The good times of today, are the sad thoughts of tomorrow.

~ Bob Marley

***

"I'm not going." I state.

Seeing him this afternoon has made me into a stubborn, cynical mess, not that I'm not one already. After those awful, heart aching few seconds, I impulsively shifted the car into reverse and got out of there like the devil was chasing me down the highway to hell. We're at my house now sprawled across my room, Amelia sitting on one of my charcoal-colored bean bags, Hayden lying down on the ground with her favorite blanket of mine, Abbie leaning against my vaulted wall reading Sherlock Holmes, and Caitlyn and I on my bed eating a bag of hot Cheetos.

"Yes you are." Hayden corrects me. "And no, I don't care if you don't want to, because you are coming no exceptions."

"Adding to that," Caitlyn chimes in before popping a handful of Cheetos in her mouth. "You never come over to binge when the guys come, you need to get over what's-his-bucket and live a little bit."

Hayden nods and rolls herself up in my blanket, earning a death glare from me. She knows how much I love that thing.

"Yeah Cole. It's not like we're going to be smoking pot or drinking or screwing each other in her mom's bed." Abbie says for once looking up from her book. Then with a glance at Hayden, the only hard partier amongst us, she adds, "I mean, Hayden might be."

"Shut up, Abs!" Hayden snaps and she chucks a pillow her way. Amelia rolls her eyes at them and Caitlyn says,

"If my parents found out we were doing that kind of crap they'd kick me out and move to Montana," I crunch on my hot Cheetos and scoff. "No joke."

"I'm not going," I say again. "And you can't make me."

"Oh yes we can." Abbie answers, pausing her smacking Hayden with her book.

"Watch us." Hayden says. Amelia smiles almost sinisterly, which is not a norm for her.

"If you don't willingly come, you can be assured that we'll find a way to get you there anyways." She says as-a-matter-of-factly.

"Plus there's the fact that we must see what is between you and Mac Thompson." Caitlyn finishes. I feel my face go slack and my chewing slow down. Damn it.

I resist the urge to hide under my covers and cower for an eternity, but I'm afraid I'll feel the stares of my friends even through the blankets. I resume my eating pace and reply coolly,

"Nothing's between us."

"My ass." Hayden snaps, obviously ignoring the cursing rule in my house. "You freaking liar."

"Yeah." Abbie says. "Why would you avoid the topic if 'nothing is between you'?"

"Amen to that." Amelia says.

"Because nothing is!" I practically shout. "I don't know why you guys are making such a big deal about it when there's nothing to tell!"

"But you know there is Cole," Hayden says. "You just are afraid to admit it."

Silence. Dead cold silence that makes me want to punch a damn wall. Before I can deny anything, my phone buzzes and I eagerly grab for it. Anything to keep me from replying.

Mac:
You going to be there tonight?

Well so much for that. Caitlyn leans over to peek and I try to hide the screen from her. Her eyes widen in excited surprise and she whispers,

"You got his number?"

Somehow the others hear this and they snap their heads over in my direction.

"You what?" They ask in unison.

"No." I say. "He got mine."

My friends glance amongst each other, probably wondering the same thing. Abbie is the one who verbalizes it,

"And you gave it to him?" She asks then adds, "Willingly?"

"Of course not," I say. God, what do they think that Mac's an exception to my cynical, sarcastic, every-day self? They have to be kidding me. "He snatched my phone last night and put my number in his contacts."

"And he wasn't afraid that you'd beat him into a hamburger patty for stealing your phone?" Caitlyn asks stupefied.

"Why would he?" I ask.

My friends all look at me like I've grown another head. Dumb. You're so dumb.

"Well, for one, you're Colby Matthews," Amelia says, breaking the silence. "Two, you're freaking Colby Matthews. Why wouldn't he be scared for his life?"

"Wow thanks." I says sarcastically and I eat another handful of Cheetos.

"It's true!" Hayden argues. "Now don't get me off topic again, Cole. You are going tonight and you will stay until the latest possible hour and you are going to have fun."

I open my mouth to protest but Caitlyn cuts me off,

"No excuses, you nasty cynic," she says. "Now, let's figure out what you're going to wear." She gets up and walks over to my closet.

"Why do I have to get dressed again?" I whine and I text Mac back:

Now I am

"Because!" Hayden answers. "Everyone dresses up for a party."

