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Hello everyone, thank you so much for the comments and votes on the prologue. Hopefully you will like my first chapter as well. Thank you and don't forget to vote!

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It was like a bad dream I couldn't wake up from, everything had happened so fast. I took my time walking out of the hospital, replaying in my mind the events that had happened. Walking in an abnormally slow pace, it took nearly an hour just to walk back to my car when it should have only taken a couple minutes.

As I made my way outside, I held the door open for a man holding roses, with a 'get well' card on the side. I suddenly grew jealous of that man. At least he can see his loved ones without being told to go away. 

As I approached the car, I saw my brother, Mason leaning on it. We shared the car and we would usually take turns, but he insisted on driving me today. It was his anniversary with his girlfriend and he didn't want me joyriding when he needed the car. His eyes snapped in my direction, narrowing at the sight of me. Why is everyone mad at me today?

"Where the hell have you been!" He yelled, his voice echoing in the parking lot. 

"I went to the moon, because that's where you clearly go, once you enter the hospital," I said in a pissed off tone.

Without waiting for his response, I opened the door to the passenger's side and went in. I didn't want, or have the energy, to bicker with him. With the morning that I had, all I wanted to do was go home and cry some more. It took a while for him to follow, finally getting the message. Once in the car he continued to interrogate me, oblivious to my current state of mind.

"MASON, enough!" I said exasperated. It was a bad idea bringing him along. I should have gone against my better judgement and just walked. I would've had more time to wallow in sadness. 

He stayed quiet for a bit, "How is he?" He asked in a soft whisper, turning his attention to me. 

Suddenly the water works were back. The littlest things were making me sad and cry. I quickly turned my attention to the scenery, letting the tears silently fall. Thankfully he never tried to talk to me again after that.

Mason kept glancing my way, looking like he wanted to say something, but he didn't utter a single word.

I sighed in relief as our house came into view. Mason and I have been living on our own for almost a year. We were both legal to live on our own, but decided to stay together since all we had was each other. Our parents had abandoned us when I was five, Mason was only ten at that time. He was older and took It the hardest when they left, so I tried not to add onto his problems. Our grandmother had taken us in.  She was the kindest and most caring person I knew. I idolized her a lot, and it broke my heart when she passed away.

As we got closer he kept stealing glances my way, looking uncertain. With one last look at me, he gave a tired sigh and instead of pulling into the drive way, he drove straight, turned left and back into the main road. 

"Mason, you just passed our house," I said finally turning my head to look at him.

"I know," he said in a duh tone, rolling his eyes at me. Not wanting to know what goes on his creepy little head, I sat silently without retaliation. The silence in the car was painful. All I could think about was John, although, it hadn't been long since I last saw him. Did he hate me now? Was he mad that I kissed him? Did he care who I was?

I was so deep in thought I hadn't realized that the car had stopped and was parked in front of large bushes that acted as fences around the area. The place seemed familiar, but all hedges looked the same to me.

"Where are we?" I asked, stepping out of the car. Mason gave a small smiled and started walking ahead of me. I followed quietly behind him, keeping my distance. Mason stopped just before the entrance, letting me guess where he had taken me. The entrance was beautiful, there was a wooden arch with vines wrapped all around it and hanging down was a sign that read 'Northland Rosarium'. It was a rose garden grandmother used to work at. We used to come almost every day, but I haven't been here since she passed away.

"I thought you had a date with Jenny," I asked remembering that he had other plans. 

"I told her I was spending the day with you." He shrugged. I felt guilty, I really liked her. Jenny was Masons age and lived next door. The three of us basically grew up together. She and Mason ended up dating while they were in high school and even after college they were still together. I had always wanted that type of relationship and I didn't want to cause a problem between them. 

As if feeling my hesitation, Mason nudged me forward, "It's okay, she understands," he said reassuringly. 

I gulped and nodded slowly stepping into the garden. The scent of roses was everywhere. Nothing had changed, everything was as I had remembered it. There were areas which each rose was organized by their specific color and some were bunched up like rainbows. Each colored rose had a different meaning, and that's what I loved about them. A person automatically knows, that a red rose means love. The colors gave different stories and different moods. It was memorizing, being there again was overwhelming.

Again, tears flowed down my face. Damn, the atmosphere the garden was creating, made me feel sad and too comfortable. Not wanting to cause a scene in public, I bit my lip slightly stopping the sob that was in my throat. Mason's eyes widened looking horrified. No matter how big of a problem, I always tried to resolve it or avoid it, after all, crying or feeling down did nothing to help with a situation. But with John's accident, I felt helpless and vulnerable.

Suddenly, Mason hugged me, gently stroking my hair. I stood there for a moment, feeling shocked, trying to absorb what had just happened. Mason and I were close, but It was more of a love-hate relationship, people usually had with their siblings.

"It's okay, I'm here," he said softly. Nodding in reply, I closed my eyes as I clutched onto his shirt, hugging him back. His presence gave me comfort and reassurance. It made me want to entrust all my worries to him, and I did. I openly sobbed, crying hysterically. Letting all the pain and hurt I felt, from the morning, come out.

"I lost him Mase, I lost him," I managed to blurt out before sobbing again. I couldn't remember the last time I had cried in front of him, but it seemed to have brought us closer together. 

