The title might be a bit misleading. It's been a crazy day for me filled with a bit of everything. 

I had my midterm in my first class of the day (didn't really study for it as I forgot about it...oops?), I feel pretty good about it. There could be a few questions that I didn't get quite right. Overall, I didn't fail it. Hopefully? I'll get the grade later. 

I had an hour break between my classes because I finished so early. We had 45 minutes for a 59 question exam. I finished with about twenty minutes or so to spare. I would have finished faster, but decided to pace myself a little. 

Wow, that last statement made me sound like I'm a genius when comes to school. HA! As if! 

My first test in that class and what would it be like if I aced it? I got a B on the quiz in that course. And it was one of the easiest quiz/test that I had so far.  

For my second class, we finished up the cardiovascular system. We were placed in breakout groups twice for some learning assignments that weren't graded, but we learned a lot. It was a great class. Even though we went over the exam that I totally failed on. 

After that, two instructors had "office hours" or really a zoom meeting was set up for us students to talk to the instructors. 

I waited around in the waiting room, working on some stuff while I waited (one of them may be a story that is coming out soon...blame the comments! They pushed me!). I was texting a friend as well. It was a great conversation. 

Once it was my turn to talk to the instructor that had the exam where I failed, I was anxious. I know that even though I failed, I know I still have a B- in the class, I'm in good standing. It was funny because the first thing she said was, "I knew I would be seeing you in here." I only lost 8 points on the first exam and the second I lost twenty points. A big drop in points. 

As we talked, I told her about my test anxiety. I kid you not, I could feel the exasperation through the computer screen. She asked me why I didn't say anything to the director of the program because test anxiety is a big deal. Somehow, my struggles have become so normal for me that I forget that they are an issue until they become an issue. 

Failing this exam was the second sign of my issue. The first? It was the quiz earlier this month that I failed in by one percent. Thirteen points and I'm currently failing as we haven't had any other assessment in the class yet. Although, midterms and two finals are coming over the horizon. 

While I'm writing this, I actually should be working on some homework that is due on Thursday and get ready for tomorrow's class. I also have to get ready to preform what I have learned so far on Thursday. I AM SO EXCITED! AND NERVOUS!

Things are looking up. I haven't stopped smiling all through this. What started out to be a different kind of update turned into something positive! I think it's the Fairy Tail quote that's on my desk. 

"The minute you think of giving up, think of the reason why you held on so long." - Natsu Dragneel. 

Yeah, I'm pretty sure it's the quote. 

Anyway, now I have to finish fixing the healthcare thing, talk to the program director about my test anxiety (apparently, I should have went to her months ago about it...oops? Again?), and then be the best vet tech student I can be! 

Sounds easy!

I'm laughing at this. I'm really enjoying the ride right now. That's all I can do at the moment. 

Now, onto why I chose the title. 

After my meeting with my instructor, there was a raid at a nearby gym. It had an Articuno. It is my favorite bird in all of Pokémon. On Saturday, it was my first chance and there was an error during the raid, so I gave up. Everyone else stayed and defeated it. Yesterday, there was another one close to my house. We weren't able to defeat it. The third time happened today. We tried the gym by us and we defeated it! Only...I wasn't able to capture it. 

You could say that I overreacted, but it hurt me. I was so emotional over it. I could literally feel my blood pressure go through the roof. I was so upset. 

The fourth time, a friend invited us to a raid, and we defeated it this time! I tried to capture it with one ball before giving it to my dad out of frustration. I walked out of the room and wanted to destroy everything around me in frustration and anger. 

I haven't had an episode like that in years. 

My dad joked and pretended that he didn't get it. I knew he was joking, but my body was too far in the reaction. 

I knew I had to leave before something happened, so I went outside. I just cried as a release. 

My body is still recovering. It happened at 4:00 PM, I am currently writing this at 11:00 PM. It's not so noticeable now though. 

I did end up getting my Articuno and things got better. 

Now, I'm struggling to finish some homework that is due on Thursday. Yay! 

One would think that as a writer, I would be okay writing a paragraph. Wrong! When you give me strict rules to follow, I just want to break them. 

That's what I am known for when it comes to writing. I love getting to make my rules that are free flowing (aside from a few strict rules that I have for myself). Besides, give me vague instructions and I will probably not do what you want. 

I did that once for a scholarship writing contest. I didn't get anything out of it. Only another reason why I shouldn't stay in a box. My writing was never meant to be in a box. It's why I'm on here.  To be able to be me. And people seem to gravitate towards it. 

This year has been tough in a lot of ways. However, I have gained a lot of recognition on here. My books are somehow getting attention. Books that I wrote years ago that, honestly, need to rewritten to fit my new writing style. 

Call me nostalgic, but I never delete any of my old books/writings. Since I have been on Wattpad, I have only deleted one book. 

I wonder if any of my followers remember that book that I deleted. I do. I often think about it. Of course, that idea is not going back on a page. I have learned from that time. I was still learning at that time. Not only was I navigating the world of writing books and stories, I was learning to find me in every character. 

As time goes on, my characters are being a part of me that will never die. If I kill off a character, they will always be with me. I said if as though I have never killed off a character. I actually have plans to kill off a few current characters. You didn't hear that from me. 

I guess I can write over 1200 words fairly easy, but can't finish a short paragraph for my homework. 

You know what, I learned something very important while in school so far and I'm done putting things off! I am stopping this at 11:14. Next time I write, I will be done with my homework. That's a promise!

I'm back at 11:28. I am proud to say that I finished writing my homework assignment! I am going to go over it tomorrow with fresh eyes, but I think its as good as it can get. Maybe. I'll see tomorrow. 

Well, I think I'm going to get ready for bed. I need to clean off my bed because there are binders, papers, and books all over it. It was a test day. I have to clear my whole desk for every test and quiz. Everything usually gets placed on the bed. 

After that, I think I might put on Fairy Tail and write the idea the idea that I got today. Yeah, I'm going to do that. But, first, I'm going to eat some more dinner. I had a long day, so my eating schedule is off. 

Thank you for reading this mess of a words! I hope you laughed most of the time as I did. 

Later!

~MsPenguingirl1234.

Published: September 21, 2020.

P.S. I somehow deleted this, got it back,  and republished it on September 24th, 2020.