Chapter 21 - Language

After a while, Harry needs to leave and I have to do my own chores around. Although I’d like to stay and spend more time with him, I think it’s better to part ways for now. I’m just starting to get comfortable around him and I can’t take that much all at once. Small doses are safer.

Even when he’s not around anymore, I don’t lose my smile and that happiness that makes me want to burst out singing. That energy inside of me, that feeling that I’m on top of the world. I remember his smile and the way he looked at me and I feel happy again. I remember the way his hand felt in mine and I feel my heart racing all over again. I wonder if I’ll stop feeling this way one day, if I’ll get so used to talk to people, to Harry, that it won’t be special anymore. Maybe it’s going to be like it’s for anyone else: something normal.

I kind of like how it is now. Not the how difficult it is part, but the how special it is. I like that just saying hello is something big and important. I like that even a few sentences are a big progress. I like the feeling of achievement that takes over me later. I don’t want to lose that, but I know that if I keep improving and doing my homework, the day when conversing with someone will come eventually.

I wonder if other people marvel at the idea of talking to someone else. Do they see how magical it is to establish conversation? Do they realise how incredible is to be able to speak your mind and get your point across? Do they understand how wonderful is to hear someone’s thought and understand someone else? Do they grasp how beautiful is to share ideas? Or do they take communication for granted?

I think… I think that even if talking becomes natural for me, I’ll never take it for granted. I already appreciate how special speaking is; it will always be something I hold dear to me. Like the lake. That thought puts me at ease, knowing that I’ll never be someone who doesn’t appreciate the importance of communication. A proper communication, with all the words so you can express properly.

At dinner I even ask Dad about this.

“Do you realise how marvellous communication is?” I ask him playing a bit with the food on my plate.

He remains in silence for a bit before answering, “I never stopped to think about it, but now that you mention it, I can see it. It must be really hard not being able to say what you want.” And he stays quiet again and I know he’s staring at me. “It must be so hard for you because I know you have so much to say. You see things that everybody else takes for granted.”

“I’m… I’m actually managing to say what’s in my mind to others. I hope one day I’ll be able to do it more confidently,” I whisper and the next second I feel his hand grabbing mine.

“You’ll accomplish anything that you want, if you really want it, Ariel. Just keep doing your best.” I look up and meet his eyes. Dad is smiling kindly at me, fatherly, in that way that makes me feel protected. I see him again like the most powerful man on Earth, a man who can save from any monster and threat. I see him again like the hero I always thought he was when I was a little girl, like the king of the seas.

“Thank you, Dad,” I tell him with a smile. It’s always nice knowing that someone believes in you. It’s easier to believe in yourself when someone else already does it.

After that the rest of dinner goes by easily and soon I have to say goodnight and leave to the retreat centre after I make sure Dad goes to bed. I make my way to the complex calmly, humming a song by Jessie J until I finally arrive to my destination. As Mare is not around, I start cleaning and tuning all the instruments, enjoying my time alone with them. I know she’ll come later to show me the video and keep working on my problem. I want to tell her about today, I want to see her happy because I keep making progress.

After a while, once I’m done and I’m just playing the piano, the doors open and I expect Mare to walk in, but my heart stops when I see another person, and not any person: Harry Styles. I blink in surprise and I know I’m holding my breath. I’m not moving and neither is Harry, he’s still by the door, watching me with a surprised expression.

“Ariel, what are you doing here?” he asks, finally breaking the silence and stepping closer. I take a breath and tell my heart to beat again or I’ll die.

“I’m… I’m… I’m…” I stutter, not able to actually get more words out of my mouth. I look away and close my eyes tightly, my whole body shaking and my heart racing now. I liked it better when it stopped.

I think of Mare, of her words and I picture her telling me to calm down. Smiling at me and saying that I can do this, I need to relax. It’s Harry, I’ve talked to him before, I shouldn’t react like this.

After a deep breath, I say, “I work here, too. I… I clean and tune the… instruments,” I finally say. Not very eloquently, if I say so myself, but at least it’s something.

“Oh, you also help here?” he asks and I nod. “That’s… well, nice. I was passing by and I heard the music. I was looking for Niall, I thought he might be here.”

I smile, noticing that he always seems be looking for Niall. “Is he… hiding from you?” I ask and I feel him taking a seat next to me on the bench in front of the piano.

“I dunno… maybe. I don’t blame him, you know?” he says and I look at him just to see sadness in his eyes. “I forced him to come here. I thought I was helping but… I guess I was just being selfish. I wanted to see her again.”

My heart twists when I hear him saying that. Her? Did he come here for a girl? A girl he met before?

“H-h-her?” I ask, trying to swallow the lump in my throat.

