***Trigger warnings for mentions of bugs, mentions of child neglect, mentions of past suicide attempts, and mentions of past abusive relationships.***

Start the song. It's April to Death by Flower Face.

Tyler was just pulling in along the street in front of Zack and Tatum's house when he got a phone call from an odd number that could only ever be Josh or spam, so he answered it quickly. The familiar mechanical woman's voice rang throughout his car, allowing him time to park before accepting the call as quickly as possible.

"Hey, is everything okay?" Tyler asked worriedly, his mind immediately jumping from one horrible what-if to another as he unfastened his seatbelt.

Immediate relief washed over him when he heard Josh laugh into the receiver, making him suddenly aware of how tense every single one of his muscles had become in such a short span of time. "Technically? Yes. But am I calling with good news? No," Josh told him jovially, his cheery demeanour being the only thing keeping Tyler from driving right back to the prison again to check on Josh in person.

"I don't love the sound of that," Tyler replied honestly. "Should I be worried?"

"I vote no. Frangipane votes yes. Apparently growing up behind bars ruins your perception of things like this though, so she's probably right," Josh informed him.

Tyler couldn't help but smile when he faintly heard Frangipane's voice proudly assert, "Probably? Fuck you. I'm always right." His heart melted completely when Josh practically giggled at her words.

"What's going on then, honey?" Tyler asked through a contented smile, not really meaning to tag the term of endearment onto the end of the question, but not regretting using the word either.

He especially didn't regret it when he could practically hear the blush on Josh's cheeks as Josh quietly complained, "Well don't be super nice to me before I tell you. I already feel guilty enough without you doing that."

Tyler laughed. "Mmm I can't help it. You're such a treasure. I can't let you forget that, even if you're delivering confusingly maybe bad news to me."

"Well, forget about being nice to me because half of gen pop came back from the other facility today, and they brought lice with them," Josh informed Tyler bluntly, making Tyler's eyebrows raise in surprise. "Frangipane so kindly brought it to me, so there's a chance that it might've made its way to you. You need to have someone check your hair." His voice was quieter and more vulnerable when he added, "I'm really sorry, Ty."

Tyler was quiet for a moment as he processed that, the cogs in his brain turning lazily as he slowly came to terms with the fact that he was either going to have to come up with a convincing lie about why he needed someone in his family to check him for lice, or he was going to have to tell the truth. He didn't know which was worse. Well, he didn't for a minute or so, but a thought crossed his mind that calmed him just slightly.

"I guess it's probably better to tell Tatum about you now than to wait until June, right? To give her some time to realize I'm not one of those weirdos who writes love letters to dudes who are on death row for being a serial killer or something? So she can have time to learn to love you as much as I do before you get out? So my whole family can love you eventually, right?" Everything sounded like a question.

Josh was quiet at first, but after a moment, he asked timidly, "You want your family to know about me?"

"Well, yeah. You're my favourite person I've ever met. It would suck if my family never got a chance to love you as much as I do. I already told you, I'm not going anywhere when you get out. You'll still have to deal with me in June, except you're going to have to be the one who kicks me out when you want me to leave. There won't be any guards around to do it for you," Tyler told Josh through a wide smile, knowing without needing to even hear Josh's voice that he was smiling too.

It seemed like Josh held his breath for a moment before faintly replying, "Okay." It was a hopeful little sound, and Tyler wished he could wrap his hands around it and protect it from anything that might try to dash it out.

Tyler hesitated before saying one of the few things he knew would preserve Josh's smile, even if there it was technically still incredibly delicate territory. "I mean, and it's really only fair that you meet my family since I've technically already met most of yours. Which, um, for the record, I'm one hundred percent Team Skye."

The smile on Tyler's cheeks only widened when Josh not only laughed, but also repeated the statement to Frangipane, who replied, "Yes! Oh my god. I would adopt you if Skye wasn't around. I am Team Anyone But Your Biological Mom. Jesus Christ."

"I can't really ask you questions about my family, can I?" Josh asked him curiously.

"Um, you can ask, but I might not be able to answer," Tyler replied honestly.

Josh hummed. "Does Jordan always look like he wants to punch someone, or is that just when I'm in the room?" He tried.

Technically, that one wasn't therapy-related, so Tyler replied, "In my experience, he always looks like that."

