Life is funny.
You can want something so badly, and upon achieving it realize you don't want that which you so badly desired.

I wanted you. No, I needed you.
It was in every guy I rejected because of a hope of us.
Ever shaken breath I held upon seeing your name appear on my phone.
All the pillowcases stained with tears.
The mornings in which I had to remind myself that I was alive because my heart ached so bad.
The mental pain that was so strong I felt it in my bones.

And than I got my wish. I got everything I thought I wanted. I had you. Only to realize the you I adored wasn't the you I thought you to be.

So I lost me respect for you.
My hope
My trust
My love

And now you and I are left with less than what we started with. Absolutely nothing.

But thanks after not writing for a year you got me to again and for that I'm grateful.