Jay was forced to sit along the side of the ship lined up with the twenty other soldiers that were aboard, the captain at the end. He couldn't get the image of Zuko out of his head, that look in his eyes he's seen so many times but it was always towards the enemy.

Ever since he met the other soldier he's seen that blank stare when Zuko was on the battle field, almost like he was disassociated when he's in that mindset of a soldier. The way Zuko was ready to throw him over the side of the balcony, it wasn't a far fall but it would've hurt if he did it. But after the fight was over Zuko would always be back to himself.

Except now.

Zuko was farthest from them as the other teenagers were discussing what to do next. But Zuko still had that emotionless expression as he stared at the ground, arms crossed right to his chest.

He hasn't been the same since lee died.

He's seen the kid covered in blood, injured, sleep deprived, hell, he's known the kid since he's had that scar. But something snapped in him that day he came back from the North Pole. Jay saw him collapse in sobs and cried like the child he was. He's never seen that.

"Hey Runt," jay called. The other teenagers looked at the man confused but Zuko didn't move.

"Oi I'm talking to you!" He raised his voice.

"Zuko!" He barked.

The runt finally looked at him, almost looking lost.

His eyes went to the girl in blue as she seemed concerned for him. It almost seemed like they were communicating without a word to be said. Reassurance and guidance.

"So your fighting for the other side? What happened to going back to the fire nation? Betraying your country now? That's not the runt I knew," jay kept talking just to get some sort of reaction from him.

"Why does he keep calling you a runt?" Toph asked confused.

"No one liked my nickname for him back with the troops, Lee just kept calling him runt, it stuck," jay grinned a little. The girl in blue looked at Jay with a warning as she clenched her fists. She knew.

"He's from your old troops? Just him?" Katara asked finally.

"Yea, he wasn't at the North Pole," Zuko gulped a little.

"And runt wasn't an insult," he mumbled.

"What would lee think of you now?" Jay asked.

Zuko didn't know how to react, it hurt to see one of his brothers. Someone he's spent every day and every night with for three years, he's wrapped his wounds and served him meals. Jay was one of the men that were more light hearted, joked and pranked, a lot like Sokka even.

"I don't care, it doesn't matter, lees dead," Zuko snarled back darkly.

"Then why the hell are You helping the water tribe?! The avatar?! The one that kills us!" He yelled.

"Don't know, kind of just happened," Zuko kept his arms crossed to his chest. "When you see so many people die you kind of get lost of what to fight for, does it really matter which side of this war I die on?"

"We never wanted you to be one of those body's we've had to bury," Jay whispered hurt. "We're family, we looked out for you,"

Zuko nodded agreeing with that, he knew they were all looking out for each other. But he had to let that part of his life go, he didn't have anything to fight for anymore. He just wanted peace, he wanted to see the world at peace.

"It doesn't matter," he looked down at him.

A tear ran down Jays face as he swallowed a lump in his throat, he clenched his jaw feeling the pain aching in his chest. The runt. Their littlest soldier, that child that they've seen grown into the soldier he was now. It all seemed so far away now.

"Come on," Katara placed a hand on his shoulder. "We're gonna get the tribe now, they'll take care of them,"

Zuko nodded, turning his back on his brother and followed her.

"Zuko! Zuko wait, please!" Jay begged as more tears threatened at the corners of his eyes.

"You were one of us! You were our brother!"

"You traitor!"

—

"Hakoda we have a situation," bato called with a sigh. Looking at the fire nation ship with appa looking over the side down at them.

"It's the kids again," he didn't seem to phased at the successful mission they put themself on.

"What?" Hakoda didn't get it till he saw the ship.

"Who is all on that ship...?" He blinked surprised.

"All of them," bato nodded. Sokka waved down at them with a bright smile.

"Hey dad I had an idea," Sokka called down as Katara walked over and gave a small wave to their dad.

"Had?" Hakoda raised a brow.

