***Trigger warnings for mentions of suicidal thoughts/thoughts of self harm and a vague reference to past sexual abuse.***

Start the song. It's The Ocean Swears It Won't Be Easy by Benjamin.

The broken glass was cleared out of Josh's cell as soon as he woke up, which somehow felt like a relief now. It seemed to be much easier for Josh to cope with his loneliness when he knew that Tyler would always come in when he said he would, that he could call Tyler anytime, and that he was capable of sleeping for a few hours without having any nightmares.

Things felt okay right now, especially when his cell door buzzed and opened. When Frangipane came into his cell, he immediately allowed her to climb up onto his bed beside him despite the open sketchbook in his lap. She let out a huff of dissent as she plopped down beside him, wrapping both of her arms around one of his and setting her head down on his shoulder.

"I heard your guy came in again today. How the fuck has he managed to come in pretty much every day for the past month without ever showing up during my shift? That's fucking witchcraft, and I'm going to keep complaining about it like a four year old until I finally meet him and make sure he's as nice as you say he is," she told him, pouting slightly despite Josh knowing she wasn't really upset with him at all.

"Hoppus and Blackett both like him," Josh pointed out. "You'll like him too. I'm sure."

"At this point, I'm starting to think I'll never even see what he looks like," Frangipane huffed out, making him laugh.

"Dude, you just have to be patient," Josh insisted. "You'll meet him. I promise. I want you to meet him just as much as you do."

Frangipane sighed, but was quiet for a moment as she watched him absentmindedly sketch what had to be the millionth picture of Abbie he'd created in the last twenty-four hours at the very least. She smiled slightly as she watched his pencil move across the pale paper.

"Dude, that looks like a fucking photograph of her," she told him after a moment. "You could do that professionally."

"I think John Wayne Gacy kind of has a monopoly on the whole art-made-by-felons market," Josh replied simply, smiling when Frangipane snorted.

"You're not a serial killer, dummy. You're a sweet little tiny baby puppy boy who just happened to have had a smidge of pyromania when you were teeny," Frangipane insisted, pressing a kiss to his shoulder before watching him draw again.

Josh laughed as he shaded in a section of Abbie's hair. "I think that's actually word for word what the judge said when he sentenced me," he joked, making Frangipane laugh loudly.

"When he gave you the sentence of not being allowed to leave prison until I've hugged you and told you how cute you are at least a million times?" She added, grinning when he laughed again.

"More or less," Josh agreed. He gently bumped his shoulder against hers before asking, "So what's new with you?"

Frangipane shrugged, resting her head on his shoulder again. "Nothing much. Your sister taught me how to make gluten free vegan cake, and I pretended it didn't taste like cardboard. Nothing new."

Josh smiled. "God, I'm glad I don't ever have to live with her. Prison food is garbage, but at least it generally tastes like something."

"Yeah, I'm sorry that you have to eat the shit in here, but man can't live on Snickers alone. It says that in the Bible, right?" Frangipane asked mirthfully.

"Fuck if I know, dude," Josh replied. "I haven't read a Bible in years. I'd probably turn to stone or burst into flames or something if I even tried to touch one."

She smiled and rolled her eyes, but didn't reply. They sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes while Josh drew, and he couldn't help but feel a million times safer now that Frangipane was here. It was a different kind of safety than he felt with Tyler, but it was equally reassuring.

Nearly ten minutes passed before Frangipane said aloud, "I wonder if I could convince the guys in the surveillance room to rewind the footage of the visiting room so I could at least see what this guy looks like."

Josh raised his eyebrows. "Isn't that something you're allowed to do on your own? Like, don't you get paid to do exactly that?"

"The guys in the surveillance room are sexist, so they tend to act like I'm not qualified," Frangipane informed him.

"That's bullshit. You're amazing at your job. You made it out of the riot with nothing but a black eye. That's fucking impressive," Josh assured her.

She kissed his cheek before resting her head on his shoulder again. "Thanks, buddy," Frangipane replied warmly. She was quiet for a moment before stating thoughtfully, "They'd probably let me watch the footage if I used their sexism against them and told them my nipples are pierced."

Josh's eyebrows raised, and he nearly dropped his pencil. He looked at Frangipane with wide eyes, making her smirk slightly. "I have, like, a million follow up questions to that," he told her weakly, making her laugh.

"You may ask three. Choose wisely," she granted amusedly.

Josh blinked. "Um, okay. Uh...I guess...Do you think that would even work?" He asked.

Frangipane grinned. "I love you so much for choosing that to be your first question, you precious little puppydog."

