As I reflect on this past year, I am reminded of how much I have accomplished; published my first paperback book, finalized my choice of career (took me years to choose Veterinarian Technician), past four college classes (two with A's and two with B's), passed two online college classes, finally got my own room again, my dog passed away, and went through a long hardship of my grandpa having cancer and a unhealthy relationship that messed me up.

I started this year sharing a room, having just a rabbit as a pet, my first book being released, and my computer dying forever.

I am ending this year in my own room, having a rabbit and a cat as pets, my second book not nearly as finished as it should be (haven't finished the second chapter yet...), and getting a TV and DVD player in my room with a computer tablet instead (the TV and DVD player are a yesterday development).

Yesterday, I tried looking back on my year and found myself unable to see the good.

I spent hours thinking about the last 365 days with a mindset that this year wasn't a good year for me.

I went to bed thinking that I screwed up and that I haven't accomplished anything.

I woke this morning, did a few chores, then realized I need to change my perspective on how 2018 went.

I've come to terms with the fact that writing right now for me is a slow process. One process which is bringing me down.

The last few months I have called my lack of motivation for writing; writing depression. I'm not going through a writer's block, I'm going through a state of depression that only effects my writing.

Now, in the last few weeks, I've been feeling depressed in all areas of my life.

Wow, this turned into something I wasn't prepared for.

Anyway, I'm trying not to be so hard on myself because I don't want to start the new year with a rough start.

I'm getting better now that I'm writing it out. I don't know how, but I will get this book done and get back to writing as I used to.

See you next year!

~MsPenguingirl1234.

Published: December 31, 2018.