"That's oddly not comforting," Josh mumbled. "Um, what about my mom? Does she act...like a mom? Or is she weird and distant?"

That one was a little too close to the fence. "What do you mean by act like a mom?"

Josh sighed. "I don't know. Is she nice? Does it seem like she's close with Abbie, Jordan, and Ashley."

Tyler sighed. "I don't know if I can answer that one or not. What I can tell you is that when your mom talks to me, I always feel like she isn't really talking to me. It's kind of more like she's just checking something off her list, if that makes sense."

"No, yeah, that makes complete sense," Josh replied quietly. "She's really good at seeming friendly without actually putting any effort into caring about people. That was my entire childhood. I definitely get that."

Tyler nodded. He chewed his bottom lip for a moment before gathering up the resolve to honestly tell Josh, "My parents are the same way, so I get it too."

They were quiet for a couple breaths before Josh asked, "Have you ever seen Abbie's art? She told me she showed it to her therapist."

"I probably can't tell you that then," Tyler replied, smiling slightly as he took the drawing Josh had made for him out of his coat pocket. "But if art skills are hereditary...."

"Shut up," Josh insisted, and Tyler knew he was blushing.

"I'm framing these little dogs," Tyler informed Josh.

"No, you aren't," Josh denied, sounding incredibly embarrassed.

"Try and stop me," Tyler argued amusedly.

"It's on lined paper," Josh stated, as if that was supposed to sway Tyler in any way.

"So?" Tyler demanded through a laugh.

"So wait 'til I can use something besides fucking crayons or Frangipane's notepad, and I'll make you something better. I owe you-you know, since I exposed you to lice or whatever," Josh explained.

Tyler couldn't help but laugh again before agreeing, "Fine, but I'm still keeping the dogs forever. I'll put them on my desk at work or something, so they're there whenever I miss you."

"You don't have to pay me for it since I exposed you to an invasive insect species that might be chewing on your scalp right now," Josh granted him charitably.

"God, you spoil me. You really do. Makes me miss you already," Tyler mused back, the muscles in his cheeks aching wonderfully when he heard Josh laugh again.

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever. Just go get your hair checked and shit, and I'll see you tomorrow," Josh told him, clearly trying to hide the fact that he was both flustered and smiling from Tyler flirting with him.

Tyler smirked. "Joshuaaa," he singsonged teasingly.

He nearly snorted at how unprepared for that response Josh clearly was as he asked in a hoarse voice, "yeah?"

"Admit it. You miss me too," Tyler challenged, glancing defensively out of his car window when someone walked past him on the sidewalk, and feeling incredibly relieved when it wasn't someone he was related to. "You miss me just as much as I miss you, even when you have to deal with Minute Sixteen And Over Tyler. Just 'cause you're big and tough on the outside doesn't mean you aren't a secret softie on the inside."

There was no greater sound on Earth than the sound of Josh's laugh. "Obviously I miss you, asshole. I'm sorry I didn't write a song about it in the fifteen minutes you've been gone. Dude, you're bratty. And clingy. And bossy. And for some fuckin' reason, I miss you anyway. How the fuck did you manage to make that happen?"

"I'm just so cute that it cancels out all of my negative qualities," Tyler explained easily.

This time, a slight blush raced up to nip at Tyler's cheeks when Josh replied, "Yeah, that checks out."

Tyler sighed wistfully. "Okay, well, as much as I wish I could sit here and talk to you about my cuteness all night until it's time for me to come in and see you in person again, I need to go get my hair checked so I can get Jay home and into bed at a reasonable time."

"Okay," Josh replied, his disappointment audible. Tyler felt it just as deeply. "Take care of yourself too, okay? Not just Jay. You're important too, and your mental health is just as much of a priority as his. I'm still okay with you bringing him in here if you ever need help too. I'm sorry I can't really help in any other way, but whatever I can do, let me know. I'll do it."

Tears were starting to burn at Tyler's eyes again. "I love you," he told Josh seriously.

"I love you too," Josh replied sincerely. "You sound like you're going to cry again. Are you okay?"

