BUKOLA

"Do you think you'll be fine alone tonight?" Aminu asks and I just nod my head yes.

"Alright, then. Guess it's good night." He halts to take one last look at me before finally walking away to his own room. Just before opening the door, he takes rapid steps back, walking to where I am.

"Come here." He says, engulfing me in a warm embrace. We stay like that for a while, not speaking, just breathing. He then leans backward to look at me.

"Sleep well, wifey." He pecks me on the forehead after speaking. I watch him walk back to his door. Once he shuts the door, I get into my room.

Heaving a sigh, I slump right on the bed without even taking off my clothes. Exhausted. I wonder how I am going to make it through the night.

A vibrating sound. It could only be my phone. It's daddy calling.

"Daddy."

"My dear, how was it?" He sounds worried.

"I could not do it. It was difficult." I sigh, slumping my shoulders like he could see me.

"Do you want me to be there while you do it?" He asks. To be honest, Daddy has done more than many Nigerian fathers in his shoes would do. Even though he is not complaining, I think he should sit this one out.

"It's fine. I'll be fine." I say in an attempt to put his mind at ease.

"Are you sure?" He asks.

"Yes, I am."

"How is your husband?"

"He is fine." I answer him.

"Alright. Send my word to him. Good night, darling daughter." He says.

"Good night, daddy." Few minutes after the call with dad, my evil twin's message comes in. She is threatening me once more. I gave her the document they needed from Aminu's company. Still surprised they have done nothing with it. It seems this access code they want me to get is of utmost importance. I was scared that I had handed over a multi billion Naira project to them. Now that I know they need one more thing from me before they can proceed, I guess now is the time to right my wrongs. I know just what to do.

The sigh that leave my mouth when I stand up is a clear definition of how mentally exhausting this whole stuff is.

"I want to see you tomorrow evening." I quickly text to Farida and Emmy before I change my mind.

I freshen up since sleep seems far away from me. Surprisingly the moment my body connects with the bed, I start getting dizzy. Even though I'm dreading tomorrow's revelation, I give in completely to sleep.

•••••

"

You sure you got any sleep at all?" He asks, bending to place a peck on my forehead.

"Yes, I did." I try to smile. You see, I came for an early morning swim. Meanwhile, Aminu is busy prancing around bare chested.

"Baby girl, I know I'm hot, keep the stares PG." He winks and I scoff.

"Indeed. Like I was staring at you." I roll my eyes for added pretence.

"Admit it. You were."

"Whatever." I shrug off.

"Join me." I want to wipe that smirk off his face. Surprising him, I walk towards him. His eyes waver over my body as I do so, ending in a whistle that makes me pause for a moment to laugh.

To his utmost astonishment, I push him, resulting to him losing balance and falling into the pool.

"Enjoy your morning chill, husband." Laughing, I run back to where I sat to pick the towel I brought with me before running into the house. Madam Christie is in the kitchen preparing breakfast. So I just greet her and go to my room for a proper bath. Jide is still in room, probably sleeping. It's still very early; around 6:30am.

"What's up?" Emmy's message pops up. Instead of responding to his chat, I hit the Audio call icon instead.

"Yo!" He chuckles before answering me.

"Pretty Agbero. How far." This guy!

"Look who is talking. If I am an agbero, what are you?" I ask him.

"A handsome young man who is very calm."

"Ehn. You try small in the handsome part. Calm? It's okay to wallow in self deceit sometimes." I chuckle when I speak.

"So, how far. Hope you're good." He asks me.

"Yeah, I am." I lie.

"Who is the babe you're with now? This one I'm hearing shuffling." I ask him.

"Your ears are deceiving you, Bukky. The one I wanted did not want me." He lets out casually and I roll my eyes.

"We talked about this." I warn.

"Fine, I'm sorry." Now I'm rethinking whether or not to have this meet up with him included.

"Any way, till we see later."

"Seriously, Bukky? You want to end the call because of what I said? I apologized." He groans.