"This is a party now?" I ask. "We're just binge watching Shadowhunters, why the hell should I dress up for something that only requires pajamas."

"Because there're going to be boys there," Caitlyn says as she rummages through my closet. "One of them in particular who you are absolutely smitten for -"

"I met him two days ago!" I say in dismay. "I'm not in love with him for the love of God!"

"Yeah whatever, the point is, you have to look good," Caitlyn says dismissively. My phone buzzes.

Now?😂 Meaning that you've been forced to go?

Yes. Very much against my will, might I add.

Twenty minutes later, I'm dressed in a pair of maroon jeans, a tight black v-neck that shows cleavage I didn't even know I had until now - I've covered it up with a sweater, but who knows when they'll force me to take it off - and a black pair of Converse. They've straightened my sandy blonde hair and slapped some dark eyeliner and concealer onto my Saturday corpse face, and are currently dragging me out of my own house.

We all pile into Abbie's little white Jetta, me sitting in the back behind the passenger seat and next to Caitlyn, Hayden in the front, and Amelia on the other side of Caitlyn.

"Drop me off at my house," Hayden declares. "We can drop off Ams and Caitlyn at her house on the way and you and Cole can go to your house to get you ready."

"Cool." Abbie says. Mac texts me back just before we drop off Caitlyn and Amelia.

Wear something pretty ;)

My heartbeat seems to cease for a second when I read the text. This will be an interesting night.

***

"Screw this," Caitlyn snaps at Pretty Little Liars while we wait for the guys to get here. "This is so lame. The new episodes suck."

"Agreed." Says Amelia, who's changed into a army green shirt and jeggings and has put on make up. Don't get me wrong, but I'm still in the dark on the statement that we had to dress cute for a TV night. I mean it's beyond me. When you think "Netflix and chill", you think of lounging on a comfy couch in your pajamas eating fattening foods and chugging Cola, not cuddling in tight jeans and v-necks with a bunch of well dressed dudes. What even...?

"I'm getting Shadowhunters set up," Caitlyn informs us. She's gotten changed into black leggings, a blue polo, and matching Vans, and has put her hair up into one of those "messy" buns that aren't exactly messy but are made to look messy by strategically pinning back the hair that makes it look bad and arranging it in a way that sells it.

"Call me in when they get here, I'm going to do my make up." Caitlyn finishes and once she finds the show, she sets it up at the first episode and disappears down the hall to her bathroom.

"I still don't get the point of all this." I say and my remaining friends. "Did we really have to dress so uncomfortably for something as simple as this?"

"Why not?" Hayden asks. She's dressed in a white shirt and pastel pink jeans, subtly complimenting my maroon ones, and has braided her dark red hair down her right shoulder. "It's fun!"

"For you guys it might be but not when you're practically forced into wearing party clothes, when you're not even going to a party." I say, still confused at the whole deal.

"What? It's not like we're gonna make you drink a six pack of beer and smoke pot." Hayden replies. She walks into the kitchen and rummages through the fridge, taking out some Pizza Rolls and popping a few into the microwave.

"Still. You know I don't like the idea of having to socialize with more people than I have to."

"Screw that," Abbie scoffs. "I had to do it last time and really, it's not a big deal."

Hayden laughs from the kitchen. "Yeah that's because you talked to Mitch the whole damn time."

"I'll throw this book at you if you tease me about that again." Abbie warns and Amelia grabs Sherlock Holmes out of her hands.

"Yeah no," she says, making Abbie turn to glare daggers at her. "Nobody's getting a concussion tonight."

Abbie huffs. "I wasn't gonna throw it at her head."

Amelia smiles knowingly. "Yeah but we all know you were aiming for it."

"Touché." Abbie says. Hayden let's out a loud, "HA!" I groan and lay back on the couch, wrapping myself in one of Caitlyn's blankets and wishing I'd already changed into the pajama pants I'd snuck along with me, but being too lazy to get up and get them. Why can't they just get here so we can watch this stupid thing and go home?

Almost right after I think this, the doorbell rings and I change my mind. Nevermind, I wish they'd stayed away from this house so I wouldn't have to deal with them. Go away please.

"I've got it," Abbie says and she rises off the couch and opens the door. I pull the blanket over my head even more when I hear the voices of the four or five guys at the door, two of them of which I can identify distinctly belonging to Mac Thompson and Mitchell Havensdale. I curl up into a ball on the couch, back to the mindset I had as a first grader when I always told myself when playing hide and seek if you can't see them they can't see you.

