I honestly don't know anymore...
...I don't understand...
...I'm slowly losing myself here in this void...
I don't know my own feelings anymore.
I can only guess them with the understanding of words.
I don't even know what happened to the life of bonds I had before.
What caused her to changed,
How they felt of my disappearance,
If they remember me,
If I'm an annoyance to him,
To why I'm me,
And many more to my questioning.
I don't understand everything around me.
Although I have one of the best grades,
Reputation,
All of the awards,
And attention from my teachers
Out of everyone from my entire school,
I still don't know anything.
The expectations are too high and I'm drowning with this chain.
I don't know their feelings
And I don't know my own anymore.
I don't know-
I don't know-
I DON'T KNOW!
Don't expect me to be the perfect daughter
Or person.
You may not know this about me,
But stop calling me retarded and creepy.
I'm who I am
So don't think that I'm changing into someone bad.
To begin with,
I was always crazy,
Insane,
Emotional,
And so much more.
Don't put the blame to the things I love.
I was always just in hiding,
But it turns out that even if I just let my nature go out,
I'll be hated.
Who can I be in this reality?...
...I don't know anymore...
I've been trying to kill these voices,
But that's not enough.
I'm killing my mind and body.
I don't know anymore...
Who I am supposed to be,
What am I,
What feelings can I feel,
Why I can't smile,
And so much more to it all.
I don't know anymore...
I'm not a perfect human being...