"How you touch my soul from the outside?"-POV: ariana grande

Have you ever met someone who could never shut the fuck up? I have, and his name is Nico.

I love Nico and Krystian—they're like brothers to me—but sometimes I just wish I had a pillow.

They decided, without my permission, to have a sleepover at my house.

Again, without my fucking permission.

As usual, my parents were out on a business trip, leaving me alone, which some may assume is great but not having your parents around since you were a kid sort of fucking sucks.

"Nico, shut the fuck up. I'm trying to do this equation," I yell.

"It's a Friday night, dickhead! Come and gossip with us!" he shouts.

I hear a sudden thud. Thank you, Krystian, for being the person who can shut him up.

My dream is to become an engineer, one way or another. To prove to everyone who looked down on me that I'm capable and good enough.

Sometimes, dark thoughts haunt me and ruin my motivation for work. All I desire is to sleep and do nothing because my brain likes to emphasize how pathetic I am.

My coping mechanism was boxing, but for the first time, I found something else taking the thoughts away.

I'm assuming it's a glitch in my brain cells. Something distracted me, so the thoughts disappeared. She holds no significance.

Except now, Nico loves her and wants to be around her twenty-four-seven. Their personalities are insanely similar, which makes me question whether this Olivia girl is truly as happy as she seems.

Though this is not my mystery to uncover, is it? I'm not her prince charming, nor am I the hero that will save her.

I hope like hell she goes away soon.

"Xavier, come here! We found Olivia's social media," Krystian yells from the other room.

I groan and join them.

What's their weird fucking obsession with her?

"Truthfully, I don't care," I confess. They look at each other and roll their eyes.

"Please, if you didn't care, you wouldn't be so annoyed. It's the first time in a long time we've seen you feel any emotion other than silence," Nico states.

"Silence isn't an emotion, shithead," I argue.

"You get what he means," Krystian replies.

I shrug, but they suddenly throw Nico's phone in my face.

"She's so sunshine-like and happy. Her feed is so yellow!" Nico exclaims.

"Honestly, you need to make an Insta account instead of the fake one Nico made," Krystian adds.

Is it Attack Xavier Day? Because why does everyone fucking suck?

"I'm perfectly fine with the one Nico made," I explain.

"Nico literally uses it to troll people," Krystian responds, falling on the floor in tears, showing us screenshots of girls who sadly fell for this idiot's tricks.

Being a boxer and an having one of the highest grades in school has made me and my friends the center of attention, which means attention.

Nico loves to party, and though I hate it with a fucking passion and Krystian merely tolerates them, we still go because it's Nico, and he's been a friend since babyhood.

All three of us have been friends since we were kids because our parents were friends, though over time they've distanced themselves, which is arguably my parents' fault.

Though I blame my parents for a lot of shit. I'm a petty man.

My parents, with their sudden wealth, think they're better than everyone else and believe neglecting their child and belittling him will make their wealth increase.

Nico's parents are like my second family. They're always willing to support me emotionally, no matter the circumstances, and Krystian's parents are your fun and upbeat parents with way too much leniency.

"Anyways, let's bring the ladies!" Nico exclaims.

"Now that's a night I want!" Krystian joins in, and I look at these idiots with a desire to murder them.

"No, and no. Did I mention no fucking again? I'm supposed to be fucking studying, and honestly, so should you two. Krystian, you want to do medicine, and Nico, you want to be a pilot. Act on it, you idiots."

They go quiet, groan, and take their textbooks out.

Thank gosh.

After hours of silence, shockingly, it was Krystian who broke it.

"Why do you think Coach never introduced his daughter to us?" he asks, raising an eyebrow.

"Because Nico sleeps with any fucking woman that breathes," I argue. Nico frowns at me and throws a pen at my head.

Krystian laughs at my answer while Nico frowns.

"Maybe Coach doesn't want her anywhere near you TWO! Krystian, you're boring idiot, and Xavier, you're mean. He wanted some positivity for his sunshine girl, hmm?"

Now that's what we call fucking stupid.

I head out afterward and take a deep breath.
I'm okay. The reassurance is a lie, but it lets me continue the façade I created. Sometimes there are moments when the darkness swallows me, and I can't help but drown in this ink of blackness.

All my laughter, smiles, and tears are replaced with this shadow of charcoal, and I don't want to leave.
Boxing is the only thing that helps get my mind off this vast darkness.

That was until Olivia opened her mouth, and suddenly a splash of yellow hit me.

I flick my lighter on and smoke the cigar.

I can't help but wish to burn in that flame and leave my body to become a shadow; maybe then I'll mean something.

I exhale, and I'm attacked by a voice that sounds like a high pitch scream of help. Yet, my heart does a fucking weird dance.

"Hey!" I look to see Olivia jumping out of a car.

"What?" I snap.

She takes a step back, pulls on her sleeve, and then steps forward again.

"Nothing. My dad was driving me home, and I didn't realize you lived only half an hour away. I lied and said I needed to walk. Dad isn't really observant, which isn't a good trait for someone who is a coach, nor for driving me!" She rambles, and I can't help but find her adorable.

"Okay," I respond.

"Oh my gosh, you really do talk!" She grabs my hand, and I feel this stupid electricity again.

It makes my chest erupt into flames, and as she continues talking about food, I can't help but notice that the dark thoughts have hidden away.

"So, you'll try my cooking? I mean, I'm not the greatest, and Dad doesn't let me cook anymore, but I promise it'll be edible!" She smiles.

"Sure."

I hope I don't regret that decision. She twirls her hair, which she's done three times now. I have a feeling she's feeling awkward or regrets leaving her dad for me.

"So, what are your hobbies?" I ask.

Why the fuck am I continuing a conversation with a girl I have zero interest in.

"I love reading so much. Give me a classic, give me a mystery or murder, but especially give me a romance book. Anything romance makes my heart go badum, you know? I've accepted defeat—no man in reality can do what my book men can do!" she concludes.

"And what if you meet someone who makes you feel badum?" I ask back.

I don't know why I asked, but her eyes go bright. Brighter than they've been before.

"That's a good question. I'll be willing to give them my heart, to break or to hold with compassion," she finalises.

We both look up at the sky. There are no stars, just the moon. While she looks up, mesmerised, I can't help but look at her.

A/N hiiii everyone! I always stress that I don't write it enough aaa! it would be really reassuring if someone would tell me if I do or not!
Anyways life update i'm in love with a man and his name is Dante Russo. I actually giggle when I think of him it's so BAD!
Someone give me a man i'm so lonely.

Fave music artist? (and reccs pls)