Future Me, can you just look back on this day and laugh?

Maybe not near-future me because I can imagine how crazed the laugh will sound coming from still-in-Vet-Tech-program me. I'm thinking more about out of school me who might look back and laugh at how my mind is working overtime right thinking this will be the hardest thing I have to do (until something else comes along which makes me think that the new thing is the hardest thing).

...two days later...

I would continue where I left off, but these last two days have been exhausting and stressful.

Basically, Wednesday was a headache filled day as the weather at my home was terrible after I got off a four-hour Zoom orientation, then I had a few important documents to turn in by that night (I was so out of it and technology was frustrating me), and then I was overwhelmed by the sheer number of things that need to get done by the end of next month. If all the wasn't bad enough, I was still feeling really overwhelmed yesterday and today.

Yesterday, I was still trying to put everything out on paper to collect my thoughts and try to get organized.

I was also able to relax a little bit by getting my mind off of school for a small period of time. It was nice because I was able to read some.

Today, I ran around a few stores to get supplies for school. I bought me some scrubs. I even got a scrub shirt that has stitch (from Lilo and Stitch) on it!

And I was finally able to find a swimsuit because that is a whole story in itself.

I haven't bought a swimsuit since the bottoms I bought in 2017. The last time I bought a top was...sometime in middle school? I'm almost 21 now. Plus, my second bathing suit top was a  hand me down from my sister when I was in middle school. It was about time I got a new swimsuit this year. Only, when I was going to finally go and get one (because work was stressful and I did not want to deal with shopping), the world had to fall apart. That was in March.

Fast forward to me procrastinating and trying to figure out life at this point, yesterday I finally was able to try on a swimsuit bottom that my sister bought a few months and was too small for her. I was in luck and it fit perfectly! I was even able to try on her current swimsuit top (it also fit me!) to figure out my size.

I went out today and looked for a swimsuit top and couldn't find one in my size. Of course, it's too late in the season to find one that fits.

We got home and my mom remembered that my younger sister got a few hand me down swimsuit tops that might fit me. I tried one on and find out I'm okay wearing a bikini. I haven't worn one since...before elementary school. I've always worn one-piece swimsuits until middle school where I wore two-pieces that cover my stomach. I'm actually okay with wearing a bikini.

So now I have the bottoms I got from my older sister and the top that I'm borrowing from my younger sister. I was able to find a swimsuit on Amazon that I like.

I should be ordering it and a lot of other supplies for school. For example, a lab coat. And a stethoscope.

Everything feels more real.

I think I've been so overwhelmed because school starts next month (August 17th, but I also have a course starting on July 20th) and if only I had orientation in May (which is when it usually happens, only for the world to fall apart) I would have more time to really process what I need and to be able to take time to breathe.

Although, I am grateful to be a part of the Class of 2022. Even if the world falls apart more, I wouldn't have any other way.

Side note, I was right! There are guys who are in the program too! I counted about three from orientation!! Beat that everyone who didn't believe me! XD

Enough about that, I should be getting in bed. I have a full day of chores and I'm going to continue to knock down my to-do list.

I'm glad to be able to finish writing this and publish it. Just sitting down and writing this was overwhelming to me.

I'm happy to be in a better place (more put together) after the last three days.

I was hit with a reminder that I asked for the Vet Tech program to bring it on and it's hitting me so far (the second semester will be worse...). But that's okay! Better to freak out now by  being overwhelmed with anxiety than when I'm in the program.

Things will get easier, than harder, than easier, and than harder until one day, it isn't.

I'm okay with that. I will always remind myself of that as I built a support system around of those who push me forward and remind me of the as well.

Anyway, thank you for reading and following my journey.

Later!

~MsPenguingirl1234.

Published: July 10, 2020