"Yeah. Bye." I end the call and sigh. Male friends are cooler but the fact that they begin having feelings at a point, friendship becomes exhausting and mentally draining. Especially when you have no feelings for them and it starts making you come off as the bad person for not reciprocating their feelings. If Emmy had shown this part of him in our younger days, we most likely wouldn't have been friends now, because I had to cut the ones who catch feelings off. Not like I am being dismissive of their feelings, I just don't see a point in leading them on. There are a handful that I am still friends, with. The ones who were mature enough not to hound me.

While so many emotions flood into me as I recall my life and some choices I have made, whether good or bad, one attribute stood out; bravery. It's been since I felt it, but now the surge of it floods my entire being.

I am soon settled and head back downstairs.

"Good morning, big sis." Jide's voice is the first sound I hear after shutting the room door.

"Morning, Jide. Hope you slept well."

"Yes, I did. Thank you." We move at the same pace towards the sitting room. Only that I divert to the kitchen after. Madam Christie had left the food already dishes in coolers. She prepared Akara and Pap.

By 9am, all three of us are sitting in the parlour.

"I don't know where to start." I clear my throat and Aminu gsntly squeezes my hands.

"Reckless was an adjective that perfectly describes how I was in my younger days." I begin and proceed to narrate the whole story to Jide who listen with keen interest.

"You are the baby I refused to terminate, son. I am your mother." The tears I'm holding at bay finally spill out my eyes. It felt so odd but at the same time right, to call him that.

"But dad and mom." He hesitates, staring me in the eyes.

"Are your grandparents." Aminu says in my stead.

"So, you're my mother?" He asks me.

"Yes, I am, Jide. I am so sorry for hiding it from you all these years." Slowly, I hand his original birth certificate to him. He gasps and stares at me. Anger, Pain, Irritation. They all find their spot in his eyes.

"Who is my father?" He asks calmly.

"Son, please give me some time to..."

"Who is my father, mother?" Bile rise in my throat at the bitter manner with which he addresses me.

"You will be calm, Jide. Sit and never raise your voice at your mother again." Aminu reprimanded him.

"I'm sorry. Please, I'd love to be excused. I need to pack my things as I intend to go back to school today." He walks out even before any of us could respond to him.

"Help me, Aminu. Please. He hates me. He hates me so much." Deep and heavy sobs vibrate from my chest as I cry in Aminu's arms.

The man just keeps stroking my back while I let it all out. He mutters soothing and comforting words to me. Problem is, they were not working. Instead, they made me cry even harder.

"I am such a terrible mother. I was never there in his life."

"You have always been there. Give him some time. He is probably trying to process everything you just told him."

"I hate myself."

"Shhh... it will be fine. Let time run its course." He reasons.

Jide went back to school; Aminu had him dropped off with his private jet instead. He wouldn't even look at me when he was leaving. It's not fair; I know we held it for a long time but it does not mean it's fair on my path too. I have been suffering from the guilt for almost 20 years of his and my life.

I had to reschedule the meeting with Farida and Emmy. Later that night, Aminu refused for me to sleep in my room alone.

"You have been crying, wifey. Do you seriously think I would allow you sleep alone?" He is purging me with so much care that I don't find myself worthy of.

"I need to freshen up. I need to go to my room." I say in protest.

"Thing is, I sort of have some things that you could use." He scratches his head, trying to look elsewhere.

"Alright. Thank you." When the drawer is open, I gasp and slowly turn my head to look at him.

"Aminu." I let out a sob, burying my face in-between my two palms. In the drawer were all the products I make use of. Everything was stacked in here, no mix up whatsoever.

"I sort of got these for you." I look at him trying to avoid my gaze.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome, wifey. Let me run a bath for you, I'll be back." He speeds off. While watching his retreating steps, I wonder how did I get so lucky with him? We didn't meet on a very friendly note, but now that I know why, I don't think I blame him for his initial countenance towards me.

"It's ready." His sound of his voice breaks my reverie.

"Thank you." He proceeds to leave the room, but I catch his hand before he could get to the door. In one swift motion, our lips connect and we simultaneously sigh. For a short while, I choose to live in this moment.