***Trigger warnings for PTSD, one incident of vomiting without description of the vomit, and mentions of violence.***

Start the song. It's Burning House by Cam.

Josh didn't know if it was his concussion that was making him throw up so much or the slowly resurfacing memory of a pipe slamming down again and again against a skull that had shattered after the very first blow. His cell had been tidied just enough for it to be safe for him to sleep in, but he knew that wasn't the case for everyone.

According to Hoppus, many of the prisoners had been sent to other facilities until this one could be cleaned up enough for it to be safe again. Gen pop suffered the most damage, just as Jude had predicted. Construction was required on certain parts of the building where walls and ceilings had been damaged. Six bodies had been taken to the morgue, placed on ice until family members could come in to identify the bodies. Blood was being washed away from the walls and floors even as Josh trembled in his bed, too afraid to go to sleep.

Hoppus was rubbing his back, alternating between telling Josh comforting stories and singing to him in a futile attempt to help him sleep. Everything was futile with Josh at the moment. Hoppus hadn't been able to convince Josh to shower, even if his last bath had pretty much been a sponge bath using Axe body wash and toilet water. Hoppus hadn't been able to convince Josh to eat dinner. Hoppus hadn't been able to convince Josh to let the doctor treat anything beyond his concussion and dislocated shoulder, even if they were pretty sure Josh had some broken ribs and a sprained wrist. Hoppus hadn't been able to convince Josh to do anything but put on clean clothes and climb into bed.

"I love you so much more than you will ever understand, and I promise you that nothing will ever change that," his dad told him quietly as he brushed Josh's hair back off of his forehead gently. "No matter what, I will always have your back, and I will always be so proud to be your dad."

Josh's birth parents hadn't made any attempt to call or make sure he was okay, even after the prison had lifted the ban on communication with the outside world around dinner time. Somehow, that made the shame in Josh's chest multiply immeasurably. It was like his mom already knew. It was like she could sense how weak and disgusting he was, even from all the way across the city.

"I'm not going anywhere," Hoppus promised gently, his eyes soft as they watched Josh's. "I will be here to love you and be your dad every single day for the rest of my life, and that makes me so happy."

Josh sniffled, completely drained of tears but still feeling like he was about to cry. "I wanna go home," he whimpered out.

"I know, buddy. Believe me. I know. I'd have you at home in your bed where you'd never have to be afraid again right this second if that was an option. I'm so sorry I can't do that for you," Hoppus replied solemnly, still soothing his fingers through Josh's hair. "Soon, you'll be home with me and your mom and your brother, and we'll never let anything hurt you again."

Josh rubbed too harshly at his face, wanting to tear his skin away but not wanting to scare his dad. "Sorry I lied to you," he whispered shamefully.

Hoppus sighed. "About Frangipane?"

Josh nodded weakly, not looking his father in the eye. "We're still just friends, and I kissed her first, and she never kissed me without asking me first if it was okay, but I shouldn't have lied to you. I'm sorry. I just knew that if I told you, you wouldn't let her come see me anymore, and I need her. She's my best friend, my only friend, and I can talk to her about anything. I need her."

"I'm not going to take her away from you, okay? And I don't want you to worry about any of this right now. You can still be her friend. That's fine with me. You just can't do anything illegal with her because I don't want anything to stand in the way of you coming home with me in June," Hoppus told him in a soothing tone.

Josh nodded, looking up at his dad tiredly. "Promise you still love me?" He asked timidly.

Relief washed over him when his dad smiled easily. "I love you just as much as I always have and always will."

"I love you too," Josh whispered quietly. He glanced at the door behind his dad, expecting to see either blue eyes or a concave face in the window. "I'm so scared, Dad. I'm so fucking scared."

"It's okay to be scared. That's natural. You can feel scared. You can feel scared and still make it through this. I'm here to protect you and help you get past this, and even though I feel a little scared after today too, I know there's nothing in the world we can't survive together, even if we're a little scared," his dad reassured him gently.

Josh drew in a trembling breath before asking, "Shouldn't you be home tonight? Mom and Jack are probably really worried about you."

"If I came home right now, they'd just be even more worried about you being in here alone. They're probably much calmer knowing you and me are together right now," Hoppus insisted.

Josh was fighting his heavy eyelids as best as he could, but it was getting difficult. "Please don't let me fall asleep," he whispered tiredly.

"I think you really need to rest, bud. Your body has a lot of healing to do, and so does your brain," his dad pointed out.

"I'm gonna have nightmares. I don't want to," Josh whimpered out pathetically.

His dad hushed him soothingly. "Shhhh. It's okay. Everything is okay. Just try to relax. I know that's going to be really hard, but just try to relax your muscles and close your eyes. Even if you don't want to sleep, you need to rest. If you do fall asleep and have a nightmare, I'll be right here to protect you when you wake up."

Josh tried to relax, but his body hurt so badly. Pain radiated throughout every inch of his being, and he couldn't ease it at all. He sniffled, scooting closer to his dad before closing his eyes. Sleep didn't come until after he'd cried again for a little while. It didn't last long either. He was only asleep for half an hour before he was shooting up in bed, screaming himself awake from a nightmare.

He sobbed as his dad eased him back down and covered him up with his blankets. He pressed a lingering kiss to Josh's forehead and whispered soothing words that Josh could barely hear over his own sobs. He curled up into a ball, holding his dad's hand tightly in his own as he tried to ground himself.

"Nothing can hurt you. I'm here. I'm here now. Shhhh. Just focus on breathing. I'll take care of everything else. You're safe. I'm here," his dad murmured as he tucked Josh into bed with his free hand before using it to rub his back comfortingly. "You aren't alone. I'm here. You're safe now. You're safe."

