Cas woke up with his head pounding, his whole body sore. He rubbed his forehead, squinting his eyes, and looked around. He remembered going to the bar the previous night, but not much afterwards. Cas sat up, clutching his head, then froze. This isn't my room, he thought.

"Cas?" Cas slowly looked around at the voice with building dread and saw, as he already knew he would, Dean. Cas took in both of their lack of clothing and some of his memory fell back into place.

"Are you sure?" Dean asked, breathing heavily. Cas just kissed him, pushing him backwards into his room. "Cas I really don't want to do this if you aren't comfortable," Dean said.

"I'm fine." Cas' words were slurred. He pushed against Dean and Dean pushed back, finally giving in. 

Cas' breath left his lungs as he stared at Dean. "Cas, are you okay?" Dean asked, looking nervous. Cas opened his mouth but no sound came out. Dean reached out towards Cas, but Cas scrambled away from him, out of the bed, and promptly threw up. Dean got out of his bed and started towards Cas, but Cas just ran. His thoughts were a mess, he couldn't think straight, his head was pounding, oh god what had he done? Cas staggered into the bathroom and knelt next to the toilet, throwing up again, the confusion mixing with the hangover to make him almost unable to function. Cas tried to wrap his head around what had just happened. He and Dean.... oh god, how could he have done that? He had left Aaron, but he still couldn't get past the feeling that he'd betrayed him. He wasn't even in love with Dean, and that was the worst of it. He was still in love with Aaron, but Dean was in love with Cas and Cas hated himself that he'd slept with Dean if he didn't truly love him back. Cas pressed a hand to his head. He'd ruined everything, hadn't he? Dean couldn't just forget about this, and Cas couldn't blame him. They couldn't go back to normal after this. It was over.

Cas leaned against the wall, tears springing up in his eyes. He had abandoned Aaron and ruined things with Dean... what was he going to do? Cas stood up shakily, flushed the toilet and went to his room. He pulled on some clothes, trying to ignore the pain in his head, and went for the door.

"Cas? Where are you going?" Dean asked from behind him. Cas didn't turn around, he couldn't look Dean in the eyes. He just ran out the door.

Cas wandered around the city for hours, not stopping until his stomach started growling. That was when he realized he didn't have any money, or any way of getting some. He had nothing. He ended up on the same bench outside the same bakery that he'd sat at just the other day, watching the people go by. He stared at the salon across the street, not really seeing it. He sat there for a while before getting back up and walking down the street again. He ended up on a bridge over a highway and stopped to watch the cars, letting his thoughts wander again. He didn't know what to do. He couldn't go back to Dean, he just couldn't, he couldn't face what he'd done. Cas looked down at the freshly healed scars on his arm. There was only one option left. Cas took a deep breath and turned back towards the city. Did he really want to do this? There's no other choice, he thought. Cas began to walk again.

***

As he stared at the familiar building, Cas cast his mind over everything that had happened over the last few months. It seemed like only yesterday that he had met Dean in that grocery store and all this had started. Cas couldn't help but wonder what would've happened if he'd never met Dean. He never would have left Aaron, and Cas couldn't decide if that was a good thing or not. He was surprised to find that he was inclined to think it would've been a bad thing. But it didn't matter now. He was going back, and that was all there was to it. Cas stood up slowly, done thinking. He could only hope that Aaron would take him back.

Cas had only taken a few steps when a hand grabbed his shoulder. He jumped and looked around. It was Dean.

"Cas, what are you doing?" Dean asked. Cas stared at him.

"How did you find me?" he asked.

"I guessed. You aren't really planning on going back to that scumbag, are you?" Dean asked, sounding slightly desperate.

"I don't have any other choice!" Cas exclaimed, fresh tears welling up in his eyes.

"You have me," Dean said.

"But I don't! I slept with you, there's no way we could go back to normal after that! I ruined it! I ruined you!" Cas said, the tears falling down his cheeks.

"Cas, you didn't ruin me. It'll be okay, just come back with me," Dean said.

"It's better if I just go back to Aaron before I do any more damage," Cas said.

"Do you really want to go back to him?" Dean asked. Cas hesitated.

"I... I... I guess not," he whispered.

"Just come with me," Dean begged softly.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Cas asked. Dean nodded. Cas smiled slightly, suddenly realizing how exhausted he was, both physically and emotionally.

"Let's go home," he said. They both started walking, but a voice from behind them stopped them both cold.

"Cas!" Cas turned around slowly, already knowing what he would see. It was Aaron.