I know I haven't updated this story since May 23rd. I also know that it seems like I haven't been on Wattpad for about five days now, but I have been. Right now...I feel like I'm stumbling through life and I know that will only get worse this fall for my senior year.

I really don't know what's wrong right now, or what's going on. The only thing that I really know right now is I have MAJOR writer's block and I can't seem to write. I'm actually surprised this is coming along. I have wanted to give an update on a few things, but...I guess I lost interest in a lot of things I'm doing.

It could be a sign of Depression, but it may also be lack of sleep. I can't be sure, because the first GOOD sleep I have gotten this week was ruined by an awful nightmare. I had it last night and I'm still pretty shaken up over it.

...I'm still pretty tired and my mental state is...weird.

Normally, I have three different thoughts going through my head, but these past two days...I find myself TRYING to find SOMETHING to think about.

I'm normally doing three things at once and concentrating on all of them, but now I'm stuck with at most one. 

I'm putting everything aside to do nothing really. It's more than me just procrastinating, I love writing and I just sit down and type to get through writer's block, but now...I'm just putting off with disinterest.

All this week, all I have been doing is shrugging, I have barely talked. I'm trying to grasp a thought and SOMETHING to interest me, but it feels like I feel nothing.

I'm still reading, which is good. If I had stopped reading and listening to music, than there is something SO wrong with me and I would immediately tell someone that I need to get checked out. Because reading and music is my life, if I stopped those two things than I given up on life.

Just typing and writing this out is helping me, it gives me prospective. I think my problem is lack of sleep and anxiety. I'm tired (lack of sleep) and I'm overacting to the situation. Maybe it is an easy fix.

I just need to change my outlook of the situation as a whole.

I'm not going back to erase the beginning of this nor will I change anything. Why? Because, it may help someone learn prospective.

Yes, my house is filled to the brim of fighting and yelling right now, but I'm smiling and laughing. I have known these problems for as long as I can remember. Instead of focusing on the now problem of it, I have to think about the fact I have plans to leave the house next year. This won't continue forever. One day the fighting won't be as bad.

I have to stay positive on that aspect. Negative will only trigger my anxiety.

I know I'm all over the place, but it's better than nothing. I will try to update a few books or publish a few new ones today, though I can't promise anything. I will try my best though.

Thanks for letting me rant and being patient. I love the support that my books are getting, because this is so unreal to me. Pinch me, I must be dreaming of all the votes and comments.

You all encourage me to continue doing what I love best. Love you all.

~MsPenguingirl1234.

Published: June 4, 2016.