On the other side of the blanket, I hear Caitlyn, Abbie, Amelia, and Hayden enter to greet the boys, their conversations growing louder and more annoying. I've just decided to emerge to grab a pillow when I feel fingers driving into my ribs.

I scream and my blanket is thrown off, opening me up to the general public and James Maclean. I scowl at his laughing face and curl up into my ball again after pulling my blanket back over me. But Mac yanks it off and sits down right next to my feet.

"Hey, Little Miss," He greets me. I groan. "I would say you look beautiful but I can't exactly see you right now."

I'm glad he can't see my face right now because I'm blushing to no end. I'm also glad that none of my friends can see me either. Now there's a plus.

Mac's hand closes around my arm and he pulls me up, but not harshly. His ice blue eyes take me in, inch by inch.

"You look beautiful." He says with a mischievous sparkle in his eyes. I raise an eyebrow at him, unamused.

"Eyes up here Wonder Boy," I say, realizing only a second later that that was exactly what I told him when he was looking at my name tag on Thursday, the day we met. He grins at me and replies,

"But that's even harder." I look at him confusingly.

"What, why?" I ask. Mac puts an arm around my shoulders and says,

"Because your even more beautiful up here," He draws a quick outline of my face with his finger and taps my nose at the end. "I don't know if I can take it for long before I try something stupid." I roll my eyes and shift from under his arm.

"If you do, I'll kill you," I warn him but he just chuckles it off.

"Nah you'd miss me too much," He says.

"I think I could live," I reply and Mac makes a tsk tsk sound.

"Ahh I don't think so, Little Miss," he drawls. I peel his arm off of me as I begins to hear the larger group make their way to the living room and reply,

"Try me."

A second later, the others come around to sit on the couch, Abbie, Mitch, Hayden, Amelia, Caitlyn and three other boys I recognize from school. Caitlyn snuggles into the corner of the sectional with the remote telling us that pizza will be here in ten and playing episode one of season one of Shadowhunters.

When the TV lights up with the opening credits, Mac pokes me and I look over at him, questioning. He just smiles at me knowingly and leans over to whisper softly my ear.

"Have any of your friends read the books?" He asks and I let out a breath of relief, having expected something a bit more personal than a question like that. Call me high-strung, but it scared me a little bit.

"No," I say with an eye roll. "And they'll pretend like they know it all." Mac looks at me unamused, and then grins, obviously up to something.

"What happens on page 511 in City of Lost Souls?" He asks and my friends look over at him. Worry crosses their faces and they begin to stammer,

"Oh yeah that part!" Questioning looks.

"Yeah that was so great!" Unsure responses.

"Uh-huh so crazy." Crazy eyes trying to get my attention. Mac smiles triumphantly.

"Malec breaks up." I say softly and Mac looks at me with pride.

"I knew you'd remember that." He says and he puts his arm around my shoulders again, causing everyone else around us to freeze and look over in disbelief. I feel myself blush and I sit back into the couch very uncomfortably as the theme song finishes and episode one begins...

***

Pizza came right before Clary's mother was kidnapped by her ex-husband-but-not-really. The other three guys I'd learned were named Lucas, Wen, and Caleb. I'd also learned that Lucas and Hayden have been seeing each other but not exactly dating for a long time now, and Caleb, Caitlyn, Mac, Wen, and Amelia were just their own little group set apart from Haycas and Abbitch (don't even ask how they came up with those ship names) before I finally came and made Macolby. Again. Please don't ask. I don't even know why the hell they made ship names for everything - though Abbitch was cute - when I wasn't there to approve of any of it.

We finished season 2 of Shadowhunters by two-thirty in the morning, but Amelia, Wen, and Caleb had left a little earlier. Now it was just me and Mac, Hayden and Lucas, Abbie and Mitch, and Caitlyn sitting on the sectional, eating the remaining slices of pizza and talking.

"Lucas and I are going to head out in a few," Hayden informs as she cuddles up to Lucas's chest, their hands interlocked in between them. Mac leans over and presses his lips gently to my ear, softly saying,

"That could be us if you'd let me." He grins at me teasingly after saying this and I scoff.

