Dear Dad,

I need to start with the most important thing, I love you, despite how our relationship has had it struggles through the years. A part of me will forever love and be grateful for everything you have done for me. Even if it felt like I was taking advantage of you.

I know I have disappointed you by doing this and you never really understood how my brain processed life and I know that you never will but that's okay, I understand. I was never the daughter you could really be proud of, you always had to help me get out of stupid situations I had gotten myself into. I am thankful for that and everything else, now and forever.

I just couldn't keep going anymore, I don't have the same brain as you. I felt like I was walking a tightrope, each misstep sending me closer to 1000ft drop below me. At least this way, I'm making the decision to let go, even if you don't understand it. I had hoped that I would have more time. I had been wishing that I would never get to this point in my life but I evidently have.

I'm not good with pressure or the possibility of failure and I knew both were coming for me with a vengeance. A small consolation is that you don't have to worry about paying for me anymore and you can sell all my stuff, although I'm not sure how much it would go for and you can use the money for bills.

I'm sorry if you were hoping for more time or being able to see me grow and have a family of my own but I guess that wasn't in the cards for me. Maybe in the next life, if I get one.

I cherish the time we had, fights and all and I love the experience and places you showed me around the world and at home. They remain some of my fondest memories.

Follow your son, he was always the one who was going places and they will be bright and shiny and wonderful.

I was going nowhere, just trailing behind everyone else, growing slower as the years went on, until eventually my joints froze and I couldn't move further. I'm sorry I disappointed you further, I never meant to hurt you like this.

Love your selfish daughter.