For those of you who don't follow me, I sent this message out to my followers:

Well, my worst fear came true. If anyone needs/wants to get a hold of me, I don't know when I'll (or if) I will respond.

Just know that today is a day of goodbyes to a family member.

It hit us out of nowhere and I'm pretty sure now its been proven that females live longer than males...

Not even a full year has gone by...

Anyway, this has been a long, terrifying weekend for me and my family. And a lonely one. Feels like I'm missing something as I walk around, and I am, but that can't be helped now.

Maybe I can train Rio (my rabbit) to follow me everywhere I can without biting my ankles. The little ankle-biter...

So that's it for this message, I'll be going into further detail in my "Living With Anxiety" book once everything cools down (more like I stop crying long enough to type words (it hasn't hit me fully yet even though I have cried all weekend...)).

Later!

Friday morning something happened that threw everything to a burning inferno.

Wow, that got hot quickly. At least I have some humor in this situation...

I won't up Friday morning thinking it would be like every other morning; I was wrong.

It was a little after 9 in the morning and there was this weird sound in my room. I ignored it at first because Rio (my rabbit) can make some really interesting noises when she wants to (a child after my own heart).

I rolled over and noticed that my dog was in the middle of peeing a third time on my floor and had pooped in the corner.

I didn't get mad at him because it was my fault for not letting me out last night like I should have (oops, my bad).

That's when things started to go downhill. I soon realized that my dog was making the training sound and was walking funny.

Wide awake now I tried to get him up and out of the nest of (my) pillows, he had laid himself in.

More groaning and only going down one step of the staircase to go downstairs later, I officially knew something was wrong.

He didn't fly down the stairs to catch me as he normally did and he would never pass up the opportunity to do so! That dog was always at someone heels to follow them everywhere!

Was.

I was so worried about my older dog (because like the puggle she is, she ate fudge brownie mix from where it had fallen onto the floor on Wednesday, so I was worried about her dying of death by chocolate!) that when our ten-year-old dog started groaning in pain, I was blindsided! I immediately knew he wasn't going to make it.

Thirty minutes went by as I cried over his pained body and then tried to get myself together so I can get him to a vet.

I ended up calling my mom in tears, she called the vet, and they took tests to see what was wrong.

In the x-ray, something was on the top of his right lung. Maybe it was an infection? Or a tumor? A collapsed lung is possible but uncommon.

We left him for 24 hours to get antibiotics to see if that would help.

A day went by.

We visited him yesterday and was told he wasn't eating. He got a little better, but it still wasn't good.

Another day went by.

My mom and younger sister saw him today and...he's bad.

We have to put him down, so we are doing that today.

It's funny (in a morbid way) that not even a year has gone by since we put down our cat.

Plus, Taz is only ten years old whereas Sandy (our other dog) is fourteen to sixteen years old (we rescued her and was told she was three to five years old, that was eleven years ago).

Now it is official our female pets outlive their younger male counterparts.

Garfield who died last year (we knew that was coming) was twelve while Patches (our female cat) is still living at sixteen.

Now Taz (ten years old) is dying before Sandy does.

Our female pets outlive our male pets. What a world we live in.

Post-death thoughts;

While my younger sister talked and talked, I stayed in silence. This little goodbye was too soon.

Tears and heartache.

I held his head in my head as they injected him and I felt as his dropped down, his tongue going in and out of his mouth nervously like he always did.

It was harder to hear the prolonged life than the silence and peace of death.

Goodbye Taz,

We miss you already.

May 2, 2008 - September 9, 2018.

MsPenguingirl1234.

Published: September 9, 2018.