"I think so," Tyler replied truthfully. He drew in a deep breath and exhaled it shakily before telling Josh, "I honestly think I just feel relieved right now. I'm not used to having someone who's willing to listen to me or help me when I'm dealing with heavy personal stuff. It's just-I've never even had to ask you for help with this. You've just had my back the whole time, no questions asked, and I'm not used to that. I'm grateful for it though-grateful for you."

"Says the guy who came to see me immediately after a prison riot, even though you'd never met me, just because you didn't know if anyone else was going to come check on me," Josh pointed out sarcastically, making Tyler laugh despite the tears still clinging to his eyelashes.

"I stand by that decision. That was easily one of the best decisions I've ever made," Tyler insisted as he wiped at his eyes with the palms of his hands.

"Well, you're always here for me, so I'm always going to be here for you. If I have to do that from in here, I'll do it from in here, but I'm going to do it no matter what," Josh stated decidedly.

Warmth washed over Tyler at the thought of "always" being part of the timeline their relationship lived on. He wanted to always have Josh around. He couldn't imagine anything better than that. Maybe it was residual anxiety from Kennedy and Jenna though, or maybe it was just guilt about lying to Josh for so long, but Tyler's stomach starting to ache after a moment. He glanced nervously at Zack's house again before asking, "Hey, Josh?"

"What's up?" Josh asked, his tone soft, like he was still bracing himself in case Tyler broke into sobs again like he had at the prison.

"Can you do me a favour?" Tyler requested quietly.

Josh didn't even need a second to think about it before he replied, "Yeah, of course. What do you need?"

Tyler chewed just bottom lip for a moment before managing to stiffly say, "Let's not say stuff like 'always' until we know for sure how you feel about everything we talked about today and how Abbie feels about it, okay?"

There was silence on the other end of the phone for a moment before Josh finally shattered it with the words, "Dude, you're so bossy. Who says I haven't decided already?"

The words took Tyler by surprise. "Have you?" He asked, not really having the capacity to be embarrassed about how desperate he sounded.

"Mostly, yeah," Josh informed him. "I know what I want to do. I just would feel more sure about it if Abbie signed off on it."

A slight smile tugged at one of the corners of Tyler's lips as he processed what Josh was saying. Josh did feel comfortable moving forward with their relationship, which meant he still trusted Tyler enough to give him a chance to make this up to him. He just wanted clearance from Abbie to soothe his conscience moving forward. Tyler understood that. He really did. He wanted Abbie's permission to pursue a relationship with her big brother too. He wanted to know that she didn't feel uncomfortable or betrayed or upset.

"How does Frangipane feel about it?" Tyler asked curiously, trying not to sound as hopeful as he felt.

"Oh, she's going to keep being really protective, but she really likes you. She totally approves. She's also been begging me to tell you not to shave your head if you wind up having lice because she thinks your hair is too fluffy to be hacked off," Josh reported.

Tyler's eyes widened, and a gasp left his lungs before he was able to exclaim, "Did they shave your head?"

"Oh yeah. Two hundred guys showed up here in one day, more than half of them with lice, and there's no way in hell anybody was going to comb through everyone's hair with lice shampoo. I've never been in a facility where they didn't shave heads during infestations," Josh explained to him. "Honestly, my head's usually shaved anyway, so it's not a huge deal for me."

"I'll miss playing with your curly hair whenever I hug you, but I'm glad you don't have lice anymore," Tyler told him honestly. "I might pout about it for a few days though."

Josh chuckled. "Yeah, okay, whatever. You're more dramatic after your fifteen minutes run over than I anticipated, but my hair's still going to grow back eventually. I promise."

"Beard too?" Tyler pressed, smiling when Josh laughed again.

"Yeah, I guess," Josh confirmed amusedly. "If you want."

"Oh, I get to choose? This is a lot of power. I hope it doesn't corrupt me," Tyler pretended to think aloud, beaming when Josh laughed again. "Don't actually alter your appearance for me though. You should look however you want to, and I'll be impressed either way. I promise."

Due to the sincerity of Tyler's words, he was in no way prepared for Josh to reply with a sarcastic, "Yeah, I wasn't actually going to take grooming advice from a guy who might still have lice."

Tyler laughed so hard that he snorted, making Josh snicker. "Asshole! They were your lice first!" Tyler exclaimed through peals of laughter.

