Chapter 38 - Goodbye, Lake

I stare at the lake as I take a deep breath. It's my last day here and I can't believe summer is almost over. It's been two weeks since Niall and Harry left. Mare also left and it took me two weeks to set everything ready to leave. I talked to all my sisters and I'll be moving out with Mary. She's exhilarated that I'm going to London to live with her and pursue my career as singer slash songwriter. She wanted me to be there last week. She is ready to introduce me to everyone she knows.

But I've talked to Niall. Of course I told him. I even sent Mare a letter telling her and apologising. I don't think it'll make a difference, but I had to write her. To tell her I'm sorry for overreacting, for stabbing her in the back when all she did was help me. I'm still devastated that I ruined that friendship by rushing to conclusions , but I've learnt from that experience. If I make a new friend, I'll make sure to always let them explain what really happened.

And that's exactly why I've texted Niall to tell him what I'm doing. He is also super happy and he says he knows exactly to whom he can introduce me. So I have a meeting next week. I'm really nervous, but I think I'll be okay.

I also told Clara that I want to see a specialist for my disorder. I think I'll need medication to control my anxiety if I really want to do this, and for that I'llrequire an expert's help. This time I want to be helped, I'll talk to this person. Clara booked me an appointment with a psychiatrist she knows who's really good. I trust Clara for this, she's a nurse, after all.

I know I'll go through many changes, but I'm willing to face them all to accomplish what I want. I won't be alone. I have my family... I have friends. And I hope I'll make new ones.

During all this time I've tried not to think of Harry. It's the only thing I can't get over. I miss him and I can't believe I let him go without clearing all this up. I could tell Niall to give me Harry's number and try to meet with him in London, but then... then I get scared.

Maybe I can send him a letter, too. Like I did with Mare. Maybe he can forgive me and we can be friends. But I don't want to be friends with Harry. That's the problem. I love him and being friends with him is not what my heart wants. The idea of only being friends, like I'm friends with Niall, only hurts. I know whatever we had is broken and there's no way to fix it.

Mare's last homework was to be a grownup. A grownup faces the consequences of her acts, and that's what I'm doing. I made a huge mistake with Harry and I ruined things between us. I have to accept that. I have to move on and make sure I don't even make the same mistake. Of course, if I ever fall for another boy again. I think Harry's memory will always haunt me.

"I'll miss this place," I whisper softly. A sound that the winds carries away, taking it to the water itself.

I'll miss it very much, but I'll come back every chance I get. Of that I'm sure. I can't be kept apart from this place for too long. And if I make it, if I actually make it as a singer, I'll make sure of helping Dad so he won't have to rent this place. So it'll be only for his use.

"I'm ready," I state in another whisper and turn around, but when I do I almost get a heart attack.

There, a few steps away from me, standing with a concerned expression, almost fearful, with his hands in his pockets, is Harry.

"Harry?" I ask dumbfounded. I try to blink away the confusion, but it's not really working. "Wh-what are you doing here?"

"Niall," he answers sounding unsure, an awkward smile on his lips. "He told me 'Are you just gonna let her walk away like I did? Didn't you learn anything from me?'" Harry chuckles humourlessly. "And for many days I've been thinking of what to do. He gave me your number," he carries on and I keep staring at him blankly. "But I couldn't just call you. To be honest I was scared that you would just hang up on me the moment I told you it was me."

A small chuckle escapes my lips when he says that and my reaction seems to relieve him a bit because his smile changes, it becomes more hopeful.

"I couldn't come earlier. Too busy. In fact, I just came for the day," he explains and I nod. What if he had come tomorrow? He wouldn't have found me here. "I just need you to know it's not what you think it happened, Ariel."

"I know," I say and he gapes at me, shock written all over his face. "I mean, I figured I overreacted and what really happened is something far from what I imaged," I say very eloquently, making myself proud.

"Oh," he says and I see him shifting his weight from one foot to the other. "In that case I think I... uh. Well... Would you let me tell you what happened?" I nod and he sighs. "When I heard her sing I felt that same thing I felt when she saved me. Or that I thought in that moment," he laughs and I just smile. "I felt safe, home. So it had to be her, right? So after the performance I went to talk to her. She was so busy that I couldn't talk for a while with her. In my mind all I was thinking was 'I can't be mad at Ariel's friend. I need to make things clear so I can give closure to all this.'"

I blink surprised. At that moment he was thinking of me.

"When I finally managed to approach her I asked her to come with me somewhere else. So many people wanted to talk to her and this was private, you know? She accepted after I insisted and when we were alone I asked her why she didn't let me thank her before. She was so confused and for a while we couldn't really communicate until she figured it all out. She told me that it was you singing, not her. You two were a team. You the voice, she the presence on the stage. I was really confused about many things. At first I was angry, you know? Because you ran and didn't let me thank you. Then I understood why, but I was mad because you never told me it was you, when you had the chance. But then I couldn't just be mad at you at all. I just wanted to understand, you know?" I nod, pressing my lips in a tight line.

I know I was a coward. I could've avoided many things if I had been sincere since the beginning. But now I can't cry over what I did. The past is in the past and it's time to move forward.