"Not a chance." I snap and I push myself up off the couch. I've changed into my pink and blue penguin pajama pants, but I have no idea where my sweater is so I am constantly having to pull up my shirt to keep from showing anything unnecessary. Thanks Caitlyn.

I make it into the kitchen and I grab a glass from the cabinet, filling it up with milk from the fridge, and chugging it as I pack up my stuff. I mean, my pants and phone.

"I'm leaving, can you give me a ride?" I ask Hayden but when I turn around I see them making out and getting handsy. I instantly look away and try to ask Mitch but he and Abbie have fallen asleep, Abbie holding Sherlock Holmes in her arms while being held by Mitch. God, just date already and save me the pain.

"I'll drive you," Mac says. Of course he will. I reluctantly agree and I chug down the rest of my milk, washing out the glass and putting it in the dishwasher when I finish. When I come back into the living room, Mac is standing and swinging his keys around his outstretched index finger waiting for me.

"See you Cait," I tell Caitlyn, who's on her phone, completely oblivious to the fact that one of our best friends is making out with some dude on her couch. She looks up from her phone and tells me that she'll see me on Monday then glances between me and Mac and winks at me. I roll my eyes and walk to the door after saying bye to Abbie and Mitch, not even bothering to goodbye to Hayden.

"Ready?" Mac says. I nod and he smiles softly, opening the door for me before I step out into the frigid February night. Caitlyn lives on the outskirts of town on a ten acre property that hosts a whole herd of sheep, some turkeys and chickens, a lot of goats and a few horses to boot. This is all in addition to their three dogs - Chopper, Bandit, and Muffin - and Caitlyn's four monstrous little sisters, who luckily are out of town for the weekend with their biological dad. To the east side of the house is their orchard that they share with the neighbors, that usually bear apples, oranges, pears, apricots and peaches in the summertime. And to the west is their other neighbors who always complain about the goats escaping and eating their flowers in the backyard.

"Red truck," Mac says, pointing ahead to where he parked in front of the house along with a silver Tacoma, a beat up Jeep and Caitlyn's white Ram. I trudge over in the freezing cold to the truck and Mac unlocks it, allowing me to climb up into the front seat. He climbs in after me and starts it, then waits in the driveway for the truck to warm up. When the truck is relatively warmer on the interior he tells me to buckle up in a tone that hints at mischief. I'm about to ask him a question when he shifts into drive and peels out at a terrifying speed, making me flatten against the seat with a scream and leaving me to frantically buckle myself in. He laughs at this and shifts first gear, effectively slowing us down a bit.

"I told you to buckle up." He says. I scowl at him.

"Yeah and you didn't give me any time to before you peeled out like that!" My heart races with adrenaline and I try to slow my breathing. "Jesus Christ." I mutter. Mac chuckles.

"All right all right, I'm sorry Cole," he says and he pulls into the main road. "Now where're we headed?"

"Benson," I answer and Mac nods.

"Cool."

Silence overtakes the interior of the car and I curl up in my seat, trying to keep my eyes open long enough to get me home. A song is playing on his stereo, one I can only understand a little bit of and my eyebrows furrow.

"Mianhae (I hate you),
Saranghae (I hate you),
Yongseohae,

I need you girl,
Wae honja saranghago honjaseoman ibyeolhae,
I need you girl..."

I know just a little bit of Korean to know that saranghae means "I love you" and yongseohae means "forgive". But it's beyond me why Mac would be listening to this kind of stuff. Isn't this for the nerdy people like me?

"I didn't think you liked k-pop," I state. Mac smiles and even through the darkness I can see just a little bit of defeat in that smile...

"I have a few issues, I was told that it's good for you," he says. "It's supposed to calm you. So you're not so much focusing on the words of the song because you don't understand them, and so then you're forced to focus on the structure of it and why they're singing and you have to connect with the emotions of song," I keep my eyes on him, the song continuing in the background. "It makes sense once you stop and listen," his eyes are focused on the road and I begin to see a thunderstorm underneath the surface of them, raging, ruthless, but calming at the same time.

I shift in the seat and close my eyelids, listening to the song as I drift into a swirling, black oblivion,

I need you girl,
Wae dachil geol almyeonseo jakku niga piryohae,
I need you girl neon areumdawo,
I need you girl neomu chagawo,
I need you girl (I need you girl),
I need you girl (I need you girl)...