"Well, you know, if I can't be there in person...." Josh mused, only making Tyler laugh harder. It wasn't until Tyler finally managed to get control of himself that Josh told him in an affectionate but slightly hesitant voice, "I like when you laugh."

Once again, warmth washed over Tyler. It took him a moment to realize that some of that warmth was coming from the blush burning his cheeks. "I like that you're so good at making me laugh," he countered. He rested his head against the cool glass of the car window as he admitted, "I don't like how long we have to wait until June. We're gonna get the warning that we're running out of time to talk any second now, but I wish I could talk to you in person for hours without having to worry about guards or prison phone rules or time constraints or any shit like that. I'm starting to hate every month that isn't June."

He closed his eyes when he heard Josh sigh. "Yeah, me too. It might always be like this anyway though," Josh replied solemnly.

Tyler frowned. "I really really doubt that, but even if that's true, I'll take fifteen minute visits and phone calls over zero time with you any day. I don't love the idea of you being stuck in there until you're eighty, but that doesn't mean I won't be there to pick your wrinkly ass up when you do get out. We've made it work this long, right?"

"Right," Josh agreed quietly.

"You're worth the effort-every time," Tyler assured him easily.

He heard Josh take in a slightly shaky breath before replying just as quietly as before, "Thanks."

Knowing he couldn't end this call with Josh feeling too emotionally overwhelmed, Tyler added, "I can't promise my dad won't try to make you go to law school once he finds out about you though. I can only hide you from him for so long."

A relieved smile spread across his face when Josh laughed. "Oh, god. Please tell him I'm dead."

Tyler snickered. "As if death is powerful enough to stop my dad. He'll find some way to convince a judge that your death certificate is faulty and force you to come back to life until it's been filed correctly or some shit. Nothing can stop him."

"Oh my god, I already hate him," Josh groaned, making Tyler snort. "Am I allowed to hate your parents if you hate mine?"

"Everyone is allowed to hate my parents, Josh," Tyler insisted amusedly.

"Oh my god. You know about my dad too then, don't you? So you've probably known all along how fucking garbage he is, and that's why you're so understanding about how much I fucking hate that guy," Josh deduced.

Since Tyler couldn't answer that without breaking confidentiality, he instead replied, "If he was genuinely being a loving and supportive parent, you wouldn't still be hurting so much. Prior knowledge isn't really necessary to see that he's failed you again and again in ways that are incredibly difficult to heal from. In my professional opinion, that makes him a giant fucking asshole."

He smiled when Josh's response to that was a simple and sincere, "I love you."

"I love you too," Tyler told Josh softly. "I'm really proud of you, by the way. It takes a lot to grow up with parents like yours, a speech impediment, untreated mental health issues, constant reinforced shame and guilt about being who you are, and having to grow up in the prison system where you were exposed to even more trauma, and to still be a genuinely good person. I have no idea how it's even possible for you to be you, but I'm so grateful that you are. You should be really proud of yourself."

Josh was quiet for a moment, and Tyler knew he'd managed to flip Josh's mood around successfully. He was especially sure of that when Josh sighed before telling him with a mock-serious tone, "Well, I guess I'll let you go wash the parasitic insects I gave you out of your hair then."

Tyler heard Josh's laugh intertwine with his own. "Probably a good idea," Tyler agreed amusedly.

"Yeah. Good luck with that. I'll see you tomorrow once you're debugged. I think I get to go back to my own cell tomorrow morning, so I'll draw you something that doesn't have fucking lines going through it. Are you emotionally attached to dogs in suits, or did you want something else?" Josh sounded cheerful now. He sounded lighter.

Tyler hummed. "I don't really know what all you can draw. Is there anything you prefer to draw, or hate to draw?"

"I don't know. I can draw whatever. I've had a lot of free time to learn how to draw different things," Josh replied simply. "I draw people a lot, just so I don't forget what they look like. I draw animals sometimes. I drew some for Abbie a while ago. I don't know. I can draw whatever."

"Can you draw yourself?" Tyler inquired curiously.

Josh seemed a bit confused as he asked, "You want a picture of me? Why?"

Tyler shrugged although Josh couldn't see him. "I miss you when I'm not there, and I don't have any pictures of you," he explained simply.

Josh was quiet for a moment before replying, "I can try. I don't think I've ever really tried to draw myself. That requires a lot of looking at myself."

