Chapter 11 - Talents

As I walk towards the centre at night I keep singing to myself, just to keep my mind off of things for a while. I sing Yours Truly by Paradise Fears because that’s probably my favourite song by them. It’s a beautiful song and playing it on the piano always gives me this amazing feeling and I just close my eyes and imagine things beings so different. I picture myself on a stage, all black with just a spotlight on the piano I’m playing, I can’t even see the crowd, but I play and sing with all the passion that songs awaken in me.

So singing as I walk, imagining this helps me quite a lot not to think of anything else but music.

By when I’m in the centre I’ve sung the song a few times and I’ve even made a mash up with other songs with a similar base. And I’m all right until I set foot in the centre, seeing all the people there. Although it’s past ten and that part of the complex is never crowded, I still see some people. No one pays attention to me, though, just a girl walking by the wall, almost as if I could turn into the paint covering the walls. A girl walking with her eyes locked on her feet, with my red hair falling around my face like a waterfall, hiding me from the rest. I hug myself, my arms tightly wrapped around my own waist in a defensive posture. I don’t honestly think they’ll harm me, why would they do that? Still, my body reacts like that and my anxiety kicks in, making my heart race as I know people are passing by.

I try to hurry to the music room but I don’t know why, today there are more people around than usual. Not guests but other employees, going from one place to another and I wonder if there’s something going on.

I see the big door to the music room and I plan to run towards it but I hear someone laughing and I don’t know why, but that makes me stop. I press myself against the wall as if I could be part of it and I even hold my breath as I look around, looking for the source of that laughter. I don’t know why I can’t ignore this and my heart is racing even faster as I keep watching, until I find them.

Harry and Niall, both coming with robes and wet hair, probably from the pool, laughing out loud. In fact, it looks like Niall is kind of dying and I wonder if I should worry about his wellbeing, but if Harry doesn’t seem concerned, then the blond one must be all right.

They walk past me, like I’m not standing there, ignoring me like everyone else does and for the first time I mind. Probably because it’s Harry, because I’ve wanted to talk to him all this time and he’s gone after me to the lake, but when I’m here, when I’m in his kingdom —kind of— he doesn’t see me. And my eyes are locked on him, following him until he disappears. Only then I sigh deeply, defeated, I even feel like I shrunk and I’m smaller than what I already am.

“Hey Harry,” I whisper closing my eyes. That’s what I should’ve said when he was passing by, I should’ve called his name and greet him, tell him sorry for not answering before and that I’m not mute. But of course, I didn’t do that.

I shake my head and sigh once again, just to tear myself apart from the wall and finally make my way to the music room. It’s actually pointless to stay here, dwelling on something I didn’t do. The past can’t be changed, after all.

I close the doors behind me with another deep breath and instead of immediately starting cleaning I grab one of the guitar and start playing any song that comes to my mind. I find myself playing Falling Slowly and that song puts me at ease. I love that song, I love the musical Once, it’s so amazing and all the songs are plain incredible. Falling Slowly is probably one of the best songs in existence; I just love it.

After I finish it, I put the guitar aside and go to the wardrobe to start cleaning and making sure all the instruments are properly tuned. Soon I can’t think of anything else but the instruments and as I take care of each one, as I caress each one in my mind I see myself playing them, making music.

When I’m done I sit by the piano but I’m not actually playing a song, I just press the keys, throwing notes at random.

“What? Not playing a song today?” I hear someone asking, scaring the living days out of me that I scream and, once again, fall on my bum.

I look up and find Mare laughing at me, with an amused smile on her lips.

“You get scared so easily,” she says walking towards me and then helping me on my feet again.

“I-I didn’t… I didn’t hear you coming,” I answer stuttering and avoiding her eyes.

“I noticed that,” she giggles. “But really, why aren’t you playing one of your magnificent songs? When I walked by and I only heard notes I thought someone else was here.”

I look at the piano and think of why I wasn’t playing a song but just notes.

“I dunno,” I reply in a whisper. “I didn’t know what song to play, I guess.”

Mare cocks her head to the right and studies me as if she were trying to find out what’s wrong with me. I remember seeing her this morning with Carl, flirting so easily, talking without a problem. And now she’s here, trying to have a conversation with me. I reckon I’m not helping her.

“Do you have another original song?” she asks me and I nod. “Would you play it for me? I’d love to hear it. I know you said you would never play for others, but maybe I can still hear your talent.”

