A R I A

"Yo, Mrs. Cockroach," Miles hands me a packet of M&M's while he waves at the demon teacher. "what's up?"

Slapping my forehead, I dump the remaining chocolates into my mouth so that I can use the empty packet as a weapon and smack Miles' face. He freezes, as if registering what just happened, before his lips curl into a pout. A small laugh from me turns his frown into a playful smile.

Mrs. Cockroach does not seem pleased to see us. Her shocked expression morphs into a hard glare, but her next actions surprise me the most.

"Oh, heavens! My poor darling, Aria! What on earth happened to you?" In a flash, her face is right in front of mine. Her alien-like fingers squish my cheeks and stroke my hair, leaving me bewildered.

What the heck?

"Uh . . ." This is the first time I don't have a smartass reply to Mrs. Cockroach. It seems as though everyone is just as confused and startled as I am. I grab hold of Miles' hand from behind the wheelchair and squeeze it, desperately hoping he understands. Oh, this moron better not do something stupid.

"Why are you sitting on a unicorn? Why are you in this disgusting bedroom, with my sister and her two other customers?" Mrs. Cockroach continues to cradle my face. I slowly inch away, inflating my cheeks and grimacing when the stench of her breath sneaks its way up into my nostrils.

"Oh my god, it's a demon! She's possessed!"

If I hadn't already noticed her breath smells of weed, I would have agreed with Miles. There would have been no other explanation for Mrs. Cockroach's behaviour. Her ability to feel genuinely concerned for one of her amazing students seems like something that would only happen if this were a fantasy world.

Much to my relief, Mrs. Cockroach drops her hands from my face and backs away. Her movements are sluggish, but she manages to stand still and straight, shaking her head in disappointment at Miles. He visibly stiffens, ocean blue eyes growing wide and lips slightly parted. Not only does he look uncomfortable, but it's clear that he's absolutely horrified. His eyes dart to me, begging for some kind of help. My snickering gives him my answer, resulting in another pout.

Crap, why does he have to be so adorable?

But just because he's cute doesn't mean I'm going to save him. Returning a mocking pout, I shoot him a thumbs up.

"And you," Mrs. Cockroach points an accusing finger at Miles. "what are you doing here, young man? I'm calling your parents and telling them what you've been up to! Don't you have any self-respect, coming into a brothel and sleeping with my sister? And bringing your girlfriend along, only to leave her with the unicorn?"

Her last sentence turns Miles and I into tomatoes.

"She's not my-"

"I'm not his-"

Mrs. Cockroach cuts us both off by spinning around and facing her duplicate.

"Oh, great. It's my turn now," Linda mutters, completely unfazed.

"Linda, have you no shame entertaining not only this child," she juts her chin in Hiroshi's direction and he places a hand over his heart, his expression showing a clear look of offence. "but a high school student as well? I've never been more disgusted in my entire life!"

"Miles, pass me some chips," I nudge him. Without any protesting, he hands me a packet of Ruffles.

"I'm twenty-seven!" Hiroshi exclaims. His eyebrows are knitted together and his fists are clenched by his sides. "Do I look like a child to you?"

"Hiroshi, my man, you're tinier than Shortcake." The question was aimed at Mrs. Cockroach, but Miles answers it instead.

"Am not!" Hiroshi states.

"Are too," Miles' lips twitch. He shoves a bunch of potato chips into his mouth to keep himself from breaking character. I roll my eyes and groan, keeping my elbows on the armrests of the wheelchair.

"Am not!"

"Are too,"

"Am not!"

"Are too,"

"Am not!"

"Are too,"

"AM NOT!"

"TOO ARE!"

"Will you two please shut your mouths?" Linda pulls at her hair, shoving her sister aside.

"NOT TOO!"

"What the fu-" My words are cut short after a heel flies past my face, leaving me stunned.

At this point, I have no idea what's going on. With the children bickering and Mrs. Cockroach screeching from her spot on the floor, it's safe to say that I have given up on humanity.

"ARE AM!"

