Alright, as I'm writing this I am having a HORRIBLE night. It started out great, emailing my boyfriend, emailing/private messaging werewolfboy123 on Wattpad about a few things, and crying (happy tears) over a comment Wolf had said on his book about how mostly everything about my writing is good and I seriously have problems with modesty. It may not seem like I'm modest, but I mask it. Because being too modest is not a good thing, it could cause self-esteem problems.

Anyway, I had tossed and turned, wanting sleep. I'm going out with my boyfriend tomorrow to a local festival and a few other places. My anxiety is acting up for one of the places we are going tomorrow, PLUS the fact I sent in my application to the college with the duel enrollment program.

And, it could also be acting up, because earlier my boyfriend made one of my best friends cry. I don't know what is going on, only that she didn't want him around when we had planned a shopping trip...? I'm not sure what's going on with that, but I KNOW that there IS something I'm not seeing here.

So, continuing on with my night (...this is still happening. Frowny face...), I finally got up, started watching YouTube videos to help calm me, and I went downstairs to get a late night snack. That is basically a normal night for me, until I was eating and I lost appetite.

The sandwich was really good (bread, two turkey lunch meat pieces, a piece of salami, cheese, and about six slices of jalapeño), but as I was thinking about tomorrow my stomach starts churning and I didn't think the sandwich was very tasty as I felt the contents of my stomach come up. I stopped eating the sandwich and even the glass of milk wasn't very pleasant anymore.

A symptom of anxiety is upset stomach and loss of appetite. It's different for everyone (social anxiety is more of the 'butterfly' feeling in the stomach, while panic disorder, a different kind of anxiety, may not experience this as they mostly only experience panic attacks...), for me having a feeling of throwing up or just an upset stomach is actually normal (which isn't good, but...).

Even right now after about fifteen minutes of writing this, I still feel like I'm going to throw up. And, I ran up to my room right after I lost my appetite and started typing on my laptop.

I made this to show that with anxiety things can change in an instant. I had a pretty good morning Sunday, but the afternoon to night was horrible. I had a crazy (and anxious) morning Monday, but in the end everything was great. And, Tuesday...I really don't want to go until anymore detail.

So, here I sit on a Wednesday earlier morning, the clock barely passed two in the morning, I write and show that every day is its own battle. Focus on the moment, don't worry/think of the next day or you may lose a good experience/outlook of the day.

I'm going to end this here. I am REALLY sorry if you have a weak stomach and this bothered you, I have a little sister the same way and I should probably make a warning, but it's too early for logical thinking...

Anywho, later!

~MsPenguingirl1234.

Published: June 22, 2016.