—

Sokka explained to the water tribe the plan of how they should use the fire nation ship to sail and stay out of suspension for other fire nation ships to attack them. To keep Aang safe while he recovered.

Hakoda picked a dozen of his men to join them on the fire nation ship to go undercover, they changed into the soldiers armor including Sokka, Jet and Zuko. The rest of the tribe took the remaining soldiers, when the night fell they would take them to one of their allies.

"Are you okay?" Katara asked seeing Zuko standing further from the rest as he watched Jay out the corner of his eye.

"Don't say your fine cause I know your not," she cut him off when he was about to answer.

"I'll be okay," he pursed his lips.

"Do you want to talk to him?" She asked quietly.

"What do I have to say? We're on different sides now," Zuko shrugged. "It's in the past,"

"You would kill for him before, it matters still, you're allowed to care, allowed to miss people," Katara sighed a little hugging her torso. It was getting cold.

"You should, I know your trying to be emotionless but this guy seems to care about you a lot, like your commander," she looked over at Jay sympathetically.

"Will you come with?" He gulped.

"Only if You want me too," she smiled.

Zuko nodded and Katara went to get Sokka for a knife to cut him lose.

"Oi, Jay, let's go," Zuko motioned for the only man he knew amongst the other soldiers.

"Oh now you wanna talk?" Jay scoffed.

"Yea, I do," he nodded as Sokka went to cut him lose from the others and helped him stand.

Jay followed them to somewhere more private as he looked at the water tribe that were now imposters of their nation. How disgusting.

"I'll be outside," Sokka told them when they went in the hall. He looked at his sister and she nodded back at him as she stayed with Zuko. He let them be.

"You made friends I see," Jay snorted and looked at Katara. "Or more than friends?"

"You've changed Zuko, I thought everything was going to get better, we saw You smile we saw You laugh! You come back and leave then betray your country, betray us, what the hell is wrong with you? Did the last three years mean nothing?" Jay bashed at him as Zuko leaned against the wall with his arms crossed.

"If you think your going to get a reaction or a whole break down over a few years of sleeping in dirt and fighting then your going to be disappointed," Zuko sighed tilting his head to the side.

"Is it really cause lee died that you don't care anymore? I know you use too," Jay scoffed.

"Losing lee was one thing, but when Azula took me to help her was a lie, she never wanted my help she wanted to put me behind bars or executed, I lost everything," he rubbed his neck closing his eyes.

"Jay I don't know what to do, should I just hand myself over to the fire lord and be a prisoner? Should I let the earth kingdom kill me? What am I suppose to do? I don't belong anywhere," he spat getting angry at the last month of his life has been like. He had no options.

"I never took you as a coward, runt," Jay sighed shaking his head.

Zuko rolled his eyes, he didn't look bothered, Katara couldn't help but glance seeing if there was anything there.

"Katara they're loading up the soldiers," Sokka knocked. "Almost done?"

"Good luck Jay, safe travels," Zuko nodded firmly.

"That's it?" Jay sneered.

"Don't die," he said looking at him seriously. Katara gently set a hand on jays shoulder and lead him out of the fire nation halls.

Zuko went the opposite way quickly and went around the corner to get away from the others. He let out a shaky breath and covered his face, sliding down the wall holding his breath.

"No," he whispered as a few tears ran down his face. Why? Why did it hurt? He wasn't injured but his body was in so much pain. He covered his mouth with one hand and rapidly wiped tears off his skin but it wouldn't stop. he just wanted it to stop. Why? He wished Lee was still here. He wished it was simple like before.

Sokka waited at the end of the hall and made sure no one came back. He made sure Zuko didn't know he was there.

But he listened to the soldier that was only a few months younger than he was cry, he sobbed but tried to silence himself, it was upsetting to stand by and do nothing but Sokka knew him enough that Zuko never wanted to look weak.

"Hey what's going on?" Toph found Sokka just standing there.

"Nothing, are the soldiers gone?" Sokka lead her away and let Zuko be.