"Miles, stop! You're hurting the chips!" I snatch the bag from his grasp and clutch it to my chest, letting out a sigh of relief when I peek inside. Barely any of the poor chips are crushed. Thank God.

"NOT ARE!"

"Would you look at that, Mother Gothel's in her brothel," Mrs Cockroach picks herself off from the floor and proceeds to cackle like a witch.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Linda holds her heel out in front of her in a defensive matter.

"TOO NOT!"

Mrs. Cockroach continues her absurd cackling. "I have no idea. I just said that because it rhymed."

Where the hell are the rest of the staff? How come no one else is hearing this?

"NOOO, MRS. COCKROACH! DON'T EAT THE BROWNIES!"

Before anyone could utter another word, Hunter emerges from the elevator and tackles Mrs. Cockroach, resulting in short screams and grunts of pain.

Hiroshi lets out a low whistle. Much like the rest of us, his eyes are wide and his brows are raised. I thought he was used to this.

"Hunt, how—what?" Miles hooks a finger around the collar of Hunter's shirt and forces him to stand. "So you mean she's not possessed?"

"Mom saw Mrs. Cockroach walking by our house and gave her those hash brownies. I didn't have the car so I had to run all the way here!"

"Your mom is a drug dealer, dude." Miles pats him on the back.

I almost choke on my own spit.

"What? No, she's not! It's not her fault she keeps getting tricked by our neighbours, and her pure heart just wants to give everyone some brownies." Hunter crosses his arms over his chest and shoots daggers at Miles with his eyes. He turns to me, with the look of a lost puppy. "Aria, back me up here. Please?"

"I'm sorry, Hunt, but if Ashley continues to share her brownies with everyone, she's going to become the world's greatest dealer—without even knowing it, too!" 

Hunter's mom is the kindest woman I've ever met, but she's also the most naïve. Imagining her going around town and offering everyone a batch of hash brownies with having no idea what she's actually giving them makes me want to laugh and cry at the same time.

"Aria, for God's sake, get off that unicorn!" Mrs. Cockroach recovers from battling with her sister and slips on her heel, pulling at my cheeks yet again.

"Yeah, Aria," Hunter snorts. "get off that unicorn. It looks inappropriate."

"Hiroshi, I can see you stealing from that vending machine. You're not being subtle at all. Put the candy bar back." Linda's voice comes from behind me. I didn't even realize she and Hiroshi had disappeared from my line of sight.

"What on earth is going on here?!"

Four nurses, along with two doctors and one security guard, are now surrounding us. It took them this long to get here?

"What do you mean, 'what on earth is going on here'? What do you think is going on here? You prostitutes disgust me! As well as you two strippers," Mrs. Cockroach scoffs at the baffled doctors. "acting like you have no connection to this place. And what is that man doing there? Linda, is he your client too?"

"Ma'am, I'm going to have to ask you to leave," The security guard takes a few strides towards her.

Miles taps my shoulder, diverting my attention away from the chaos. "I think we should get out of here,"

"I second that," I tell him.

"You guys better not leave me behind," Hunter pops his head in between ours.

"Fine," Miles takes charge of the wheelchair again and presses the button for the elevator. He throws a glance over his shoulder, waiting until everyone has forgotten about us. When the moment finally comes, so does the elevator. We hurry inside and burst out laughing as soon as the doors close.

"What just happened?" I manage to get the words out between fits of laughter.

"I don't even know," Miles says, wiping at his eyes.

"I'm never going to be able to look at Mrs. Cockroach with a straight face," Hunter admits, leaning against the wall. "Wait, Aria, you're not supposed to be leaving the hospital."

"Tell anyone and I'll tell Mrs. Cockroach about the brownies when she's sober." My threat makes him gulp and nod frantically.

"Yes, ma'am."

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Hello my loves! I have a late Christmas present for you guys: a double update! Yup, that's right, you can continue scrolling to the next chapter :) It's been over a month since I have updated, so I thought it'd be nice give y'all two chapters.

Keep scrollin' ;)

P.S this chapter was written at 4 AM so I don't know what I was thinking lmao