[ listen to I don't want to live forever by taylor swift and zayne while reading this ]

Danielle's P.O.V

Cole's soft lips continue to move against mine and after a few seconds, my hands move desperately to Cole's neck as I kiss him back. Cole grabs a hold of my waist and lifts me up, my legs immediately wrapping around his waist to hold myself up.

Cole bites on my bottom lip and I hold in the moan that wants to escape. I run my hands through Cole's soft hair and continue to kiss him until I realise that we both need air.

We pull away and I look into Cole's eyes which seem to hold so much emotion, it begins to worry me. I look down at his lips, trying to ignore the tingling feeling on my lips. Cole looks into my green eyes and a small smile appears on his lips.

"That definitely calmed you down." Cole says and my eyes widen in disbelief. I quickly get out of Cole's grasp and move away from Cole, tears stinging in my eyes.

Why the hell am I crying?

I quickly turn around and bite my lip. "I'm... sorry I kissed you back." I say before running into my room and locking the door behind me. I drop to the floor and lean against the door, letting the tears fall.

"Danielle, I'm confused." I hear Cole say and I hold onto my shaking hands.

So am I.

"Please... leave me alone." I say and Cole breathes out a heavy sigh but doesn't say anything. I rest my hands on the top of my head and close my eyes.

Why am I crying? Why did I even kiss Cole back? Why am I now hiding away from Cole?

So many questions are running through my head as I let the tears fall but the one question that stands out makes my heart clench in realisation.

Am I feeling something for Cole?

●●●

After many hours of staying up thinking about everything, I finally decided to get some sleep but the only problem is that I can't.

The things that I am confused about is why Cole kissed me. Did he only kiss me to shut me up and calm me down? From what I felt, I thought Cole was actually attracted to me but I guess not.

In the past, the only time I felt like this was when a guy who was just like Cole took my virginity and threw me away like I was a garbage bag. You see, the guy and I sort of had a 'friends with benefits' thing going but we were only making out and kissing until one night when we both got pretty drunk. I think it was the night after my father has been pronounced dead and thats probably why I wasn't thinking at all.

When I told him I was ready, he didn't ask any questions and got straight into it. The next day, I felt amazing. The guy I had a huge crush on at the time took my innocence away and I thought that we would be together and live happier ever after. That didn't happen. I found him sleeping with some other girl downstairs and thats when I knew that I was the one who fucked up, not him. I got myself into this and expected that I could change the player but of course, I was wrong.

I felt so disgusted after and I never talked to the guy again and he didn't try to get through to me. He kept doing the exact same thing with other girls; sleeping with them then throwing them away just like he did to me. I knew from that day on, I would never trust anyone like I trusted him and I kept my guard up at all times. That is probably why I am the major bitch I am today; to act strong.

Now, I feel like I am in that exact situation. I left my guard down for two seconds and this is what happens.

I'm so pathetic.

What I am confused about the most though is my feelings for Cole. Do I like him of is it just a simple attraction? I sort of don't want to like Cole but can I really stop my feelings? I just hope I can get through this without any more tears.

I rub my eyes tiredly and let out a sigh. I look down at the airbed next to me, wondering if Cole decided to go out or sleep on the couch. Feeling curious, I get out from my bed and walk over to my door, unlocking it and peeking out to see Cole sitting on the couch with a notepad in his hands. The light from the television appears on Cole's face so I can see him clearly and I notice that he is frowning slightly while writing something on the notepad.

Should I walk out?

I let out a sigh and pull the door back and step out into the living room, watching as Cole's eyes glance over at me for a brief second before looking back at the notepad.

Okay, why did that just hurt?

"C-Cole?" I stutter, taking slow steps towards him. I clench my hands in a ball so they can stop shaking and hide them behind my back. I stand in front of Cole, watching as he continues to write on his notepad.

"Yes, Danielle?" Cole asks, his voice coming out harsh. I bite the inside of my cheek and squeeze my hands tighter.

"I-I..." I stutter, the words I was going to say a second ago simply disappear from my mind. This isn't like me at all...

"Spit it out." Cole says, his eyes looking back up at me. Instead of his eyes going back down to the notepad, his eyes stay on me. I bite my lip and immediately turn around.

"I'm sorry I'm such a bitch." I say, not wanting to stare into Cole's eyes. I hardly apologize to anyone but when I do, I mean it and thats why I'm apologizing now. I might regret this but I can't help but think that I'm treating him like shit every single day.

"Good to know." Cole says in a low voice. I close my eyes and clench my jaw together. I slowly turn around and stare at Cole who is staring back at me with what looks like... boredom?

"Can we... talk?" I ask and Cole shrugs.

"I don't know. Can we?"

"Stop giving me the attitude, Cole. I'm trying to be nice here and your throwing it back in my face." I say and Cole raises his eyebrow at me, placing his notepad beside him before standing up.

"And I was trying to be thoughtful but you had to throw that back in my face. Tell me, Danielle. If I didn't kiss you, what would've happened?" Cole asks, his eyebrow still raised. I look up at him, clearly confused.

"I don't know." I say quietly and Cole nods.

"Exactly. So, please do us both a favor and just go back to your room." Cole says, his eyes narrowing and my heart clenches again.

Punch him, my brain says and I look up at Cole and try to say something but no words come out of my mouth.

"Go on, Danielle." Cole says and instead of going into my room, I rise on my toes and connect my lips with his, taking both of us by suprise.

I wait for Cole to kiss me back but he doesn't. After waiting a few more seconds and not getting a reaction, I move away from Cole. Anger washes over me and I grit my teeth.

Ah, now some emotion other than vulnerability.

"What is your problem?" I scream in frustration and Cole just stares down at me, holding not emotion in his eyes whatsoever. After glaring at him for a few seconds, I turn on my heel and begin to walk to my room. Before I can enter it though, Cole grabs my wrist and spins me around, pushing me up against the wall.

Before I can yell at him, his eyes go down to my lips and all of a sudden, they touch mine and the anger that was once in me washes away and turns into satisfaction.

Cole pulls away and rests his hands on either side of my head as he stares deeply into my green eyes. "You drive my insane, Danielle." Cole breathes out and his hands go to my waist. They begin to trail up my singlet and they reach behind my back, holding onto the clip of the bra. He looks at me, silently questioning me if he should.

"Do it." I say and before I know it, Cole unclips the bra. In one swift movement, he lifts my singlet and my bra away from my body, his lips moving back to my mouth.

"You drive my insane, Danielle."

Likewise.

●●●

Okay, okay... Just let me breath for a second. WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED! One minute, Cole hates Danielle and the next, they are now having sex? Oh wait, I wrote this so why am I asking you that question? Anyway, what do you all think? I literally wrote this in like half an hour so be proud that I am back at it with this book.

You know what to do.

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I love you all and hopefully I'll update soon.

-XmysterysmileX