Readjusting to homelessness wasn't easy to say the least. It's not going well. I'm constantly on edge and I can't sleep. Staying with Kuza makes me feel a little safer, but it's still not much. He's been helping me and he's been there for me but it's hard. And if I'm being honest, I'm fucking scared. I genuinely regret not taking Chris's offer. It's not ideal, but it's a good offer. And it's too late now. He said to stay away.

I thought I'd be adjusted by now. It's been almost a month. I guess I'd gotten so used to living indoors, that I can't accept being on the streets again.

I wanna see Chris. I wanna take the offer. I'll let him do whatever he wants to me. I can't live out here. But I can't tell Kuza about it. He'll try to talk me down from going.

He was currently working— something I really haven't been doing lately— and probably wouldn't notice if I was gone for a little while. It's far, but I could make it.

~~~~~~~~~~

I shivered slightly as I banged on the door of the mansion. It started pouring when I was about half way here. I'm soaking wet and I just wanna be out of the rain.

The door opened moments later. Ryan stood there, he stared at me. "Can I help you?"

"I need to see Chris."

"He's not here." He said.

I narrowed my eyes. "Bullshit. I've never seen him leave without you."

He sighed. "He's not taking visitors right now."

I'm soaking wet and cold and tired and I just need to fucking talk to him.

"I don't give a fuck." I replied. I shoved past him and made my way inside.

"He isn't seeing anyone right now!"

I didn't respond. I walked in the direction of Chris's office. I stopped in front of the door and turned the knob. The door was locked so I started pounding in the door. "Chris!"

"I tried to stop him!" Ryan called. "He isn't taking visitors! Leave him alone!"

After a few minutes of me banging and screaming, the door was thrown open, revealing a very disheveled, angry looking Chris. "It's fine, Ryan." He seethed. "Let the whore in."

He grabbed me by my shirt and pulled me inside.

I don't know where the confidence I just had came from but it was suddenly gone. He held me against the wall by my throat. "Who the fuck do you think you are?"

"I-I'm sorry. I just- I need to talk to you." I whispered. "Please."

"What?" He snarled.

"Th-the offer you made me, is it s-still on the table?"

"Why?"

"We all got kicked out of the apartment."

"So? You've been on streets before? What makes this any different?" He tightened his grip on my throat.

I coughed, grasping his wrist. "I'm not readjusting well. I-I got too used to living inside."

"That's not my fucking problem."

"Please, Chris."

He laughed. "No."

"I'll do anything. I'll do whatever you want. I'll be whatever you want. Please." I begged.

He scoffed. "That's- Why the fuck are you soaking wet?"

"It's raining."

He sighed and dropped me down. He sat down at his desk. He stared at me. I didn't notice the mirror covered in coke before. I watched him push it into a line with a razor blade before leaning down to snort it.

"I'll think about it." He breathed. "Go up to my room. Ryan will give you clothes. Then come back down here."

I nodded.

He waved me away as he went back to his coke.

He seemed off. I don't know why but he just seems messed up.

I left the room and headed up stairs. It took me a minute to remember where his room was, but I managed to find it.

As soon as I opened the doors, I saw Ryan standing there. He handed me a pile of clothes and left me.

I placed the clothes down on the bed and pulled my shirt off. It was stuck to my skin. I was still wet even after taking it off.

I went over to the bathroom and searched through all of the cabinets for a towel. There's way too many fucking cabinets and drawers in this bathroom. It's fucking huge. It has a shower, and a fucking jacuzzi. Like, what the fuck is the point of having it?

It took a few, but I finally found a towel. I dried my hair a little before moving down my body. I took my shorts off before I finished. I dropped the dirty stuff in the laundry basket in the corner before going back out to the bedroom. I grabbed the clothes that Ryan gave me, seeing that they were just the clothes I'd left here the last time I was here. I forgot about those.

It was just a pair of leggings and a cropped hoodie. It wasn't much, but it was dry. I pulled the clothes on quickly, shivering a little.

Why is this house so cold? Does he not know what a heater is? It's the fucking middle of December.

I pulled my boots back on and left the room. I went back down to his office and pushed the door open.

He was sitting in his desk chair with his head tilted back. He had his eyes closed. Did he fall asleep?

"Chris?"

He quickly moved to look at me. He sighed softly. "Sit."

I sat in the chair in front of his desk.

"I...apologize...for being so rough with you before. I'm dealing with some shit and I'm not in the right state of mind." He took a deep breath in. "The offer still stands if you would like it."

I nodded. "Please."

"Fine. Where are your things?"

"With Kuza. I've been staying with him."

He nodded. "Come." He stood up. "We'll go get your things."