"You might like it. You're nice to look at," Tyler replied honestly, knowing good and well that flirting with Josh would make it harder for him to be hard on himself right now.

"Whatever," Josh mumbled, but Tyler could hear the smile in his voice. "I'll see you tomorrow, Ty."

"Bye, Josh. Thanks for calling me, even if it was just to tell me I might have lice," Tyler joked, smiling at the sound of Josh's laugh.

"Anytime," Josh mused in return. Then his anxiety seemed to catch up with him. "Well-Huh-hope-hope-fff-hopefully-hopefullllly not the lice-um-lice par-puh-par-t-part."

Tyler smiled, choosing not to point out Josh's stuttering when he knew Josh was probably already tearing himself apart for almost making it through the whole call without stuttering until the very end. Instead, he replied, "Well, you know what? Next time, I'll give you a parasite. Deal?"

"Duh-deal," Josh replied quietly, but Tyler could hear the smile in his voice once again.

"Do me one more favour?" Tyler proposed.

"Mmhm," Josh agreed without hesitation.

"Just don't forget that you're my favourite person to talk to and that I love you, and try to have as much compassion for yourself as you think I would have for you. I'll come see you again tomorrow, but until then, I just need to know that you're going to be nice to my person. Can you promise me that?" Tyler asked hopefully.

There was a moment of hesitation before Josh replied, "Okay. You have to do the same thing too, though. It's probably stupid, but I don't like the idea of you crying or having to deal with bad shit in a place where I can't help you. It makes me feel kind of sick."

The confession added onto the end of Josh's statement simultaneously made Tyler's heart swell and ache at the same time. "I promise," he agreed. "I'm safe. I promise."

"I know. That doesn't mean you aren't still hurting though. I don't like that. You don't deserve that," Josh explained, and Tyler thought his chest might melt entirely. "I'm actually gonna go now so you can get your hair checked. I look forward to hearing all about it tomorrow."

"I'll sneak in a dead bug for you as a gift," Tyler offered mirthfully. "Y'know, a visit from an old friend."

"God, you're so romantic," Josh sighed out, making Tyler laugh. "Bye, Ty."

"Bye, Josh."

Tyler tried to cling to the remnants of Josh's presence after he ended the call. He missed Josh already, just as he always did as soon as Josh was no longer within his sight or on the phone. The world seemed duller without Josh nearby. He hated it.

It was with a heavy heart that Tyler walked up the steps and into the house, finding Jay still on the couch. This time, Tatum was sitting beside him while Zack continued to work at the table. P was nowhere to be seen, meaning she was likely already in bed. Somehow, that made Tyler miss Josh more. He hoped Josh went to bed soon. He'd been so tired when Tyler had last seen him. Maybe the whole lice thing had woken him up a little, but Tyler really hoped Josh was getting enough sleep.

Neither Zack nor Jay looked up when Tyler came back in. It looked like it was a crucial moment in the game currently streaming on the television, and Zack was still hard at work despite having surrendered his left hand to Tatum, who was fumbling with it as she disinterestedly watched the screen in front of her. As soon as Tyler came in, she looked to him with a relieved expression. She opened her mouth to greet him, but before she could, he subtly gestured toward the hallway with his head, a signal they had used at least a dozen times at every family function.

Tatum immediately transferred the use of Zack's hand back to its rightful owner and wordlessly followed Tyler into the hallway, not seeming the least bit surprised or offended when Zack just carried on working as if she'd never been there at all. She didn't say a word until they were safely in the hallway, out of earshot from the rest of the family.

"What's up? Is everything okay?" She asked cautiously, her tone soft and warm.

Tyler hesitated before wrapping his fingers lightly around her wrist and leading her further down the hall as he told her quietly, "I need to ask you for a favour and to tell you something that might make you think I've lost my mind."

Apart from a slight raising of her eyebrows, Tatum hid her surprise to his sudden request incredibly well. "Okay. Go ahead," she replied calmly.

She still maintained her poker face when she was pulled into the bathroom, and the door was closed behind her. Tyler tried to ignore the ominous potential foreshadowing of this moment happening in the one room in the entire house that had a peach colour scheme-yet another shade of orange. Still, he took a deep breath before meeting her gaze and offering her a fraction of the confession he needed to make.

