***Trigger warning for mentions of abuse, domestic violence, abortion, and miscarriage.***

Start the song. It's Mary by Big Thief.

Having Frangipane around made the anniversary of the fire much less painful for Josh. She came into his cell like she had the day before, dropping a handful of mini Snickers on his face to wake him up before climbing into bed beside him and kissing his forehead. He only had her for a few hours in the morning, but during those hours, he didn't think about the fire or the people who'd died in it at all. All he could think about was the woman beside him, allowing him to completely violate her personal space whenever he needed to.

At the moment, they were playing Go Fish again. One of her boot-clad feet rested in Josh's lap although she was sitting on the chair beside his bed. He held his cards in one hand and her foot in the other, only releasing his grip on her steel-toed boot whenever he needed to hand her a card or draw one from the pile beside him. Frangipane didn't complain at all.

"Twos?" Frangipane asked calmly, smiling when Josh handed over a two of clubs. "Can I tell you a secret in exchange for this two?" She added as she accepted the card, sticking it into her deck and peering a bit timidly over her cards at Josh.

"Yeah, of course," Josh replied easily, fairly used to being the place secrets were buried and left to rot.

"You're allowed to say no, and you can tell me a secret of your own if you want to so this isn't a one-sided exchange," Frangipane insisted carefully, making the corners of Josh's lips twitch just slightly.

"It's cool. I don't mind listening," Josh reassured her. "I'm sure I'll tell you more shit later."

She nodded, looking a little bit less sure of herself now that the time had come for her to actually say her secret out loud. When she hesitated, Josh set his cards down, giving her his full attention. His hand left her boot to hold her ankle loosely, his thumb rubbing the bump of the bone there softly. Frangipane swallowed nervously.

"I'm doing something tomorrow that my husband would probably kill me over if he found out about it, but I don't really feel like I have another choice," she admitted in a fearful whisper.

Josh's hand didn't leave her ankle. He nodded slightly, studying her face carefully. "If you feel like you're making the right choice, he shouldn't stand in your way."

Frangipane let out a sigh, setting her cards down on the mattress and wiping a hand down her face in frustration before looking helplessly at Josh. "If he was supportive of me in any way, I wouldn't even have to be doing this," she insisted, clearly incredibly distressed about this. Tears were forming in her eyes as she whispered, "Josh, I want to be a mom someday, but not with him. I can't have a baby with him. How the hell could I keep a baby alive with him around?"

Josh thought of his little sister visiting to tell him about her miscarriage. From what he'd heard, it sounded like Andrew wouldn't be a bad father or anything, yet Ashley had lost her baby. Now Frangipane was having to actively end her pregnancy because of what a piece of shit her husband was. It didn't seem fair for either of them to be in situations like this.

"It's your choice," Josh reminded her. "If you don't think this is the best time for you to have a baby or the right environment for a baby to be in, you get to make that call. It's not up to him, especially if he can't even treat his wife right. He doesn't deserve to have a baby with you."

Frangipane sniffled, nodding slightly. She groaned suddenly in frustration. "God, I wish I could just get away from him instead of having to do this, but even if I left him, he'd find me. Plus, I wouldn't have money or anything if I left him. My pay check wouldn't be enough to raise a baby on, and I wouldn't be able to work full-time here and support a baby by myself at the same time."

Josh wasn't sure how to help. He couldn't exactly say he'd help her with her kid or anything. He was going to be incarcerated for the foreseeable future, and it wasn't like he was making any money sitting around in solitary. There wasn't really anything he could do at this point.

"Can I hug you?" He asked her after a moment, immediately winding up with a lapful of crying prison guard. He held her though, letting her cry against his shoulder and cling to the back of his shirt. "I wish I could fix this for you, but I don't know how. I'll support whatever choice you make though, and you can always come see me if you need a hug or whatever."

"I don't want you to think that I'm a murderer or something," she sobbed out.

Josh shook his head, rubbing her back and pressing a kiss to the top of her head. "Hey, don't. You're not.... Fuck, dude. I've got more blood on my hands than you ever will, and I wasn't trying to help anyone when I did what I did. You're trying to stay alive, and no one should be forcing you to keep another person alive while you do that. You aren't a murderer, okay? Not to me."

Frangipane's arms wound tightly around his waist as she buried her face against his chest. "You aren't either," she whispered quietly. She sniffled before lifting her head and nudging her nose against his, meeting his concerned gaze with a solemn smile. "Thank you for being my best friend, Josh."