I followed after him. He led me outside and to his car. He got in the back and pulled me in beside him. Ryan was in the driver's seat.

The car started and Ryan began to drive. Chris placed his hand on my thigh, leaning in. He pressed his lips to my neck. "You'll do anything I want, huh?"

I nodded slowly. 

"Good boy." He spoke. 

I didn't respond. I just let him kiss me. I really don't honestly care. 

I wonder what he's dealing with that's making him act this way. He almost acting how he did when I first met him. I'm pretty sure his mood and anger are drug fueled though. I've never actually seen him do any kind of drug before today. Granted, I've only actually been with him a few times, but still. 

"I'm throwing a party tomorrow." He told me. "Do you have any nice party clothes?"

"I have party clothes, but they're really only suited for parties that someone like me would go to."

"I see."

He stared at me for a second. 

"What you have will have to do for now, but I'll have to get you nicer clothes."

"I like my clothes."

"And? I don't care if you dressed like a whore while you were one, but you are no longer working. You are mine now and I'd rather you looked the part."

I rolled my eyes. "Whatever."

The car came to a stop and Chris opened the door. He stepped out and pulled me along with him. He walked through the alley and back to where Kuza was. 

"Hey- Ricky?" 

I waved at him. He raised an eyebrow.

"Ricky will be staying with me from now on. He's just come to gather his things."

Kuza nodded slowly. "Oh. Okay. I think all his stuff is by mine."

"Go get your sutff." He ordered. 

I moved towards the back of the alley, where Kuza and I sleep. 

I heard a loud thud come from behind me. I looked back. Kuza was on the ground, holding his stomach. Ryan stood above him, Chris off to the side.

"Next time I say to do something, you'd best do it. It'll be a lot worse if this happens again."

Chris looked up and I quickly got out of his line of sight. Why is he hurting him? Is he gonna hurt me? Did I make the right decision?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chris left me in a spare bedroom, saying that he had work to do and would be back later. He said he wouldn't be in the house, but that I was free to explore. 

That was about three hours ago. By now I was bored out of my mind. I wanted to go and look around the house, but I was afriad I'd get lost. This house is so big. 

I'd changed into a pair of loose sweatpants and a random hoodie. Maybe Chris is right. I think I need new clothes. All of my clothes are old and torn up. 

I sighed and rolled off the bed. Maybe I'll just see if I can find the kitchen. I'm thirsty. I want some water. 

I left the room, heading down the long hallway. I gotta find the stairs again. How does Chris find his way around the house so well? 

I took a few turns down some hallways, eventually finding one of the staircases. I wonder what's on the third floor. Probably more bedrooms. 

I went down the stairs, stopping at the bottom. If I turn left, that leads to the living room and Chris's office, and that big ballroom, so maybe if I go right, I'll find the kitchen.

I wandered down the hall, passing a few rooms with locked doors. I saw a big open doorway at the end of the hall. That's gotta be the kitchen. 

I entered the room. It was just a smaller dining room. 

I groaned and leaned back against the wall. I banged my head against it. Will I ever find the damn kitchen?

"What are you looking for?"

I jumped and looked up. Chris was back.

"I just want a fucking glass of water."

"Come with me."

I stood up and he took my hand. He led me out of the dining room and back all the way down the hall, past the living room and his office. He stopped just before the big doors to the ballroom and opened a door to the left. I followed him into the room. Oh. So this is where the kitchen is. 

He grabbed a glass from a cabinet and filled it with water. He has one of those fancy rich people refrigerators that dispenses water.

He handed me the cup. "Thanks."

"Are you hungry?" 

I shrugged. 

"Yes or no?"

"A little, I guess." I told him. 

It just hit me.

That other room wasn't a dining room. It was a meeting room thing. Wow, I'm fucking retarded.

"What do you want?"

"I don't care."

He sighed. I watched him open the fridge and look around. He tossed me an apple after a moment. "Sorry. That's all I got. No one's really been around to cook anything lately."

"It's fine." I said, taking a bite. 

"I'll have someone cook later. Is there anything specific that you'd like?"

"Um...Tacos." I told him after a minute. 

He nodded. "Alright."

He sat next to me. 

"I want to apologize in advance for anyway that I may act. I told you earlier that I'm dealing with a situation. I'm under a lot of stress and pressure right now. I typically don't like to, uh..." He paused. "Practice what I preach, if you get what I mean. It's just the only thing helping me right now."

I nodded. "What kind of situation?"

"It doesn't matter. It's complicated."

"Well, maybe I can help relieve some of that stress..."

He smiled at me. "Upstairs. Now."