I watched painfully, unable to move, as my brother slipped off of dad's back and tumble helpless, in the throng of fighting animals below. I cried our for him, but I couldn't hear myself scream, I could feel the heart of fire and smell blood. So much blood. It changed and Zach was staring at me with two beady red eyes as he drooled out words I couldn't hear before he lunged at me, claws scraping across my muzzle, there was a flash of blue and green light as he left three permanent scars on my face. Then I was falling through the earth, rolling before a huge black wolf with menacing coals for eyes as he snapped his jaws around my neck. I curled my face into Zach's fur, it had been so long since I had seen him. He crumbled into dust at my paws. I began to grow angry and desperate as tears pricked the the corner of my eyes. Where was he? I should be able to feel him but he wasn't there any more. Why couldn't I feel him. I choked out a sob as suddenly there was a full moon that shone so bright it burned my eyes. He was in front of me, staring at me. He expression was trying to tell me this was okay, that he was supposed to do this. It was his destiny to be ripped away from from me. Screw destiny was my last thought as I watched, again, unable to move, as Tenebris' claw sunk into his abdomen, and snapped his jaws around Zach's shoulder.

    I woke up screaming.

    I clawed around desperately, forgetting the human enchantments we had put on ourselves, as I tried to figure out what was strangling me. I was wheezing and panting and covered in sweat, I couldn't see anything, Glamora this was so terrible. I didn't want to do this anymore, I was sick of it. I just wanted to go home and curl up in my den and cry for a hours by myself.

    Someone wrapped their arms around me.

    "Zara?" Jay asked quietly.

    He had climbed onto the couch with me. He was next to me. We were both humans. In a human house. Jack. It all came rushing back.

    I started crying.

    He hugged me tight, which was easier in a human body. I wasn't really processing much else besides Jay was here and Zach wasn't. Zach isn't here.

    "Do you- do you really think this will work?" I choked out breathily.

    "The quest?" He asked softly.

    "Yeah. Do you think it's worth it?"

    "Of course, I mean look how far we've come already." Jay pointed out, rubbing my back gently. "You've been doing an amazing job."

    I didn't reply to that. I felt a little better, but something was still nagging me.

    "What if I'm just making this all up? What if I'm crazy."

    "Only Jelu could make up something this wild, we both know that." Jay replied.

    He was right. Of course he was. Jay's voice was low and smooth and always right. Whether we were doing something irresponsible or making important deductions, Jay had always been there with a level head.

    He also loves me.

    I pushed that though away. Thinking about that make me feel bad. I didn't want to think about labels right now, I just didn't want to let go. I was afraid if he let go I might let go of myself, and spiral uncontrollably into nothingness. I needed him to stay with me.

    "You feeling better?" He comminuted, after a period of silence. "You wanna talk about it?"

    "I keep seeing him die, Jay, I can't seem to forget it." I breathed out shakily.

    "One of the perks of being blind I suppose." He said gently. "Me too, I don't really see much since I didn't see it in the first place, but I can hear it. I hate it too."

    "You never told me you got nightmares too."

    "No, you had enough to deal with already at the time." He explained. "I had to to be there for you."

    I bit my lip. I felt guilty. He was always there for me and I rebuked him.

    "You want to go back to sleep? It's late." He offered. "We've got a big day tomorrow."

    "Yeah." I agreed.

    We broke apart awkwardly for a moment, until I noticed he was starting to stand up.

    "Wait-!" I half-whispered panicking. "Uh, um. You wouldn't...you wouldn't mind staying right?"

Please.

    He stiffened, then relaxed. "Of course."

It was a small couch, but he fit next to me. He pulled up the blanket and I scooted under it, feeling better. My hands still shook, so last minute I grabbed one of his and held it lightly. Jay had frozen up once I did this, but eventually relaxed and squeezed my hand back gently. My eyes were already starting to feel heavy again. I managed to sleep through the rest of the night with no more horrible nightmares.