A list of things I hate that people say, along with the responses I never say aloud.

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1) I'm so fat.
Me: HAVE YOU LOOKED AT ME LATELY? ARE YOU TRYING TO OFFEND ME?

2) Does this shirt make my butt look big?
Me: Isn't that the whole point you're wearing it? Right, it is, you just want me to admit to it so you can feel better about yourself.

3) You can't have your cake and eat it too.
Me: WHAT THE HELL AM I GETTING THE CAKE FOR THEN?!

4) Can I ask you a question?
Me: You just did, doucheface.

5) Look, Christy, a plane!
Me: Really? I thought it was just a cat on steroids flying through the air. Now that would be something I've never seen before, but a plane? Seriously?

6) Don't worry, there's someone out there for you.
Me: Gosh, and here I was thinking there weren't enough fish in the sea. I'm glad that you're not a part of that school.  (Cookies to anyone that got the reference xD)

7) Have a safe flight.
Me: Oh, because I am in total control of what happens up in the air. Thanks for letting me know I'm a demigod daughter of Zeus but this was not the way I wanted to learn.

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** If anyone figured out/wondered why I've been doing only seven items in each list, it's because it's my lucky number -- yes I do believe in such a thing -- and so this list has not ended. Nowhere close really. You can expect more later.