to handle this overwhelming situation by himself. If there was anyone in this world that Josh could count on, it was Tyler.