"The first thing is that I might have gotten lice today, and I kind of need your help checking to see if I have it," Tyler blurted out anxiously, his stomach twisting up into a knot that he couldn't help wishing Josh was here to untie.

"Oh, wow. Okay. Well, sit right there," Tatum pointed to the closed toilet lid, which was decorated by some kind of peach-coloured fuzzy cover thing. Tyler did as he was told, watching Tatum dig through a drawer for a second before producing a black plastic comb. "I can definitely check for that, and then I can send Zack to the store for shampoo or whatever if we need it."

"Thanks. Sorry," Tyler told her, unable to keep his thoughts from wandering to whether or not Josh had felt like anything other than a box to cross off on a form when he'd had his hair checked. Had the person who'd checked his hair been as gentle when they touched the comb to his scalp as Tatum was? Had he been alone? Had it bothered him that he'd been forced to have his curls shorn off just because it was convenient? Tyler didn't know, but he couldn't stop thinking about it.

"Well," Tatum announced after a moment, tossing her comb into the sink as she spoke, "you have lice. Let me go tell Zack to go get some lice shampoo, and then we can start killing these suckers so you and Jay can get home before I'm forced to actually learn the rules and storyline for Fortnite." She paused before inquiring, "Is there a storyline?"

"I have no idea," Tyler replied honestly.

Tatum hummed. "Well, let's hope we never have to find out."

Tyler smiled as she left the room, trying not to visualize tiny bugs running across his scalp as he waited for her to return. It was more difficult than he'd anticipated. He couldn't tell if it was actually the bugs, or just paranoia, making his head itch. Tatum came back in only a few minutes, but it felt like hours.

"He's on his way to the store," she reported as she hopped up to sit on the counter. "So, where did the lice come from? A client? Are you allowed to tell me that?"

Tyler hadn't even considered the fact that he might have this potential avenue to lie and avoid telling Tatum about Josh for a while longer. Why hadn't he thought of that? He had clients filtering in and out of his office all day. It was completely plausible that he could have gotten lice from a client.

"Or is this all a part of your big secret confession?" Tatum asked, barely masking her excitement under a veil of innocent curiosity.

Oh, right. Tyler completely forgot that he'd already dug his own grave. He had to tell her anyway if he didn't want to risk losing her trust. Maybe it really was for the best though. Maybe it really was a good idea for someone other than him to know about Josh.

Tyler sighed. "Tatum, you have to promise me that you won't tell anyone. Not even Zack. Actually, especially not Zack."

Tatum's eyebrows momentarily shot up in surprise before she asked in a concerned whisper, "You're not doing something illegal, right? Because Zack will definitely have an aneurysm if that's the case, especially if I know about it and don't tell him."

"No. I'm not doing anything illegal. I mean...it was arguably kind of unethical at the beginning, but worth it, so no. Not illegal," Tyler processed aloud.

Tatum blinked. "Are you in danger?"

"I'm completely safe," Tyler insisted. "I'm just....You can't get mad at me-at least not until I'm done explaining everything."

Her expression was serious, focused. She was really trying her best. "Okay," she agreed.

Tyler hesitated before telling her, "So around the time things started going south with Jenna, I made friends with this person who's been through a lot of unimaginably difficult shit. He's still the nicest person I've ever met though, and we kind of just started checking in on each other every now and then to make sure we were okay, and to vent when we needed to and stuff. Right around the same time Jenna left, he had a huge traumatic event go down, and no one else in his life was really checking in on him after or helping him process it, so I just started visiting him whenever I could to make sure he had someone there for him, and he helped me with Jenna too."

"So is he your boyfriend now, or...?" Tatum asked curiously, seeming a little bit enchanted by the idea. Tyler should've guessed she would be, seeing as she solely watched Hallmark movies and still didn't know that Josh was a convicted felon who was currently serving a life sentence and couldn't file an appeal until June. "I'm not seeing the issue here."

"No, he's not. He's just....Um, the difficult shit he's been through? It's really different from the stuff most people go through. I don't know how he came out of all of that as the amazing person he is, but I think it's going to be hard for you to see him for who he is if I tell you about any of the other stuff from his past," Tyler tried to explain. "It's just really difficult to show you the progress he's made and what an undeniably kind and good person he is when he's still kind of tied down by the past at the moment. That probably doesn't make any sense to you either though. I don't know how to even-I wish you could just meet him, but-"

"Well, he's clearly important to you, so I'm willing to give him a shot. He could come over for dinner sometime or something," Tatum offered so kindly yet so unhelpfully.