"And when I came to look for answers you wouldn't even listen to me. That day I came to tell you that even if you lied to me, even if you didn't trust me I couldn't be mad at you, Ariel. I could never be mad at you for being scared because I get it," I smile sadly at him, my heart racing in my chest at his words. Feeling warm again.

I hadn't noticed how cold I was until that moment. Cold as ice since I walked out on him.

"That day I came to tell you that I-" Harry takes a step closer, then another until we are face to face. His eyes are intent on me and I feel like those moths come alive again, making me feel all tingly. "-that I can't possibly be mad at you because I am mad, Ariel. Mad about you."

I feel my heart stopping not only because of his words, but the tense in his verbs. It's present. He didn't say he was mad about me, he is. Right now.

And as fast as my heart stopped it starts beating again, faster and stronger than ever. And I feel my limbs shaking again, a lump in my throat that doesn't let me speak.

"I know you don't want to leave this place and that asking you to be with me is selfish because I know my world would destroy you, but I can't help it. Ariel, I'm mad about you. I couldn't bear the thought of you being angry at me because of a misunderstanding. I couldn't stand that. I had to come, to make you understand and to beg for a chance. I know it's hard, especially with you being here and me in London, or everywhere else," he chuckles nervously, taking another step closer. So close to me. "But I'm here, begging you. Ariel, please-"

"I'm leaving," I cut him off, confusing him beyond words. He blinks quickly, trying to understand why I interrupted him and I laugh. "I'm not staying here at the lake. I'm leaving to London, tomorrow to be precise. I'm going to pursue my dream. I always wanted to be a singer and I'm gonna try to accomplish that," I tell him and his surprise turns into sheer happiness and before I can say another word he grabs me in his arms and hugs me tightly, spinning me around.

I hug him back as tightly as I can, laughing with him, feeling the joy of the moment.

Harry puts me on my feet again but his hands stay on my waist, keeping me close to him. His eyes lock with mine and we're so close. His face just a few centimetres from mine and I'm holding my breath. Last time we were this close he almost kissed me. I honestly believe now that he is going to do that.

And I want him to do that now. I really do.

"Ariel," he whispers and I just make a sound in response. "Will you please, please, let me kiss you?"

I chuckle ever so softly, wearing my best smile as I nod. Nervous to no end, but excited.

He smiles back and his hands slide to my small of my back, pressing me against his body as he lowers his head, his nose brushing against mine, his lips so close. I'm so nervous, I think I'm going to lose my heart, that it's going to burst out of my chest, but I can't even think of pulling back. Instead, I close my eyes as I slide my hands to the back of his head, ruffling his soft curls with my fingers.

And then I feel it, his lips on mine in a soft pressure. Soft and warm, gently and carefully he kisses me. My heart stops and then races even faster than before. But then Harry pulls back and looks me in the eyes, a clear question in his eyes that doesn't need to be answered with words. I just smile at him and lean even closer before he smiles radiantly and bends down to kiss me again.

He hugs me tighter this time, his lips move against mine, carefully teaching me what to do. I had never been kissed before and I was scared. I didn't know what to expect or what to do, but Harry knows. He is careful and patient and kisses me as he teaches me. Then I just stop thinking and let myself be, so I kiss him back. I enjoy the soft pressure of his lips, the gentle plead to move in sync with him, the sweetness of his mouth.

My head is spinning and I don't feel my feet touching the ground, but that could be because Harry is holding me above the ground. All the moths in my belly are going crazy, dancing at a unique rhythm.

He then pulls back breaking the kiss but still keeping me close. His smile is bright and precious and all I see in his eyes is happiness. The same happiness I'm feeling inside. I feel like bursting out laughing.

"You know I've been dying to do this since I met you," he confesses with a cheeky grin and I laugh. "But waiting was worth it."

"Delayed gratification," I say and he laughs now. I lean in, resting my head in his chest as his hands rub my back. "I'm glad you came. I was afraid of going looking for you."

"I'm glad I came today and not tomorrow," he jokes and I chuckle. Always grateful for that. "Ari, just in case it wasn't clear, I was asking you to be my girlfriend."

I laugh and hug him tighter, feeling so safe in his arms. Almost as if I were in the water. "And just in case it wasn't clear, I said yes."

He pulls back and looks at me with a dashing smile before he kisses me one more time and I kiss him back, realising I'm really learning how to do this. I'm not an expert in these things. I'm not an expert in relationships or socialising at all. I really know so little about the world, but you know what they say: practice makes perfect. And I'm all up for practice.

-:-:-

And that's it! the official last chapter. However, THERE IS AN EPILOGUE! So don't delete the story just yet. I'll post it on Sunday, I believe. Also, an author's note to explain why I'm leaving wattpad... in case you haven't seen all the messages I've sent everywhere. So you should totally read it to know what's going to happen to this series, and to be more specific, to the third book.

BTW, Havi says hi!

I hope you enjoyed the happy ending (:

Bel, xx

PS: the fact that the kiss was at the very last chapter was my way to punish you for being so mean to Ella in CME and to Mare. Muahahhaha!