I spent the last five hours thinking about how I would write this. It is currently 2:30 in the morning, technically January 5, 2021. I wrote and published a story part about how I got more bad news, well, I figured I would get on here and write out my whole day because I need to decompress.

First off, I woke up late after having a late night. I didn't fall asleep until 5 AM. I ended up waking up at 1:30 in the afternoon.

Second, I noticed I had received a call from my dentist's office. They asked me to call back since I didn't answer the phone call as I was sleeping.

Third, I had no idea what was happening in the world around me as I'm still getting over the depression state of my grief.

I took a shower once I got up and was ready (mostly) for the day by 2:15.

The rest of the afternoon consisted of hanging out with my sisters, Sally, and Grey.

It wasn't until 5 PM when things took a turn.

My mom was at her parents' house since the morning as she knew my grandpa wasn't doing well.

My mom texted my dad that my grandpa is going to pass in the next few days.

After some time, we headed over there and arrived at around 8.

When we walked into the house, it didn't feel like anything had changed. Other than the fact that there was a hospital bed in the middle of the living room and my grandpa was sleeping.

Half an hour of talking later, we were informed of the truth. He may never wake up.

Over the weekend, he became worse. Sleeping more, hasn't eaten anything in 6 days, has barely drank, and hasn't talked in a few days either.

The last time I saw him, he was barely talking but still lively considering. This time, he was peacefully sleeping with a steady rise and fall of his breathing.

He was awake earlier in the afternoon when the hospice nurse was there, but he still might never wake up.

We ended up saying our goodbyes today, just in case. I do plan on going over there tomorrow. Although, it could be too late.

If it wasn't for my dentist appointment, I would be over there later today (because it is 3 in the morning on January 5th).

Wow, I want to write more, but I can't figure out how to continue this. So I will try my best.

My grandparents celebrated their 55th wedding anniversary on the 31st of December, my grandpa celebrated his 73rd birthday on September 29th, and my grandma celebrated her 71st birthday on October 26th.

My grandparents are high school sweethearts. They met when my grandma was 13 and my grandpa was 15.

They were able to celebrate their birthdays and wedding anniversary together in 2020. Unfortunately, we had to cancel our family reunion this past summer, so we missed that day of being together as a family.

Plus, one of my uncle and aunt's are currently on the other side of the country and have been for five years now. That's a sad thought that my grandpa hasn't seen them since then.

I'm okay though. I've family by my side.

Besides, funerals on my mom's side of the family usually consist of storytelling, laughter, and card games. Especially, with us younger family members.

I remember playing countless games of slapjack, sandwich, and go fish with my siblings and others. And at times, when we get too loud, we are told to quiet down.

Funerals shouldn't be sad, they are meant to celebrate life.

I'm glad that I visited my grandparents between this past summer and now. Even though a pandemic broke out, we knew we had to make the most of the time we have left with family.

We could die tomorrow! Anything could happen that can kill us. I just lost my rabbit out of nowhere from a heart attack! My grandpa is dying because his cancer (two different types) is spreading.

I would rather break the "rules" and hold him close then miss the opportunity to hold him one last time.

I've had friends and family lose people during this pandemic due to pre-existing conditions and half couldn't spend time with them before they passed.

I'm glad that my grandpa decided to go home. He wants to be home and with his family. If he was in the hospital right now, we wouldn't be able to spend this time with him. Which saddens me and angers me.

I understand the why, but why put families like mine into giving up precious time with their loved ones? I don't understand.

I'm about to lose my last living grandpa. I'll only have one living grandma.

And I don't even want to think about what will happen to her after her husband passes.

Anyway, it's late. I also have a cat to bring into my room and I have to finish getting ready for bed.

Until next time,

Later!

~MsPenguingirl1234.

Published: January 5, 2021.