Yeah, a great day for Pokémon Go. Not so great of a day for school. Does the good outweigh the bad? Debatable. Can things change on a flip of a quarter like you're trying to decide if you should the last pizza pie all by yourself? Of course! Most of the time, I do eat the pizza by myself. 

Do things happen in mysterious ways? Definitely. As I struggle to complete a short paragraph for a school assignment that I don't completely understand, I write this beautiful piece that makes me think that I'm getting my writing mojo back. I feel more like myself as I write this than I have in a long time. 

Too bad not many read this book. 

So, I guess my first paragraph is wrong as I seem to be having a great day for writing (excluding school assignments that are driving me crazy slightly...even though I'm already crazy as it is). That's a plus!

For my Pokémon Go update, I was able to get not one but two(!) Articunos! They both are 3-stars (the one I got yesterday was a 2-star) and I caught them by myself! And one of them is a shiny! I am so happy!

I also defeated a Doduo in a raid. I caught it by myself! 

I was able to evolve my Charmeleon. Plus, I got my first lucky Pokémon by  trading with my sister's friend. I needed to evolve a Magnemite, so he traded one with me. Turns out we both got lucky! Now I have a boss Magneton. 

Wow, I talked a lot about the Pokémon part of my day. I guess now should be a school update. Which is also an anxiety update. 

Fortunately, I am getting the hang of the cardiovascular system. Bad news is, it looks like I might not be able to join my classmates on campus this Thursday. I hoped we could figure something out, but things are going too slow. It all depends on how tomorrow's phone call goes. I might get a healthcare plan tomorrow or I am stuck with another obstacle in my way. Thanks, 2020!

As for the anxiety side of things, I'm realizing I should have talked to program director months ago when we had orientation. But, at last, I figure these things out too late. Far too late. 

My anxiety is bad. I had a panic attack in the middle of an exam. Today, I had an anxiety attack while in class. Of course, I'm so used to hiding my struggles that no one noticed. I know that when it matters most, I won't fall apart. Its only when I am faced with a test or something sets me off in class. I know that about myself. I will not be putting others in danger. I never have. 

My anxiety is annoying where if things are high stakes, like life and death, I'm fine. If I'm sitting in class and the instructor looks at me, I'm a high blood pressure mess as my heartbeats get hyperactive. My aorta and arties show just how high pressure they can be. 

I may not have been having too many issues with my anxiety concerning school, I need to let the program director know just in case something happened. 

My anxiety can do some really weird things to me. And I am prone to panic attacks...so, that is an issue that needs to be noted. 

I feel as if I am so used to struggling with anxiety that I forget how much of a problem it can be. Like now, my back and shoulders are hunching up from the tension of todays anxiety adventures. 

I was home alone and I broke down crying. It could have been from my period, but I was also feeling really anxious responding to an email the program director sent me. Mainly, I was internally freaking out as I asked her if we could sent up a meeting to discuss my anxiety issue. I didn't tell her about my anxiety in the email, but it was hard for me. 

It isn't from admitting my "weakness," I worry more of her reaction. "I could get kicked out of the program!" Keeps floating around in my head. I worked way too hard to give up now. I love this profession way more to have my anxiety end my career before it really starts. I have wanted this since I was six. It was always writing and taking care of animals in a way that a vet tech can. I don't want to be a veterinarian because they don't typically spend that much time with the animals like techs do! 

You don't know this, but I just took a break from writing this to write out the assignment that I had no clue what to do on. Plus, I had some research to do on Pokémon Go. 

Now it is getting late. I'm watching Trixie as she tries to smack my phone that is currently swinging back and forth on a stand. It acts as if someone is walking so you can hatch eggs and get steps while doing none of the work. In my case, I am typing this as it counts steps of walking with my buddy. 

Although, there is a high possibility that my phone will die before I get the 2 km which takes about 30 minutes or so. Oh, my phone is at 8%. This isn't looking too good for me. Nah, it will be fine. I only need to get the 2 km so I can get a heart from my buddy to finish the special research that I am working on. 

I guess writing and Pokémon Go has been a huge help in relaxing from school. 

Anyway, I'm going to end this here. I don't have a class tomorrow, so I am going to stay up to work on that first assignment I was doing yesterday and write more of that story that the comments gave me an idea for. 

Until next time! 

Later!

~MsPenguingirl1234. 

Published: September 22, 2020. 

P.S. Trixie is getting really cozy on my bed as she lays out with her head on my pillows. She looks like a tiny kid laying on a big bed. Thinking about it, that is basically what is happening right now.