I stare at her, thinking. I can do that, it’s just here and she’s heard me before so I guess there’s no problem there. So I nod and sit in front of the piano again, caressing the keys as I think of what song to play for Mare. Without warning me, she sits by my side and smiles at me. Having her so close makes me nervous, only my family has been this close and it’s weird having someone I barely know touching me. But I tell myself it’s just Mare, she wants to hear me play, that’s all.

I pick one of the songs I wrote when my mum passed away, a song not just to mourn but to remember her for all the good things, all the sweet memories. It’s not a song with lyrics, it’s just a melody that reminds me of my mother, it’s a melody that brings my mum’s smile to my mind and I feel happy again because it’s almost as if she were here, next to me, in every note.

When I finish playing this lullaby I look at Mare she has teary eyes and even a tear rolling down her cheek.

“That was beautiful,” she says wiping the tear away. “Doesn’t it have lyrics?”

“No,” I reply. “It’s just a lullaby. I wrote it for my mum,” I reply surprised that it’s not as hard to speak after playing that song, when I still feel the music embracing me.

“Your mum must be really proud of you for this,” she says and I lose my smile.

“I hope so,” I say in a whisper looking at the keys and how my fingers caress them. “She passed away.”

“Oh God, I’m so sorry!” Mare says but I shake my head.

“It’s okay. I wrote this after she passed away, it’s called Maeve.”

“Now I get why it made me cry,” Mare chuckles softly and I smile. “It has so much emotion, so much… love, I guess. It’s wonderful, Ariel.”

“Thank you,” I reply without meeting her eyes but I feel her hand on my thigh.

“And you don’t stutter that much now! Am I earning your trust?” she jokes and I chuckle softly.

“I think that’s your talent. You make people feel comfortable around you,” I say softly, looking at her for three seconds before focusing again on the piano keys.

“Why thank you!” Mare giggles and then she presses some keys on the piano. “When I was a kid I wanted to play every instrument, but that’s definitely not my talent. You make it look so easy, like you just have to press keys and a beautiful melody will come. How do you do that?”

I start playing a scale, slowly and Mare copies me. “It is easy to me, I don’t really know how to explain it,” I say doing the scale a bit faster this time, forcing Mare to do it at the same speed. “How do you do it?”

“Play the piano? I barely do it!” She laughs and I shake my head.

“Not that,” I clarify. “How do you make it look so easy to talk to others, to be so confident?” I ask and this time Mare stops playing and I guess she’s thinking.

“It’s natural to me,” she explains and my smile widens.

“You could learn to play the piano. Practice makes the master,” I tell her and she giggles again.

“And you could learn to be more outgoing, to believe in yourself,” she tells me but I snort.

“Do you really think someone like me could be like that? My hands are still sweating because I’m talking to you and I can barely talk to Timmy, and we’ve known each other for almost a year,” I confess and Mare bumps shoulders with me.

“Practice makes the master,” she uses my words and I smile. “And to answer you, I honestly think you can do it.”

I look at her, not fully believing what she says and soon a frown appears on my face but I think her mind is working really hard because I see how her smile widens and her eyes spark, an idea forming in her head.

“In fact, I think I have the perfect idea!” She exclaims. “The perfect solution.”

“Do you?” I ask, totally dumbfounded with her words.

“Yes!” She exclaims again, jumping to her feet. “You want to be more confident, you want to speak to people, don’t you? You want to make friends.”

I immediately see Harry in my head, the way he didn’t even notice me today and how I couldn’t even say you’re welcome when he thanked me.

“Yes,” I reply. I want to stop being this shy. I don’t think one day I’ll be as outgoing as Mare or any of my sisters, but maybe I can manage to talk to strangers and I can make some friends. At least, people won’t think I’m mute, just shy.

“And I want to be a star, I want to be famous.” I frown as I try to follow what she’s thinking. “I want to have your talent even if you don’t want to share it with the world yet you still want to live from your music, don’t you?” I nod. “Well, here’s my idea. You’ll be my voice and I’ll teach you to be more confident. You will sing, you’ll share your talent but I’ll be your face. I’ll face the cameras, the audience, but you’ll give the music.”

“I-I don’t think I get it,” I say and Mare giggles ever so excited.

“All I’m saying is that we should trade talents, help each other. You sing, I face the audience and I help you to be more confident. You’ll live from your music but you won’t have to deal with the crowd and media. We can work on this together. What do you say, Ariel?”

-:-:-:-

Dedication to @laly13 because she wrote a whole song for the 1D Series. I'd love to hear it one day, the lyrics are amazing.

Bel, xx