Josh nodded, gently pushing her bright blue bangs to the side so they didn't hang in her eyes so much. "Thanks for being mine," he replied sincerely.

"As much as I want to be selfish and steal your first kiss right now, I'm just gonna settle for this," she told him quietly before turning his head to the side and pressing a lingering kiss to his cheek.

The skin on Josh's cheek was still tingling with relief when Frangipane climbed back into the folding chair by his bed and picked up her cards. "Your turn," she told him as he picked up his cards as well.

It was hard to regain focus as Josh looked at his cards again. "Sevens?" He asked after a moment, receiving two of them.

The game progressed normally for at least ten minutes, giving Frangipane time to calm down and get comfortable again. Just when Josh opened his mouth to ask her if this meant he wouldn't see her tomorrow, there was a buzzing sound, and his cell door opened.

A guard with blond hair and a lazy eye stepped into the cell, taking his handcuffs off his belt as he said in a bored tone, "You've got visitors. Let's go."

Josh's heart stopped in his chest. "Visitors? Plural?" He asked in a small voice.

"That's what I said. Do you want a fucking grammar lesson, or do you want to put this shit on so you can go see them?" The guard snapped, tossing Josh a familiar orange jumpsuit.

Josh was too excited to be embarrassed about having to dress in front of Frangipane as he climbed off of the bed and immediately changed into the jumpsuit. He was even more excited when Frangipane convinced the asshole guard to let her bring Josh to the visiting room, cuffing Josh's hands behind his back and leading him from the cell before the other guard really had a chance to respond.

"Who do you think it is?" She asked Josh with a supportive smile as she led him through the prison.

"Definitely my m-m-mom. My da-dad visits sometimes on the anni-an-anniversary. It might be b-both of them. I don't know though. I haven't seen him in forever," Josh replied quickly, too anxious about seeing his family to realize he was stuttering.

Frangipane didn't point it out to him, just smiling and ignoring the shouts of other inmates they passed. If Josh was paying more attention, he'd probably have realized that the majority of the shouting was catcalls directed at Frangipane instead of hate being hurled at him. He didn't care what they said about him at the moment though, so he didn't listen. He could start listening again when he saw his mom.

The buzzer sounded when they reached the door to the visitation room, and the door opened. The first thing Josh saw was his mom, which made his face light up immediately. She gave him a tired smile as he was uncuffed, but it wasn't until Frangipane stepped out of the way for him to sit down that he saw the other visitor.

For a second, Josh didn't even recognize her, and not just because of her black eye. She was beaming at him, but he hadn't exactly placed her yet, looking to his mom for help as he sat down.

"Your sister got in a fight at school today," his mom said simply, sounding just as drained as she looked. "I figured I'd show her where that leads."

Josh's eyebrows drew together in confusion for a moment before it hit him. "Holy shit. Abbie?" He asked, looking at the little girl beside his mom with wide eyes. As soon as he said her name, he could see the resemblance between the girl in front of him and the girl in the picture that had been tucked into that letter.

She beamed at Josh as if he was the best thing in the entire world. "Hi!" She exclaimed. "You have no idea how much I've missed you."

He let her grab his hand from where it sat on top of the table so the guards could easily see it. His little sister drew in a shaky breath, turning his hand over and examining it closely as she touched it with tiny fingers that were softer than anything he'd felt in eight years. His tiny baby sister was here, and she wasn't so tiny anymore. She was a teenager. She had a black eye.

"Believe me. I've missed you more," he told her honestly, still too stunned by her presence to say much else. "I got your letter."

Abbie grinned. "Did you read it?" She asked hopefully.

"Yeah, definitely," Josh assured her, smiling when she interlocked her fingers with his. "No one told me you could draw like that, by the way. You're fucking amazing."

"Language, Joshua," his mother reminded him. "She's thirteen."

"Right. Sorry," Josh replied instantly although his sister rolled her eyes, drawing Josh's attention back to the bruising around one of them. "So what exactly did you get in a fight over?"

His sister glanced at their mother and then back at him before saying, "My science teacher said overpopulation is contributing to holes in the ozone, so the girl behind me said I should kill myself to clear some room. I punched her in the face, and she punched me back."

Josh raised his eyebrows. "Brutal," he commented, earning a glare from his mother. He tried to redeem himself. "You didn't try to say anything to her first? You just went straight to punching?"

"Some people deserve to get punched," Abbie confirmed.

Although that response made Josh laugh, he shook his head. "Cool, so you won't mind sleeping in a place like this when you grow up? Sharing a room with some chick who thinks some people deserve to be stabbed and having an audience every time you have to shower or go to the bathroom? It's not all sunshine and roses in here, buddy. I can promise you that."

