This whole year has been one thing after another.

I'm usually pretty resilient when it comes to most things, but this is making me sick to my stomach.

I have a midterm tomorrow.

I haven't really studied for it. We have had the material for this midterm for a month now and I haven't studied any of it until a little bit this past week.

I'm an idiot.

And I'm now my depression is spiking. I'm stuck between giving up on the program and my career choice entirely or just doing nothing.

Either option sucks because I've worked so hard on this and I want nothing more than for it all to be over so I can move on or to give up.

I keep thinking "maybe this isn't the right career for me, " "maybe I should give up before I spent too much time, money, and energy on something that I will end up not being passionate for anymore, " and "what's the point? I'm not going to pass these classes anyway, might as well give up now."

Now that I wrote that and cried in the bathroom (what is with me and crying in bathrooms?), I'm going to get up and make a change. I'm going to own up to my mistakes. I'm going to learn from them.

I need to get up, shake it off, breathe in the nice, fresh air, and start over.

Wish me luck!

~MsPenguingirl1234.

Published: September 20, 2020.