Tyler sighed. "It's just...." He sighed, not realizing he was moving to anxiously run his fingers through his hair until Tatum made a tiny panicked sound and reached out to grab his hand before it could touch his currently infested scalp. Tyler dropped his hands into his lap, feeling a little pathetic and very frustrated. "He wouldn't be able to do that. Not until at least June, and even then, I don't know. Things are really complicated."

Tatum seemed confused, but she was still trying to be supportive. "That's okay. We can do something different, or just give him some space, or whatever you guys need. It sounds like we have time to figure out a plan, right?" She offered Tyler an encouraging smile, which made him want to cry for so many reasons. "So is there anything you want to tell me about him?"

"What do you want to know about him?" Tyler asked, too anxious about saying the wrong things to just start describing Josh to her without direction.

Tatum shrugged. "What's his name?"

Tyler's mouth was suddenly very dry. He hesitated, thinking it over again and again before deciding that he had to tell Tatum the full truth if he was going to survive this. "Tatum, you have to promise me that you're going to hear me out if I tell you. You can't just assume I've lost my mind and that I don't know what I'm doing," he told her sternly.

It was very clear from Tatum's expression that this response didn't sit well with her, but she nodded anyway. "Okay. I promise," she agreed quietly. "Go ahead."

Tyler searched her face for sincerity before continuing. "Just try to keep an open mind about this, but I've sort of spent the last few months getting to know Josh Dun, which sounds-"

"The baby arsonist Josh Dun?" Tatum whispered loudly, leaning in closer as she looked at Tyler with a mixture of disbelief and unconcealed concern. "Joshua 'killed-six-people-before-he-even-started-high-school' Dun? Tyler, I know you tend to gravitate toward sketchy people, but this is going way too far. You've been visiting him in prison too? Oh my god. I don't even-Are you even mentally sound enough to take Jay home with you right now?"

It was sobering to both perfectly anticipate everything someone was going to say before they said it and to still be absolutely gutted by every word. Tyler was quiet for a moment, not knowing how to respond, or really if he even dared to. He didn't feel like he was having a mental breakdown at all. In fact, the time he'd spent getting to know Josh had been the safest and most stable he'd ever known. Unlike Jenna and Kennedy, Josh wasn't someone who Tyler needed to cling to or change facets of himself to feel accepted by. Josh needed Tyler just as much as Tyler needed him, and they had done such a good job already of setting and navigating strong boundaries with each other while still providing unconditional love and support. Tyler wasn't mentally unsound. He was happy for once, and he didn't feel like he had to walk around on eggshells to keep the rug from being pulled out from under him. Josh was a safe place.

A sense of security washed over Tyler then as he reminded himself that no matter how poorly tonight went, he would have Josh to talk about it tomorrow. He would have unconditional love and acceptance from someone who knew just as well as he did that they weren't crazy for trying to make this work. Tatum would eventually calm down enough to talk to him without her fear and concern for him leading the conversation, but until then, he still had family to lean on as long as Josh was still around.

"It's really easy to talk about him like that if you've only heard what the news says about him," Tyler told her calmly, but he could hear the protective undertones hidden just beneath the surface of his own words. "It's also really easy to be afraid of him if the last update you got was when he was thirteen. No one is proud of who they were when they were thirteen, but that's especially true if you had untreated mental health issues and no support system to help you learn how to deal with them. You don't know how much he's changed since then, though, and it sounds like you've already decided that his brain development had to stop at thirteen just because hating him is more convenient for you. Seeing him as a person and hearing anything other than the nightly news version of the story makes you uncomfortable, so you're just deciding that he can't get better. That's a venomous way of thinking about someone else's mental health."

Tatum sputtered for a moment before insisting, "Six people are dead because of him, Tyler!"

"Yeah, which is why he's tried to kill himself sixteen times," Tyler snapped defensively, causing the colour to drain from Tatum's face. "He didn't even know there were people in that house, Tatum. He's been torturing himself for it ever since, and it's honestly a miracle he's even still here when he's tried so hard not to be."