"One fight isn't going to land me in prison," Abbie replied amusedly.

"This is her sixth this year," Josh's mother informed him, making his eyebrows raise.

He hummed, squeezing Abbie's hand before patiently asking her, "What's up with that?"

Their mother gave him an exasperated look, clearly not approving of how he was handling this situation. He wasn't sure what she wanted from him though. How was he supposed to help a little girl he hadn't seen in five years? All he could really think to do was talk to her like Hoppus talked to him.

If Abbie saw their mother's frustration with Josh, she didn't show it. She just shrugged slightly, looking a little bit embarrassed. "I don't know. I just got really mad. That girl treats me like shit all the time," she kept talking before their mother could correct her language, "and I'm so sick of not being able to fight back. I don't know. I know I shouldn't fight her, but she'll just keep talking to me like that if I don't say something."

Josh nodded, giving her an understanding smile. "Yeah, I know the feeling. I guess you've just gotta decide if what she thinks about you is worth getting thrown out of school or arrested for," he told her in what he hoped was a warm tone.

He glanced at his mom, finding that she looked a little bit gobsmacked by his response. She gave him an approving smile when Abbie huffed and said, "Yeah, I guess you're right."

"From what I've heard and read about you, you're a little too smart and way too talented to be rotting away in a place like this just because some chick in middle school talks shit on you. I get it though. Middle school sucked for me too, but the only thing worse than middle school is going to middle school in juvie, so do what you can to avoid that," Josh added.

His mother didn't say anything about him swearing, just continuing to look at him like she couldn't believe he was capable of getting Abbie to listen to him. She looked proud of him too, which was an extremely rare experience for Josh.

"Jordan said high school is a different kind of sucky but that nothing is worse than middle school," Abbie informed Josh.

He smiled slightly, "Well, I never went to a normal high school, so I can't really confirm that. I can tell you though that I'd rather go back to middle school than be where I'm at right now. At least you get to go home at the end of the day and eat Mom's cooking and go outside. I'm pretty jealous that you get to do all of that."

"In June, you can come home and do all that stuff," Abbie insisted, making him smile again.

"Yeah, hopefully," he replied, allowing his mom to take the hand Abbie wasn't holding so she could massage his wrist. "That'd be nice."

"What do you miss most about home?" Abbie asked curiously.

Josh took a deep breath before letting it out, not really having to think about his answer. "I miss everything really, but I miss you guys the most. I think about you guys every day. It sucks not being able to see you guys whenever I want or to fucking...hug you guys. Not a lot of hugging opportunities in prison."

"You didn't like hugs when you were Abbie's age," his mom told him solemnly. "You didn't like to be touched at all."

"Yeah, but that was before I knew I'd spend eight years all by myself in a tiny room with no one to touch," Josh pointed out, his chest feeling tight.

Abbie squeezed his hand tighter. "The guards said I can't hug you because they have to be able to see your hands. Otherwise, I would've already hugged you a million times."

He chuckled, rubbing her thumb lightly with his. "Thanks, bud," he told her, making her smile widely. "I want you to promise me two things, okay?" He informed her seriously.

She nodded. "Yeah, okay."

"Number one, no more fighting. Either use your words, or get out of there. You can't throw your future away because of some stupid middle school girl who's taking her insecurities out on you," Josh instructed carefully.

Abbie sighed, but nodded anyway. "Okay. Yeah. I promise."

Josh nodded, smiling encouragingly at her. "Okay, and second, when you get out of here, I want you to make a snowball and fucking chuck it as far as you can for me. Don't throw it at a person or anything. Just throw it, and write me a letter about how far it goes and how it feels in your hand. Deal?"

His little sister laughed, and his mom was smiling at him in a way that she hadn't since before he'd been arrested. "I can definitely do that," Abbie promised him with a grin. "Josh, I can't wait for you to come home. I love you so much. It's gonna be so amazing to have my big brother back."

It was impossible not to smile at that, and his mom seemed genuinely surprised to see his actual full smile for the first time in eight years. "I love you too. I promise I'm doing what I can to make it home in June. If not though, I'll just have to be better at writing back to you. It was awesome to hear from you. I thought you would've forgotten about me by now."

Guilt immediately crossed his mother's face, and he knew it was just sinking in for her how deeply it had hurt him to lose contact with all of his siblings. She didn't apologize, but she did look like she was about to cry. Josh eased his wrist out of her grip, holding her hand instead as he listened to Abbie speak.

