I've always been hung up about the past. I always let it control/dictate my present, and more importantly, my future.

Not anymore.

I've let go of a few things that I have to let go daily.

And if that means letting go of some material things, so be it.

I decided to continuously declutter my material possessions this year, but now I realize that's letting go mentally of a few things.

I got out of a few bad relationships and I had been holding onto some things that are doing me more harm than good.

I took a few steps forward already.

Cleaning up and rearranging.

Breathing in and out to let go of the haunting past.

I recently wrote a character that I originally didn't think was a lot like me until it hit me; I'm the definition of insanity.

I keep trying and trying without learning from my mistakes.

I'm putting my foot down and letting go.

I've come to terms with my past. It doesn't define me. My past is simply the stepping stones in this learning journey called life.

I'm done worrying about things or people that I shouldn't be worried about.

I've taken the steps, now it's a matter of staying away from the things that cause me to stumble.

I'm happily enjoying the small things in life.

Yeah, I'm stressed about school, but on Tuesday I realized I'm okay. Everything will be okay.

It might not go according to plan, although it is a plan. There is a plan for me and my life.

I don't have to worry.

Even though I do.

I worry about everything, I feel at peace.

And when those negative thoughts come creeping in, I won't give them the time of day.

Yes, I'm not the smartest person in my class; at least I'm working hard and have three more weeks until the next class that REALLY matters.

I'm working at a daycare and learning how to be authoritative towards the kids in a healthy way.

I'm balancing. I'm going out and doing.

Yeah, it's not fun things, I'm stepping up and doing adult things like getting gas, playing around with my own schedule, living as if I'm not living at home.

I'm independent and winning against my anxiety each and every day.

I went out on Tuesday for a math test, then talked to a counselor at school about my future plans (which was so nice and I didn't have a panic attack/actually went; a big step for me), and then I checked some things off my to-do list that I pushed off because of anxiety.

Here I am, sitting in my room, finishing this after days of working on it.

I'm not going to go back to the top and edit. This is raw and how I have felt in the last few days.

I'm done looking back and second guessing myself. I let it go.

It's funny because the kids at work kept singing let it go from Frozen. It was amazing.

I had a good day yesterday.

I had a good week.

Some days will be bad, but here I am, feeling at peace.

I'm still upset that I woke up at 7:20 this morning. My alarm was 8:30. So glad that I went to bed at 9:10 last night.

Wow, I feel old. XD

These kids keep making me feel old. I love them so much.

Can't wait until I come home and talk about my day working with animals. It will be different as I will be caring for sick and healthy animals.

Until that day, I'm patiently waiting through class after class.

~MsPenguingirl1234.

Published: April 11, 2019.