"Ty-" Tatum tried softly.

Tyler could feel tears forming in his eyes, but he kept talking. "He's been on suicide watch for most of this week too, and you know what? His life has been one trauma after the other since that fire, but he's still the nicest person I've ever met. He's the one who told me not to be mad at Jay for getting in trouble at school today and to just fucking ask what was going on that made him act out, and that's the only reason Jay's not spending another week all alone. He's the reason I didn't sleep on the floor after Jenna left, he always checks on me when I have migraines, and he never judges me for anything I tell him. He just...cares, and I need that. I need him in my life because he does more to show he cares than anybody in my fucking cold-blooded family does, so don't minimize his growth just to make your own misconceptions seem justified."

Tatum was quiet for a moment, seeming to hold her breath before timidly asking, "But he's not your boyfriend?"

At this point, Tyler was debating just grabbing Jay and going home, even if it meant shaving his head when he got there. His face must have betrayed his true emotions though because Tatum shook her head before saying something that he was in no way prepared for.

"I want to meet him soon. Tomorrow. Just so I know you're safe to be visiting him. If he's as good as you say, I'll shut up. Otherwise, I want you to stop this and be safe," she told Tyler sternly.

Tyler blinked before replying, "You can't go in while he's on suicide watch, and I would never bring anyone in without asking for his permission first. It would be way too overwhelming for him to just have a complete stranger show up out of nowhere."

"Okay, well, I want to go in as soon as possible then," she compromised.

"I'll ask him about it," Tyler replied simply.

Tatum nodded, but didn't reply. They sat in a slightly uncomfortable silence for a minute or so before she asked, "Is he cute?" When the only response Tyler gave her was an annoyed expression, she smirked, replying wistfully, "God, you're in love with him."

"Shut up. No, I'm not," Tyler argued childishly.

Tatum had just opened her mouth to send a witty retort back at him when the bathroom door opened to reveal Zack, who handed Tatum a grocery bag. He looked at Tyler's hair for a moment before saying, "Good luck," and disappearing through the door again.

Tatum closed the door with her foot before hopping off of the counter and taking the shampoo out of the bag. "So if you have prison lice, does that make your hair death row? And if your hair is death row, what does that make me?"

"I hate you so much right now," Tyler replied, although he smiled slightly as he said it.

Tatum snickered. "You love me so much-almost as much as you love your prison boyfriend."

"It would be so easy for me to give you and your family lice right now," Tyler reminded her.

Tatum's nose crinkled in disgust. "Message received. Not your boyfriend. Noted. Let's kill some bugs then, shall we?"

"Yes, please."

---

Even with his hair free of bugs, Tyler couldn't sleep that night. He just lied in bed, staring up at the ceiling through heavy eyelids and overthinking. Jay was fast asleep beside him, somehow having curled up into a position that made him look small for once, as he slept soundlessly. Tyler had made a bed on the couch that he was going to sleep in so Jay could sleep in an actual bed, but Jay seemed to shut down emotionally as soon as he was informed that he was going to be alone for the night, so Tyler was in here with him instead. Although Tyler hadn't said anything about it to Jay, it had reminded him of when Jay was little and wouldn't sleep in his own bed unless Tyler stayed with him until he fell asleep. Somehow, nothing had changed.

It was a risky train to follow, but Tyler couldn't help wondering what he would do if Josh were here. Would he make Jay sleep on the couch anyway? On the floor? Would Tyler have to kick Josh out of the room? Would they have to figure out a way to fit this giant little boy into the bed with them? He had no idea. All he knew was that he missed Josh, and his chest felt heavy whenever he looked at his little brother.

Tyler carefully reached out and brushed Jay's hair back off of his forehead before whispering, "You're going to be okay. We both are. I promise."

Apart from some even breathing, no response came from Jay. Tyler sighed, searching his brother's face one more time before rolling over so he was facing away from him, and closed his eyes. He didn't know how long it took him to fall asleep, but it felt like years passed before he was gently tucked away into a peaceful dream that allowed him to spend more time with Josh without having to worry about Jay or Tatum or having to ask Josh if he could bring her in to meet him. Unconscious or not, it was nice to have a few carefree moments with his favourite person.