Hey, Little Shoppers!

Lei, here.

If you've read the chapter title , you probably have an idea where this might be leading to.

Problem is, I don't exactly know where to start or how to explain how I ended up here (but, I'll try.)

¤ PERSONAL LIFE ¤

Ever since the pandemic has changed the way we function and cope in our everyday lives, there has been multiple and continuous series of setbacks and tragedies in my area. 

There had been (positive) cases going on around the school I work in. This led to a detrimental effect on the work staff and basically, how the entire administration of one department (that I work under) had to reform after the loss of a beloved leader and administrator. 

The change in management, of course, took a rocky turn. That involves each and every faculty and staff to work harder and adapt faster to a different working environment. This also involved my colleagues and I to work overtime despite out part-time status. 

Another problem is the low compensation, despite the hard work we've put in. I'm just hoping our departments pull through this. Still, this leads me to the next factor...

¤ BUDGET - 404: NOT FOUND ¤

 I have 3 dogs; 2 big ones and 1 small breed. 

The thing about having pets is that, not only do they require love and affection, but a budget as well.

Not to mention, I needed to save up for a new laptop - which will probably end up to be just another unattainable dream. Unless, I take up other jobs.

¤ SUPPLEMENTAL CLASSES & SPECIAL CLASSES ¤

 But, I can't. 

Since my department is lacking in manpower, my colleagues and I had to handle more classes (classes that are not even what we majored in). Hence, I also have to learn while I teach. 

In addition to the six classes I'm currently teaching (that's 30 hrs/week, plus more hours for consultation and documentation), I found out that there was 1 class that wasn't credited to me because my school had a lockdown months before the end of the semester (and they just  let us assume we were all set for the licensure exam!)

Honestly, I'm still surprised I can still have time to breathe at this point.

¤ INSOMNIA ¤

It didn't help that I'm sleep-deprived from the chores, the long-hour homework, and my late-night anime binge-watching.

This took a toll on my health - physically and mentally. 

¤ THE WRONG HEADSPACE ¤

I have an OCP (Obsessive-Compulsive Personality), and that means I can be quite the perfectionist - especially in my works.

I wish designing could be the same as writing where I can function with a  phone, but my pixel paranoia demands that I work with a laptop or computer.

In addition to that, in my job, I tend to hyper-focus. In fact, I rely on it in my work process. 

I'm either 100% in that zone, or I'm not.

However, this presents a challenge to me whenever I try to design or create an artwork, 'coz I would be distracted by paperworks, memos and emails from my supervisors. 

The constant pauses just leaks any creative juice I have at those moments. that I would just stop everything.

¤ LEAVING THE LIBRARY COMMUNITY ¤

I think this was one of the hardest choices I had to make. 

It wasn't easy to acknowledge within myself that I just can't go on any longer. 

Call it paranoia, but I've always had this fear of not meeting expectations. When handling responsibilities, it was just a matter of time before I screw something up or leave this wonderful group of people hanging.  I didn't want that at all. 

So, imagine how grateful I am that we managed to find 2 more designers with promising potential. It had been a pleasure collaborating with them and seeing their growth. 

I am confident enough to leave the fate of the community's graphics in their hands.

Skittles_Lover0311 thank you so much for taking a chance on some random person like me, and building this beautiful community that enabled me to meet the awesome people in this site. 

You have been a constant rock and support throughout my time in the community.  

To my Little Shoppers, thank you for taking a chance on me as well. 

I know there are some of you hoping that I would open my shop again and take new requests.

And, I'm sorry for that.

Believe me, I wanna design to my heart's content,  but I also need to look after my health and my career.

Maybe, in the future I can open this shop again, but I can't guarantee that at the moment.

I just hope you guys understand. 

Thank you, and Happy Holidays! 

P.S.  Stay tuned for the last and special  chapter. 

❤❤❤❤

Lei

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