“Ella,” he says and now I’m utterly confused. “Niall’s girlfriend… well, ex-girlfriend, I guess. He met her last summer when we came here and they… well, they fell in love. I’ve never seen him like that before. But things didn’t end well and… well, we haven’t heard of her since last summer so I thought coming here would help but it’s only hurt Niall. I insisted and insisted to come here even when he didn’t want to. I wanted to help him to find her again but I also wanted to see her.” I watch him carefully whilst he keeps his eyes locked on the keys of the piano. Did… did he also fall in love with Ella? “We became friends, you know? She treated me like a little brother, an annoying little brother. She would always come up with a way to insult me and reject me,” he laughs and I frown. That doesn’t sound friendly. “She was just… fun to be around. Obsessed with Harry Potter so we had that in common. I thought of her as a dear friend and it hurt me as well when she cut ties with us.”

He sounds sad and I don’t know if he ever felt romantically attracted to her, but he sounds sad, like he’s lost someone important. Maybe he only saw her as a friend and he misses her, but he doesn’t know where she’s now. I wonder what went wrong.

“I’m… I’m sorry,” I offer although I know it’s not my fault, but it’s what you say in these situations, isn’t it?

“I should’ve thought of him instead of forcing him to come here.” Harry takes a pause and his right hand starts to press some keys at random. “But I don’t regret coming. Does that make me a bad friend?” he asks next and this time he looks at me, his eyes tormented with guilt and I feel like reaching and hugging him, just to offer some comfort.

“No,” I say. “You like this place, you can’t regret coming here. But you’re still concerned. You’re not a bad friend.”

Harry looks down, a sad smile on his face and I do something I never thought I would do, but then I’ve never been in a situation like this one. I reach out to grab his hand, the one on the keys. I hear him softly gasp at the contact and his eyes fly to meet mine, surprise written all over his features. I smile at him.

“You’re not a bad friend,” I reassure him squeezing his hand a bit, feeling my heart beating even faster and I’m hyperaware of every cell in my body, but I don’t let go.

Slowly, a smile forms on his lips and his eyes don’t look that sad. I know that even if my words were simple and almost meaningless, they lifted some weight of his shoulders.

Language is so magical, it can make a person feel better even if they are just simple words like mine. They can take some pain away and make someone smile again. I never imagined that I could do that to someone else.

This is so wonderful.

“Thank you,” he whispers and I smile wider, until I hear the door opening again and I drop Harry’s hand immediately, scared by the sudden of events.

I see Mare walking in and she stops to take notice of the scene in front of her eyes, the shy girl she’s been working with and a boy sitting next to her. I don’t want to imagine how we look like right now.

“Ari,” Mare greets, a cheeky smile on her lips. Harry realises someone else is in the room and he turns around to see Mare watching us. “You have company,” she adds walking towards us. “Hello, I’m Mare. Nice to meet you,” she says charmingly, just like she always does. With a bright smile and without stuttering, so easily. The words just flow out of her mouth without problem.

“Hi, I’m Harry,” he replies with a smile of his own and standing up to shake her hand in a polite greeting. “Ariel has mentioned you before. You two are friends.”

Mare looks at me and I know she’s asking me if this boy is the one I’ve told her about. I feel my cheeks burning and that’s all the answer she needs. “Oh, Ari has told me about you, too. And yes, we’re friends,” she smiles and I can’t help it, a little smile comes to my lips when I hear that she considers me a friend.

Harry turns around to look at me, a smile on his lips as well and I feel my cheeks burning even brighter. This situation is mortifying.

“So you’re helping her?” Harry asks Mare, moving away so she can sit next to me.

“I try, but Ari is the one really helping here. Did she tell you?” Mare asks him and Harry shakes his head. “She’s helping me with my music. She’s a very talented musician.”

Harry looks at me again, surprise and curiosity in his eyes, so I look away because I don’t know what else to do in this situation.

“And well, as she’s helping me we need to start practicing. This is the only time we get to practice.” Mare doesn’t exactly say it, but Harry gets the message behind her words.

“Oh right, I’ll get going. Good luck and uh… Ariel, I see you around,” he says looking right at me.

“See you, Harry,” I reply with a shy smile and he turns away before he says goodbye to Mare, as well.

I know Mare will say something, so I wait. I just wait until it comes. “Well, he’s really cute and you two look lovely together. I approve!” she chirps and I gasp, which only makes her laugh. “When you said you talked to a guest I never thought it was that guest. Well done, Ari. You totally get extra credit for talking to Harry Styles,” Mare laughs and I groan. “Anyway, let’s start today’s session. We have work to do.”

And I thank for that. I really don’t want to talk about Harry anymore.

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Hello! It's Maquita again :)I'm back doing le asistant job.

The chapter is dedicated to @luxuarry for in Bel's words "appreciating the meaning of my stories."

NU: Tuesday