"Definitely not. I think about you pretty much all the time, and I miss you constantly. Sometimes I wonder what advice you'd give me in sucky situations and stuff, and I wish I could talk to you about things that bother me. I feel like you'd probably listen and understand," Abbie informed him quietly.

"Yeah, I'm pretty good at that," Josh replied with a slight smile, feeling his mom squeeze his hand as he spoke. "Besides, the whole point of being a big brother is making sure your little siblings don't make the same mistakes you did. I set the bar pretty damn low for you guys, so I've got a feeling it'll be pretty easy for me to be proud of you for the rest of your life. That is, unless you keep heading down the same path I did, which I can promise you isn't a fun one."

Abbie nodded, looking down at their connected hands for a moment before looking up at Josh and admitting, "I really want you to be proud of me."

He smiled at her. "I'm always proud of you, Abbie. You're capable of much better things than you give yourself credit for, but you can't do that stuff if you're locked up like me, so I need you to take care of yourself. If I get out in June, I promise I'll help you do that, but until then, you've gotta take care of my baby sister for me. Can you do that?"

"Yeah, I promise," Abbie replied easily, smiling when Josh lifted her hand off of the table and kissed the back of it before setting it back down, never letting go of it. "I'm gonna keep writing you letters too, if that's okay."

Their mom cleared her throat, making Josh's anxiety spike. She wasn't going to force Abbie to stop writing to him after only one letter, was she? Josh hadn't even been able to respond yet. He wanted to talk to Abbie so badly. He wanted to talk to his baby sister.

"Maybe you two can talk to each other on the phone every now and then," their mother suggested, looking apologetically at Josh, who felt like his heart was about to burst inside his chest from excitement and relief. "I think Abbie would benefit a lot from being able to talk to her big brother, especially since you're clearly a good influence for her right now."

"Seriously?" Josh asked disbelievingly, holding Abbie's hand a little tighter as if he was fully expecting her to be ripped away from his grasp at any moment.

Their mother nodded, smiling warmly at him. "Seriously," she confirmed. "You're a good big brother. She should have you in her life."

Josh smiled so wide that his cheeks hurt, and Abbie looked just as elated by this news. Since the only guard in the room right now was Frangipane, no one scolded him when he leaned across the small metal table and hugged Abbie tightly. She hugged him back just as tightly, making him smile impossibly wider. He held her for a minute before releasing her and sitting back down, allowing her to instantly commandeer his hand again.

Their mother was smiling, but there were still tears in her eyes. Josh kissed her hand like he'd kissed Abbie's. "I love you," he told her, making her chuckle and place a kiss to the back of his hand as well.

"I love you too, Joshua," she replied softly. "I'm proud of you. You've grown so much since you came here. You keep surprising me."

"You think I'll get to come home in June?" Josh asked curiously, not willing to get his hopes up about her response.

His mother offered him a reassuring smile. "Oh, I'm sure of it. I've started replacing the clothes in your closet with ones that will actually fit you. Abbie's claimed just about all of your old clothes already."

Josh laughed. "Yeah, that's okay. She can have whatever she wants from my room. I don't mind."

Abbie beamed. "Thanks, Josh."

"No problem," Josh replied easily, prompting his mom to give him another proud smile.

He looked up when Frangipane cleared her throat. She looked regretful as she told him, "Only a couple minutes left. You've gotta say your goodbyes."

Anxiety welled up inside of Josh when he looked at his family again, and he felt a little relieved to see the same sentiment visible in Abbie's expression. His mother sighed, standing from the table and walking around it, guiding Josh to stand up before hugging him tightly. He hugged back without hesitation, needing more than anything for her to hold him steady for a while longer.

"I love you. You take care of yourself," his mother told him seriously. "I'll let Abbie call you in a couple days."

"Thank you," Josh replied sincerely. "I love you too."

His mother squeezed him tightly one more time before releasing him, gesturing for Abbie to come hug him too without looking to Frangipane for permission. Frangipane didn't correct her, allowing Abbie to practically run to hug Josh. His little sister laughed when he picked her up easily, pressing a kiss to her cheek before reminding her, "Don't forget what you promised me, okay?"

Abbie clung to him where her arms were wrapped around his neck, her feet dangling a sizeable distance from the floor. "No more fighting. Throw a snowball for you," she remembered with a smile.

"That's right. And write me about the snowball. I wanna hear all about it," he added.

She laughed. "Okay. I promise I will. I love you."

"I love you too," Josh replied easily. "Make me proud, okay?"

