I don't like putting my problems out in the world because I enjoy my privacy, but sometimes I just need to write this out.

Don't ask me why I'm doing it here. My answer to that would be, "I don't know."

It's not a big problem it's just...if I'm not careful (which I thought I was this last time...) it will get worse. Maybe writing this here would make it worse, but I also need to make it public.

Also, I need to hold myself accountable (again, I thought I was this last time, but no!) and cut the ties and be done because this isn't healthy. I've spent the last few weeks really thinking.

Yes, I've been busy, but I also distanced myself because I can't. I won't. I've thought it over long and hard. I can't and will not be with you.

Yes, I'm talking to you. I know this is a difficult time for you and you don't like to communicate through text but I'm done accommodating your needs and ignoring my own.

I know this will hurt you and I apologize for that. I'd rather this hurt you now than a lifetime of hurt.

You're not good for me. You might see that I'm good for you, but I can't.

We're like fire and gasoline. I'm done being burnt when the flames die down.

Yeah, things are good for a week or two (maybe not even that), but then I'm reminded of why we can't be together. It's so obvious that I find myself thinking love potions are a thing because this isn't love that I feel towards you.

I know that you hate to communicate through text, but I communicate better this way and I'm done being silent.

I'm done biting my tongue because I don't want to fight you or for you to pull me towards you again only for the cycle to happen again.

I was going to wait for this conversation and have us speak like adults, only that never solved anything when it came to you.

You showing up yesterday made my hold on the situation spiral out of control.

I was going to wait, but clearly, I can't anymore.

Don't show up unannounced because the truth is my family didn't know we were talking again because I didn't want them to.

I wanted to give you a chance without anyone else around to give their opinion on the situation.

I tested the waters again (for how many times now?) and I don't want to drown again not when I'm starting to finally see my goals becoming a reality.

I spent the time to see where we would go and we will be back where we ended up last time. We aren't good together.

We keep living in this circle and I'm ending it once and for all.

I don't regret us starting to talk again this last time, I do regret where I allowed the conversation to go.

I'm breaking this off permanently. For at least my sake because I'm done silently bleeding over here while I accommodate for you because you love me.

That's not enough. The past and present are showing me that the future will be no better.

I hope you have a great life. Everyone was right, you need to move on.

Please don't call, text, or send a video trying to explain yourself.

Don't pull my family into this either.

This is between you and me. And I'm ending it now before more people get involved than the first time.

I wish you the best.

If you want to say something, I'd rather you comment on here because the only way that I can make sure that you can't talk me out of doing this for my sake is by keeping it public.

I deleted Marco Polo and will not be answering any calls or texts.

If you want to talk, comment on here. Don't get anyone else involved for your sake.

Again, I apologize for hurting you, that was never my intention.

~MsPenguingirl1234.

Published: June 22, 2020.