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Exhausted, I collapsed onto my bed. It felt so good to be in bed, I was sleep deprived all week, busy from all the nonstop working and studying I had done. Keeping myself busy was an efficient way to stop myself from crying or feeling sad. This was the best thing for me right now. I had tried to reach out to John, called him and texted him but he never answered nor responded. Shuffling in my bed I tried to get comfortable, I deserved a nice nap. Just as I was about to fall asleep, my door flew open.

"You're still here?!" Mason said barging into my room. All week he had been pestering me to visit John. To be honest I wanted to see how he was doing, but seeing him would have been too much. 

"I'm not ready," I replied rolling my eyes at him. He had considerably gotten more annoying. After confiding in him about my situation, he suddenly went into big brother mode, trying to fix my problems.

"You're being selfish." He sighed sitting down on the foot of my bed. I propped myself up, raising an eyebrow at him, "How was I being selfish by giving him space."

"You know, he's probably sad that you haven't gone to see him," he shrugged, pulling the blanket off me. 

"I called him multiple times throughout the week, and not once has he answered or called back," I told him, my eyes already starting to water. Quickly, I hid my face from view, feeling the hot tears roll down my cheek. It hurt to say it out loud. To know that John didn't know or love me anymore hurt. Mason looked at me sadly and sighed in surrender.

"Yea, that's what I thought," I whispered and grabbed my blanket back, putting it over my head. Great, after my small conversation with him, it brought my thought back to John. Now, I couldn't even enjoy a peaceful nap. After a couple of minutes, I heard him groan and leave.

Even If I went to him it would be awkward. Kissing him out of the blue was such a big mistake, because of that, I wouldn't know what to say to him or how to act towards him. Why don't I think before doing things? Such a stupid and bad judgement on my part.

Not long after he left, I heard a soft knock on my door, followed by my door opening. I groaned burying my head in the pillow. Doesn't he give up, privacy is hard to get when you live with family.  

I looked up, to tell him off when I saw Jenny instead.

"Oh, hi Jen," I sat up, surprised to see her. She smiled warmly and went to sit beside me.

"I'm sorry about your anniversary last week," I blurted out before she could say anything. I didn't want her to hate me. She looked taken back by my apology and waved it off dismissively.

"That's okay. I'm sorrier to you. I heard about John, you okay?" She softly asked. 

"Managing," I told her honestly. "Did Mason ask you to come over?" I already knew the answer but asked her anyway.

"He said you were drowning," she chuckled lightly at the memory. I looked at her confused.

"Yea, he called saying that I needed to come right away then hung up. Naturally, I got worried, but apparently you were drowning in your tears and he didn't know what to do," she explained laughing in between her words.

"Mason was over reacting," I chuckled. Guys don't deal well with girls crying.  

Jenny was so lovely. I love having her around, she was like an older sister and she put my mind at ease. It is so much easier to talk to another girl about my problems. As much as I appreciated Mason and all his efforts, it was difficult to talk to him, especially if he always got tongue tied whenever he tried to help.

"Wait, so you haven't gone to see him again?!" she exclaimed, almost sounding mad. We had spent the last hour talking about my last visit to John.

I nodded at her, "Even if I wanted to his mom forbid me," I mumbled.

"You're just using that as an excuse not to see him," she said pointedly. Naturally she was right. John's mom told me daily to stay away, but I never did listen.

"I just don't know what I'll do once I'm there," I told her honestly, hugging my pillow. The thought of seeing John made me worry.

"He really needs you right now, more than ever. " she said raising her voice slightly. I shook my head at her, she's clearly wrong about that.

"Maybe this is for the best," deep down I did not want to believe that, but sooner or later I had to admit it to myself.

"Stop with this self pity, you're stronger than this," She crossed her arms glaring at me, "besides, didn't you say, he kissed you back?" She said sitting herself directly in front of me.

"Natural guy instinct?" I replied to her nervously. She was more tenacious than Mason.

"Leah," She rolled her eyes at me, gripping both my knees. "Think about how he feels right now."

"I think if I was him, I would not want to see the random girl who kissed me. He probably even hates me right now." I emphasized 'random' reminding her that as of now, I was a stranger to him.

"No, you're wrong. I'm sure that he's lonely right now. With the type of family that he has..." she gave a disappointed look but quickly remembered her point," I meant he needs to feel genuine love and care," She said to me.

I mentally slapped myself. How could I have been so selfish? Poor John, He doesn't remember anything and I had completely left him alone. He was probably having a hard time coping with his situation. "So, what should I do?" I asked her eagerly, realization hitting me.

"You should go visit him, regardless, of the fact that you might get thrown out," She nodded at me, pleased with her idea. I looked at her nervously. The guy his mom had hired to guard him, might end up killing me if he saw me. He was terrifying! 

As if she could read my mind she waved her hand in my face, "Don't worry, big terrifying guys are usually, soft-kind hearted teddy bears," She told me reassuringly.

Yea, because bears are such kind animals that rip people apart. I looked at Jenny who just had a big smile plastered on her face... she's sending me to my death!

"What will I do if he doesn't want to see me?" I asked, shaking off any second thoughts.

"Well, it's a little too much to expect him to return the feelings he used," She was now pacing back and forth in my room talking to herself, "Not in his current situation," It was hard to follow all the things she was saying but I nodded at the parts I did understand.

"For now, just be his friend," She said smiling at me then ushering me out the door. I groaned, for such a sweet, kind person, she was also very bossy. Never the less, I grabbed the keys and began heading out. Hopefully, Jenny and Mason were right, about him wanting to see me. I sighed, being his friend was going to be a lot easier said than done.