Abbie nodded, burying her face against his neck for just a second. "You smell the same," she told him quietly, making him smile slightly.

"Good. I've been wondering about that," he told her honestly. He sighed, setting her back down on the floor and ruffling her fiery hair. "Good luck with school. It's gonna suck for a while, but I know you're gonna be just fine in the end. You're a tough kid, and you've got lots of people who love you and want you to succeed."

"Change school to prison, and the same is true for you," Abbie pointed out to him, making his heart swell.

He smiled at her, pulling her into one more hug and pressing a kiss to the top of her head before releasing. "Thanks, kid."

"I'll let her call you in a couple weeks when she isn't grounded anymore, okay?" His mom told him.

Josh laughed. "Sounds about right."

"I love you," his mother reminded him, already ushering Abbie toward the door.

"I love you too," he replied, allowing Frangipane to cuff his hands behind his back once again.

"I love you!" Abbie reminded him as well, making him smile.

"I love you too!" He chuckled out.

As soon as his mother and sister were out of sight and he was being led through the prison again, he felt sick to his stomach. He didn't trust this mom to actually let him talk to Abbie again, and he didn't trust himself to be a good big brother to her either. He was quiet when Frangipane uncuffed him in his cell, not pushing him to talk. Once the cuffs were back on her belt, she hugged him tightly, pulling him down to hide his face in the crook of her neck as she cradled the back of his head with one hand.

"You'll be home soon," she promised him softly. "You won't have to feel like this anymore."

Josh squeezed his eyes shut. "You won't be here tomorrow, will you?" He asked quietly.

Frangipane sighed. "I'll be gone for a couple days. I'll need a little while to recover from...everything. I got clearance to come see you in solitary though once you get off watch, so you'll still see me when I come back."

"Promise?" He asked in a small voice.

Frangipane nodded without hesitation. "I'm not gonna leave you, Josh. You're my best friend. I'll come see you as soon as I get back. I swear."

Josh nodded even though he didn't feel ready to believe her. "Okay," he replied quietly.

She saw right through that though. "Hey. No. I'm not lying to you. I'm gonna miss you so fucking much while I'm gone. Hanging out with you is my absolute favourite part of every day, and I'm always so grateful when I get to see you. I'm gonna be thinking about you the whole time I'm gone."

"No, you'll be busy," Josh replied quietly, sitting down on his bed dejectedly.

Frangipane was quiet for a moment before she walked over to the bed, climbing up into his lap and holding his face in her hands so he had no choice but to look her in the eye. She smiled sadly at him. "Believe me. I'm going to spend the whole day wishing you were the one there to help me through all of this shit."

"I'm sorry I can't," he told her honestly, making her shake her head before resting her forehead against his shoulder and drawing in a deep breath.

"Can I tell you one more secret?" She whispered timorously.

"Yeah, of course," Josh replied quietly, holding her close against his chest.

"When I saw you with your little sister today, I sort of wished this was your baby because then I'd be able to keep it without being afraid the dad would hurt it," she whispered against his shoulder.

Josh sighed, hugging her a little closer. He glanced at the door before telling her, "I couldn't really do much to help you from in here if it was."

She huffed, nuzzling a little closer to him so her nose touched his neck. "Yeah, and I'd lose my job for sure if that was the case."

"True," he agreed, rubbing her back gently as he considered that. "I wouldn't want you to lose your job. Then I couldn't see you every day."

"True," she agreed. She sighed. "Add that to the list of things we'd probably do if things were different."

Josh chuckled humourlessly. "It's turning into pretty extensive list."

He felt her smile before pressing a kiss to his neck. "It really is." She let out a deep breath before sitting up and deciding, "Okay, well, I guess we should get you into your other clothes. I'll stand over there while you change and pretend I'm not staring at your back muscles in awe."

Josh laughed. "Deal."

She smiled, handing him his modified uniform that showed he was on watch. It was similar to hospital scrubs, dark blue instead of orange. He hadn't been forced to wear the stupid paper hospital gown for a couple days now. He strongly preferred this over the gown.

True to her word, Frangipane gave him space to change, pretending she wasn't looking when he looked over his shoulder at her a bit self-consciously. As soon as he was dressed, she climbed back onto the metal folding chair beside his bed. He sat back down on his bed, and they picked up their cards, resuming their game. For the first time in eight years, he felt okay on the anniversary. That is, until Frangipane went home, leaving him all alone with a guard who didn't give a shit about him. He counted it as a win though because he woke up the next morning in his bed instead of the infirmary.