Although Josh could feel the blush burning his cheeks, he tried to show restraint and avoid embarrassing himself or Frangipane. He smiled timidly at the affectionate words, but remained silent.

"Yes. I do think they're creepy enough to let me look at the footage if I tell them that," Frangipane confirmed. "Second question?"

Josh hesitated before asking, "Um, do you actually...? I mm-mean...I don't.... It's real-really nuh-n-none of b-business but...."

Frangipane smiled, and he was relieved when he realized she wasn't offended and wasn't going to make fun of him for asking. "No, but it's not exactly like I'd let them check or anything. Sometimes the only way to get pervy guys to treat me like a person is to lean into their preconceived and sexist ideas about women. Plenty of people have their nipples pierced, and it's totally cute, and they have every right to make the choice to do that with their bodies for whatever reason they want to, but I haven't done that. Third question?"

Josh shook his head, letting out a deep breath. "Nope, I'm good. Sorry for asking. I didn't mean to like-"

"Hey, you're allowed to ask me questions. You're my best friend. I'll always give you an honest answer, and I promise I won't be offended or judge you for asking. I recognize the fact that I'm pretty much the only female you know who isn't related to you, so it's okay if you feel more comfortable asking me about girl stuff than asking your mom or whatever," Frangipane reassured him. "I appreciate you checking to make sure I'm comfortable talking about this though. That's really considerate of you, and it makes me respect you even more than I already did before today."

Josh nodded, going back to his drawing despite the blush still burning across his cheeks. "Cool. Thanks," he replied, trying to play this off like he wasn't incredibly embarrassed by both the fact that he'd thought about Frangipane's boobs in any capacity and the fact that he was fully aware now that he didn't know how to react like an adult in a situation like this. He was really relieved that she was teaching him how to handle situations like this and that she wasn't ever going to make fun of him for having zero knowledge about girls in general.

"Sorry I didn't think to give you a warning about what I was about to say there. Sometimes I forget to take into account the fact that you haven't really been around girls since you were thirteen. You can always tell me if you need me to tone things down, okay? I want you to feel comfortable talking to me," she told him gently, making sure to check in with him before the conversation progressed any further.

"It's okay," Josh replied, genuinely meaning it despite the blush that still hadn't faded. "You should go see if you can watch the footage though. I really do want you to at least know what he looks like."

"Good call. I'll come right back and report straight to you with the full story of what goes down and my verdict on the physical appearance of the guy who has somehow evaded me for an entire month despite how much time I have the privilege of spending with you," Frangipane announced as she climbed off of his bed. "I do want to give you a hug before I leave though because I really am sorry for making you feel uncomfortable."

"I'm not uncomfortable," Josh insisted. He swallowed nervously before admitting, "I'm just kind of embarrassed that I don't know anything about like...female stuff. I don't know. It's just kind of pathetic for me to be almost twenty-one and to still not know."

"Josh, it's not pathetic at all. You haven't had any exposure to women or girls since you were a kid. Literally no one is expecting you to be an expert on women. It's kind of like...um...I've never been to India. I've never learned about Indian politics or Indian culture, so no one can really expect me to be an expert on that. You know? It's not that I'm dumb or that I should never be around Indian people. It's just that if I ever met an Indian person, I would benefit from being allowed to ask them questions about their life and their culture."

"Isn't Officer Dhawan Indian?" Josh asked curiously.

"Well, yeah, but he was born in Massachusetts. He doesn't know much more about his Indian ancestry than I do," Frangipane pointed out.

"Oh. Right," Josh agreed quietly.

"I'll be right back, okay?" Frangipane told him as she leaned in and hugged him tightly. Josh set his pencil down on the bed beside him before wrapping his arms around her too.

"Okay," Josh agreed.

"I love you so much," Frangipane reminded him.

"I love you too," Josh replied easily. "Thanks for teaching me new things."

"Thanks for being willing to learn new things," Frangipane countered. She pressed a kiss to his forehead before releasing him. "You're the best guy I know."

Josh smiled as he watched her leave his cell. He looked back down at his sketchbook then, picking up the pencil and starting on his drawing again.

The more pictures of Abbie he drew, the more he missed his little sister. He wished he knew if he was even allowed to send her letters or call her, but he hadn't any contact with anyone in his family for a month. It didn't seem like he was even allowed to exist in the same space as them. He was here, in a prison cell, and they were in his childhood home, which was no longer accessible to him. There didn't seem to be any chance of getting back into contact with his family no matter what. That door was shut, and his family had locked it from the inside.

A sick feeling welled up inside of Josh, making him start to regret telling anyone about the broken glass in his cell. He was completely helpless in here. There was nothing he could do to heal his relationships with his mother and siblings while he was trapped in this little cell that he might be in until the day he died.