"E-even when he's d-deh-dead, he won't jus-just go a-way-away," Josh sobbed out, burying his face against his pillow when another sob ripped through his chest.

His dad's hand remained a steady presence on his back as it rubbed soothing circles there. "Who's dead, buddy?"

Josh was shaking uncontrollably as he dug his nails into his mattress with the hand not squeezing Hoppus's. "My fault. It's m-muh-my fault. I pruh-provoked him, so he f-f-found me," Josh whimpered out. His nails dragged down along the thick material of his mattress as he sobbed. "Dad, I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

If Hoppus understood what he was talking about, he didn't make a big deal of it. He just leaned down to press a kiss to Josh's no doubt greasy hair before reminding him, "There is nothing on this world you could ever do that would make me stop loving you. I promise. You will always be my son, and I will always love you. Nothing that happened during the riot is your fault. It's not your fault that you got hurt, but you're safe now. I'm here to keep you safe."

Hoppus looked concerned at first when Josh shot out of bed, but he calmed when Josh simply dropped down in front of his toilet, vomiting over and over as if it would rid his body of that monster's touch or the guilt of not fighting back for a second time. The cell was small enough that Hoppus only had to turn in his chair to be able to rub Josh's back as he threw up.

"It's going to be okay," his dad promised him again carefully. "I'm gonna take care of you. I'm always gonna take care of you."

When Josh was finally able to wipe his mouth and flush the mess down, his dad watched over him while he brushed his teeth again and washed his hands before climbing back into bed. Just like he had every other time, Hoppus tucked him back into bed without hesitation or complaint. Josh curled up in a ball and allowed his dad to pull the blankets up to his chin for him.

"Why do you still want to be my dad when I've fucked up so many times?" Josh asked weakly, watching his dad closely.

Hoppus smiled as he brushed Josh's hair back off of his forehead with gentle fingertips. "Because there is no part of who you are that isn't worth loving and forgiving," he replied easily, making Josh's breath catch in his chest a little bit. "And you know what? Anyone who doesn't see it that way doesn't deserve to be in your life. You have endured so much shit just to be right here where I can love you and be your dad, and I am so proud of you for doing that. I am so proud of you for fighting even when it feels hopeless sometimes. You blow my mind every day with how fucking resilient you are. I mean, Josh, you grew up behind bars. You grew up being yelled at by guards and having to sleep in cells with kids who meant to commit the crimes they did, and you're still smart and funny and kind. You're my fucking hero. Why wouldn't I want to be your dad?"

Josh studied his dad's face, trying to find the lie behind the words but coming up empty. Finally, he replied, "You're my hero too."

His dad's smile widened. "Here. Sit up for a second."

It hurt to move around too much, but Josh did as he was told. He exhaled a breath of relief when he was immediately wrapped up in a hug. He hugged back, resting his head on Hoppus's shoulder and allowing himself to be held despite the flicker of anxiety that was awakened by the touch.

"I can't promise you that this is going to get any easier any time soon," his dad told him quietly, "but I can promise you that you're never ever going to be alone in this because you have a family who loves you unconditionally. No matter what you're going through, we're here for you, without judgment or blame. Okay?"

Josh nodded against his dad's shoulder, ignoring the pain radiating throughout his own shoulder with every second he spent with his arms wrapped around his dad. "Okay," he agreed in a whisper.

"And you know what else?" Hoppus asked gently.

Josh hummed a response, feeling his eyelids growing heavier and heavier with every passing moment. He finally closed them when he felt his dad's fingers soothe through his hair.

"I really hope Jack grows up to be like you," his dad told him, sincerity dripping from every word.

A tired smile tugged at the corners of Josh's lips. "Dad?" He whispered. "I love you."

Warmth flooded him alongside pain when his dad's arms squeezed around him a little tighter. "I love you too, Josh. So much. You have no idea."

Josh sniffled. "Will you protect me a little longer so I can try to sleep again? My head hurts so bad."

"Absolutely," Hoppus agreed without hesitation. "I'm not going anywhere."

He helped Josh to lie back down, tucking him in for the millionth time as well. Josh was still shaking as he took one of Hoppus's hands in his own again and burrowed down into his pillow, feeling Hoppus rub his back again. He took a deep breath and let it out, telling himself over and over again that he was safe now, no matter how far fetched that seemed.

"If you need anything, you just let me know. I'll be right here keeping an eye out for you," Hoppus promised calmly. "You just focus on having some better dreams, and I'll take care of everything else. And if you have a nightmare again, I'll be right here to help you through it. No matter what, I'm here for you."

Josh yawned, nodding sleepily. "Thanks, Dad," he murmured.

"Thanks for letting me be your dad," Hoppus replied quietly.

Josh squeezed his hand, trying to focus on the comfort being offered to him instead of the fear that was still eating away at him. "You're the best dad I've ever had," Josh told him honestly.

"You're tied with Jack for the best son I've ever had," Hoppus informed Josh, making him smile again. "Goodnight, buddy. Sweet dreams."

"Goodnight, Dad," Josh whispered, already half asleep.

Even if Josh woke up screaming six more times that night, he felt a tiny bit better than he had before. At least he was waking up each time with someone there to protect him and love him through every panic attack and breakdown before soothing him back to sleep. Hoppus never lost patience with him either. He was always kind and gentle as he helped Josh back to sleep, telling him over again how safe and loved he was.

It wasn't until well after five in the morning that Josh was finally able to sleep through the night. His body and mind were so exhausted that he slept through the buzzer that was meant to wake him up, sleeping well last noon. Still, his dad hadn't left his side when he woke up. Josh had no idea how he was going to survive this, but it did help to know he wouldn't have to do it alone.