He closed the sketchbook quickly, tossing it onto his desk to get it away from himself before standing up and beginning to pace anxiously. Everything felt impossible right now, and he wanted to be outside, or in the visiting room with Tyler, or even just to stand in the hallway so long as he wasn't in this godforsaken cell.

He immediately stopped moving when his cell door buzzed and opened. Frangipane's smile disappeared when she saw him, rapidly being replaced by a concerned frown. She quietly closed the door behind herself.

"Hey. What happened?" She asked softly.

Josh was relieved when she wrapped her arms around him and held him still while he tried to calm his breathing. "Why did my mom stop coming in after the riot?" He asked her instead of answering her question, his voice sounding weak and broken when it reached his ears.

Frangipane soothed her fingers through his hair, which was long enough to curl properly now. She shook her head. "I don't know. I think she's afraid to. She won't talk about the riot, and when she talks about you, it's like that never even happened. I think it scares the shit out of her that you went through that and she wasn't there to protect you. She was in denial at first, and I think she feels like she's missed her window to come in and check on you. I think it was traumatizing for her too."

"Bullshit. She just doesn't want to deal with me anymore, and it's easier to cut me out of her life and pretend I didn't make it out of the riot," Josh argued, still sounding like he was on the verge of tears.

"She loves you, Josh. She does. Shes just not good at it. She's not good at being your mom, and I'm sorry for that. It isn't fair for her to be a good mom to your siblings and not to you, but she isn't avoiding this place because she doesn't love you. She's avoiding it because she's terrified of coming in here and seeing that you've been hurt again while she couldn't protect you."

Josh couldn't breathe. "Does she know about what he...about what he did?" He whispered shakily, his voice giving out toward the end.

Thankfully, Frangipane shook her head instantly. "No! Oh, puppy, no. I promised I wouldn't tell, and I meant that. You have nothing to be ashamed of, but if she's going to try to convince you that you do, there's no way I would ever tell her. You get to decide who knows and who doesn't, and I'm not going to try to change your mind or sneak around behind your back to tell people. I haven't told anyone, and unless you asked me to someday for some reason, I never will."

Josh squeezed his eyes shut tightly. "I miss Abbie. I just want to see Abbie again."

"I'll see what I can do about that, okay? Maybe I can convince your mom to let her come see you," Frangipane suggested.

Josh nodded, but his chest ached. He'd been alone for too long with nothing to fill the gaping hole he'd burnt into his own chest so long ago. He hadn't realized how much Abbie was doing to hold everything together for him until she had left him behind with no one else to take her place.

"I saw him," Frangipane told him gently. "On the tapes. Your friend? I saw him."

"Yeah?" Josh asked quietly.

"Yeah. He's really cute, and you seem really comfortable around him. You looked really relaxed with him there, and he really just hugged you the whole time he was here. God, and Josh, his expression was so sweet the whole time. Even when you weren't looking at him, he was focused on you-and not in a creepy way! It was like he just couldn't get enough of you, you know? Like he couldn't believe you were trusting him to be that close, but also that he was really honoured you were."

Josh smiled slightly, his chest feeling less empty when he thought about Tyler. "I do trust him. He's one of the people in my life that I know I can rely on all the time."

"Good. You deserve that," Frangipane insisted. "He looks kind of familiar to me too, but I can't place him in my mind."

"He does? Oh god. Is he a felon too because that would be a huge bummer," Josh complained, smiling when Frangipane snorted.

"No, I don't think I've seen him here. I just can't remember where I have. I'll think about it, but first I think I'm gonna go ask the warden if I can take you on a little walk outside to clear your mind," Frangipane decided.

"Okay," Josh agreed gratefully. He smiled when Frangipane kissed him softly on the lips before unwrapping her arms from around him and walking toward the door.

"I'll be quick. I promise. No stress while I'm gone, okay? Just think about what you want to do for fun outside, and remember that I will one thousand percent make out with you to warm you up again when we come back inside if you want me too. If not, I can find a decent male guard who can take you to shower. Okay?"

"Sounds good," Josh agreed.

Frangipane smiled. "Sweet. I'll be back in a flash."

Josh sighed as he spread out on his bed to wait for Frangipane to return. He smiled to himself, beyond grateful that Tyler had received even a temporary stamp of approval from Frangipane. He really hoped she'd still feel that way if and when she met Tyler in person. He couldn't really imagine anyone meeting Tyler and not loving him though, so he tried not to overthink it. He would be okay. As long as Tyler was around, Josh would always be safe and loved. Tyler had told him that before, and he trusted that. More than anything, Josh trusted Tyler.